


My Best Friend

by maryaun



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2017-12-31 06:26:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 119,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maryaun/pseuds/maryaun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This takes place after Gail witnesses Holly on her date at The Penny (beginning of episode 4x12). Chaos ensues. The interrogation room kiss never happened (don't worry). Written in Gail's POV, with her inner voice making an appearance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It has been a monumentally shitty day. First there was the spilling of orange juice on my only clean uniform. _I blame Holly for that._ Then I almost drove over my crotchety old neighbor. Then Chloe got shot in the neck. Then I got shot at. And now Oliver is missing.

_Is that gum on my shoe? Super!_

"We just got word... They have found Oliver." Steve says knocking my feet from my desk. I finally take that deep breath I had been holding in for so many hours. With that one breath, all the anxiety of the day so far has suddenly left my body. "Best wants you and Chris down there to help clear the scene. Grab your stuff, ok?" He says looking at his phone before answering it.

I gleefully spin around in my chair a few times. _Yay!_

"Gail." I hear my name called from across the to room. _Why is my happiness always so short lived?_ I turn around and see Holly near the front desk.

_Man, she looks really worried. I wonder what this is about... She has never come to see me here before... and now my anxiety is back._

I wave her over as I feel Steve's hand grab my shoulder. "That was Best, Ford is in the station." He whispers in my ear.

"I -I know." I feel an instant chill down my spine as I see Ford forcefully making his way through the crowd. _Is that a rifle?_

I return my gaze to Holly who is gracefully walking to towards me, none the wiser of the shit storm that is about to happen to all of us. _Can this day get any worse?_

The sound is deafening. Holly grabs her ears and I lunge towards her and take her straight into my arms and spin her around to shield her from any wayward flying bullets. I never imagined our first embrace would be because of some nut job shooting at us. _Seriously Gail, you are thinking about this now?_

As we start to purposely fall to the ground I feel Chris and Steve's bullets whizzing past my head, before my body is viciously propelled forward.

_Yup, I have fallen on top of Holly. Oh, and I can't breathe!_

I feel Holly lift me off her and turn me onto my back like I weigh nothing more than a feather. _She has muscles_.

"Gail, look at me, can you hear me? Please Gail, say something" she whimpers.

I hear her. She is very beautiful when she is worried. Beautiful, and a bit blurry. _I just need to close my eyes for a bit._

"Gail wake up! No no no! Please! You are my best friend and I have only just found you. Wake up, wake up!"

I slowly open my eyes and catch my breath. "Stop shaking me, Nerd."

She pulls me half up so I'm leaning forward, but still on the floor. I feel her hands ferociously grab at the Velcro on my vest. She pulls it off, then casts it aside.

"Hey, that's evidence" I say. _And... she's ignoring me_.

She's now tugging at my shirt, basically ripping off the buttons. Her brain running a mile a minute I suspect. I just go with it. She spins me around on the floor as I feel her hands all over the bare skin of my back. I can feel all the tiny hairs on my body stand on end. This is a day of firsts for us.

Her hands make their way around my abdomen as she explores my stomach. _Her hands are quite soft. I suppose I am not surprised, she wears gloves all day._

Her hands pass over my belly button and I suddenly shiver.

"Fuck, did I hurt you?"

_Holly just swore! I like it._

Her hands still on my stomach, I bite my bottom lip and quickly shake my head.

"Y -your hands are cold." _Plus I'm ticklish there. She doesn't need to know that_.

"Oh" she says retracting them quickly.

I watch her take a deep breath as she drops down on the floor beside me. She wipes the tears from her eyes. "You're fine, you're fine." She repeats over and over.

_I am fine, but fuck, you're crying!_

"You're crying?!" _That wasn't supposed to come out like a question._

"Nice observation, Officer". She jabs back, as she picks up my vest and grazes her fingers over the bullet hole.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." I say, knowing exactly what she is going to say next.

"You saved me," she says with new tears falling.

_And there it is..._

I don't like it when people cry. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable, but this is making my heart break a little bit. I give her a small smile and shrug my shoulders.

"It was nothing." I say, as casually as you like.

Holly cocks her head. "Seriously?"

I laugh. _She looks maaaadddd._

* * *

"It's been an hour, Traci, can I go yet?"

"Shut up, Gail, and sit there" she says. _How rude!_

Steve walks in smiling "You have the all clear, though you are going to be pretty sore in the morn..." I'm already out the door.

I find Holly pacing in hallway, shaking her hands out violently as if she just thought of something terrible, and is trying to physically extract it from her big brain. I can't blame her, it has been a big day, something no one should ever experience.

As I slowly approach her I can hear her mumbling something. "Stupid fucking guns" I hear.

"Gail!" _Shit!_ _I've startled her; I wish I hadn't done that._

"Come with me". I grab her arm and drag her into the locker room.

I push her onto the closest bench. "Holly, take a seat will you?" I say pleadingly as I hand her a cup of water. "Give me a minute to change and we can get out of here. Did you drive here?"

She didn't answer, as she was too busy dipping her finger in her water.

"Holly!"

"Wait, what?" She exclaims.

"I said did you drive here today?"

"Ah... Yes, I did" she says, returning her fingers to her water.

I grab the first shirt I see in my locker. I pause for a second. I shake my head repeatedly in disbelief. "You shouldn't have been here today," I say quietly.

"Gail? -I"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it." I cut her off. _Don't add to her worry, Gail._

I take off my shirt, leaving my black under shirt on. I reach up high into my locker to hang it up, and I hear Holly gasp.

I quickly turn around. "Wah? What's wrong?" I ask fearfully.

With tears falling again, she is points at my back, while masking her face. I look down and see my top has ridden up above my ribs, exposing a rather large and gnarly looking bruise. I quickly pull my top down and throw the other shirt over it.

"It's fine, Holly. It barely even hurts." I say lying through my teeth. _This kills like a motherfucker. Getting shot sucks!_

Holly's hands run tensely through her hair. She leans forward cupping her face, her elbows digging into her thighs. I don't think I have ever been so worried about someone. _Ever._

I slide up next to her, and tentatively put my arm around her shoulder giving it a light pat. "I wish you wouldn't beat yourself up about this. Please?"

Holly slowly lifts her face up towards mind and stares into my eyes for seems like forever, though it's only been a few seconds. She wipes her tears without breaking eye contact.

I lean in a bit, reassuringly I squeeze her shoulder. "I'm fine, Holly, OK? We're fine." I say softly. _I guess I shouldn't tell her I got shot at twice today._

Before she has time to reply I grab my bag, and I take hold of Holly's hand to pull her up. "Let's get outta here."

* * *

It's very quiet on the drive home. Neither Holly nor I have said a word in over 10 minutes. I'm feeling physically incapable of speaking, but I really need to make sure she's ok.

Holly pulls into my driveway and I undo my seat belt and turn towards her. "I think you should come in with me. Have a coffee or something, order a pizza? I don't think you should be alone right now, and... I don't want to be either." _Personal honesty, that's interesting. Good, she's nodding. That's a start._

I walk slowly up the steps towards the front door, Holly closely following behind. I think it's the perfect time for some meaningless small talk. "You know, I spilt OJ all over my uniform this morning and I'm pretty sure it's all your fault". I chuckle. _You are so stupid; you are NOT about to tell why it's her fault._ "Anyway..."

I put the key to the door, but they fall to the ground, I bend over to pick them up _. Nope, I can't hold this in._ "Jesus Christ" I yell as I grab my lower back and immediately stand up straight without picking up the keys. "Wow that hurt." I laugh it off.

I can hear Holly backing away from me. I turn and see her with her hands in the air like she is under arrest.

"Gail, I -I can't." She says.

I raise my eyebrows _. You can't what?_

" _I_ can't do this... be your friend."

Before I have a chance to respond, she's made a run for it.

I'm running after her, hand on my side, trying to support my back. But I have to stop almost immediately. _You fool; you think you can catch up to her?_

"Holly, I don't DO running, you know that" I yell at her. "Athletic freak." I mumble to myself.

_There she goes. My best friend._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about my tense, grammar, whatever are all over the place. Forgive me.

_What just happened?_

That's all I think about as I sit in front of the tv, ice cream in hand, feeling guiltier by the mouthful. A few spoonfuls have missed my mouth and landed on my pants. I really don't care at this point.

I play with my phone, as I will it to ring. _She will call any second, I know it_.

What I've quickly come to learn about Holly is that she never leaves anything unsaid. She always uses her words. _So. Many. Words._ But it's been two hours and I have heard nothing, so it must be serious but I know I can't sit here much longer when I feel like this. I feel sick and it's not the ice cream. The knots in my stomach are getting tighter by the minute.

Without a second thought I press speed dial 3 on my phone.

"Traci, are you still at work?" I say with a tremble in my voice. _I hope she didn't notice_.

"I am" she says. "What's up? You guys doing okay?".

"I am fine Traci. Can you do me favour? Look up Holly's address for me?"

"Gail? What's wrong?" Her voice drops.

"Nothing. Please Tracy, just do this for me?" I would have thought she would have known by now I hate it when people answer questions with questions.

"Okay, okay, I'm doing it." She quips.

"Thank you" I sigh with relief.

* * *

I press the buzzer a few times and I take a few steps back and look up at Holly's building, it's leaning over me, mocking me, making me feel as small as ever. _Answer_. Buzz. _The fucking. Buzz_. _Door_. Buzz.

I usually revel in the thought of a confrontation, it's when I'm at my best. But my nerves are shot, and this particular confrontation isn't very appealing to me right now.

"Yeah" I hear on the speaker.

"Holly it's Gail, can I speak to you?"

"No."

"No?."

"Yes."

"That's a yes?"

"No, that's a yes to your no."

"Holly, I'm confused."

"Not unusual for our conversations, Gail." _Aww.._ _She made a joke :)_

"Gail, I don't want to speak to you right now. Please leave me alone." _That's my line!_

"Hol.." I say before the the speaker goes dead. _She is really not going to talk to me, is she?_

"I'm not leaving" I shout towards the building. _She can't hear you, Gail._

I walk towards the cement wall surrounding the overly landscaped garden and gingerly lift my self up on the ledge to sit down.

It's 6pm. 45 minutes later, and I am not sure what I am expecting to happen, but I am hoping she may leave her apartment at some point to I dunno, get food, go for a run, walk the dog. _She doesn't have a dog_.

"Ow, my ass" I say aloud. I shift against the cold hard surface as I hear the security door open. _Please be Holly, please be Holly._

Holly walks slowly down the path towards the street light, fumbling for something in her bag. She adorably drops her glasses from the top of her head to her nose, before pulling out her keys.

"Hey, lunchbox". I call.

She turns around quickly and drops her bag.

"You're stalking me now?" Voice slightly raised as she leans down to pick up her bag.

I shrug my shoulders, as I'm not sure how to answer that. "I'm worried about you." I surprisingly admit.

"Gail, don't be be. And I thought I told you I didn't want to talk, why can't you respect that?"

"Sorry, it's not in my nature." I say only half sarcastically. _She's not impressed._

She stands still for a second and looks at me before turning and walking away. I hop off the wall and run, as quickly as I physically can towards her. Reaching for her elbow, I turn her around, as my hand drops down to her wrist, squeezing tightly so she can't escape. I see her look with surprise at my hand gripping hers, so i drop contact and take one step back. I invaded her personal space. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes, and I wipe a rolling tear from my cheek. _This is new for me._ I can tell she wants to say something by the way her lips part as she hesitantly moves forward a fraction, but I need to get in first.

"I heard you. In the station. Before you ripped off my clothes? You said I was you best friend."

"Well... I -I ." She stutters.

"I've never really had a best friend, Holly, even when I was younger. But I'm pretty sure best friends don't blow each other off like that. You knew I was worried about you and I was trying to comfort you. You know that is hard for me to do, right? I don't do that for just anyone.

I'm not the bravest police officer, or the smartest. But I am extremely loyal to my friends and colleagues I work with. We protect each other everyday. It's part of the job. But I feel... _Suck it up, Gail you're on a roll._ "I feel... You threw it all back in my face."

I take a few steps back and drop my hands to my hips. _That's it, that's all I'm gonna say. Your turn._ She looks stunned, like a wounded dog. I have spilled my guts so she has no choice but to explain this to me.

"Before, at your house, seeing you in pain? I couldn't take it. I wasn't sure I could handle being your friend because..." She pauses. "You got hurt Gail! You shielded me from a bullet. A bullet! I know now it's not my fault. You were just being you, you are selfless, you can't help it."

Praise is something I'm not used to, and for it to be genuine? I feel a little overwhelmed.

"But it scared the hell out of me." She continues.

_Is this the 'you're a police officer, your job is too dangerous' speech? Oliver said this would happen someday. Oh, she's not finished._

"My job is morbid Gail, and for some reason I like it. I spend my time with corpses!

But these past few weeks I have found myself thinking more about these people. More than I should. And in my line of work it's not healthy. I can't be be distracted, there are too many people depending on me.

You see, I realised that there is a higher risk that _you_ could easily be on one of my colleagues table one day. Even someday soon." _I should probably say something reassuring right now_.

"I just need time Gail. To think."

"No." I say immediately.

"No?"

"Yes!." I giggle. She gives me a wry smile.

"I can't accept that. I have given you 3 hours to come to your senses, and I think that's enough." I say. _Way to stick to you guns, Gail._

"I am so grateful for what you did for me today, Gail, but I have to go." I catch a tear falling down her face as she turns to walk to her car.

Before I know it I can't stop myself. "Please, don't leave me". Something I've wanted to say my whole life, but never could.

Holly stops, and shakes her head as she turns around and leans on her car for support. I wait for her to say something, it's been too long without words, especially from her. An inevitable wave of fear crashes over me. She smiles gently at me and I know she won't. _She won't leave me today._


	3. Chapter 3

My previous visits here have never been easy, but knowing Holly is here in the hospital waiting for me, makes me feel a little bit calmer. At least I know she will never sleep with one of my exes.

She walks straight up to me as soon as I come out of radiology. "Did you want to go see Dov and Chloe?"

"Nah, I saw them both last night, so I've filled up my weekly nerd time quota" I joke. "I am really glad for Dov's sake that Chloe is awake and almost back to being her annoying self." Holly rolls her eyes at me. "You just can't stop that mouth of yours can you?" I shake my head. _Nope._

I may have been a little freaked out earlier, but now that it's over I am glad I can walk down the street with Holly and forget about the last 30 minutes.

"Holly, thanks for coming with me today. I don't know what it is, but that particular doctor always freaks me out."

"Not worries, I think owed you..." She trails off.

I don't disagree. Though I'm not entirely sure if she is referring to me taking a bullet (for which she owes me nothing) or for her somewhat questionable, but understandable behaviour the other night. However, I think I need to show her it's not necessary. "Enough, already lunchbox" I say, as I loop my arm in hers.

"Okay, okay, I'm done. I will never mention it again." She chuckles. "So? How did the scan go?"

"Oh it's all good. No damage done." I say convincingly for the first time.

She removes her arm from mine reaches into her bag. She is practically jumping up and down. "I have a surprise for you".

"Lunchbox, I thought you'd know your audience by now?" _I hate surprises._

"Well actually I have a few surprises for you today" she quips.

"Great..." I roll my eyes. I have a feeling she is trying to make up for something.

"Here" she whips out a pink iced donut and places it my hand, then licks her finger. Beaming, she looks back and forth between the donut and me, but it seems as though I'm missing something... "Ha" she says happy with herself as she squishes a cheese puff on top. _She's too cute._

I can't help but laugh.

We reach her car, and I get in the passenger side. She is kneeling on her seat as she frantically searches for something.

"So what is this other surprise then? I'm not sure you can top the last one. It was very sweet of you." _I am completely serious._

She stops what she is doing for a moment and frowns at me, then punches my arm. "Ow!" She doesn't believe me. This is the one time I am actually telling her as it is. I have gotten so good at deflecting everything that now it all sounds the same. _How depressing._

She restlessly sits down in her seat. "I would show you the other surprise if I could just find my fucking phone. Gail, give me yours. I'm going to call it." She says holding her hand out towards me.

I don't hesitate to hand it over as her current look of determination is kinda scaring me. "Number 7" I tell her.

She is looking at me with that stupid face. The 'im-a-nerd-and-i-think-I'm-about-to-say-something- funny' face. So I wait for it.

"7!" She exclaims. "I'm a 7?"

Even though it's the lamest thing I have ever heard, I know I should come back with some provocative reply, she all but expects it, but I can't, its just sooooo bad. "Just ring the damn phone already will you?"

She starts entering the combination. "I'm at least a 9" I hear her mumble under her breath. _No comment._ She won't stop smirking, so at least she finds it amusing.

I feel a vibration under my chair, so I reach down and pull the phone out between my legs and hand it back to her. She unlocks her phone and quickly finds what she is looking for, then hands it straight back to me. "Why am I looking at a photo of a house? Holly, did you buy me a house?"

She snickers as I hand the phone back to her. "No precious, that's my house. I inherited it, but I don't use it very much as I am always working. But seeing as we have both been forced out of work the next few days, we're going!" I raise an eyebrow. _Are we now?_

"Actually it was Steve's idea", she says after noticing the subtle look of shock on my face. "So Steve, Traci and Chris are coming with us." _I'll kill him_. "It about 70 miles from here, on a lake. It's quite beautiful."

"You know normally I would scoff at the thought of something like this but I am going to shut up and not say another word."

"I think that's very a wise move," she says. I thought I should give her this one. She did after all just give me a donut.

She turns the ignition and starts the car as I lie back on my seat and turn my head towards her. "There will be alcohol, right?"

"Yes, Gail" she exhales, breathing out all the air in her lungs. I think I am exhausting her with my lack of enthusiasm.

"Holly?"

"Yes, Gail" she says still in the same tone.

"I love my donut." She turns and glances at me and I take a bite hoping she knows I'm serious. _Of course she knows._


	4. Chapter 4

All I hear is laughing, which is a welcome change considering the last 72 hours. I know I have been pretty quiet today, but my back has been bothering me and I thought alcohol would mask it, both the psychological and physical pain of it all. I feel like I'm jumping out of my own skin. That day has been playing on my mind. Vivid flashes of Ford and that rifle and Holly's beaming face coming towards me. It makes me shiver all over.

"Gail, are you playing or what? Traci asks as she deals the next hand.

"No, I'm out." I smile at Holly who seems to been glaring at me again. I have noticed her do that a few times in the past hour. It's her you-say-everything-is-fine-but-really-it-isn't" face. _She sees right through you_.

"Actually, I think I might go to bed". I stand up and kiss Steve on the cheek. I walk past Holly and give her a playful squeeze on her shoulders. I walk through the sliding door into the house. "Night losers".

* * *

"Chris! Stop! Bloody! Snoring! I am never sleeping with you again." _Ever_.

I quietly get out of bed before realising I am wearing only a bra and shorts. I forgot that Chris would be bunking with me, so I quickly throw on a tank top and tip toe out of the room. Who am I kidding? I just yelled at him, nothing could wake him.

I drum my fingers on the door across the hallway then slowly peak in. I had seen a light on so why wouldn't I let myself in?

Holly looks up from her book and pushes her glasses to the top of her head.

"Chris is snoring, can I sleep in here... with you?" _Gulp_.

"Of course you can." She's says without a second thought. She drops her glasses back over her eyes and goes back to her book.

I casually wander around her room and stop at the photos on her mantle. A few small ones surround a large frame of what I can only assume is Holly when she was a little girl with her parents. They are standing on the jetty down by the lake on this very property. _So adorable._ I need to break the silence. "Did your parents give you this house?"

"Yes, in a way, they died when I was six." She says not taking her eyes away from her book.

"Oh, I'm sorry"

"That's ok" she shrugs. "It is what it is." I can tell from her tone she doesn't want to talk about it. _Change the subject_.

I run my fingers over the books in her bookcase, and I read a few of the titles out out-loud.

"'Anatomy of the Blue Whale'". _Interesting_.

"Haha, 'Forensics for Dummies', maybe I should read this?"

"Maybe you should! My Ex bought me that. It was a joke". "Obviously" I say, not very warmly I might add. Holly scoffs.

I notice an inscription on the first page, so I can't _not_ read it.

'My dearest Hollykins'. _Okay, spew._

'I will love you always.' _How original._

'Yours, Heidi.' _What a stupid name_.

I close it quickly and shove it back into the shelf, doing the same with my thoughts. _Moving on then..._

"Anatomy of the Prairie Dog".

"The animal anatomy books were my dads," she states. _Cool_.

"The Lesbian Kama Sutra" I hold it up and show it to Holly as if she's never seen it before, though she doesn't even look.

She smirks into her book. "Would you believe me if I told you it was for purely science related purposes?"

"Um, nooooo." I draw I out. _Hmm, kinky!_

I open the first page and check for the elusive 'Heidi' inscription. _Nothing_. I place it back in the shelf.

I walk over to the bed and Holly shifts over to make a bit more room for me. I prop myself up next to her.

I poke her book. "Whatcha readin'?"

"It's called 'Go To Sleep Gail'." _LOL_.

"Funny." I shift down into the bed and lie on my side facing away from her. "Sounds boring. Maybe you should read it to me so I can fall asleep.

I can feel the bed shaking from her silent laughing.

I hear her close her book and hop out bed. I turn over and watch her walk over to the ensuite bathroom. Her hair falls to her shoulders as she pulls the tie, then she removes her sweater and closes the bathroom door. A minute later she opens the door and I quickly turn back over. The scent of her moisturiser wafts through the room. She suddenly jumps on the bed, which propels me slightly into the air. She giggles. She gets under the covers and I hear turn off her lamp. Her weight shifts and I roll against her, as she leans over me to turn off the lamp on my bedside table, but she stops mid air and I feel her hand softly touch the curve of my back between my ribs and hip. Her palm is warm against my skin. She grazes her fingers over my bruise. I'm sure she can see and feel the goosebumps she is giving me.

"Holly? I can hear you thinking."

There are no apologies, she just pulls my top back down, reaches over me and turns the lamp off, and then sinks into the bed and onto her back. I feel her let out a deep breath. For many hours I have been struggling with thoughts of that day, so it's only natural she would be too. It probably doesn't help that I am right next her, a constant reminder of how short life could be. And now my black and blue skin is the last thing she will see before she closes her eyes. It's taking all my will power not to turn over and hold her. Not that I am really into cuddling or anything. Maybe I should just do it? She is always hugging everyone she sees, so what's a hug between friends? In bed?

_I'm gonna do it!_ I turn over and look at her just inches away from me. Her eyes are closed, but I know she is awake. My hands are sweaty and my chest is tight. This can only mean one thing... I am losing my nerve. I move my hand towards Holly's face wanting to brush the hair from her eyes, but I can't. My nerve, it's gone. _I am so scared_. _  
_

I still need to stop her from thinking bad things, so I do what I do best.

"Ni ni Hollykins" I say in a cutesy teasing tone. _That should do it._

"Motherfuck..." _I can't believe you just kicked me!_

She laughs. "Sweet dreams, Gail."


	5. Chapter 5

My heart is beating a mile a minute, as I wrench my body up straight and wipe the sweat from my forehead before quickly checking on Holly. She is sound asleep. _At least one of us is._ The last time I looked at the clock on the bedside table it was 4:15am. It's only 4:30am now. I have only managed 15 minutes of sleep, but I am afraid to close my eyes again.

Holly has been sleeping for 4 hours, and for most of that time I had lay there, listening to her breathing in and out.

I gently edge out of bed and make my way towards the door. As I open it, I hear Holly turn over. I really don't want to have to explain my sudden exit. _Please don't wake up now_.

After successfully bumping into everything in the lounge room I pick up some sweats and put them on, grab a blanket and head out the front door as I make my way down to the jetty. The air is crisp, and I take in a few deep breaths before I sit and hang my legs over the edge and look at my reflection in the water, which is glistening from the moonlight.

_Damnit_. I hear the door to the house open and close. I just know its Holly. _She is relentless!_

I need to pull myself together; I've had enough of this crap. I just want to be calm and light. I shake it off, and I decide that's what I'll be. She doesn't need to know about the crazy shit that's going on in my head.

"I wasn't snoring too was I?" Holly calls from the other end of the jetty.

"No". I say as she sits down next to me.

She grabs the blanket from my shoulders and wraps it around us both, casually as you like. Clearly she's not feeling the tension like I am. She goes into her pocket and pulls out a Kit Kat, breaks it in half and gives a piece to me. "Sweet!" I say. "It's never too early for chocolate." She nods in agreement.

I know she wants to say something. "Penny for your thoughts?" _My thoughts? You want to know my thoughts... Let see..._

I open my mouth, intending on answering with some lie, but I surprise myself at the words that come out. "I have a confession to make..." _No you don't!_

Holly turns to me and raises her eyebrows in concern. "This sounds ominous _"._

I drop my head back, close my eyes and restlessly sigh.

"What is it Gail?"

"Worrying is like your default setting isn't it, Holly?"

"Not usually, just when I'm around you."

"Well it's giving me a headache," I say coldly.

"When I see a friend in pain, or whatever you have going on here," her hands gesturing around my body, "I can't just leave it alone."

I nod, "I know."

"Just tell me Gail, I won't break, despite recent history, I'm braver than you might think, ma friend." _There's that word again. 'Friend'._

"I haven't been sleeping" I nearly interrupt her.

"I gathered, seeing that's its 4:30 in the morning and we are out sitting in the cold".

"I probably need a therapist for this shit," I admit.

"You should, it helped me." She says.

"You're in therapy?" It surprises me, she always seemed so together. _Maybe that's why._

_"_ Not exactly. Your boss offered it to me in light of what happened the other day, so I went the next morning. It really helped me realise some things."

"Like what?"

"That I can't control people's actions, or reactions. But you would know that, you're a police officer. You see all kinds of horrible shit people do everyday."

_Is she serious?_ "Holly, you examine dead people all day!"

"I know, but it's not the same. You actually have to sometimes witness with your own eyes the things that happen to these people."

I want to reassure her that's not entirely the case. "It isn't always like this, far from it really. I helped deliver a baby once!"

"No you didn't." She scoffs.

"I did! I held the ladies hand and did all that ridiculous breathing crap." I can tell Holly is impressed by the way she is looking at me. I lean my head back again, this time I look at the stars. "It was actually kind of amazing." We sit in silence for a while, Holly occasionally glancing at me. I already know she thinks I'm insane, but I like it.

"Promise me you will make an appointment?" She asks.

"I will, I promise." _I'd do anything for you._

"Anyway, I'm sick of talking about me." I want to steer any future conversation away from myself, so I ask her the first thing that pops into my head. "I never asked you how your date went the other night?" _Oh no you didn't!_

"Yeah, it was okay I guess. Though I'm not sure we really had much in common."

"Oh, why not?"

"She is a Flight Attendant or is it Air Hostess?" I laugh. I don't mean to, not that I have got anything against flight attendants, it's a perfectly fine job, but I could never really imagine Holly with one.

"Anyway, I definitely don't want to see her again, because there is someone else I have been on a few dates with that I really like." She says it so matter-of-factually.

"Oh really? Spill it, Lunchbox." I just dread the words coming out of my mouth right now.

"What's she like?" _Ugh_.

"I dunno. She's funny. Kind of sweet in weird way I guess."

"You guess? I need details, Holly." _Do I really?_

"Fine!" She says pointedly as she drops her head onto my shoulder, nuzzling into my neck. "You could say she's beautiful. Actually more like jaw-droppingly beautiful. " _Stab me in the heart why don't you._

"Wait!. No. She is so beautiful you just want to scratch your own eyes out because she is just so damn blinding."

"Okay, okay, I get it. She's 'beeeauuutiful'. You're are pretty funny you know that?"

"I know". She says very nonchalantly.

"So... Who is this 'beautiful' woman then?" I ask insistently. _Kill. Me. Now._

I feel Holly quickly take my hand in hers then rest them both in my lap. She turns my hand over and lays it on top of hers as she gently rubs her thumb against my palm. _Um, what are you doing?_

I feel her breath on my neck as she shifts her body, moving her other hand towards the ones in my lap. A tingly sensation courses through my body as her finger tip brushes over my fingers. With it she starts to trace something into my palm. _Oh, I know this game!_ She starts on the top left hand side of my palm and draws straight down, swinging it to the other side and moving it back up again, before repeating it again and again. It takes me a few seconds to figure it out.

It is a 'U'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do Kit Kat's exist in Canada?


	6. Chapter 6

_She's not tracing out any other letters, Gail. THERE ARE NO. MORE. LETTERS! Say something, Gail. SAY SOMETHING!_

Holly is still holding my hand. _This silence is torture._ Minutes are ticking by, but I can't bring myself to move or speak. I am so petrified of what is going to come out my mouth. However, I know it has to be me that breaks the silence.

I hear Holly take a deep breath in through her nose, as she tentatively raises her head from my shoulder. With her free hand she lifts my hand from my lap releasing her other hand from beneath it, then considerately places my hand back into my lap. She spins her legs around, removing herself from the blanket, and then places it back over my shoulders. Even when she is about to bolt, she is still taking care of me.

"Hol wait, fuck! Where are you going?"

"I'm going back to bed." She looks me straight in the eye, a last ditch effort to get any sort of reaction from me. Her eyes are pained, like I have just crushed her soul with my silence. _Actually, I know I have._

She turns around and I reach to grab her wrist, but I miss it. She is already too far away, walking up the jetty towards the house and out of my life forever. _Okay, that's a bit dramatic, Gail._

I jump to my feet, keeping hold of the blanket. "Holly, please stop running away." I shout.

"I'm not the one running, Gail." She calls back. _You're right._

"If you don't stop right now I'm going to jump into this lake. I may or may not know how to swim, so it will be your turn to save me."

Holly slows down before gradually coming to a stop at the end of the jetty. As I stealthily and quickly approach her, I watch her shake her head repeatedly in what only can be confusion or utter madness from my complete lack of sense of timing.

I stand behind and drop the blanket. With new found adrenaline I gently brush the hair from her neck, my fingers lightly grazing her ear. She flinches at my sudden presence. I move my hands to either shoulder and slowly slide them down her arms, her skin reacting to my touch. I stop just above her elbows and hold on for dear life. I place a kiss between her shoulder blades before dropping my forehead to rest there. I can feel the warm tears rolling down my face, and so does she. I shake my head. She's broken me, but not in a bad way. I am scared of what's to come, what the rest of the day will bring. I know I need to process this, but it can't be now.

She turns around and takes my hands in hers, my eyes still facing directly towards the ground. I can feel her gaze on me, as I watch her intertwine her fingers with mine. It makes me smile, and I know I'm ready to see her now.

I move my hands back to her arms as I watch a tear stream down her cheek. I catch it gently with my thumb, and then brush her hair from her face. "You are such a beautiful nerd."

She chokes on her tears, I'm hoping happily surprised at my chosen words. I lean into the hand on my cheek. "You are beautiful too."

Those words always make me feel weird, this time is no exception. "Should I get you some sunglasses? What was I again? Blinding?" _Nice one._ She rolls her eyes and nods, acknowledging she has lost this round. I figure there is no harm in a little teasing. That's what our whole relationship until now has thrived upon. It's why, at least for me, we became friends in the first place. She could dish it out as well as she got.

I take her hands and move them around my back, before I move my hands to her hips and pull her in closer. She is definitely making me do all the work, but I know it's because she knows it's a step I have to take for myself. My hands are sweaty and my chest is getting tight, but this time it isn't going to stop me. I remove the errant strand of hair from her eyes and slowly lean in and lightly press my lips against hers. I don't linger for long and I pull back to stare into her eyes, but they are still closed. I smirk and quickly peck again, giving her no time to reciprocate.

Now she is smirking. "Gail, what are you up to?" _I have got you where I want you._

"Payback."

She's surprised. "Payback? For what?"

"Do you recall a certain incident in a cloakroom?"

She rolls her eyes. "Yes... When you were asking me all those stupid questions?"

"And?"

"You were just so curious, it was too adorable. I couldn't resist, I had to shut you up. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure you kissed me ba..."

I forcefully grab the back of her head and pull her in, urgently crashing my lips against hers, all but making me forget how annoying she is. Her soft, warm lips taste like chocolate, as I graze her bottom lip with my tongue. I can feel her smiling against my lips, which makes me smile too. Her hands move down to my hips hitching up my top, and she hums when her fingers make contact with my skin. She lightly runs her nails up and down the sides of my rib cage, and I feel the sensation all over my body. It's the best pain ever when her nails run over my bruise. Her hands drop into mine as she breaks our kiss, and I take a step back to catch my breath. It's not long before she pulls me back in wrapping her hands around my back, tightly embracing me.

"Holly, I have another confession to make. I don't really 'do' hugs."

"Too bad, dork." She mumbles into my neck and leaves a soft kiss there.

* * *

My hands shield my eyes, the sun is too blinding for this time of morning.

"Holly? I know you like touching me, but can you stop poking me in the ass.

"Probably a stick, Gail."

I hear a cough. "Uhhum... Girls?" As I look directly above me, I see a silhouette suddenly blocking the sunlight. My eyes start to adjust and I'm pretty sure it's Traci. "Um, what are you guys doing?"

I stay silent for a moment to collect my thoughts. "What does it look like?" _Hmm, how should I play this?_

"Well it kinda looks like you guys are lying on the grass under a blanket. How long have you been out here?"

"Glad to see you use those finely honed detective skills, Nash. I couldn't sleep." I simply state.

Traci looks towards Holly, who is still lying with her eyes closed. Traci is waiting for her answer.

"Last night I heard some weird noises coming from one of the bedrooms." I deflect.

I see her scowling at me, before I feel a light kick to my shoulder. "Shut up, Gail. You did not."

Holly and I laugh, as Traci turns around and walks away. "Breakfast is ready you idiots." She calls.

I turn on my side, and prop myself up on my elbow. Holly is still lying on her back, eyes closed taking in the sun. I watch with purpose as she lightly scratches her nose. "I can hear you thinking, Gail." _You're not wrong._

Still on her back, she turns her head towards me and opens her big brown eyes. A mixture of feelings envelope my body. I shiver, and she notices giving me a warm smile. Suddenly a rush of anxiety hits me, I drop my head as I realise I never want to hurt this person, but I feel on some level it's inevitable in one way or another, it's who I am, but it's not who I want to be. I have never liked that about myself.

Holly stands up and takes the blanket from my lap, then offers me her hand. I take it, and she yanks me up quickly almost pulling me straight into her, close enough to smell her hair. We turn towards the house and she places her hand at the bottom my back, willing me to move forward with her. And I do.


	7. Chapter 7

Never has a shower been so noisy. So many thoughts are running through my brain this morning that all are fighting for prominence, but there is only one clear winner.

_That kiss._ I stand still under the showerhead to muffle all the noise. As I run my thumb over my bottom lip, I recall the sensation. Her lips. Her smell. The way her touch made my skin burn. I jolt back into reality when I hear a knock on the door. "Hurry up Gail, you're going to run out the hot water." Traci shouts.

I hop out of the shower and rub the steam from the mirror with my hand and look at myself. It's time to face the day. It's just a pity I have to do it around all these people. Do I act like nothing happened? I know I'm not ready to share this with everyone, I don't even know what 'this' is, but at the same time I know I don't want to hurt my friends feelings.

I mean, what could she possibly be expecting from me at this point? We haven't even had a chance to talk about anything. After the kissing and the hugging, we didn't really say much at all. We just lay on the ground in silence holding hands, which was nice. Even though she talks a lot, she knows when to shut up. She's good like that.

I have this feeling the coming hours are going to be incredibly weird and kind of awkward, as I know I'm going to have a hard time stopping myself stealing glances at her. They are all totally going to notice, Holly included.

I take a deep breath as I enter the lounge. Traci and Chris are sitting at the dining room table while Holly is helping Steve dish up breakfast. Traci waves me over and I sit down on an empty chair, as Steve puts a plate of food in front of them. Holly is smiling, concentrating on what she is doing. She picks up a plate and brings it over to me and she places it in front of me and walks back to the kitchen counter. I notice she has arranged my bacon in a smiley face.

"Hey, why don't we all get smiley faces?" Says Chris.

I choose to ignore him.

"So Holly, how have you been feeling? Since the shooting I mean." My brother asks.

She stops what she's doing to think about her answer. "To be honest I've struggled to process it all, actually I think I still am. Can't say I would ever get used to be being shot at. I don't know how you guys do it."

Despite her colossal meltdown the other night, which i could tell was probably out of character, I am completely envious at how easily Holly can open up like that, especially to people she has only just met. I can barely talk to my friends, or maybe that's because I don't want to _._ But I do want to talk to her.

"Luckily it doesn't happen too often, but when it does, your training kicks in and you have to trust it. You have to trust your colleagues have your back. Still it can be a mental battle, I don't think anyone could ever get used to it." Says Steve.

"That's what the shrinks are for" Traci laughs.

Holly shakes her head in disbelief. "Cops are awesome."

"Yes we are" Steve laughs and we all nod in agreement.

"Still, it helps being here, around people. Normally I would have probably locked myself self in the morgue. Your sister has been a great support." Holly turns and casually winks at me and I can't help but smile back. _You're so perty._

I feel Traci's hand land on my shoulder. "Well you've got your own personal bodyguard now. We all need one of those." she pats.

Holly's eyes are burning holes in mine, and I can't seem to look away. "I still can't believe she did that."

"That's Gail for you, full of surprises." Says Chris.

Holly drops her head as she cuts up some bread, and grins widely. "Yes she is." She chuckles. I can feel my cheeks burning, as I can tell me catching a bullet is not what she was referring to.

"Actually I am not surprised at all. It was what I was talking about Holly. Her instinct kicked in. Gail is getting all embarrassed, we should stop talking about her or she will probably be punishing us for the rest of the day." Says Steve.

"For once you are right about something, loser." I say, chewing on my bacon.

"So what are we doing today?" Traci asks.

"I thought we could go fishing. I know a great spot, we could take a picnic?" Holly replies.

"That sounds like fun." Says Chris. The others agree.

I roll my eyes and rest my head in my hands. _Oh god._

Holly's slams a 6 pack on the table. "Lighten up Gail, I have alcohol, and this has your name on it." And it literally does. 'Gail's Beer' is written in marker across the card wrapping. _What a nerd._

"Fine I'll go." I huff. I have found it never takes me long to give in to her, even when we first became friends, she's always had that hold over me. She doesn't take any of my bullshit.

I stand up and take my plate over to the sink, where Holly is rinsing some mugs, and I stand next to her and look casually out the window. "You are such a nerd, you know that?" I say to her quietly. I turn around and lean against the sink just in time to catch Steve kiss Traci, and before I have time to say something mean to them Holly moves a strand of hair from eyes and places it behind my ear. I turn my heads towards her, eyebrow raised.

"Sorry, that has been bothering me." She says, cowering back getting back to her dishes.

"Don't be, it's been blocking my view for the last 5 minutes." I smile. _Ugh, I'm such a dick._

I can feel my smile slowly fade as I begin to study her face. She isn't wearing any makeup. She doesn't have to. Her skin is perfect. So are her cheekbones. She is such a striking woman, and it's not just because of her beauty. It's her stature, confidence and athleticism. The way she carries herself. She makes me feel incredibly inferior and insecure. _But what's new?_

I feel a sudden kick to my leg. "Gail?" Holly whispers.

"Hmm" I manage to breath.

"You're staring".

It takes me a few seconds to refocus, before I realise how long I was staring. "Um, am not." _Shit!_ That awkward stare I was expecting to happen only took 10 minutes to happen.

"Right... sure Officer" she says as she leans around me to put to put some cups away into the shelf near my head. She is dangerously close, and from what I can't tell, doing it totally on purpose. She pauses for half a second it front of me; lip looks me, before returning to the front of the sink. _You're such a tease._

"If you must know, I was actually looking at that coffee mug" I say pointing to a mug on a shelf behind her. "I need coffee."

"Did you want me to make you one?" I offer.

She washes her hands and wipes them on a tea towel and leans against the sink next to me. "No, I think I'm going to go for a run, clear my head." _What the hell does that mean?_

She starts to walk towards Chris, Steve and Traci before looking back at me. "You're a total liar by the way" she smirks.

"What she lying about now?" Steve asks.

"Oh nothing. Just Gail being Gail. Would anyone like to come for a run with me?"

* * *

Traci and I sit on the porch drinking our coffee as we wait for Holly and the guys to get back from their run.

"Hey, sleepy head. You haven't really been your sarcastic self the past day, you doing okay?" Traci asks.

"Just tired." I say. I can't tell she wants to ask me more, but if past history is anything to go by, she knows not to push.

"Holly certainly has a good head on her shoulders, she seems like the type of person who deals with things head on." Traci States. _Are you trying to tell me something Traci?_ I raise my eyebrows silently in question.

"She seems to be dealing pretty well with the shooting don't you think? Especially being an outsider, not used to getting into those types of situations. I know its hard seeing your friends get hurt, and you guys have gotten pretty close." Traci says.

I scoff. "What?" Traci quickly asks.

I take a second to think of why I did that. "Well... actually she completely flipped out the day of the shooting."

"Wait, was this when you called me at the precinct for her address?" She asks. I nod. "Oh I was wondering why you sounded so weird. What happened?"

_Just be honest, it's easier._ "We were gonna grab dinner at our place, but before we got in there she just bolted, and wouldn't talk to me. Normally I wouldn't even bother going after someone who doesn't want to talk, but it was too weird." I'm only just realising that the things she said that night obviously carried a lot more weight than I originally thought.

"Well she's seems fine now, so whatever you did just have must have helped."

"Actually it was more likely the shrink she saw the next day. What's taking them so long? Do you think Chris has fallen down a ditch?" I deflect.

"Yeah, he's probably acting dead so Holly will give him mouth to mouth. He totally has a thing for her. Who wouldn't, look at her?" she says pointing, as they all come running through the gates. _What?_

I laugh. "I didn't even notice." _That won't end well_.

"Well you have been off in la la land the past day, so it doesn't surprise me." Traci states as she gets up and walks down to greet Steve.

Holly runs up the steps and flops down next to me on the two-seat sofa. "Okay, hand it over, give me the coffee, I need the coffee". She takes it from my hand.

"I can make you another" I say as I go to stand up, but she grabs my and pulls me back onto the sofa.

"What, you afraid I'll give you cooties?" She laughs.

"Yes, who knows where that mouths been. You really smell by the way."

"Thank you." She smiles sweetly. "We should take a shower, and get going."

I turn my head in surprise. "We should what now?"

"Not we" she's says pointing to me. "I mean Chris, Steve and I. No, wait that came out wrong."

I can't stop laughing. She doesn't get embarrassed often, as she seems too smart to ever put herself in those situations, but the look of horror on her face is priceless,

"Fuck! You know what I mean."


	8. Chapter 8

"I realise we could have probably just walked here, but I didn't feel like lugging all your beer." Holly says as she hops out of the car.

"Good call" I laugh. Plus, I usually like to avoid any type of exercise.

Holly's phone rings and she answers but holds her hand out to me to help me from the car. To my recollection she has always done this. Given me a hand, opened doors. She is very poised and well mannered. _God, what must she think of me?_ Being raised as a Peck I was never taught such things.

"Gail, come and help me get this stuff out of the car will you?" Chris asks. I roll my eyes. _Ugh, I hate helping. Case in point_.

A few minutes later after she has finished her phone call, Holly leans against the truck and she watches me lift some fishing equipment from the tray. I pass them to Steve who starts to walk down to the lake where Traci and Chris are setting up some chairs.

"That's ok, I don't any need help. You just stand there and look pretty," I say to her and she I pokes out her tongue. "Very mature."

She slyly smiles. "I'll take that as a compliment." _I suppose you should._

"Hey, you can see the house from here" she points across the lake. I look in that direction while I close the tray and innocently take some side steps towards her.

She suddenly grabs my arm. "Come with me".

"Hey, guys?" She shouts at Traci, Steve and Chris down by the lake. "We'll be back in 20." They wave us away.

"Where are we going?" I whine as she drags me away from the car.

"The whining? Definitely not one of your more endearing qualities." She quips.

She let's go of my arm, knowing we are probably a safe enough distance away that I'm not going to run in the opposite direction.

"What are my more "endearing qualities" then?" I sarcastically air quote. _Why am I fishing for compliments?_

I loathe compliments. Come to think of it I also hate giving them. It always feels completely unnatural to me, and I have always put that down to people thinking I'm 'that' ice queen, therefore they don't believe anything that comes out of my mouth. I mean it happened the other day with that cupcake Holly gave me. It's all my own fault of course; it's a stigma I have gotten use to and something I have never bothered to even attempt to change about myself. Actually, maybe it's all my mum's fault? _Is that a question?_

We start walking along a grave footpath not to far from the water.

"Well you..." she carefully pauses

"Is it my love of cheese puffs?" I joke.

"No, that's just gross." She says disapprovingly. I scowl at her.

"You are so random and unapologetic, but in a good way. And it's your complete lack of self-awareness. You are incredibly warm, Gail, and you don't know it." She says with a smile, watching her feet as she walks.

Her smile drops to a frown and she suddenly stops, and it takes me a few steps before I turn to see what's wrong. "I wish more people would see you the way I see you." She says it like she knows people are constantly judging me, like she knows it probably bothers me. Her look of concern for me is genuine.

"I like you Gail" she innocently admits. I smile and she starts walking again, and as she gets closer I take her hand, and slide my fingers between hers. _I like you too, a little too much_.

We turn onto a rough secluded road. It's kind of freaky. Tall trees line the edges of each side. The sun peaking through where it can, flashing in and out of my eyes.

"So... Should I be afraid for my life right now?"

"Maybe." I can't help but notice the evil glint in her eyes.

"Are you taking me to a mass grave or something? Let me guess? It's the jilted boyfriends of all the straight girls you've turned." I scoff. "You know from the moment we met I knew you were a serial killer. You want to know what gave you away?"

"I'm pretty sure I know, but go ahead, tell me."

"Your lunchbox."

"Yup thought as much," she laughs. "Fortunately for you, you don't fit the profile."

I slightly turn her towards me in confusion by pulling at her hand. _Are you trying to tell me something? "_ Whys that?" I raise my eyebrow.

She seems a little too happy with herself. "No jilted boyfriend" she smirks and playfully shoulder bumps me.

She grips my hand tighter, while we walk in silence for a while. Normally I'd welcome the silence but... "So..."

"So...?" She draws out.

"Is this what we do now? Hold hands, steal awkward glances at each other?" I ask.

"For the moment, yes."

This surprises me. "And, you are ok with this?"

"Gail we kissed like, 9 hours ago." _She's counted_. "I'm not expecting you to jump straight into a relationship with me, in fact, I'm not even sure you are even ready to have this conversation with me and I don't mind. She squeezes my hand reassuringly."

"So?" I will her on.

"So, I really enjoy spending time with you, and that's enough for me right now. I'm not going to pressure you into something you don't want. Okay? I know this is all new for you." She lightly shakes my hand. _Ugh, why is she so understanding? So bloody annoying._

_"_ First and foremost I am your friend, and I am here for you. I don't want to jeopardise that."

She suddenly starts laughing. "Well no more than I already had by telling you I liked you the last night. My bad." She winces.

I swing our arms up and down, like we are children. _"_ Its okay. If you hadn't, the tension would have probably got too much for me and I probably would have approached the subject in a must less subtle, but aggressive way. Actually, you probably would have just thrown me in the lake, instead of me just threatening to jump in myself."

"Well we may have both been a little delirious last night." I don't disagree, I was so bloody tired.

I ponder for a moment, and think of the events last night, which makes me realise something completely obvious that I want her to know.

"Oh, and Holly? I like spending time with you to."

"We are here." She pulls me off the road, through some brush to a clearing. She lets go of my hand and jumps up to sit on a huge fallen log that looks like it has been there for years. She invites me over, softly patting the spot next to her. _Why not_?

She pulls me up, with those strong muscles of hers. _I really need to do some push-ups or something. This is embarrassing._ "So what is this place?" I ask brushing the dirt from my jeans.

"I used to come here a lot as a child, with my best friend Leigh. We'd play by the water while my parents sat here and read."

"Sweet." I nod.

"Look." She shifts where she sits and swings her leg over so her legs are either side of the log. She looks down at the wood beneath us and wipes away the dirt and leaves.

"M. S + B. S" I read. "Are those your parents?"

"Grandparents" she smiles as I swing my leg over and sit opposite her.

She moves back a little revealing another engraving. M. S. + V. S.

"My parents. They died... um 28 years ago." She shakes her head. "Can't believe it's been so long. They died in a car accident."

"Drunk driver?" I ask hesitantly.

She shakes her head. "No, kids joy riding." She shrugs. "The kid driving died too."

I rub her arm. "Oh, that's awful, I'm so sorry." She gently smiles at me and returns her gaze to the marks on the log.

"Did your parents meet here?"

"No my grandparents did. Actually, at this spot." She grins, and looks around her surroundings.

"Well it is quite romantic," I admit. I am well aware I am now blushing, and so is she as she removes a twig from my hair, slightly amused at my confession.

"My grandmother had lived in this town forever. My mother always liked it here, so they came back here to raise me, and bought the house on the lake."

"How long did you live here, at this house?"

"Until I was 9 I think? My grandparents decided to move into the lake house with me after they died so not to disrupt my life too much. But my grandfather got sick a few years later, so we moved to the city. Easier access to everything you know? He died when I was 16, but my grandmother still lives in the city. I visit her most weeks. "

"Oh that's nice, I'm glad you still have someone." I say taking her hand in mine.

"Yeah, she is a sweetheart." _I think I already knew that, she raised you._

"Shit! We have been gone for ages. They probably will think I killed you."

"Well, most people want to once they spend time with me" I joke. Though a part of me believes it. She shakes her head, disappointed in my lack of self-esteem no doubt.

Holly slides down from the log and raises her hands to me lift me off. I could attempt to slide off myself, but I don't want to embarrass myself anymore without adding clumsiness to my long list of idiocentricities. She lifts me off by my hips and lowers me to the ground, but she doesn't let go, and now we are standing a little too close.

"Hi" I say coyly.

"Hi" she replies as I watch her eyes dart all about my face. I pull her in closer and she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "We don't have time for this" she laughs and loosens her grip. She takes my hand and pulls me back through the brush, but let's it go as we start running towards the road.

"You seriously aren't going to make me run all the way back are you?" I call from behind.

"It's good for you." _Not for me it isn't._

I slow to a walk as we hit the road. "I think I just got enough of an endorphin kick from whatever you just did back there, anyway I am injured remember? You should probably be carrying me."

She loops back around and runs towards me, and before I know it she grabs my legs out from under me and catches my back, lifting me up into her arms.

"Like this?"

"Um no, I just meant a piggy back." I laugh awkwardly,

"Oh" she says with an embarrassed look on her face.

"Though I'd like to see you try and carry me all the way back like this."

"Challenge accepted." _Nerd._


	9. Chapter 9

Chris downs another shot as Holly cleans his wound with antiseptic. "You will probably need a few stitches, but it's not that bad. You'll live."

Chris drops his head back on the couch and winces. "Do I have to?" He pleads. _Such a baby._

Holly passes me the bloodied gores as Traci hands Chris another shot.

"Yes, you have to" she insists in a stern motherly tone. "You can wait until morning though. I'll dress it now and you will be good to go."

She gestures towards the scissors sitting between us on the coffee table, so I hand them to her "Can't you just do them yourself?" I ask.

"I could, I don't have my lunchbox full of tools" she smirks. _Funny_.

Chris is looking rightly confused. "Well I'm leaving early tomorrow to head back to the city. I'll drop by the ER."

"Then you should probably stop doing shots" I tell him.

"Gail, Holly. Did you guys want a beer, or, we have wine?" Traci shouts from across the room.

"A red would be great, thanks," Holly says as she cuts the dressing to size.

"Beer for me."

I hear the front door open and Steve walks in holding 4 pizzas. "There better be a shitload of pepperoni on one of those," I proclaim. He flips me the bird.

"Well hello to you to." He drops the pizza on the kitchen counter and walks off.

I watch Holly do her thing as she wraps a light bandage over the dressing on Chris's calf. I like the little crinkle she gets between her eyes when she concentrates, and the way she lightly bites her bottom lip. _So cute._

"You are all done. You have been such a good boy." She grins squeezing his foot.

"Thank you Dr. Stewart." _Suck up._

I stand up as Traci walks over with our drinks, laughing. "I could totally see this coming, it's such a 'you' thing to do," she says to Chris, as she hands me my beer and I flop back on to the arm chair opposite him.

"You'd be surprised how common these sort of injuries are, lucky the hook only scrapped your leg. My ex got a hook right through the hand, it wasn't pretty." Holly says shaking her head and both Traci and Chris scrunch their faces up in disgust.

I feel a lump form in my throat just at the mention of her ex. I wonder if it's _that_ Heidi? I can't believe I am becoming that jealous girl, especially since I'm not even sure whom I'm jealous over. _So if she got a hook through her hand, Holly probably brought her here?_

Holly picks up Chris's foot and places it on a pillow and rests it on the coffee table before sitting down next to him. "So, Holly?" Chris stammers, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Traci laughs, and we roll our eyes at each other. _Oh Chris, you poor thing._

Holly turns to him smirking. "Why, you offering?" She's seems to be enjoying the attention a little too much for my liking.

"Sorry loser, she's gay." I announce. Not that it was a secret or anything.

Holly is smugly glaring at me, but her eyes are telling me I could have probably been a little more considerate towards his obvious feelings. I shrug at her. _Sorry?_

Traci turns to me and raises her eyebrows, silently asking me if it was true. I nod into my beer as I take a drink. _Yes it is._

Holly seems a little embarrassed, but I'd say it's more for Chris than herself.

"That's a pity. For me, lucky for the woman who has you, you are a lovely person." Chris says innocently. _Spew._

Holly pats him on the shoulder. "Aww, you're such a sweetheart."

"Get a room you two why don't you?" I exclaim. I am starting to think I have had a few too many beers today. _Let's go with that._

I can hear Traci giggling in her seat as I suddenly feel two sets of eyes me. I see Chris reach for the pillow under his foot, but Holly takes it from him. "Let me." I suddenly feel it on my face, while almost knocking the beer from my hand.

"Good arm" Chris says very impressed with Holly's athletic ability.

Steve walks into the lounge and sits in the chair next to me and cracks open a beer. "So, what did I miss?"

"Well Holly is gay, and I am an idiot." Chris says.

"We all knew that. The idiot thing not the gay thing." Steve says as he smiles at Holly.

"So Holly do you have a girlfriend, are you dating anyone?" Traci asks.

My head is getting sore from all the eye rolling. _What is this? 20 fucking questions?_ I am curious to know her answer though. "No, but my friends keep setting me up to torture me." She answers.

"Ha, sounds like you have that in common with Gail, though probably a bit worse for her seeing as it's her mother that chooses all her dates." Traci, unfortunately for me, reveals to her.

I can't deny it. Though Holly did know I was dating quite a bit, she didn't know it was because my mother was forcing me to. Embarrassed, I raise my beer up to salute her.

"Wait, I thought you would have people flocking to you, I mean, have you seen you?" Chris states.

"Chris, give it up already." Traci quips.

Holly chuckles. "I have always had a hard time meeting people. I am a bit of a loner, not to mention a bit of a weirdo." She laughs and everyone laughs with her. It's nice to see she gets along so well with everyone.

"Actually, these days I think it's my job that tends scare them away, or more likely the amount of time I spend at work. My work means a lot to me. Also I think I have become a lot more relaxed in trying to find someone since coming out, though not sure why that is." She admits seeming a little confused at why she said that.

"When did you come out?" Traci asks like it's not personal at all. _Geez_.

"Let's just say I was in denial quite sometime. I was 25." She smiles. _Interesting, didn't know that_.

"How old are you?" Chris asks and Steve swiftly kicks him in his good leg.

"Ha, it's okay Steve, I just turned 34." I panic a little. Shit, did I miss her birthday?

"Wait, when was your birthday?" I interrupt.

"5 weeks ago? So probably a few days before we met." _Phew_. I relax back into my seat, as the room falls silent.

"Well, Holly, I'd totally date you if I were gay." Traci says casually. They burst out laughing, Steve practically choking on his beer.

I look at Traci with my best 'are you serious?' face.

"What are you looking at? I would. I've kissed the ladies before." I see the boy's interest suddenly pique.

"Ladies, plural?" I ask.

"Well I was 16, and there was a whole spin the bottle situation going on. Haven't we all done that?"

Holly grins and takes a sip of her wine.

"No?" I reply. Was this some right of passage I missed growing up?

"Off course you didn't. Wait, no... The amount of times I have seen women hit on you in bars, even while you work, your telling me none of them have ever tried something on you?"

Do they? _Do I have some flashing sign above my head saying "lesbians, please hit on me"?_

Holly seems delighted in the fact I'm starting to squirm in my seat. Traci can tell something is up too. I can feel my face going red and try to mask it by taking a drink and I try to hide behind the bottle.

"You totally have" she insists.

I look at Steve, as I really don't want to talk about anything like this in his presence.

"If you don't tell us, I will pash Steve right now in front of you."

Before she even has a chance to get up I have to stop her. "Okay okay, no one wants to see that." I say agitated and annoyed that I am about to reveal something that I haven't yet truly processed.

"Yes, a woman kissed me once." I say and sit there in silence. Everyone is staring at me waiting for me to say something more.

"And?" Holly urges smugly. I cock my head slightly and give her the evil eye. _You're dead._

"And... I must have been talking too much. She did it to shut me up. Or to prove a point, I can't remember." _Yes you can._

"And did it shut you up?" Holly asks.

"What do you reckon?" I sharply reply, but I feel my lips slightly start to curl up at her. _Well it certainly did something._

"As much as I love hearing about my sister making out with people" Steve says sarcastically, "we should probably eat before the pizza gets too cold".

I totally agree. Anything to get me out of this situation would be awesome.


	10. Chapter 10

I walk over to Holly who is standing at the kitchen counter massaging her temples. I move her wine glass out of the way and lean on my elbows across from her. "You doing okay there, nerd?"

She takes off her glasses. "My head is bloody killing me."

"Too much wine?"

"I only had one glass. Maybe I got too much sun today?" She squints at me. I resist the urge to tease her that maybe she had been staring at me too long.

I slide around the counter and lean against it next to her. "Did you want me to get you some pain killers?"

"No, I don't like taking them if I don't have to. Maybe I should just go to bed."

I go to the kitchen sink and fill a glass with water. "Maybe you should." I slide her the glass. "Make sure you drink this."

I drop my arms flat onto the bench and lean down to rest my head on them.

She drops her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"Hmm, nothing. Just trying to decide something."

"Oh yeah? What's that?" She asks curiously.

I raise my eyes to hers and pout. "Whether or not I should sleep in your bed tonight." I bite my bottom lip.

Her initial look of shock suddenly morphs into a smirk. "Okay. Well while you decide that, I'm going to go say goodnight to those guys over there," gesturing her hands towards Traci, Chris and Steve in the lounge.

I know I'm not the easiest person to read, but I am a little annoyed at her smugness towards my current dilemma. Can I really blame her though? We have been playfully teasing each other like this all day.

I watch Holly give Chris a hug. And I think I hear the word 'sorry' come out of his mouth. Holly is touching his arm. I think she is reassuring him that it was okay that he made a complete dick of himself in front of her.

"Goodnight everyone" I hear and she turns back towards the kitchen. Her smile drops almost immediately as she presses her fingers to her eyes. I just want to give her hug, but I'm not sure I am ready to eat my own words from earlier this morning.

"So did you make a decision?" she asks grabbing the glass of water beside me. She takes a sip, while looking at me out the corner of her eye.

I lightly scrunch my face up. "Um, no I haven't." I feel guilty at my lack of conviction.

Holly finishes her glass of water and puts it down, placing both her hands on the counter. She pauses and takes an audible breath. "I'll see you in the morning, regardless of where you sleep, okay?" she smiles.

She turns away and takes a few steps before I lift myself upright. "Um Holly?"

She turns back to me. "Yes?" She says in a somewhat hopeful tone.

I walk around the counter and her eyes start to widen. I have made her nervous from my sudden movement towards her. I bring my hand up to the back of her shoulder and pull her into my chest. The smell of her hair is intoxicating. Her pointy chin digs into my shoulder as I gently rub her back with my other hand, then I release her from the hug. "I hope you feel better," I say, as I take a few steps back from her. _Nailed it!_

She walks backwards, a little rattled by my uncharacteristic PDA. "Good night, Gail," she smiles.

"Night." I pick up the bottle of wine on kitchen table and I notice Traci looking at me. I choose not to freak out about it. I smile at her and lift the bottle up to ask if she wants another drink and she nods back at me.

* * *

My hand makes it as far of the door knob before I realise it is the wrong decision. I step backwards until I hit the opposite door with my back and slowly slide down it until I reach the floor.

I take out my phone and check the time. 2:30am. _Shit!_ I lean my head back against the door and close my eyes.

The door opens, and all of a sudden I am flat on my back, and my phone slides pass my head and into the bedroom.

"Fuck me. Holly!" _Excellent choice of words for this moment._

"Well hello there. I see you have found somewhere to sleep."

"I was just..." I stammer as she drops both her hands down above my head to help me up "about to come to bed" I finish, as she pulls me up.

"Looks like it" she whispers.

She bends back down to retrieve my phone that had slid between her legs.

"It's" she pauses as she presses a button on my phone to wake it from sleep "2:30am " she points out, I can only assume surprised that it took me 3 hours to get this close to the bedroom.

I roll my eyes. "Yes, I am aware of that fact."

"Cute picture" she says as she hands me back my phone, aware that my screensaver is a picture of us that I had taken when we were at the batting cages all those weeks ago. _Yes it is_.

I look down at her body, and see she isn't wearing any bottoms. Her baggy Dr Who t-shirt is partially covering her black boyleg underwear. "Nice underwear" I snicker and she modestly tries to pull her t-shirt down, making her blush. _Ha ha._

"I was going to get a glass of water" she says all flustered, as she picks up a pair of sweatpants.

"Hey! Don't be putting on those on account of me." I cheekily grin. _Gail, what are you doing?_

She drops them back on the floor and nudges past me.

I follow her out of the bedroom as she makes her way towards the kitchen. I walk over to the sofa and flop back down to my earlier position where I had laid for the past 3 hours, beating myself up about numerous things, you know, as you do.

All the lights are off, but the moon is shining bright enough that I can see her silhouette in the kitchen. I turn my attention to my phone and away from her legs as she starts to walk into the lounge. I quickly load a game of Tetris to distract from the fact that we are both now awake, alone, and one of us isn't wearing that much clothing.

She walks up to the back of the sofa, and the smell of her moisturiser wafts over me. I close my eyes and switch off my phone. I am being stupid if I think I can just avoid her presence.

She kneels down at the back of the sofa and I hear her place her glass of water on the floor. She rests her head on the top of the back sofa cushion and dangles her long slender arms down the front of it.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask quietly as she lightly taps her hands on the cushion.

"What are you thinking about?" She replies.

I bite my tongue, so as not to curse her for answering my question with a question. "Well, I think I asked you first."

Her hands stop tapping. "No."

"No?" I question.

"Yes." She chuckles.

"Holly, you are going to give me a headache, you know that right?"

"Well then we can both be miserable together," she says rubbing her temple.

I had momentarily forgotten she had gone to bed with one, a pretty bad one in fact. "Oh, sorry, I didn't realise it was that bad."

She laughs. "It's not, I'm fine. Psych!"

I instantly swipe my at hand hers landing a slap on her wrist. "Loser! You have used up one! You'll only get three apologies from me a year."

She rubs her wrist. "Kiss it!"

"Kiss what?"

She shoves her wrist in my face. "Kiss it better!"

"Are you serious? I'm not doing that. No way!"

"Kiss it now, or I'll tip my glass of water down..."

"Fine!" I interrupt. I sit up and quickly lick her hand. Though I'm now wondering what the rest of that sentence was going to be.

She scrunches her nose and quickly wipes her hand all over the cushion. "Uh, gross!" _I know_.

I laugh then close my eyes, and we sit in a comfortable silence.

"I have made a decision," I suddenly state.

"About sleeping in my bed?"

"No. Well yes, but this is something else." I stammer. "Will you go out with me? On a date tomorrow night?" I quietly mumble.

"Gail? Do you want to open your eyes and ask me that again?" She asks sternly.

I slowly open one eye and she nudges me in the ribs with her knuckle. I open the other and turn my head to look her straight in the eyes, as I realise it's already tomorrow. "Will you then, tonight?" I ask in an annoyed tone. _She is going to leave me hanging isn't she?_

She stands up and slowly creeps over the back the couch placing her hands either side of my head on the armrest. "What are you doing?" I squirm. As a reflex, I raise my arms up in front of my chest to protect myself. She carefully places her knees either side of my waist, burrowing her legs down the sides of my thighs. "Your feet are cold," I whisper, almost choking on her hair that is hanging over me. She chuckles and I squirm some more. She tightens her knees either side of me to stop me from moving. I am amazed at her strength. _Are you really?_

She drops her head down slowly and places a kiss on my forehead. Her t-shirt is so baggy, that I can't help but catch a glimpse down her top. _I can't believe I just did that._

She removes her hands from the armrest, and slowly lowers herself down so she is straddling me. It's a strange position for me to be in, as I have never been one to relinquished control.

My hands are still awkwardly hovering above my chest, so she takes them in hers and merges our fingers together. "Do I make you nervous?" She asks and I slowly nod my head. _Very_. She warmly smiles at me.

The smile suddenly fades from her beautiful face. "Are you scared?" She asks somewhat apprehensively. _Terrified_.

"Yes." I utter softly. I nervously bite my bottom lip. I'm scared of losing control, of losing her, of losing our friendship. Scared that I'm falling in love with her... _I'm scared you'll break my heart._

She tugs at my hands, and lifts up my body to be level with hers. I grip onto her arms, as she runs her fingers softly through my hair. "Don't be," she whispers in my ear and I feel my neck pulsate with her every breath. She calms me with a single kiss, but before she can pull back too far, I pull her right back in for more.

I run my hands over cheeks. "So was that a yes then?" I ask as I brush the hair from her eyes.

She smirks at me. "What do you think?"


	11. Chapter 11 a)

I sit on the couch with my knees to my chin, the local newspaper squished between my chest and thighs and my gaze is firmly on my feet. The significance of tonight's date is weighing on my mind. It's not that I don't want it, I do, it's the fact I want it too much that's scares me. I feel Holly's eyes on me, studying me no doubt, perhaps wondering what's going on in this crazy brain of mine. I lift my chin up to check she's still there and not just a figment of my imagination.

Holly raises the hot coffee to her mouth and blows on it. She pokes me in the leg with her toe from the other end of the sofa. "You're regretting your decision now aren't you?" She asks anxiously, stroking the cup with her thumbs.

I look back down at the newspaper in my lap. "Population 2500." I can't help but roll my eyes at this statistic, as this doesn't help with my current dilemma.

"We could always wait until we get back to the city?" She says in a reassuring tone, trying to relieve me of any pressure I might be feeling.

I immediately look back at her. "No!" I say sharply then return my eyes to the paper. "I don't want to wait" _anymore_ I grumble. I see Holly smile into her coffee from the corner of my eye, suddenly relieved of any doubt she may have had that I wanted to do this.

"Well, it's official!" I smack down the paper onto the coffee table. "There is fuck all to do in this town."

She drops the cup from her lips to her lap. "Don't be ridiculous," she says shaking her head at me. "I really don't mind where you take me, I'm just glad you asked."

I slump heavily back into the sofa. "There is a reason I don't do this stuff you know," I pout.

"What's wrong with just grabbing dinner?" She asks.

"Dinner? I think you deserve more than just dinner if you are going to have to put up with my sorry ass." _Don't you get it? I'm not good enough for you._

Holly takes off her glasses and rubs the sides of hers eyes with her fingers. "Gail, please... "

"See? I'm already driving you crazy and we haven't even... I'm n..."

She leans forward and puts her finger to my lips. "Shut up!" She whispers.

"...not easy" I continue as she removes her finger.

"And I know it. I can handle you and your various neurosis." She smiles.

"My neurosis? What neurosis?" I quip.

"Don't go climbing that tree just yet, okay? Just sit on the ground and lick those paws." She says with her hand on my foot. That damn cat! I knew that analogy would come back to bite me. _That's the last time I open up to a complete stranger._

I sit up straight and take in a deep breath. "I will try harder," _I promise._

"Gail, you don't need to try harder, you're not doing anything wrong" she insists, as she slides her glasses onto the top of her head.

"No, I mean I'll try harder to find something for us to do tonight." I smirk.

"What's tonight?" Asks Steve as he walks into the room, obviously overhearing the end of our conversation.

Holly looks at me for the answer, but there is nothing. "Well according to your sister and this local newspaper," she picks up the paper from the coffee table, "fuck all." She muses. _I am such a coward._

"Oh, I see" he laughs. "Did Trace tell you guys she and I are going to visit some friends of hers this afternoon? They live not too far from here." He says from the kitchen.

"She did mention something, yes." I smile happily at the convenience of the situation, but in the back of my mind I have that nagging feeling Holly is going to hate me for being so secretive about our relationship. _Wait, is this a relationship?_

"When will you be back?" Holly asks a little too keenly. She definitely is not one who can hide her feelings, unlike me, the master concealer, queen of the permanent scowl, however she, can read me like a book. Something I kind of hate and love at the same time. _Stop worrying, she likes you, for now at least_.

"Probably not until very late. Traci hasn't seen these friends in quite a while." He says as he walks over to us. "Did you guys eat yet?" We shake our heads in unison, our toes now playfully touching.

Steve grabs my hand and pulls me over the top of the couch. "Gail, get up. We are going to the market." He drags me to towards the front door. "We're gonna make brunch for these lovely ladies."

"I didn't know Pecks could cook" Holly says, looking a little bewildered at his forceful actions.

"We can't!" he laughs as I elbow him in the stomach. He immediately retaliates by pinching me in the neck with his free hand.

"You know..." Holly drags out "seeing as you will be in town, you could take this opportunity to figure out what we can do tonight." _Pushy much?_

"Can I at least put some pants on first?" I violently shake my arm from his hand as he hunches down to catch his breath for a few seconds.

"You are letting Gail choose this evenings activities? Why would you let her do that?"

This time I go for a punch to his straight to his stomach, but he deflects my hand, spins me around, and bear hugs my arms into my chest. Shortly after, he releases his grip and pushes me forward. "Get your pants on then."

"Good idea. I probably should do that too." Holly says and makes her way towards the bedroom shaking hers head at our childishness.

"I'll be in waiting in the car, boofhead," Steve says, closing the front door behind him.

I walk into bedroom where Holly is sitting on the bed and I close the door. "Are you guys always like that with each other?" Holly asks as she pulls a sock on.

"That out there? If you had a brother you'd understand." I chuckle. "It's all in good fun." She doesn't look convinced. I feel in this moment I need to defend myself for some reason. "I don't generally go around hitting people" I say a more than a little concerned that I am being judged right now.

"Oh I know, I didn't mean... I suppose, I've never really hung around siblings before. You guys are super cute though."

"Cute?" I smirk. I playfully jump onto the bed and push her down by her shoulders. I grab her hands and pin them down beside her while climbing on top of her.

"This feels familiar" she grins licking her bottom lip.

"What? You've never fought with anyone before?" I ask.

I hear a knock at the door. "Gail, you in there?"

It's Traci. I quickly sit up, still straddling Holly, and whip my head sideways towards the bedroom door, blowing the hair out of my eyes. "Um, yeah be out in a sec, just changing" I reply, frozen, Holly wriggling underneath me.

"That's ok, can you remember to buy some milk while you are out?"

Holly chooses this time to start tickling my ribs, but I catch her wrists and pin them down again this time above her head.

"Yeah, sure." I answer, looking at Holly, just inches away from her face.

"Thanks" I hear through the door.

I climb off Holly and slide to the side of the bed. She edges backwards towards the headboard and I hand her her other sock.

"Am I acting like _that_ ashamed straight girl that everybody hates? I mean I don't feel that way at all, but I can't help but think my reactions to things are coming off that way, and I don't mean them to" I say picking at the bed covers. "It's just that..." _Why am I saying all these words?_

"Gail, I don't know where this is coming from, but I can assure you, you are definitely not acting like some ashamed straight girl." She laughs pulling on her sock.

"Why are you laughing?" I ask, strangely confused by her reaction.

"Well, I'm not sure you really know ashamed looks like. The stories I could tell you" she trails off. Another time perhaps? "Anyway, I know you. You don't do anything you don't want to do otherwise there would have been a Gail shaped hole through my door long ago." She points out. I love her sense of humor and I chuckle at the thought she has placed into my mind.

"You are just a bit nervous and unsure about your feelings, I get it, so am I. You don't want to have people judging your, don't freak out, relationship, before you even know you have one, it's the same for everyone don't you think? As for the secrecy thing? It doesn't bother me, besides its kind of hot. And don't be afraid to talk to me, okay? We tell each other stuff, right? Now hurry up and get dressed," she urges as she nudges me off the bed with her foot.

"See, it's so much easier when you explain my own feelings to me." I laugh and she winks back at me. Her ability to calm me a with a few sentences amazes me. If anyone else had done that I would have probably thrown a hissy fit, but I could listen to her talk all day. _Even if it is about my stupid feelings_.

I pick up my jeans off the floor and search for my sweater in my suitcase that is sitting on a chair nearby. "Holly, have you seen my sweater? It's a dark blue V-neck?" I say gesturing towards my neck as if she didn't know what a V-neck looks like.

She jumps off the bed and walks to her dresser and pulls out a green blazer, turns and offers it to me.

"What, no fleece?" I giggle. She cocks her head and scowls at me. "Anyway, I thought you said you wouldn't share your things with me?"

She takes a few steps closer to me urging me to take it from her. "No, if I remember correctly I was referring to you and your things. Not my style, remember?" _I remember_. I take the blazer from her hand.

"You on the other hand can pull off anything." She says as she steps and turns back towards her dresser. She looks at herself in the mirror, and glances back at me, still standing there, through the reflection of the mirror. "I have a lovely light brown paper bag if you'd prefer?"

She moves her glance back to her face and pulls her hair back into a ponytail then leans on the dresser with both hands. "Look at me, I'm a mess."

"That couldn't be further from the truth," I say walking backwards towards the bathroom. "You know someday Holly..." her eyes fix on me once again, "I am going to get you into my pants, whether you like it or not." I say with a wicked grin and close the bathroom door behind me.


	12. Chapter 11 b)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did post Chapter 11 a) 8 hours ago, so please make sure to go back and read. Cheers.

I lean over the verandah railing and I wave goodbye to Steve and Traci as they pull out of driveway. I hear Holly make her way out of the house through the wire door and she leans on the railing next to me. The smell of her moisturizer will never get old, but this time it's mixed with something a little bit different.

"Are you wearing men's deodorant?" I ask.

"Guilty, officer."

"You smell nice." _Very sexy._

From the corner of my eye, I see her lower her head and smile to herself. I turn my head towards her and she pushes herself off the railing and pulls her foot to the back of her quad. "Not for long though. You sure you don't want to come with me?" She says dropping her foot then grabbing the other.

"There is nothing in this world I'd like less" I smile. I stand up straight and take all of her in. She is all arms and legs. For someone who sits in a lab all day, she is ridiculously toned. I am a bit jealous. I kind of want to stab her and run my hands all over her at the same time.

I suddenly realise I have been ogling her for the past 10 seconds. "Besides, this will give me the perfect opportunity to pilfer through all your stuff." I try to say with a straight face.

She drops her foot and takes a step towards me, with a wry smile. I feel her little finger graze the side of my arm, as it slides down over my wrist, before it hooks with my own little finger. She gives it a little shake. "Okay, just don't go snooping in my dresser, especially at the back of the bottom left drawer." Her smile morphs into a grin, as she releases her finger from mine and walks backwards before turning and jumping down the stairs.

"I'll see you soon," she calls and takes off running.

Just the thought of exercise makes me exhausted. I lean back against the railing, close my eyes and take in a long steady breath; my lungs fill to capacity with the cool air. I haven't been this relaxed since I got here. _Now I'm alone with my thoughts, awesome!_

I walk back into the house and into the kitchen to pour myself a coffee from Holly's shiny coffee machine, where she has obviously spared no expense. I hop up onto the bench and take a sip. There is a packet of chocolate biscuits next to me, calling to me. Holly is out running being a good girl, and I am here eyeing off biscuits. _Typical_. I would feel guilty but luckily my metabolism is like a cheetah. I'm sure my insides don't appreciate it, but I shovel a third biscuit into my mouth anyway.

As I chew, I wonder if I should make good on my threat of looking through all her stuff. _Of course I am._ I would be a pretty bad police officer if I didn't, right? Who am I kidding, I am going straight to the bedroom and that bottom left drawer.

I know no one is home, but I can't help but creep quietly into the bedroom. I walk up to her dresser and place my on hand on the cool metal handle. Should I really be doing this? _She wants you to._

I slowly open the drawer, and peak in. I close it almost immediately, step back and fall backwards onto the bed. As I lie on my back, I look towards her pillow and grab her Dr Who t-shirt from underneath it. The image of the Tardis is burned into my memory of when she laid in bed next to me earlier this morning, before we went to sleep and again when we woke up.

* * *

"Are you tired?" She asks as she lies opposite me, mimicking my exact position. We lie facing each other, a hand placed on our own pillows beside our heads.

"I'm exhausted, but I don't know if I can sleep." I answer.

"How's your bruise?"

I lift up my shirt, revealing the bruise that has now traveled from around my back, and partially onto the side of my stomach. "It doesn't hurt as much, but now it's a lovely shade of yellow and green," I grin.

Holly gets out of bed, and tip toes into the bathroom. "I have something you can put on that." She calls out, shuffling through the sink cabinet, "If I can find it." Shortly after, she hops back onto the bed and places the bottle on the blanket between us.

"Can you do it, doctor?" I ask, and she nods. Any excuse for her to touch me really. "What is it exactly?"

"Arnica oil." She pops the lid and squeezes some out onto her hand. "It's a natural anti-inflammatory. A genus that is part of the Asteraceae family."

"And what prey tell is that, nerd?" I scoff.

She smirks as she lifts my shirt up a bit further and gently applies her hand to my skin. Her touch is cold, which makes the hairs on my arm stand on end.

"Sunflowers. The genus name Arnica is derived from the Greek word lamb, which relates to its soft, furry leaves."

I immediately bury my head into my pillow.

Her hand stops massaging my skin. "Did I hurt you?" She asks.

"Yes, with your words" I laugh.

I hear her snort as she lifts my shorts back a little over my hip. "Nice tat." She comments. _Shit,_ I had forgotten I had that. "I wouldn't have taken you for the tattoo type. Were you going through a rebellious stage?"

"Yes, a feather 'screams' rebellion." I say sarcastically.

"Let me guess, it means freedom, flight, your need to escape?"

I don't say anything for a few seconds as I remember the moment when I got it when I was 23. "No. Honor." I say quietly.

"Oh," she says, a little taken aback. "Well it's beautiful." She pulls my top back down. Then proceeds to kiss me on my hip, directly on my tattoo. "You are beautiful," she adds.

She pulls the bed covers up, and places the bottle on the nightstand, and switches off the lamp, before returning to our previous lying positions. "Are you ready to sleep?"

"I guess." I sigh.

"Give me your hand, and close your eyes." She asks and I hesitate.

"Gail?" She whines insistently. I quickly move my hand to her pillow and close my eyes. I feel her fingers softly graze over my hand, then land near my wrist. "There are two rows of bones here called the carpal bones, 8 to be exact. They provide strength and flexibility to your wrist." She says softly.

"Oh god..." I laugh.

"Shh!" She squeezes my hand tight, and I relax back into the bed. _I'll just let this happen then._

She applies pressure to a point above my wrist. "This one is called the Scaphoid bone, it's kind of shaped a bit like a boat."

"I'd love to sail off about now," I mumble jokingly.

"Fine! I'm stopping" she exclaims as she begins to turn over.

"No, come back here." I pull her back over and place my hand back under hers. "You can't leave me hanging when you have only told me about one of eight carpal bones." I snicker as I close my eyes again. _See, I listen_.

She quietly clears her throat. "Fine. The one to the right of that is the Lunate bone. It looks a bit like a crescent moon. Next to that is the Triquetrium."

"Let me guess, shaped like a triangle?" I mumble into my pillow.

"Very good. Now shoosh. The little round nubby one here is the Pisiform." _Ha ha, pissy._

 _"_ On the top row, we have the Trapezium, a four sided bone. Next to that, is a wedged shaped bone called the Trapezoid. In the middle is the biggest bone of your wrist, the Carpitate. Looks a bit like your big head." She jokes, squeezing my hand again. "And finally, the Hamate bone, it's a little similar to the Trapezoid, but you wouldn't remember what that looks like would you?" She asks not expecting an answer, probably hoping I fell asleep of boredom.

"Wedge" I mumble, and she kisses my hand. _Fuck, I think I love..._

* * *

I feel a vibration in my pocket and I rise from the bed. I pull out my phone and see a message from Chris.

Chris: Leg is all stitched up. Thank Holly for me. Actually, what's her phone number?

I am laughing on the inside. "Oh Chris, such a cute little puppy dog."

I check the time on my phone only to discover I have been daydreaming for about 30 minutes, and have wasted precious snooping time.

I walk back out to the lounge area and start scanning the shelves lining every wall. They are all books of course, though nothing I would have read probably. There is a mixture of science, fishing, poetry and science fiction. A few knick-knacks, a few pictures, some in frames, some wedged between book pages. I see a picture of a little boy and girl waving to the camera, and I take it off the shelf. The view is very familiar. I assume that's the friend she used to play with down by the lake. She looks so happy, so it's horrible to think how her life is probably about to change at that point in time. I glide my finger over the glass and place the frame back on the shelf.

I walk to the other side of the room. There is an upright piano covered in a velvet cloth. Next to the piano on some shelves are some LP's. I love old records. It's not often I ever get to play them, so I may as we'll take the opportunity while no one is around. It looks like someone loved musicals. Gershwin, Bernstein, Hamlisch, Berlin to name a few. I'm curious to see if they have any Cole Porter, whom I have loved since I was a child. I remember my dad used to love watching Frank Sinatra movies, and we'd watch High Society together and I'd sing along, and I'd whine about not having all of Grace Kelly's pretty dresses.

I continue to scan through the collection hoping to find something from him, and I happen to come across an LP of The Best of Cole Porter. _Perfect!_ I plug in the record player and remove the record from its sleeve, and carefully place it on the turntable. I move the position of the needle to my favourite song and turn it on.

"Fuck me!" I yell, as the scratching grates on my ears. "Let's try that again."

I feel my heart rate drop to the calming melody, and I start to hum. I never really listen to the lyrics, of songs, it's more the melodies that get stuck in my head, so maybe my need to actually listen to Holly all the time, just to keep up with her, is suddenly rubbing off. I have never really noticed how romantic this song is though.

 _My god!_ I'm turning into such a sappy loser. Just like Chris. "Jesus, get a grip, Gail."

I walk back over to the other side of the room; I look towards the drawers beneath the cabinet shelves. I start to slowly open the draws, the melody has gotten to me now, and I can't help but sing along.

"For you and I have a guardian angel on high, with nothing to lose. But to give to you and to give to me, love forever true."

 _Fuck!_ I hear the front wire door creak and I quickly step away from the drawers with my hands in the air. "I claim innocence! It wasn't me, I swear!" I yell, giggling as I turn around.

Holly is standing inside the door, barefoot, holding her running shoes. _What's with the face, Hol?_

She looks pale. As pale as she can look with her dark complexion. "Do you want a glass of water? You don't look too good." I say walking into the kitchen. I get a glass from the shelf and go to the sink.

"You were singing." She says.

"Oh, I know. Terribly out of key no doubt. Sorry, you had to hear that." I laugh as I turn off the tap.

I walk over to her, still standing at the door, not moving. She doesn't take the glass from me; I have to physically put it in her hand.

"I'm not." She says.

"You're not what?" I ask.

"Sorry I heard you." She answers.

"Hol, what's going on, did you hurt yourself?" I ask, as I pull on her arm.

I watch a tear form in her eye as she shakes her head. "No, I just had the weirdest case of déjà vu. It kind of threw me."

"You are as pale as me, it's kind of scary." I tell her.

"You were singing," she repeats.

"Yes, we covered that already," I smile, as I wipe the lone tear from her cheek.

"You don't understand," she says softly, as she tries to take a step around me.

"Then tell me," I say taking a step sideways to block her. "I won't bite."

"It's just that my mother used to sing around the house to those records. I know I was only young, but it's one of my strongest memories of her. It was just the weirdest thing walking up the steps and hearing that again."

"Sorry, I -I"

"Don't be, it was nice. Plus, you are an awesome singer, like, WOW! What the hell, Gail?"

I feel my face turn bright red and I bury my head in my hands. "Oh god, stop it." _Kill me now._

I remove my hands from my face as I notice blood streaming down Holly's ankle. "You are bleeding." I point out to her.

"Oh, yes I hurt myself." She says like it didn't happen to her.

"I just asked you if you hurt yourself and you said nothing!" I scowl.

"Well I got a bit distracted by your lovely..."

"Don't say it!" I warn, as I cover her mouth with my hand.

She removes my hand from her mouth and sits on the back of the couch. "Anyway I'm fine, my new best friend, the spiky bush thing, on the other hand, is not. And before you ask, no, I don't know the name of this particular bush, and yes, I am going to look it up on the Internet."

"Oh thank god! I think I would have probably died if I never found out the name of the 'spiky bush thing' that did this to you. Thank you."

I watch her look of interest fade in what I am saying as she realises I am teasing her.

"You are such a sarcastic asshole you know that?" She sneers and I happily shrug my shoulders in agreement.

"And you are the biggest nerd in the history of nerds." I reply.

We leer at each other, neither of us wants to break before the other, but I shake my head and start laughing and she soon follows.

"Do you want me to clean that up?" I ask, as i slowly recover from laughing and point to her foot.

"No, I am just going to take a shower." She answers.

I nod. "Well I can put a Band-Aid on it later. That's the best I can do!" I grin.

"So... What should I be wearing on our date tonight?" She asks.

"Casual, is fine. We are leaving a bit earlier. By 5, is that ok?"

"That's fine, I better go clean up then, " she says, as she hastily stands from the couch and walks towards the bedroom.

"Are you ready to find out what its like when two girls get dressed together, for a date that is?" She says as she turns back towards me.

"Are you asking me to watch you get dressed?"

"No, but I might let you do my makeup for me though." She smiles. _What are you talking about? You don't need it._


	13. Chapter 12 a)

I watch Holly in the middle of the road; her eyes concentrating hard on her feet as she carefully takes one step after the other along the white centre line. I can tell she has done this before.

"Seriously, why are we walking right now?" I ask grumpily, as I kick the gravel with my boots.

Holly lifts her head towards the sky and her mouth begins to curl, slowly it morphs into a cheeky grin. "Hmm, let's cast our minds back to 15 minutes ago shall we? You were like 'Oh hey! Holly, wassup? Do you wanna walk or drive into town?'" She says in a cocky mocking tone. _You have never said wassup in your life have you?_

"Whatever!" I say with all the hostility I can muster. "Can you please get off the road? You are making me feel very uneasy."

"We are in the country, Gail. Didn't you know? We walk in the middle of the road here. We are nearly there anyway." She says as she points ahead of us, and I see the first set of traffic lights come into view.

"Well I'd really prefer it if you didn't get dead, I kind of like you..." I pause, and contemplate whether I should add a few extra words like 'being alive'. _Nope, that'll do for now._

She slowly but surely closes the distance between us, and steps onto the side of the road to walk beside me.

"Happy?" She asks, as she links her arm with mine.

"Ecstatic!" I say with fake enthusiasm. "And if I ever ask you again whether we should walk or drive, what do you say?"

"Hmm, piggyback?" She laughs.

"You laugh now Lunchbox, but I may just take you up on that on the way home." I snort.

* * *

"I am going to figure this out you know" Holly says as she opens the door to the bookstore for me with one hand, while staring into her phone with the other.

"I don't doubt it." I laugh, as Holly almost collides with another customer exiting through the door. "Where do you want to sit?" I ask.

"Wherever you like is fine with me," she replies. She doesn't lift her head, but gestures with her free hand out into space, seemingly still engrossed in her phone. I doubt she has even noticed where she is.

"Wow, when you set your mind to something you really have to follow through don't you?" I say as she stands in the middle of no mans land, where people are stepping around her. "Holly, seriously? You have to move, now!"

I walk behind her and place my hands on her hips and shuffle her towards the window, before I push her onto the cushioned seat side of the table.

She moves her glasses from her nose to the top of her head. "What does this look like to you?" She asks me as I remove my sweater. Well actually her sweater, I never took it off. She holds out her phone in front of my face as I sit down opposite her. "Do you think it looks spiky enough?" She adds.

"You know I wasn't out running with you this afternoon don't you? I have no idea what it looks like." I tell her.

She opens her eyes wide at me, and moves the phone closer to my face, insistent on me taking a proper look. "Fine." I take the phone from her and look at it. "Well this particular plant looks green, does that help?" I say rolling my eyes, and I slide the phone back to her across the table.

"This is stupid," she laughs.

"You're tellin' me?" I quip, and I glare with displeasure at her current lack of focus.

She does a double take when she notices me staring coldly at her. "Okay, okay, I guess my quest to find what plant assaulted me this afternoon will have to wait until later."

"Or tomorrow," I add under my breath, and she warmly smiles at me.

I watch Holly place her phone into her pocket, then take a hair elastic from her wrist. She watches me watch her as she ties her hair up into a roughly looped ponytail. It's seems to take little to no effort for her to look gorgeous. _Your face is so annoying._

"There was no coffee or cake a year and a half ago when I was last here," she says as she finally takes in her surroundings. "Or tables and chairs for that matter," she adds as she adjusts the cushion beneath her.

"They also have Tapas and a liquor license on a Friday night." I say as I look at the wine menu.

"Hmm, lucky us," she winks at me. "You know I used to work here during the summer holidays when I was a teenager. My grandmother and I used to come back here when we could, more so after my grandfather died.

"I did know that actually. You must have been in your element here," I say, as I turn my nose up at all the books.

"Wait, you did? H -how?" She stutters.

"Sweetheart," I hear from behind me, and we are suddenly interrupted by an elderly voice that Holly immediately recognises.

Holly's eyes pop in surprise. "Margaret!" Holly stands up takes two steps and bends down to give the lady a hug. "It's been way too long. This place looks amazing by the way." Holly says beaming. "Gail, this is Margaret, she used to be my boss, and she is one of my grandmothers best friends. Her and her husband own this bookstore." She turns to me with her arm around Margaret's shoulder. Holly looks like an amazon compared to this woman.

"It's nice to see you again ma'am." I say.

"You too sweetheart, but remember, call me Margaret, ma'am makes me sound like an old lady, but it's nice to see some people still have manners these days." She chuckles.

"Gail is a police officer, Margaret, formality seems to come naturally to her. Wait, you two have already met?" Holly asks, brow furrowed?

"Yes, I met your lovely girlfriend, Gail, this morning dear." Margaret answers. _Don't freak out._

I see a look of panic set in on Holly's face. I'm not sure whether she is panicking for herself or if she thought that I would be worried about being called her girlfriend. _I'm kinda okay with this._

"Oh, Gail isn't m..."

"Yes, we bonded this morning over how deaf we have become because of your incessant talking," I say, purposefully cutting her off mid sentence. Holly's panic stricken face turns to confusion, as she opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out. _Gail for the win!_

_"_ Oh I like this one dear, much better than the last girl you brought by." Margaret chuckles.

We both watch as Holly slowly closes her eyes together tightly, her face begins to turn red. She is obviously wishing herself away from this conversation.

Margaret pats Holly on her back, and hands me the Tapas menu. "I'll leave you girls to it. I will be back personally, to take your order." She smiles.

Holly slumps down into her chair, face still flushed. "So that's Margaret," she says with a nervous laugh.

"Yes, and apparently I am better than the last one" I smirk as I take a sip of water.

"Oh, this is mortifying," she says as she crashes her face into her folded arms that are now resting on the table.

"Well then, I better not mention anything about your ex-boyfriend who is probably working down the street right now at the hotel bar." I laugh. "Who we are totally going to go and spy on later." I snicker as I put down my glass.

"Jesus! Since when do you talk to strangers?" She mumbles into the table.

"I talked to you didn't I?" I quip, as I recall the first day I met her and how for some reason I uncharacteristically spilled my guts to her.

She gradually raises her head, and slides her arms out from under her and reaches for my hands across the table. She finds both and squeezes gently. "You 'bout done there champ?" She whispers. _Most likely not._

I somewhat flinch at the sensation of her warm hands in mine, not enough for her to notice, but her touch starts to give me tingles all over my body. I've never known such a simple gesture could do this to me, and every single time too. I watch her thumbs run circles across the top of my palms. I can't form words, but I manage let out a very awkward grunt.

"So I see you found my it," she says as she moves her thumb down to my wrist. "I knew your curiosity would get the better of you," she devilishly smirks, and releases my other hand.

With my now free hand I start to fiddle with the plastic charms on my bracelet. I remember back to a few hours ago when Holly was taking a shower after her run and I had snuck into the bedroom and went back into her bottom left drawer. This time I had actually looked properly inside and found a silver chain bracelet with little two little plastic skull charms on it. It was obviously cheap, a quick buy, but it was so me, that I decided to put it on then and there, regardless whether it was for me or not, though I'm pretty sure it was. _We share things, right?_

"I actually had it in my purse for a couple of weeks, I just never got around to giving it to you. It's no big deal; I just saw it and I thought of you. I know it's bit tacky, but you are always wearing that skull ring, so I thought, why not? I know it's silly. You don't have to wear it... I..."

I put my elbow on the table, and rest my chin on my hand as I smile through my fingers at her adorable rambling. "Holly! Shut up!" I interrupt insistently and squeeze her hand. _This will never get old._

"Ill stop talking now," she cowers, shaking her head as she laughs at herself.

"I like the bracelet and I am going to wear it, okay?" I say, still amused, but hope to get the message across quickly to save her anymore unnecessary mortification. "I actually have something for you too, you will just have to wait until we get back to the house." I say cavalierly with a smirk, and I observe her pupils dilate. _Get you head out of the gutter, okay?_

"So girls, are you ready to order" I hear Margaret say as she approaches from behind me. I notice Holly surreptitiously glance at ours hands and try to release hers from my grasp, but I don't let her. Instead I squeeze it tighter, and she does the same in response.

"I am going to make this easy for you Margaret, we will have one of everything." I say imperviously, and she raises her eyebrows.

"Don't worry, she can eat" Holly attests, as she refers to my not so very healthy appetite. _Gee thanks._

"And a bottle of your house white thanks" I say as I remove my hand from Holly's.

As I let the blood flow back to my fingers, I pass Margaret the wine list, and she places her hand on my shoulder, and whispers in my ear. I look at Holly watching us, dumbfounded, and I grin back her.

"What the hell was that about?" Holly questions as Margaret walks away.

"You." I say.

* * *

_Black Books Coffee House_ it reads. I back peddle as I look into the shop window. _Mmm, cake!_

I walk in and go straight to the counter and look at the delicious goodies beneath it, thinking I could perhaps buy something for dessert for tonight. I wish their smell would somehow disguise that of the dusty books. _How could anyone work here?_

_"_ Can I help you sweetheart?" I hear the old lady say from across the counter, or practically beneath it because she is so short.

"Yes, I am probably going to buy a lot of cake." I say _. Decisions decisions._

I realise this lady might be able to help me, and this point I am pretty desperate for ideas. "I don't suppose you know of a good place to eat dinner in this town do you?" I ask, as my eyes look past her head to a board full of photos behind her.

"Well my dear we actually have a Tapas menu here on Friday nights, as well as a liquor license."

"Hmm wine and books, can't go wrong with that," I mumble.

"Excuse me, dear?"

"Oh, I was just talking to myself" I blush, as my eyes continue to look at the photos behind her. I could swear I see Holly _._ The lady turns to see what I am looking at, as I have rudely yet to look her properly in the eye while speaking. She looks back at me.

"Sorry ma'am, but is that Holly Stewart in that photo?" I ask, squinting.

"Yes, it is, dear. Do you know her?"

"Ah, yes, I'm her gi..." I pause as I realise what I'm about to say. "Best friend. I'm staying with her at her house, by the lake?" I divulge. _Whoops_.

"Well I hope she drops by before she leaves again. That girl is always running a mile a minute!" _Don't I know it!_

"Well now I am thinking of bringing her here tonight." I say without a second thought and I continue to look curiously at the photo.

"Holly was about... 16 here, I'd say. Beautiful isn't she?" She asks and I nod my head in total agreement. "And that is me, and that is her boyfriend, Pete," she points out.

"Ha!" I exclaim and the lady laughs and leans closer to the counter.

"Don't tell her this, but he came back here about a year ago, and now works down at the local Hotel, as a barman." She whispers, quietly laughing. "Oh, I miss her, such a sweet girl. I was actually thinking about her the a few months ago in fact, I found one of her favourite books she used to read as a child. She was here a lot. I'll show it to you." _Oh, okay and there she goes._

I look back at the photo while I wait. I am so going to tease her about this. _I told her she'd be sorry._

"Here it is. The Ugly Duckling" She says, interrupting my current chain of thought. "I never sold it as she liked it so much. It's a special edition. The illustrations are hand painted, you see? Kind of a beautiful reflection of her personal journey don't you think?"

There is obviously some stuff that I don't know about Holly yet, but if I remember correctly this book isn't just about cute ducklings playing in a pond. I pick up the book and turn it over. "Is it for sale, now?" I ask. I scowl, as my heart sinks when I see the sticker priced $900. _For a children's book? Seriously?_

She takes it from my hands and peels the sticker off. "For you dear, it's $50. My name is Margaret by the way." She says warmly.

"And I am Gail. Thank you." _I'll take it._


	14. Chapter 12 b)

Holly rubs her forehead with a half clenched fist as she sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, and gradually slides her front teeth over it until it pops back out. She loudly taps her fingers against the table and takes in a staggered breath as she pushes her piece across the board.

"Interesting move there, Lunchbox. And you say you've played chess before?" I tease. This is finally something I can win at.

"Are you trying to psych me out?" She says as she takes a sip of wine.

"I don't need to, it seems you are already doing that yourself." I laugh.

"I know what I'm doing," she assures me.

"Sure you do. You see that there?" I point out. "That there is called a Bad Bishop."

"A Bad Bishop? You really are insane." She laughs throwing her head back ever so slightly.

"No, I am just really good at chess. You have blocked your bishop in with your pawns." I say as she leans in closer to the board and I point to her offending pawns.

She slumps back into her seat with a wry smile plastered across her face. "Officer Gail Peck, master chess player. Who would have thought?" she says as she circles the rim of her wine glass with her finger. "So why is it exactly that you are so good at chess?" She questions in disbelief.

I let out an audible sigh. "That would be my mothers doing. One of many ways she has been brainwashing me since I was a child." I admit.

"By developing your prefrontal cortex?" She quips, and takes another sip of wine. _Smart-ass._

"You know what?" I pause. "I don't know if I want to talk about this right now."

"What? Why?" She's asks looking completely puzzled at my sudden 180.

"I have the gift of foresight," I state resolutely.

I watch the lines slowly appear on her forehead as she raises her eyebrows at me. "Foresight?"

_Ugh._ "Because I know how this conversation is going to end. You are going to end up reeling me in once again. It's getting old don't you think? _What, you can't read minds by now?_

"I don't care, I want to get to know you. You can trust me." She insists.

"I do trust you." I say without hesitation.

"Then continue, please. Really, I don't mind. You are not going to scare me off. That ship has long since sailed my friend." I can tell by her apparent eagerness she isn't going to let this go. _Just give in_.

"So? You were saying? You, mother, chess, brainwashing. Go." She says, as she forcibly waves her hand towards me. I look back down at the chessboard and start to contemplate my next move and my next sentence.

"Ok, so from about age 8 to 13, she made me play every night. Drilling me with rules. Telling me to concentrate when I couldn't concentrate anymore, making me replay moves that were obvious to her, but not to me."

"Maybe it was her way of spending time with you?" She states with hesitance. _I could only hope.  
_

"I'm sure that's how she rationalised it, but I don't think so. She never made it feel like that, well to me anyway, I cant speak for Steve. It was never just a game to her" I pause. "I never really had much time to do anything I liked. And if I did, I had to do it in secret, I think in some ways I still do." I divulge. I realise my last sentence probably doesn't sound that great in context of the current situation we are in together.

"I guess you could say she built me from the ground up. I am one of her emotionless Super Solders. Actually, more like a failed experiment, and the only way to save me now is to find me a husband." I painfully laugh because I know it's true.

"You're joking right?" She asks with a coarse voice. The look on her face is numbing.

I drop my head, "I don't really know anymore," I reveal as I pick up my Queen and move it. "Checkmate." I raise my head and watch her eyes burn holes into my soul. "Quite the catch aren't I?" I chuckle. I can only manage a weak smirk at this point.

She rests both her arms on the table and takes a deep breath, before biting the corner of her bottom lip, like she always does when she is about to say or do something.

"Go on, just say it already, Lunchbox." I urge. _I know you want to._

She gently smiles at me and holds out her hand over the table, willing me to take it. I really don't want to. This conversation has rather quickly become a bit too serious for my liking. If I don't take her hand, I am not sure I want, or can, deal with her reaction to any sort of rejection, however small it may be. _Fuck it._ I place my hand in hers and hold my breath.

"I will only say this once. Man, woman, whatever happens? You are. You are a catch. And I will never tell you otherwise. I know that there is so much more to you than what you freely put out there for everyone to see. I know, I've seen it. Your brother has too. You may play it sometimes, but you are not a victim, Gail, " she says and casually releases her grip from my hand like it was nothing.

"How was that?" She asks. "See? Not too painful," she quips somewhat lightening the mood, and I let out the breath I was holding.

I shrug my shoulders. "Meh. I think you could have done better," I kid.

Holly clears the chessboard and places a king in the middle of it. "This is you," she points.

"And this" she pauses, gathering all the pawns and four castles, one by one places them around the king in a square, a castle on each corner, "is the wall you put up" she continues. She then places the knight on the outside of the wall in front of her.

"And who is that?" I ask, as I become increasingly aware of my ever-increasing vulnerable state.

"Whomever you want or need it to be." She conveys without any pressure, or suggestion that it is herself.

She holds the king in place with two fingers then knocks down the pawn between it and the knight.

"It only takes one, Gail." She says soothingly and looks me straight in the eye.

"But what if I need help?" I say into my wine glass.

"Then you ask for it," she declares, and she picks up the knight and begins knocking down the remaining pawns with it.

"I don't want to be like this you know." I softly admit.

"I know." She reflects, with a quiet understanding.

* * *

"That guy took your V card?" _I know I am so childish. "_ Well he is very cute. He growed up gooood." I draw out laughing. "Much different from his picture on the photo board," I remark as we both peer though the window of the bar door.

"His picture? What picture?" Holly asks confused.

"The photo board at Black Books." I confirm.

"There's a photo board?" she asks. _Wow, slow much?_

"Yes we walked straight passed it, near the counter on the way in and out?" I say as I turn my face to her. _What are you blind?_

"Well maybe I was a little distracted because I was staring at you." She giggles into the window.

"On the way out maybe, on the way in you were too busy eye fucking plants on your phone."

"Oh my god, don't be crass." She laughs and steps away from me in disgust.

"Well we have to go in there and have a drink." I say as I pull on her arm and reach for the door handle.

"No we soooo don't." She says and pulls me back immediately in defiance.

"But I have to scope out the competition." I whine as I pull away from her arm and go back to window. _The competition? Jesus!_

"You totally win that competition. No seriously, I can't, I broke his heart." She says laughing and I hear her take a step backwards.

"Oh god, what did you do to the poor guy? Apart from the obvious." I ask as I turn around.

She squints her eyes at me and puts her hands in her jean pockets. "I cut and run. I was secretly in love with his sister." She declares as she scrunches her face in embarrassment.

I cover my mouth with my hand. "Oh no!" I mumble through my fingers.

"Oh yes." She nods.

"But you came out when you were like 25, right?"

"I know. I was a very confused and depressed teenager. Took me a while to work through stuff. Do you want to go sit somewhere? It's not too cold yet." She deflects. "We could sit by the lake somewhere?"

* * *

We lie on our backs on the picnic table in the local park and look at the night sky. Holly points at the shooting stars as I listen to the buzzing of the closest park light.

"You know if we had driven tonight we totally could have parked somewhere." I joke. _Or am I?_

Even though I'm not looking at her I can still feel her smile. "I'm not really that type of girl, Gail."

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I sit up to read the message. "It's Traci. They definitely won't be back before midnight. Very early morning most likely," I say and I put my phone back in my pocket. The thought of being alone with Holly for most of the night surprisingly doesn't scare me as much as I thought it would, but then again we haven't got back to the house yet, so who knows how I will feel then.

I look back up at the sky as Holly sits up. I can hear her fumbling for something in her pocket. I suddenly feel her lips on my cheek and a flash of light in my eyes. "What on earth are you doing?" I ask.

She looks at her phone and at the picture she has just taken. "I needed photographic proof that I once went out with a hot blonde. For the grandkids you know?" She giggles. _Yeah sure, how adorable._

"Gimme that" I flap as I yank the phone from her hands. "There is no composition here. The lighting is dreadful. You have startled your subject, and look, your finger is partially over lens." I lecture and she laughs at her obvious ineptness. "Deleted!"

"You are so weird" she chuckles.

"The flash is unflattering, so turn it off. There is enough light from the moon and park light. Try again," I say as I hand her back her phone.

"Who are you? Annie Leibovitz?" She says as she resets the camera on her phone then holds it out in front of us. _What a dork._

"Your finger is over the lens again" I snigger. I grab her wrist and pull it down a little. "Hold it here, or our heads will be chopped off."

"You are so bossy, Officer." She says flirtatiously.

"Shut up! Okay, you ready? I'm going to count you down. Three." I'm totally going to pull a silly face. "Two." No I'm not. "One".

I can feel the permeating heat from her face on mine as she moves closer to my cheek. I turn my head towards her right before she is about to close her eyes and purse her lips. I fully intend to catch her kiss, but she stops abruptly and looks at me. This look is different to the ones I have seen from her before. Her bottom lip slightly quivers. She is nervous, vulnerable, and maybe even a bit afraid of me, of us. All the things I had been feeling up until this point, I can see now see written across her face. Our lips aren't even touching, but I can feel them all over my body, taunting me. "Where did you come from?" I whisper and I tentatively edge my lips closer to hers and place my hands on the sides of her face, as I hear the click of her camera phone. She briefly smiles into my eyes, then my lips, and I know I can't hold out any longer. Her warm soft lips linger on mine as she drops her phone and firmly grasp my arms. My hands cradle her jaw, before they slide down around the back of her neck pulling her impossibly closer as she deepens the kiss. She tastes of longing, of necessity, as she breathes life into me with every wanting breath, filling my lungs with the still night air. I somehow manage to pull my lips away from hers and they throb as she fleetingly applies a kiss to the side of my jaw.

"Holy fuck" I mumble as I try collect my breath.

"Took you long enough" she whispers and she grins that crooked grin that I have gradually come to love so much.


	15. Chapter 13

Our walk home was in comfortable silence. She had dragged me into the middle of the road with her, and I didn't object, as I just wanted to be close to her. In our silence we would share the occasional flirtatious hip or shoulder bump. But in a few more steps this would all be over, so my feelings at the moment are a bit of a mixed bag. There is relief that our date is finally over. And maybe, just maybe, I can now unclench every muscle in my body. The tension had disappeared after we started drinking but as we left the bookstore and walked out into the street, it was immediately back, to the point where I felt my leg start to cramp.

I feel a little apprehensive about walking through that front door. I am not sure what I'm expecting to happen, let alone what she might expect from me. I really don't want to have to run off and hide in the bathroom. Not to mention the butterflies that are wreaking havoc inside my chest and stomach. I don't think I have had them this bad since I was nineteen, and my first boyfriend had felt me up in the back of his car on our second date.

As Holly waits at the bottom of the steps for me, her eyes glued to the front door, I can only wonder if she is having similar feelings. She smiles that gentle smile as she turns towards me. _Mmm, butterflies, lots of butterflies._ "You made it. No piggyback needed."

"If I had remembered about half a K ago, maybe I would have made you," I huff.

"Well, I could always carry you these last few steps," she says as she leans against the railing post, with one hand on her hip. _What and over the threshold?_

I walk past her and stop on the first step. "I think I'll be fine," I say as I feel her hand slip into mine and squeeze gently. I lead her up the steps to the front door and she releases my hand and starts looking for her keys in her jeans pockets, and I place my elbow on top of her shoulder, and wait. She can't seem to find them, so she pats herself down as if she was wearing a jacket.

"Try you're back pocket, I saw you put them there when we left the house," I say as I recall the moment earlier when I had just happened to be checking out her ass in her jeans. I shake my head to try and get rid of the mental image that flashes before my eyes and she chuckles as she reaches around to her butt for her keys. Funny how these things happen. I'm still trying to pinpoint when I became so attracted to her, a woman. _She's a woman!_

"Observant aren't you," she says as she opens the wire door. I hold it open as she unlocks the front door. I go to follow her in but she stops and quickly spins around making me nearly head-but her in the chest but I manage to step back just in time.

"What are we doing?" I ask.

She drops her head towards the ground with a weird grin on her face and nervously kicks her feet against the doormat. "You know," she pauses and anxiously brushes the hair out of her eyes and flicks it behind her ears. "I would ask you to come in, but I have got some people staying with me tonight, so..."

"Cute." _Fine, I'll play._

"That's okay, I don't sleep with people on the first date anyway." Not entirely true, but in this case, I'm pretty sure it is. _I can't believe I just brought this up._

"Just the last couple of nights then?" She asks as she raises her head.

"Minor detail, though not what I meant," I say as I lean my hands against the doorframe.

"I know what you meant, Gail," she says softly with a half smirk. _Change the subject._

"As much as I like standing here with you freezing my tits off, _don't say tits_ , I should probably get going. Thank you for the lovely company this evening. I'll see you around, nerd." I lean in and lightly kiss her on her cheek and I linger a little longer than someone normally would in this situation. I step away from her and turn to walk down the steps. It's not even half a step before she grabs my arm and pulls me back through the door.

"My god, It's hot in here!" I exclaim, as I pull my sweater back from my chest to let some air in.

"I turned the heat on before we left, must have turned it up too much" she says as she walks over to the central heating switch.

"No shit," I mumble under my breath.

I stand in the middle of the room and shove my hands in my pockets and kick off my boots, and I gracelessly lose my balance. My first thought is to head straight for the cake I bought this morning that is sitting in the fridge. No better time than the present to eat my feelings, right?

I feel a pair of eyes on me from across the room, and I look up in time to see Holly start to approach me slowly with a pleased look on her face. _What is she up to?_ My blood starts to pump faster; I can hear my pulse inside my head. I feel my hands start to sweat, so I remove them from my pockets and nervously wipe them down the sides of my pants, then casually place them on my hips so not to seem so obviously uncomfortable. _Fat chance._

"It is really hot in here" she reaffirms, only ten steps away from me. I nod and take a deep breath in through my nose. She can read me better than anyone, she knows what's going on in my head, and I think she is about to milk this for all it's worth. "I think I should take my sweater off," she says, now only a few steps away from me and I release the air from my lungs.

"Okay..." I say unsurely in a very weak tone, as she stops an inch away from me and tugs lightly at the bottom of my sweater.

"MY sweater," she reiterates as she slightly edges it up over my hips. _Oh, I see what you are doing._

"Arms up" she smiles and I slowly oblige. She gradually pulls the sweater up towards my chest and I can feel her knuckles graze, I assume purposely, along the sides of my body and I try my best not to react. I can be quite ticklish. She doesn't break eye contact except for when she pulls it over my head.

"You are having way too much fun here. Turned up the heat by accident did we? Very cunning. Thirty seconds inside and you are already undressing me, must be some sort of nerd record," I joke.

"Well, you looked a bit flustered," she says taking a step back, her eyes still firmly on mine. She agonisingly slowly lifts her own sweater up. As her face disappears behind the fabric, I look down and watch her top underneath hike up above her belly button, but it reveals something I just can't un-see. _What the fuck was that?_ I quickly glance up to make sure I catch her eyes again as she pulls her sweater over her head. I don't want to give her even the slightest satisfaction of knowing I was inspecting her body. _I'm a cop, I can do that, right?_

"If I wasn't flustered then, I certainly am now, you big tease" I say biting my lip. _There must be flames coming out of my head right now_.

"Payback for all the embarrassment you caused me in front of Margaret tonight." _Is this how it's gonna work then?_

She steps away and throws both sweaters onto the couch. "Would you like a coffee?" she asks as she gently rubs the side of my arm. _Her little game seems to be over._

"Mmm, I'd love one." I need something to calm these nerves.

"Why don't you put some music on since you already seem to know your way around the system" she smirks.

I watch her as she walks towards the kitchen and kicks off her shoes, successfully into a pile beside the fridge. _That's how it's done._

"Gail, music?" she says as I slowly start to notice she had turned around. _Why is it always me who gets caught staring?_

As I walk over to the records I remember back to the book store when Margaret had whispered something in my ear. She had said, "When you are not looking, she can't take her eyes off of you." I mean at the time, even though I was grinning at Holly's look of confusion, I was thinking why the fuck is this lady whispering in my ear telling me things that I should already know. I have always been a pretty perceptive person, I notice things, it's my job, but I seem to have blinders on where Holly is concerned.

"So what's the deal with the piano?" I ask as I pull out a random record and put it on the turntable. _Dance party! To the sounds of Rosemary Clooney? No thanks._ I decide to turn the radio on instead, so I switch it on and turn the volume down.

"It's my grandmothers. She was a concert pianist back in the day," Holly calls from the kitchen.

I sit down on the piano stool and run my fingers over the dusty velvet cloth. "Do you play too?" I ask.

She hesitates as she walks to the edge of the kitchen. "Ah, yes, I do."

"Do you play well?"

"You could say that, but I have a crippling phobia of playing in front of anybody." _Sounds familiar._

"So you gonna play something for me?" I ask as I walk over to her in the kitchen.

"I said crippling phobia. Crippling. So that would be a no," she chuckles and I poke my tongue out at her. "You going to sing for me?" she asks.

"Maybe if I were drunk and we were at a karaoke bar," I say as I lean over the kitchen island. "If she was a concert pianist where's the big piano, you know the one with the thing that holds the other thing up so you can see all the stuff inside?" _Eloquent, Gail._

She laughs at me. "That would be the grand piano, and it's in my apartment. There is quite a large open space so it fits quite nicely. You will have to come over for dinner sometime soon and see it," she says. _Come over and see your piano, right... good one._

"Maybe I will," I say nonchalantly as I stand up and release my hair from its ponytail. "Though only if you play me something."

"We'll see. If the day ever comes," she says as she places two coffee mugs on the bench. _If?_

_"_ But there will be no cheesy duets, okay?" I laugh a _s_ I walk over to the fridge in search of my cake.

"Hungry again?" she asks.

"Holly, I'm always hungry."

"So I've noticed," she scoffs.

"I bought cake. One of two things I achieved this morning in town."

"Nice, what was the second thing?" she asks.

"You'll just have to wait and see," I smile from behind the fridge door.

"Oh, I see. So what kind of cake did you get?"

I take the box from the fridge and put it on the island. "Err, one is Black Forest and the other is... something fruity. Or maybe it's nutty."

"Maybe you're the one who's nutty," she says leaning over my shoulder.

"You are lucky I don't hit girls" I joke.

"No, you just..." she says as she stops herself abruptly from finishing that sentence.

"I just what?" I ask as I turn around quickly and face her.

"Nothing! I said nothing, doesn't matter" she laughs.

I scowl at her and blow the hair out of my eyes as step closer to her, and she backs away from me in equal measure. "I just what?" I repeat and she sucks in her bottom lip as her back hits the bench.

"Kiss them," she quietly says, through her staggered breath. _Oh really?_ I place my hands either side of her on the bench and I slowly move in closer so my body is almost pressed against hers. I smirk as I raise my hand up towards her face, not breaking eye contact, as I tease my fingers across her cheek, and then stretch my arm out to reach for the plates in the cupboard behind her head. I look at her lips as I lift the plates down from the shelf and then I push off the bench with my other hand. _Two can play at this game._

"You smell nice," she states as I back away slowly.

"Oh really? It's called "no chance in hell", you heard of it?" I smirk and turn back toward the island.

"No, but I am becoming very familiar with the scent," she says as I feel a hand slide up my back and onto my shoulder. I feel a warm kiss on the back of my neck, and her thumb follows, as she brushes it over the same spot and I accidentally drop the plates quite loudly onto the bench. _What the hell are you doing to me?_

She smells nice too, seeing as she has to mask the stench from work, she always does but I'm not about to tell her so, as I have already done that once today, and that's already one time too many.

"Why don't I grab us some spoons?" she softly says in my ear. _You do that._


	16. Chapter 14

"Holly, everything okay?"

"No, yeah, fine. Its just work," she says as her fingers tap away on at her phone. I am not sure if I really believe her. She didn't look me in eye when she answered, like she usually would if I was concerned with her well-being.

Holly puts her phone down on the coffee table. She has been dodging texts for the last few hours, which I didn't give a second thought about at the time. She had said they were nothing, and I had believed her, maybe it was the wine at dinner that clouded my judgement. But she is now staring intensely at her phone, not saying a word.

"Hey nerd," I say from the other end of the couch. "Did you get that Dr Who t-shirt at a comic convention?"

She rolls her eyes back and shakes her head. "No, I haven't had the pleasure of that experience."

"I have worked those events. You'd fit right in." I quip.

"Let me guess, you hate my t-shirt?"

"As far as geeky shirts go, I guess it looks alright on you."

"Be careful Gail, if you keep going like this you are going to become a pro at giving compliments. Your colleagues won't know what hit them when you get back."

"I know, every time I hear it coming out of my mouth I just want to throw up," I say as I stick my finger in my mouth and make my best spew face.

Holly giggles and sinks into the couch and rests her feet on the coffee table and I can't help but notice her odd socks. "Well I'm glad I changed out of my clothes before we ate that cake," she says as she rubs her belly. "Look! Look how fat my belly is?" She says as she puffs out her stomach, and strokes it some more. "I will have to run it off tomorrow."

"You not one of those people are you?" I groan.

"No, I just said it because I knew it would annoy you," she answers. _Funny._

"You do do a good fake pregnant belly though," I say and I wince as I realise I have basically just given her another compliment, however weirdly strange it was. "I just did it again, didn't I?"

She smiles and silently mouths "yep" as she nods, her chin hitting her chest. "You are on fire tonight. I should probably catch up, so I can make you even more uncomfortable."

"Like I could even stop you," I snark.

"You are right, you can't, just like you can't stop the compliments from pouring out of your mouth," she snarks back and pokes her tongue out at me.

She takes her feet off the table and edges back up the sofa and crosses her legs underneath herself, to face me. "We are going to play a game."

My ears pique. "Video game?"

"Do you see a console laying around? No. Face me," she demands, as she leans way over and lifts my legs up, spinning me around on the couch. "Now, all you have to do is sit still and look at me."

"That's it? Too easy." I say as I feel my face start to burn, I have basically been doing that all day anyway.

"You think so now. I am going to give you compliments, and you are going to sit there and take them. Only you aren't allowed to react. Smile, scowl, move, roll your eyes, etcetera, or you will lose.

"What the hell do I get if I win this game?"

"You get to choose the next game, and make me squirm."

"That's hardly winning, as you didn't win anything for you to choose this game."

"Fine! You can choose the next game regardless, and punish me for losing however you want." _That's a weird request. Though it would be fun._

"And if you win this game?"

"Hmm. The pleasure I get when I compliment you is enough, and you knowing that will be your punishment." She laughs.

"There is something really wrong with you, you know that?" I say and she ignores me.

"So I will give you ten compliments, and one free pass."

"One?" I say as I scratch my head.

"Yes, only one. Come on, this shouldn't be that hard; your default expression is deadpan. You ready?"

I take a deep breath and nod. "Actually, can you not lean forward so much, it's a little intimidating" I laugh and she sits back. "Okay, I'm ready. Oh and lay off the cheesiness."

"It's my game, I'll do what I want, so here we go. One. You have a good gate when you run." _Seriously? Hmm, I bet she is just warming up. "_ Two. You give me butterflies whenever I am around you." _That's new, usually its 'you give me a headache'._ "Three. Your icy stares are my favourite, as it gives me a clearer view of your soulful blue eyes." _It's fine; at least she is not swimming in them._ "Actually, I remember when I first met you at that crime scene and you were..."

I hold my hand out in a stop signal in front of my face. "Wait up! You can't do that! Compliments are short. You can't just crap on like that. This totally doesn't count as a reaction by the way.

"Fine! Four. If you were a bone, you would be a femur." _Whatever, I am a bone. Wait, oh, the strongest bone. I suppose that's nice. "_ Five. When I think about your pretty face, you make me run into spiky bush things." _I won't smile. I won't. Stop it! "_ Six. You are courageous. Maybe too much." _And there's her stop-throwing-yourself-in-front-of-bullets face. Fair enough, not a fan either. "_ Seven. You listen." _Huh? What you say? LOL_. "Eight. You are more fun than bubble wrap." _OMG! That's precious; I almost want to break just to give you some hope of winning._ "Nine. You are a better kisser than all my previously girlfriends." _Well duh? "_ Ten. You deserve all these compliments."

Holly leans forward and squints her eyes at me. "Pretty sure you smiled on the last one. Shit! I underestimated you. I totally should have laid more cheese on there. Were you even listening or were you playing some shooter game in your head?"

"According to number seven. I listen. You can't pull this kind of stuff on a Peck," I state with a cheeky smile.

"Fine, I will have to add excellent memory to that list as well. So what's my punishment? This is going to be bad isn't it?

"Yes, this shit is about to get very uncomfortable and embarrassing for you," I laugh.

I edge towards her end of the couch so our knees touch. "You know that bracelet you gave me?"

"You mean this one?" She says as picks up my hand and moves the chain around my wrist. "I vaguely recall it, yes," she chuckles. "You not going to play some Jedi mind trick on me are you?"

I lick my lips and I lean over and leave a wet kiss on her lips. "Just shut up and close your eyes," I tell her and she does almost immediately. She either likes being told what to do or I have found her achilles heal _. Noted_.

"Kissing me isn't exactly punishment, you know."

"Ssshhh!" I remove my hand from hers and place it on her stomach. "That's not a baby, just cake. Are you planning on exorcising a demon or something?" she laughs. _My god, do you ever just shut up?_

"And what's this?" I say as I lift her t-shirt up slightly, and graze my finger over the silver ring piecing in her belly button.

She immediately throws her hands over her already closed eyes, and it takes all my will power not to laugh at her.

"You weren't meant to see that." _Obviously_. "You're freaking out aren't you? I would," she says violently shaking her head.

"No you are freaking out. I'm fine; it's actually quite sweet. And what if I had attempted to get into your pants tonight?"

"I would have stopped you. She mumbles through her hands."

"Just because of a little skull charm on your belly button ring?" I ask.

"No exactly, you dork! Because we are not ready to take that step yet, we don't even know what we mean to each other."

I pull her hands away from her face and she still has her eyes closes. "Open your eyes, nerd."

"Nope. Are you staring at me?" She asks.

"Of course not, I never stare at you," I cackle.

"Liar."

* * *

I lift my feet up to rest on the coffee table next to Holly's as she knocks her feet together like Dorothy. The fact she is wearing odd socks is still quite amusing to me. One striped pink and grey, and one green. How could she get it so wrong?

"Are you colour blind as well?" I ask.

She instantly smiles, as she knows what I'm referring to because her feet stop knocking together.

"No, I'm just kooky like that. You should see my sock drawer," she quips. "It's a beautiful colourful mess."

I turn towards her. "You are quite 'special'," I emphasise with air quotes and she glares at me. "Why don't you take it as a compliment," I smile and I slump back into the sofa and into the uncomfortable silence.

"This is weird isn't it?" she blurts, and I audibly chuff. "Well it is! I feel like a couple of teenagers who just got caught making out by their parents."

"No parents here," I say looking around the room.

She turns her head to look at me, "No kissing either." _The night is still young. "_ So why are you being weird? I know why I am," she asks.

"I -I... Have you ever been good friends with someone first, then it eventually became more?" _Crap, where am I going with this?_

"A few times, yes."

"Are you still friends now?"

She closes one eye and scrunches her face. 'Hmm."

"Thought as much," I mumble.

"Is that something you are worrying about?"

"Considering I don't really have any friends, yes, it is playing on my mind a bit," I admit.

She nudges my foot with hers. "What are you talking about, you have friends. What about the guys at work?"

"They are more like dysfunctional family. The ones I can tolerate anyway. I don't confide in them, like you are supposed to with friends... Or so I've read." I laugh as she plays footsies with me.

"But you confided in your boyfriends. Chris and Nick?"

"No, not really, I don't think I ever really built any kind of trust with them. Don't get me wrong, I love Chris, but yeah, never felt safe with them," I admit. _I said 'love'; I suppose that's fair._

"So what are you saying?" she asks.

"What I am trying to say is that since we met I formed more of an emotional bond with you than anyone, past or present. I feel like I have more to lose here. See, you are a likeable person, so if tomorrow this all went terribly wrong, losing a friend doesn't matter so much to you. Let's face it; I make a terrible first impression.

She grimaces. "I wouldn't say that, no one likes losing friends, Gail, and no one is saying you will," she says shaking her head. "And I thought this was going to be about me being a girl." She scoffs.

"You're a girl? Shit! I hadn't noticed. Not right now it isn't. Nope, I'm just your typical emotionally scarred, scared, scorned, angry, grouchy, snarky, cold, insecure, sociopathic girl."

"Insane, don't forget insane" she laughs. "Well I think that girl sounds amazing."

"Now who's insane," I gibe. "I just remembered I have something for you, stay there," and I jump up and over her legs and jog out of the room. _I have really got to stop running in front of her or she will get ideas._

"It's a belated birthday present," I yell from the bedroom. I grab the wrapped book from my suitcase and make my way out to the lounge. I just wanted to chuck it in a brown paper bag, but Margaret had insisted on wrapping it with all the bells and whistles. _Fucking string everywhere._

"You really shouldn't have" she says as I drop it in her lap, and I flop down right next to her and put my arm across the back of the sofa behind her.

"And why were you acting weird?" I ask as she starts to tear the wrapping off.

"Not including our previous conversation? Oh, I was... Um, screwed, I'm totally screwed. Actually wait, you are totally screwed! This is the book!"

"Yeah, a book. Sorry, no vomit inducing inscriptions that I know you love so much," I quip. "Wait, why am I screwed exactly?"

She runs her hands over the cover of the book. I tug lightly on her hair as I look at her face and her expression. _I don't know what the fuck that expression is._

I suddenly feel her hand take mine and place it on top of the book under hers. "Because I can never ever just be your friend."

"Oh." _Yup, so screwed._


	17. Chapter 15

"Because I can never, ever, just be your friend."

"Oh." _Yup, so screwed._

* * *

"Gail?"

So five weeks ago this tall, athletic brunette with a weird-ass lunchbox strolls into my crime scene, mouths some stuff about dirt, bugs and medical what-not, makes me feel like a total idiot, but still manages to grab my complete attention. Now I find myself sitting next to her, hand in hand, nursing a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, a feeling I have had before. It was only 6 days ago, the night she had run away from me and I had shown up at her apartment. She basically told me she couldn't handle being around me, and the frightened look in her eyes, and the way her voice trembled broke my heart. Deep, deep down, I just wanted to hold her, touch her, in any way I could, just like I do now. Even then she had already started to peel back my layers. You see... I'm like an onion... _Oh fuck! What's with me and the metaphors all of a sudden_! I'm pretty sure within the next few minutes I will be throwing myself at her and probably groping her like some horny fifteen-year-old boy.

Everything sounds muffled. My eyes are blurry, but I can just make out Holly's hand waving in front of my face. "Gail? Gail!" she shouts.

I come to, and snap my head up towards her, "Mmm?"

I follow her hand with my eyes as she places it on my shoulder. "You totally zoned out for like 20 seconds."

"I did? I did." I repeat in agreement.

"Yeah, and you mumbled something or other about '6 days ago?'" She mentions curiously.

"Sorry," I say as I stand up, taking the book with me, and I stare intently at the cover as I remember back to half a minute ago when she was saying those words to me. _Must be some book._

"So you obviously heard what I said?" she asks.

I lift the book up to my chin and look down at her on the couch, and watch the remnants of her smile slowly fade. "Yes, I heard you," I say with a smile, as I try to reassure her I'm not about to bolt out of the room. "I -I just want..." _to_ _say something._

She pushes her glasses from her nose to the top of her head. "Do you want a glass of water? I'll get us some water," she asks as she edges off the couch and stands up to walk to the kitchen.

"No, I don't want a glass of water, nerd," I spout as I catch her hand and pull her back towards me. She looks at me with a somewhat strained kindness in her eyes as she strokes my arm with her other hand. She knows what's coming, how could she not? Anyone would be blind or kinda stupid not to see it.

"I just want you," I say, as I feel my hand start to tremble between her fingers.

"You just want me to what?" she asks with a straight face. _Seriously?_ After a few seconds I watch her lips start to cheekily curl at the edges.

"You are so mean," I say and I feel my brow start to clench as I glare into her eyes.

"And there it is, those eyes" she says as she steps right up into me and slides her hand up from my arm to the back of my neck and pulls my head forward. I immediately shake my hand from hers and push her back with my forearm to her chest. _Not so fast, nerd._

"You know, I was going to let you kiss me, but now I don't think you deserve these lips," I say and step away holding the book in front of my mouth.

"You think that little book you are holding between us, is going to somehow protect you from me," she says as she edges closer to me again.

"That "little book" cost nine hundred dollars," I say, and her eyes widen in shock. _Oh, shit! Reign it in, you sound crazy_! "Minus eight hundred and fifty" I grin as I step backwards bumping into the side table beside the sofa. _Motherfu_...

"Margaret?" She asks, and I nod. _She made me! LOL._

"Yes, and now I think it deserves to be at the bottom of the lake," I blurt out and hastily take off for the front door. I hear her jump over the sofa, and knowing her, she probably did it in one swift move because she has already got a hold of the back of my hoody with both hands. She spins me around by the waist and forcibly pushes me up against the door with her hips. "Some people would call that assaulting a police officer".

"Are you some people?" she asks, and I nod automatically. "Then arrest me officer," she says huskily as she takes the book from my hand. "Just kiss me you idiot!" she tells me as her deep brown eyes watch me with an almost threatening intensity, to the point where I think she is angry with me. I watch her chest rise up and down quickly, and I place my hand over her heart and she flinches at my sudden touch. It's racing quicker than mine is that's for sure as feel her heart pulsate through her chest and into my fingers. She places her hand over mine, and then tightens her grip around it. She bites her bottom lip in anticipation, and my mouth goes dry as I watch her slowly move my hand down over her t-shirt. Her mouth suddenly covers mine as our hands slide down further and over her breast. Although slow, this kiss isn't soft and gentle like before, it tastes of desperation. She breathes heavily into my mouth as she moves my hand back up to caress her breast, and she quietly hums, and I feel the vibrations in and around my mouth. She removes her hand from mine, and then wraps both arms around the back of my neck, with the book still in one hand. I break the kiss as I push off the door with my shoulder blades and I look into her eyes. I smile at her as I move my hands down to her waist, then up under her shirt and I slide my hands all over her back. Her skin feels like it's on fire, making my hands sweat with the radiant heat. As we start to move to the center of the room and back towards the living area, I find my hands have a mind of their own as they move down the back of her shorts, and she cheekily smiles at me when they find the top of her ass. "A bit handsy are we, Officer" she smirks. I don't give her the satisfaction of a reply or my token icy glare she seems to like so much, instead I move arms back up and around to the back of her shoulders and I jump up and wrap my legs around her waist. We stumble backwards as my mouth finds hers again and she blindly tries to put the book on the side table next to the sofa.

"Just chuck it on the floor" I say into her lips and then I proceed to place gentle short kisses on and around her lips.

"I'm not about to throw a nine hundred dollar book onto the floor" she says through her teeth as we hit the back of the sofa. She turns her head away from me and rightly places the book on the side table. My thigh muscles are about to give out on me, but thankfully she notices and moves her hands to the bottom of my thighs and lifts me up properly as she sits on the back of the sofa and I relax onto her lap with my legs still wrapped around her. I remove her glasses from the top of her head and carefully toss them to the side table. I look back at her and she is warmly smiling at me. I've never seen someone so intensely look me in the eye, like she is peering into my soul. It gives me Goosebumps. She brushes the wisps of hair out of my eyes and touches my cheeks with her thumbs as she studies my face. I place my hands on the top of her shoulders as I wait, and she runs her thumbs over my bottom lip. "Thank you for the book. Second best belated birthday present ever," she says now combing her fingers softly through my hair.

"You're welcome," I say as I chastely kiss her on the lips, then her jaw, then her neck. "So what was the first best belated birthday present?" I mumble into her neck.

"The day I met you of course," she says so surely and I sit straight up.

"You are such a cheeseball," I laugh, and she unzips my hoody, peels it off my shoulders and then throws it on to the floor, leaving me in my thin white tank top. _Feeling a little exposed here._

"You love it'" she says as she rolls backwards over the sofa taking me with her. She somehow manages to flip me over on our way down, as she lands on top of me. I move my arm up to rest it under my head against the sofas armrest. She props herself up by an elbow beside my head, turning her body sideways as she slots herself down beside me against the back of the sofa. She runs her fingers from my collarbone down the side my body, and then flattens her hand out when she reaches the top of my sweatpants and softly slides her hand over my ass and thigh. "You really are so beautiful," she says as she runs her hand back up and under my tank top to my shoulder blades. _You seriously have to stop saying that already._

I turn over on my side to face her, and she pulls me in closer with her hand on my back and kisses me with intensified purpose and I completely surrender to her.

* * *

"I need to throw some water on my face" Holly says as I watch readjust her t-shirt and walk out of the room. I fall backwards in a heap onto the barker lounger and pull the leaver. I stretch out my legs and catch my breath for a few moments, and revel in the fact that I basically just felt up Holly. _Totally weird and amazing._

I hear her phone buzz on the coffee table and I look at my watch and it reads 12:30am. My curiosity is going to get the better of me as I see the notification light up her phones screen, so I am going to do what any normal person would do. I stand up and lean over the table and read the message notification that is sitting there, plain as day, for everyone to see. _If you don't want people to see it, don't leave it lying around._

"Ok, Monday morning. Just get it over with already, Stewart." I read, and the screen turns black before I have a chance to see who it's from. I step back over the footrest and lay back down in the chair, when I hear a door close. I grab the book from the side table as Holly walks into the living room, as she ties her hair up into a ponytail. She switches the main light off and walks over to the piano and turns on a lamp sitting on top of it.

"I just heard your phone buzz again," I say as I point to it on the coffee table.

"That's the last time I allow my interns to contact me night or day" she whines as she picks up the phone and reads the message.

"Things must be falling apart over there," I say as I watch her for a reaction, but there isn't one. She puts her phone down and walks over to me.

"Any room for me?" she grins and I sit up and shift sideways a bit. She climbs on and slides down next to me and she nestles her head against my chest. She lays one of her legs over mine on the leg rest as I watch her get comfortable. For the very first time I open up the book. _The Ugly Duckling._ I hadn't even bothered to do so when Margaret handed it to me in the bookstore, I just plunged right in and bought it. "Are you going to read to me," she asks in a hopeful tone.

"No. I think I am going to draw the line at sitting in half darkness, cuddling on a lounge made for one, with your hand up my top." I say and she suddenly stops moving her hand around my bare stomach.

"I'm starting to learn that I can pretty much persuade you to do anything, Officer Peck," she quips as she starts run her fingers round in circles around my belly button. _You're not entirely wrong there._

"You okay there, flinchy?" she asks and I look down at my belly button. "The light tickling sensation you are feeling right now is a result of the analysis of two areas of your brain. The somatosensory cortex is analysing the pressure of my touch and then the signals sent from those sensory receptors in your skin, pass through the anterior cingulated cortex which then result in those pleasant feelings you are getting," she states, and I close the book shut. _Oh, Lunchbox!_

"I'm going to be able to fill out entire crossword puzzles before long," I laugh and put the book down on the floor beside me. I feel Holly's body tighten its grip around me and her hand snakes it's way up my shirt and her fingers land on the bottom of my sternum.

"Home today" she mumbles into my chest. _Argh, nooooo!_

"Are you working today? Wait, what day is it?" I ask as I look at my watch.

"It's Saturday, and yes, I start in the afternoon. Then I will be working all Sunday to catch up on everything the interns have stuffed up while I have been away," she sighs. "But it seems I am rostered off on Monday so that's something. What about you?" she asks.

"I still have a few more days off. One of the perks of being shot at," I joke and I feel her wince through her entire body. "I am working a half shift Monday, from 4am til midday. Maybe we could hang out in the afternoon?"

"Would love to but I am visiting my grandmother in the afternoon, and I usually stay over so, how about breakfast Tuesday?"

"Works for me." I say and I wrap my arm around her back and with my hand coming to rest near her neck.

"Don't let me fall asleep," she mumbles into my chest, "or Steve and Traci may be in for a bit of a shock," she laughs and kisses my chest.

"You just kissed my boob you know."

"I know, closest thing to my lips," she giggles. _Cheeky bugger._


	18. Chapter 16

Thirty minutes ago when I was woken up by unforeseen circumstances, I was feeling a little scared and a bit mortified. But now, it doesn't quite compare. _I can't believe they let children read this!_

I drop the book down between my thigh and the armrest and I brush Holly's hair away from her face as I try to refocus my eyes from the strain of reading in low light. _Holly must have only been looking at the drawings. Yes, that's what she did, looked at the drawings._

I had never read 'The Ugly Duckling' before now, but I knew of the story. So now I am even more concerned than I already was, about what Margaret could have meant when she told me that the story reflected Holly's "personal journey", as she so innocently put it. I find it a little odd that a child's favourite work of fiction could turn out to reflect their eventual reality. _Ugh, so horrible in this case. Why couldn't the story have been about puppies and kittens?_

Holly had glazed over the fact at dinner earlier that she was a very unhappy and depressed teenager, and now having read the story, I need to know how this all ties together. I feel like I am missing something important that most likely shaped her life in someway, making her become the awesome person she is today; a force to be reckoned with, an intellect and unwavering integrity you just want to throw your show at. A weirdo.

I realise there are a lot of different versions of this story, but the thought that this particular book having ever reflected Holly's, I'm assuming, own life challenges, makes me feel physically ill. The fact she would have ever possibly felt they way the duckling did, leaves me with a heavy heart. _I really hope I am reading too much into this._ There is no way that some parts if this story could have ever mirrored her life. Firstly, the duckling was ostracised from his family, so he ran away and left them behind. From the way she talked about her grandparents there is no way this could have ever happened. Secondly...

I lose my train of thought when I notice Holly stir. She nestles her face and purrs into my chest as she slowly wakes from what had seemed like a very deep sleep.

"Now, who's a cat?" I whisper. "Be careful with that paw, you are dangerously close to my..." _Scratching pole? No, don't say that._

"I am so sorry," she interrupts as she removes her hand from under the edge of my pants and sits up looking a bit embarrassed and confused. _If she only knew..._ "How long was I out?" she asks as she yawns and adorably stretches her arms out like a child.

"About two hours."

"And you have been sitting here the whole time?" She asks as she strokes my hair and cheek.

"No, I woke up about thirty minutes ago," I state. _You could tell her why, you coward._ "I was reading your book."

She peels her legs off of me and stands up, "I think it's time for bed," she says as she offers me a hand. I take her hand and she pulls me up and slowly and leads me towards the hallway, and stops between the bedroom doors. "You should probably go back to your own bed tonight," she says and my heart drops into my stomach, "seeing as Chris isn't here, might look a bit weird us bunking together with a spare room in the house"

"We were just sleeping though," I say in mild protest.

"I know," she smiles, "but still..."

"Okay then, night," I shrug, as I release her middle finger from my grip.

"Gail, is everything okay? You seem a bit, I dunno... weird." _Not entirely unusual._

"I'm fine," I assure her as I open the door and back into the room. _Yeah right! Banging my head against this door is looking so good about now_. I watch her stand in the hallway with a perplexed look on her face as I slowly close the door. I turn into the room and fall back against the door as I wait to hear Holly open hers.

The moon is shining brightly through the windows, filling the room with a blue haze. _It's never like this in the city._ I wander over to the window and lean my forehead against the glass, and place my hands on the windowsill. As I take a heavy breath, I watch the cold glass fog up then slowly fade away. I stand up straight and kick off my sweat pants and they slide across the bedroom floor. I pull my bra off clumsily through an armhole of my tank top and casually throw it over my head.

"It seems I'm a bit like a cat too"

I turn around quickly as one hand catches the windowsill, the other hand lands on my chest, and I feel my heart suddenly jump from my chest. "Fuck me, Holly." _Why do I keep saying that?_

_"_ You know if you keep saying that, I am going to start getting ideas _"_ she smiles _._

"Holly, what are you doing?" I ask bluntly.

"Sorry, I probably should have made myself known to you after you started to take your pants off," she says.

"And what about before I took my pants off?" I say as I notice she is holding my bra. _Did she catch that? Of course she did, she's Holly._

The room goes quiet, as she looks at the bra in her hands, then places it on the dresser. "I'm sorry, I was going to say something, but then I forgot when I saw you," she says as she raises her head up to meet my eyes. "Even if you are a bit blurry." _What am I supposed to say to that?_

I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed, away from her. I fall backwards across the covers and close my eyes as I start to think of the events of my night with her. So many wonderful thoughts.

"Gail, what's wrong?"

* * *

I breathe in deeply and smile as I remember the dream I was interrupted from a few moments ago, a welcome change from the past nights sleep. I hear the rattle of the front door knob, and all too quickly the sound of shoes shuffling along the wooden floor. I go to move but I can't, there is a brunette laying half on top of me. _Oh yeah... Shit! We fell asleep!_ Her hair is strewn across my chest and her hand has partially made its way under the edge of my pants. So many thoughts are banging around my head right now, but I can't get past the fact I am about to get busted by my one and only brother with Holly's hand down my pants. Well not entirely down my pants... I mean enough down my pants that I can't stop thinking about her hand being down my pants. Pants! Pants! Pants! _Okay, I am pretty sure I am going to have a stroke right about now._

It's too late to move, as Holly is completely out to the world. If I jump up now it's only going to make her disorientated, which could draw so much more unwanted attention to us. If I lay still perhaps they won't even notice us? From this angle I'm sure they can only see the top of my head, and not the leggy brunette wedged in beside me, right? _Yeah, sure Gail... What? Are you fucking crazy? Of course they are going to see you! Why is this happening to me? I'm good people. Sort of._

I hear the sound of a key drop and it rings through my ears like Chloe's annoying voice. My heart starts to pound like stampede of elephants. If that alone doesn't wake Holly, I'd be very surprised.

"Shhh, the girls are probably in bed asleep" I hear Steve whisper as they fumble and giggle towards they kitchen. "Traci, let's get you to bed." _Ew, gross!_ I keep forgetting that this is the first time Traci and Steve have really spent any time together.

"Wait, is that Gail on the sofa? Should we wake her?" I hear Traci whisper. _Oh no!_

"Not unless you want your balls ripped off," he replies. _Thank you brother, and for the lovely mental image, not!_

"Well I'll turn the radio off. Can you get us a glass of water?" she asks Steve. _Don't_ _you dare come over here!_

My muscles tighten as I watch Traci walk past the sofa and over to the radio. _I really wish I could pull my tank top back down right about now. Damn you, Holly!_ I close my eyes in anticipation of when she inevitably turns around and sees Holly sprawled across me like some dead stripper. _Say, what?_ All I can do now is pretend to be asleep and hope Holly doesn't wake up. The alternative, _ugh_ I don't want to even think about. _This all looks totally innocent, right?_

"Psst, Steve" Traci whispers, and I hear his footsteps make their way across the room. _This_ _is happening._

"Told you" I hear him say. _Wait, huh?_

"I can't believe you called it. How did you...?"

"You'd have to blind or pretty stupid not to have noticed," Steve grunts. _Hey! Didn't I say that?_

"Ow!" he quietly shrieks, at what I can only assume is Traci assaulting him in someway, "but seriously though, they have been looking at each other like love sick teenagers for the past two days. I can't believe you didn't see it?" _Do they realise they are talking? Out loud!?_

"I suppose she has been a lot less snarky these past few days, but I chalked that up to a mix of alcohol and painkillers?" Traci pauses, "though I did see her hug Holly the other night, which I thought was a little out of character for our Gail, which now, come to think of it, was totally sweet and warm. You are right; she's got it bad." _Seriously_ , _why are you guys still talking? People are sleeping here._

"She looks happy," Steve sighs in relief.

"Do you think Gail is in love her?" Traci asks. _Oh Christ!_

"I don't know, why don't you wake her and ask her yourself," Steve chuckles.

"Could you imagine the carnage? No, lets go to bed before she wakes up and rips both our respective balls off." Traci quips. _Am I really that bad? Yes, you are. "_ If she wants to tell us, she will tell us. Could be completely innocent you know... Even if Holly's hand is down her pants." Traci giggles. _Yup, mortified_.

* * *

I scramble to the head of the bed, and hop under the covers as Holly stands in the middle of the room like a sitting duck waiting to be shot.

"Come sit with me for a bit?" I ask nervously.

She walks over to the bed, and lies down on top of the covers and faces me. She blankly stares at me and I do the same. "Do you remember that time when you saved me from a bullet?" she asks and I smile at her attempt to break the ice. She places her hand on my arm that is lying beside my head. "Thank you," she says as she runs her thumb up and down my forearm. "Where did you get this scar," she pauses, as she runs her fingers over my elbow and half way down my arm. "It looks relatively new, within the past 8 months?" she asks as she looks back into my eyes. _How can she see that?_

"I was having a bad day," I surprisingly admit, and Holly's expression turns to her default setting. _Well that doesn't sound good._ "A bad month, well months really." _And that sounds better, fool?_

"Gail?"

"I may have accidentally put my hand through a mirror." I say and she scrunches her face up at me. "What? I was having a bad hair day." I giggle, though from the expression on her face she doesn't find it very amusing, and it's not I guess.

"This won't be a very nice bedtime story," I say.

"I only want to hear it, if you want to tell it. You don't have to, I'll understand."

"Again, not a very nice bedtime story," I repeat as I take her hand from my arm and hold it tightly in both hands. _Maybe if I tell her my horrible story, she will tell me hers. Tit for tat?_ "You know, for best friends," I smile, "we really don't know that much about each other."

"Doesn't mean it isn't true," she replies, and she leans over and kisses my hand.

"Where were you working twelve months ago?" I ask, and her look of worry turns to confusion.

"I was working at the city morgue on the other side of town, why?" She asks. _Ok, so she may not of heard about this._

I take a deep breath, and she raises her eyebrows at me. "I was kidnapped about a year ago," I blurt out sharply. _Smooth_.

She closes her eyes and shifts closer to me, and readjusts her position on her pillow. "And..." she says as she opens her eyes. _Okay..._

"I was staying with Andy at the time, and after coming home from an undercover job, a man attacked me inside her apartment. I tried to fight him off but he injected me with something and then, nothing."

"Did he hurt you?" she asks biting her lip. I can tell right now she is trying to put on a brave face for me, as she takes it all in.

"He beat me up pretty bad during the struggle, yes."

"And what, he cut you here?" She asks as she grazes her fingers over the scar again.

"Actually no, I really did put my hand through a mirror, though no one knows that," I sadly admit.

"Gail..." She sympathetically moans and holds my hand to her chest.

"Anyway, I woke up strapped to a table in a basement, but it wasn't long before he injected me again"

Even in the moonlight I can see the blood draining from her face. She looks like she is going to vomit. _Shit! I want happy Holly back_.

"Let's just say I got out and that was that. I'm safe. I'm here. All is well."

"I think I heard about this. You were found in the trunk of a car, right?" She says and I nod. "But that's not all of it, there was another officer wasn't there? And they...?"

"Died? Yes, saving me," I say as I try and hold back tears. _I am not going to cry again._

"And what's worse is..." I pause.

"It gets worse?" she asks, rolling her eyes.

"Unfortunately yes. It was actually a detective, his name was Jerry, and... he and Traci were about to get married."

"Fuck me sideways," she exclaims, and I cover her mouth with my hand. _I conveniently failed to tell you that Traci and Steve are back._

"Holly! That mouth of yours! I think you have been spending a little too much time with me." _Time well spent, for me anyway._

"I'm so sorry there are just no other words for it."

"I've never really spoken to anyone about this outside of my, then, therapist. Emphasis on 'then'. I don't go to therapy anymore, I'm fine, it's all good," I assure her, and it's true. I don't tend to think about it much anymore. I don't see Perek's face every second of the day. There are no nightmares; daydreams, cold sweats or panic attacks in the shower. I don't see his face behind me in the mirror anymore. _I smashed the shit out of that._

"Except for when you go see a therapist in the next few days like you promised me. I can't believe I made you relive this again," she says shaking her head.

"I wanted to tell you...wait, when did I promise that exactly?" I say, as I draw a blank.

"The other night, on the jetty. Right before you attacked my face with your lips."

"Oh right..." I draw out as I lean in to kiss her, but she pulls back.

"Gail..." she whines.

"Fine fine, therapy, yes, done."

"Promise me something else?" she asks.

"Only if you kiss me," I say. _Lamest request ever._

"That can be arranged," she grins. "Come for a run with me in the morning?"


	19. Chapter 17

"Nice get up, Gail... what, are you going for a run or something?" Traci laughs at my attire and the sound cuts right through me. _Oh crap_. My first instinct is to jump down that big black hole to avoid the impending embarrassment of looking her in the eyes, but then again, if I go down that hole, Holly won't be there with me, which seems like a much scarier thought. I close the bedroom door and step into the hallway where she is standing holding her toiletry bag.

"I am actually" I say contently as I slowly walk over to Holly's door. _If this conversation doesn't kill me, this run certainly will._

"Oh really? I was totally joking." She laughs.

"Never underestimate a Peck!" I quip as I knock on Holly's door, but there is no answer.

Traci nods her head, "something I am becoming more aware of each and everyday," she slyly smirks. _I am going to choose to ignore that insinuation._

I knock again, or rather lightly bang, this time with two open palms. "What, is she still asleep or something?" Traci asks.

"I don't know Trace, do I look like I have X-ray vision?"

"Wouldn't put it past those steely eyes of yours. I have always wondered why you are always squinting," she says as she mimics me, almost looking cross-eyed in the process. "Maybe we should go in and jump on the bed and wake her up? Do you think she would care?"

"Sure! I think any 34 year old grown woman would love that," I sarcastically joke. "After you" I say as I step away from Holly's bedroom door.

"Fine." Traci drops her toiletry bag on the floor and proceeds to turn the doorknob.

"No Trace, I wasn't serious," I nervously giggle as I pull on her sleeve. She peers in, squeezing her head through the narrow gap she has created and then gestures with her hand for me follow her. _Okay, so I guess we're doing this then?_

Traci grabs my arm and pulls me inside with her. We stand by the door and find Holly face down in the middle of the bed with her head under a pillow and the bed covers pulled up partially over her back.

"Looks like we have a naked sleeper" Traci whispers, and she giggles in my ear.

"Yeah, and if we do this we are gonna cop an eyeful," I say reluctantly. _I bet Traci is laughing at me about now._

"We all have the same junk, Gail," she's says so matter of factually, a statement I had already been painfully aware of these past four days, and have been trying to get my head around. _She is just toying with you now, though you definitely have the upper hand._

"You two could always stop talking and get it over with," I hear a voice mumble from under the pillow. "Real stealthy, guys."

Traci and I immediately look at each other and nod in agreement. I kick my runners off and we leap onto to her bed. We jump up and down either side of her, holding each others hands like children and I watch Holly brace her arms beside her body, making sure to hug herself tightly. "You guys are lucky I am wearing underwear," she says as we notice the covers slowly moving down her back. _That's enough._ Traci and I drop to our knees and sit at the end of the bed on either side of Holly's legs.

"I think we were a couple of pillows away from being in some cliché chick flick" Holly says, now bracing the pillow over her head, "or some college girl on girl porno" she laughs into the mattress. _Really, Holly?_

I ignore her last comment as Traci looks at me bashfully. "Science geeks watch chick flicks?" I ask, as Traci leans over Holly and pulls the covers up to her head.

"Thank you," Holly says to her as she turns over and sits up against the headboard pulling the covers up under her arms. "I will get you later for that comment, Officer." Holly says and Traci giggles. That statement is definitely not helping our current not-so-secret situation, though Holly doesn't know that. _Yep, you are still a coward._

"So did you guys have fun last night? Didn't get into too much trouble I hope?" Traci asks with a subtle smirk. _Besides being caught with Holly's hand down my pants? Well not really down my pants._

My thoughts suddenly go straight to last night when Holly had me on the sofa softly kissing my neck. I can see Holly obviously doesn't have her head in the gutter like I do because I can tell she is about to interrupt my current chain of thought. "We drank some lovely wine while Gail proceeded to kick my ass at chess."

Traci looks at me somewhat surprised. Yes, Gail Peck plays chess! "That sounds... interesting," she says pursing her lips to the side. "Where was this?"

"At the bookstore in town" Holly answers.

"Gail in a bookstore playing chess," that's something you don't see everyday," Traci laughs.

"It was nice" Holly simply puts and she shoots me one of her token warm smiles. _Okay, now you are staring, stop it!_

"Yes, and then we went and spied on her ex-boyfriend who was pouring beers at the local hotel bar," I say trying to break Holly's gaze from my lips. Traci slowly raises her eyebrows; whether or not it's because of what I said, or that look on Holly's face, I don't know.

"Oh really? How did that go?" Traci asks quite amused.

"She basically ran away screaming," I laugh, and Holly gives me the greasiest stare I have ever seen. From her anyway. _Very nice, not better than mine though_.

"Speaking of running, how on earth did you get this one" Traci says as she pokes me in the ribs, "to agree to go running with you this morning?"

"I have my ways" Holly grins sneakily into her blanket. I am starting to think with all this subtle innuendo, I really should have told Holly that they know. _Ugh this is torture. Just stop it Gail, they really don't care. Do you?_

"She will be fine, she ran almost 10 blocks the other day after a perp." Traci says as she leans away from me because she knows what's coming. "Jesus, Gail!" She yells and she rubs her shoulder. _And Holly will never know that Chris practically drags me onto the treadmill every few days at the precinct gym._

"Is that right?" Holly says, who now seems all too happy with this new information. "I basically ended up blackmailing her in the end." _Yeah, with kisses. Actually that was my idea._

I unknowingly scrunch the hair at the sides of my temples.

"I'll go get dressed, and then we can go," Holly says as she leans over to grab her glasses from the nightstand and picks up the sweater off the floor and carefully puts it on. She looks up and notices my current state of anxiety and laughs. "Don't worry Gail, I'll catch you if you fall down." _Not so worried about that._

I casually avert my eyes from her underwear as she hops out of bed and heads towards the bathroom, and I here the door close. I turn to Traci, who is looking at the bathroom door as she stands up. "Don't you just love her? She is an impressive woman. You are a lucky girl."

My hearts stops for a split second, but I can't help but laugh nervously in my head at Traci's lack of subtlety, and for some reason I don't think I can stop the words that are fighting to come out of my mouth. _She is so bad at this, what happened to 'she will tell us when she is ready'_. "What ever do you mean?" I ask as she walks over the bedroom door.

"That you have found another ally that can put up with all your crap, of course."

"An ally?" I repeat and she taps her hand on the door as she leaves.

"I'm ready," I hear, and I turn to look at Holly with my mouth slightly agape. _What just happened?_

"What's with the face grouchy bum?" she asks as I watch her fumble with something in her hands. I can't seem to form words right now.

"Stand up for me" she asks.

"Why?" I pout.

"Why? Because I said so, Officer" she says as she clips some sort of transmitter onto a strap. "Lift your shirt up for me?"

"Why?" I whine and I see a repeat of that greasy cold expression. "Okay, okay, because you said so," I give in.

I lift up my shirt and she wraps the she strap across my sternum, directly below my bra. She leans into me as her hands go around my back, and her face comes closer to mine as she clips the straps ends together and she smiles at me with her eyes. _She can do that_.

"So what exactly is this for?" I ask as she tugs my shirt back down.

"I am going to monitor your heart rate with my watch. I can't have you dying on me before our second date," she grins.

"I am so not asking you this time. Still regretting the first time I did," I quip. "Totally joking by the way," I smile. She adjusts her watch and I follow her to the door. She stops as she reaches for the handle, and turns around and I almost walk into her. _Maybe this will become a habit._

"Did you forget something?" I ask.

"I did'," she says and she leans in and lightly kisses me on the lips. "Good morning, Gail." _This run better be worth it. Shit! I'll probably need shoes._


	20. Chapter 18

I chuckle as I listen to Holly call my name over and over. I didn't think running off in the opposite direction would cause such a reaction from her, though I suppose her not knowing I did could have played a part in her current vocal efforts to hunt me down, but it serves her right for running fifty meters in front of me.

I study the tree log from afar. "Was it really this big last time?" I say as I recall the moment when Holly had to pull me up just to get on top of it. _Sure was!_ But today these not so trusty arms of mine are going to do the job themselves. I kick the dirt like a horse in anticipation of my run up. _Holly didn't need a run up._ "You are champion of the world, you can do this!" I chant to psych myself up. I take a running leap and manage to hang my arms and chest over it, before I very uncoordinatedly fumble my legs up and around it until I am basically length ways hugging the log. _Very graceful, Gail_. I prop myself up as I listen for Holly who is still every so often calling out my name.

I swing my legs around and face inland and I feel her parent's initial engraving on the logs surface under my fingertips. I look towards the brush and I can see Holly jogging in and out of sight through the trees. As she approaches she sees me and I wave, however she doesn't look happy at all, and comes to an abrupt stop at the start of the clearing.

"What the hell Gail?" She says in a rather stern tone, holding out her arms in frustration. "I almost had a heart attack, I thought you had fallen down a ditch or something," she says looking at me, waiting curiously for an answer. I can't tell if she is completely serious or not, but she doesn't seem to be breaking from her current facial expression of what-the-fuck? So I guess...

"Oh, you're serious?" I ask, as I watch the lines on her forehead gradually increase at my apparent cluelessness.

"Well do I look like I am laughing? You disappeared and I noticed the heart rate on my watch had stopped," she says as she slowly approaches with her hands now on her hips.

"Holly, don't those things have a range of like, uh, two meters? You were like fifty meters in front of me! Did you think I was dead or something?" I laugh.

"Maybe..." she draws out, "for a moment there my amygdala did go into overdrive, but then I came to my senses" she says as her face turns slightly more red than it already was and she slaps my hanging foot and then walks over to the water.

"I'm sorry," I say as I swing my legs around once again over the log so I can watch her at the waters edge.

"I always forget how much I love it here, I wish I could get back here more often" she says, as she stretches her long arms over her shoulders. _Your arms go on forever_.

She turns and walks over me and stands in front of me as she lifts her leg to stretch her quad, using a hand on my knee to steady herself. "Thank you for coming on this little trip with me, well us, for a few days, it was..." she pauses and looks at the ground. I can see her brain turning over trying to find the right word. "Surprising" she smiles as she loses balance and I grab her forearm. _That's for sure._ "It was well needed. I haven't gotten away in forever." _Forever is a long time._

"Did I even have a choice?" I scoff and she lifts her head.

"You'll always have a choice, Gail" she smiles. She turns around and leans against the log between my legs and takes in the fresh air and the sun that has decided to pop out for a moment.

I put my hands on her shoulders and she slightly flinches at my touch. As I gently knead, her hot skin radiates through my cold hands. I don't know what it is, but anytime I am in close proximity to her I just have to touch her, even if half the time I chicken out. "H-Holly?" I say with trepidation.

"Mmm," she hums.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything if you keep doing that to my shoulders" she says. I can't see her face but I know she is smiling.

"Well you might not want to answer this, which I'll understand, but..." I stop. I suddenly realise that we are at one of her favourite spots on earth.

"You were saying?" she asks as she squeezes my shoe.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter, this isn't really isn't the place to time for me to ask you this."

My hands fall from her shoulders as she turns around and leans into the log. She hangs her arms over my knees; with her head now level with my navel.

"I don't think there is anything I wouldn't tell you," she says but my mind wanders immediately back to last night with that text message and her obvious lie. "Besides it's obviously important as I have watched your heart rate rise exponentially over the last 30 seconds."

"Great!" I roll my eyes. "You can already read me like a book, but now you have the heart rate thingy too? Totally not fair, Nerd."

"Interesting, I didn't know I could do that," she smiles. "Just ask me Gail. Anything," she insists while she playfully head butts my stomach.

I take in a very deep breath, and I watch her eyes widen in reaction to my nervousness. "When I was at the bookstore yesterday, buying your present, Margaret said something to me that has really bothered me since. She basically suggested that the ugly duckling book in someway reflected your life. 'Personal journey' are the words she used." I say and I watch her raise her eyebrows. _Is that shock or confusion?_ "Holly, I read it last night, and although it was very uplifting in the end it scared the fucking shit out of me!"

She takes a step back and rests her hands on my thighs. "Are you scared you will be outcast if people thought you were dating a woman?" She asks. _Wait, what where did that come from? Did I say that right? Was she not listening?_ I'm starting to think I am not the only one with insecurities here.

"No, no, no, definitely not _,_ I was scared for you, and what it all meant." _I've had too much to process really without adding everyone else to the mix._

"Look, I think she may have wound you up unnecessarily. Personal journey is a bit of a stretch; I don't think the themes necessarily reflect my life the way you think. Hardships, yes. But doesn't everybody go through those? You know there are different versions of this story right?" She infers.

"But Holly, in this one they suggest the duckling contemplated killing himself. Is that true for you?" I say very weakly, as I really don't want to know the answer.

"Okay, so I was 16 when I left school." _Oh god, she didn't say no_. "The summer, when I dated that guy Pete? My grandmother allowed me to attend the last six months of high school back here, so I stayed with Margaret. I was accepted very early to university, so it didn't really matter where I went. However, when we got back to school after the holidays, there were some rumours going around about me. Kids are cruel they tend to pick up on things and use them to their advantage, you know?"

"How did the rumors get started?" I ask. _I assume I know what they are about._

"By Pete's sisters best friend. So my crushes, best friend," she smiles. _Thanks for clarifying, Hol. Lol._

"She must have noticed something when I was around his sister. I mean I flat out denied it, in fact I denied it in my mind until I was about nineteen, but then I saw Pete's sister again one day and it all came flooding back. Anyway, I was bullied, heavily. To the point where..." She pauses takes a deep breath.

"They beat you up?" I ask wearily, as I can almost feel a tear forming in my eye.

She shakes her head. "No, I snapped. I punched her, twice. Broke her jaw and I was suspended. I should have been expelled, but the teachers knew what was going on, and had never really done anything about it. But I hated myself even more after that, and I punished myself for it for quite sometime."

"She probably deserved it, you were defending yourself in a way" I say.

"She didn't, no one deserves that. I hate violence, with a passion," she states rubbing my thigh rather tensely. "It's kind of why I do what I do. A way of helping the departed and their families, to bring some kind of peace back to those who are suffering and those who suffered already" she adds.

"So my grandmother decided to pull me out of school early. Luckily it didn't affect my acceptance into university. But months leading up to going to Uni, I did something very stupid. So very stupid. To this day I still can't get my head around it." She sighs. She removes her hands from my thighs and takes my hands. "Let me tell you now, I never wanted to kill myself, I never thought about killing myself, I just wanted to feel something else and I... " she pauses as she closes her eyes and drops her eyes while shaking her head, and my heart suddenly stops "...I swallowed a bottle of pain killers" she say as she looks up at me with sad defenceless eyes and it Immediately breaks my heart. "I woke up in the hospital. I was lucky to get away very little organ damage."

"Very little?" I ask.

"My liver was damaged. That's why now I make a point to look after myself, and those around me if I can. It's something I have to keep an eye on," she says.

"Ah... So that's why you are always exercising," I acknowledge and she smiles.

"No, not just that, apart from really enjoying it." She says as her hands move back to my thighs.

"Yeah you'd bloody have to" I remark and she squeezes them gently.

"Healthy body, healthy mind" she says as she pushes away from my legs and in one swift jump lands perfectly next to me on top of the log and I throw my head back and laugh at the fact of how hard it was for me to get up here.

"No wonder you are so fucking smart and perfect" I quip and Holly giggles. _Did I really just say perfect?_

"Plus, I knew one day id meet a stunning blonde woman who I could really annoy the shit out of with my superior athletic ability."

"You are not wrong there, Lunchbox. So not wrong," I laugh as I look out at the water.

I turn my smiling face towards her when I feel her hand graze the side of my cheek. _Andshe is touching me again; at least she is brave enough._ She carefully brushes the hair behind my ear. "I am always right," she says, her face now stoic and concentrated. She adjusts my ponytail running her hands through it, then down the side of my neck. She watches her own hand repeatedly stroke my shoulder before her eyes come back up in contact with mine. Her eyes flicker as she abruptly removes her hand from my collarbone. "Sorry," she says as she retreats back into her own space, "you should know I tend to do that a lot." I watch her eyes dart all over the place in wait of a response, and I slowly raise my eyebrows at her. "The touching?" she confirms. "My brain switches off and all of a sudden I don't know what I am doing." _Sure, sure._

"I didn't think it was physically possible to switch your brain off. And I thought you were a doctor?" I joke.

"You're teasing me?" _How can I not?_

I look back out to the water for what seems like forever.

"Why are you smiling so much, with what I just told you I thought you'd be a little more... I dunno, weirded out by it," she says and I slide off the log and actually land on my feet. _Yay!_

"I am just happy." I say as I offer her a hand off the log, and she slides down. "I am happy you are still here with us" I say softly as I look down at her fingers now intertwined in mine, "with me," I add, however I notice another carving on the log lower to the ground. I drop her hand and I kneel down. "What's this?" I ask as I clear away the dirt on the newly found engraving, which reads H.S. "You didn't mention it the other day." I look up at Holly who shrugs her shoulders then kneels down beside me.

She places her hand on the log over her intitals. "There is only one set of initials, did you do this?" I ask.

"My mother did it when I was about 5. She had told me one day there would be a special someone that would write their name next to mine." She exhales loudly. "But no one yet obviously," she says under her breath as she plays with the dirt at her feet, picking it up and releasing it over and over.

"Have you ever come close before?" I ask, and I feel nervousness unlike any other wash over me as Holly's watch beeps. _Don't you dare look at that!_

She looks up at me and smirks. "You are such a curious creature aren't you?" she says, and I can't help but wince. "No Gail, not even close," she answers, her hand still firmly placed on the log. I can feel the awkwardness building as I stare into her eyes, so I stand up and straighten my clothes.

"So should we get back to running? I wouldn't want all those muscles of yours to cool down too much." I say as I look down at her and start mentally kicking myself at my suggestion of running again.

"Why don't you go on ahead, I will give you a head start. If you beat me back I will shout you breakfast on Tuesday morning, how does that sound?"

"It sounds like you should give me a very long head start."

_"_ Ok, but no longer than five minutes," she says as she stands up and leans back against the log and sighs.

"Ok, I'll see you at the finish line" I say as I walk towards the trees. I stop at the edge of the clearing and turn around, "Hol?" I say as I try and grab her attention. For a moment I swear I could have seen her wipe away a tear as she turned around. She leans into the log as as she folds her arms up on top of it and rests her chin on her forearms. "Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah everything is fine" she responds unconvincingly, however I start to walk off anyway forgetting what I was actually going to say to her.

After twenty-five meters or so I stop and contemplate whether I should turn around and go back. Something was definitely not right, maybe I should just check? I walk back quietly and I see her still leaning against the log but this time she is sobbing into her arms. _Maybe you should leave her alone._

I would probably walk away if it was anyone else, but I find myself being drawn in her direction. I walk around the log and put my hand on her shoulder and she immediately responds by turning into me, flinging her arms around my back as she holds on for dear life. I feel her shake against me with each sob. I feel the heat of our skin melt together and as her tears fall on my shoulder. After I while I sense her calm down and I compel myself to say something.

"Look, Lunchbox, I know you wanted to see me naked, but there is no reason to cry about it," I quietly joke and I hear her take in a few staggered breathes and she squeezes me even tighter, so I do the same back.

"I didn't think you did hugs," she sniffles at me.

"I lied."

* * *

There isn't long before we get back home. I look at Steve bopping his head up and down to the car radio through the space in the drivers seat headrest. Traci is fast asleep in the passenger seat holding his hand over the center console. If I wasn't holding Holly's hand right now too, i'd probably make some inappropriate remark about how they make me nauseous, but alas I will leave them in peace. _Just this once._

I lean my head sideways on the back seat and face Holly. I look past her at the pile of stuff she conveniently placed there so she could sit next to me on the way back to the city. I smile to myself at how she had said there was no room for it in the back of the station wagon, when in actual fact all there was was space. I giggle as I remember her expression when I said, "Oh, you are one of those sly sneaky pathologists. They are the worst." She had blushed, before taking my hand and kissing my fingers just as Steve and Traci were about to get in the car.

Her head rests backwards over the top of the backseat. Her hair is swept to one side, leaving her neck exposed, where I see the two small moles that point toward her collar bone, the same ones I had trailed my fingers over ever so lightly last night. I can smell the moisturiser on her neck that I watched her apply after she had showered from our run early this morning. The sight and smell is intoxicating and is doing unexpected things to my body. I run my thumb over the top of her hand that rests on her thigh under the carefully positioned blanket. I need to see her eyes, it's been too long, so I type out a message on my phone.

Gail: _"Wake up! Wake up! I am so bored sitting here alone with my thoughts, entertain me._ "

I press send and I wait for her to open her eyes. She shifts in her seat beside me and with her eyes still closed she moves her free hand under the blanket to reach for her buzzing phone inside her pocket. She lifts her phone up in front of her face and pushes her glasses up to the top of her head then gradually opens her eyes. I watch the corner of her mouth slowly curl up as she reads my message and then she begins typing.

Holly _: Well we wouldn't want that. I feel like I need a holiday from my holiday, I don't think I have ever had so many late nights. My brain needs it's beauty rest too. What were u thinking about?_

Gail _: was trying not to vomit at the sight of Traci and my brother holding hands_.

Holly looks towards them in the front seat and smiles.

Holly _: Well I think it's sweet._

Gail _: Well you wouldn't you, but mainly I was thinking about those two moles at the bottom of your neck._

Holly reaches for her neck with her phone, and I giggle.

Gail _: Yes those ones. I was creepily watching you sleep._

I notice her glance at Steve in the front seat before she turns towards me smiling, mirroring my heads position on the back of the seating the car. Her smile gradually disappears as her eyes once again start scanning my face. I'm starting to think she is a little obsessed. I look back down to my phone and type "we are going to have to get you a seeing eye dog soon, if you keep looking at me like that" and I look back at her and catch her looking at my chest, but she doesn't seem to care, and I press send.

I watch her closely as she types out her response, which doesn't take long.

Holly _: ..._

Gail _: Have I mentioned lately that you are weird?_

"Hey guys, we are here. Holly, did you need a hand with your stuff?" Steve asks and Holly quickly whips her head up towards him. Before she has a chance to answer, I open the back door and release Holly's hand from under the blanket. "I've got it Steve," I say as Holly follows me out the back door. I walk around to the other side of the car and get her stuff out and hand half of it to her. We walk in silence to the front of her apartment and we stop at the security door. Her place looks much different in the light of day compared to a few nights ago when I was out here pleading for her friendship. I place her belongings on the ground and she does the same.

"Gail, I -I" she stutters as she peers around me and looks at Steve and Traci waiting for me in the car. "I really wish I could kiss you right now," she adds as she stares at the ground.

"Give me a week?" I ask and her head snaps up,

"A week? I am seeing you Tuesday, I am not waiting a bloody week" she whines and I laugh. "Stop laughing at me, Gail," she says abruptly.

"Tuesday yes, but not quite what I meant," I say.

She squints at me in confusion. "What did you mean then?"

"I -I mean... I don't want to hide this from people. That we are dating? So the kissing, in front of people? I don't think I would mind so much, I mean if you are into that kind of thing," I say as I kick at the concrete path.

"Wait what?" She says. _Was she even listening?_

"My god, you drive me insane," I say as I pull at my hair. "Listen carefully okay? I would like to date you, out in the open. None of this sneaking around shit." I confirm.

"Oh, I, um, no, okay, so." She responds incoherently.

She finally finds her bearings and steps closer to me. "I'll see you Tuesday then?"

"See you Tuesday," I confirm as she adjusts my coat collar and rubs my arm to make sure I'm warm. "That's two days away," she adds, and I give her a kiss on the cheek. _Man we are so obvious it's not funny_. "You are very good at math aren't you, Lunchbox," I say as I walk away.

"Oh and Gail? I won't leave you" she calls and I stop and turn back around, and I watch the security door close behind her. I suddenly feel like a deer caught in headlights, only there are cars coming at me from all different directions and I don't know which way to go. I walk back towards the car and take a deep breath as the urge of running back to her eases.

I hop in the car and Traci looks at me from the front seat. "All set?" she says and I nod.

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and I pull it out and see it's a message from Holly. It's that photo she took of us in the park. A warmth comes over me as I remember the moment and I smile at the fact her finger is still partially over the lens, even after direction. "Damn it!" I say and Traci quickly turns to me. "What? Who's that?" she asks.

"Holly," I say. "But she was just" she teeters off, and I smile at her knowingly. I should have just kissed her.


	21. Chapter 19

"So, Officer Peck..." the Doc says as she reads through her notes, tracing each line with her pen. "As I understand it, this session today is not a mandatory one, that you asked for this time yourself?" _Yup, is that a first?_

"Mmm." I breathe out, even though I don't want or need to be here. _I can't believe I am here on a Sunday!_

"I do have a file here that's says you were caught up in lasts weeks precinct shooting. You got hit in the back of the vest, before an..." she pauses and scans down the page "before an Officer Nick Collins shot and killed the gunman. Is that something you wanted talk about?" she asks and I shrug my shoulders and slump back into my chair and she waits for me to say something else. A seemingly common occurrence in our sessions. "Officer Peck you did ask for this session..." _Ugh_.

"Gail, my name is Gail, remember?" I say as I fight the urge to roll my eyes. _She's just doing her job remember?_

"Okay then, Gail, can you tell me what has brought you here today?" she asks so straight faced, it annoys the shit out of me.

I really hate the way shrinks look at you. They study your every move, hang on your every word, ready to pounce and use it against you. "I promised someone I would come here," hence my reluctance to speak. _Read my mind already would you? No don't._

"Okay, and what made this person ask you to make this appointment?"

"I wasn't sleeping there for a few nights, and I had jokingly floated the idea out there that maybe I should talk to someone about it, but I really don't need to." _Like really._

"You don't?" she says raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, because I know why I wasn't sleeping."

"Care to elaborate?" she asks.

"Nope." I say dismissively.

"But you are here anyway," she states and I audibly sigh.

"After I promised, I really didn't want to lie to her and say I went when I didn't, so that's why I am here."

"And who is 'her'?" _Oh, you caught that?_

"My..." I pause for a moment as I think my answer through "A friend. My friend Holly," I continue. _And there it is. Didn't take me long to mention her name._

"Holly Stewart?" she asks as she runs back over her notes, seemly familiar with the name. _This is going to take forever_

"Let me save you the energy Doc," I say and she places her hands down in her lap and gives me her undivided attention. "She is the one that I jumped in front of a bullet for, the one..." I stop before any word vomit has a chance to start coming out of my mouth. _Doc is going to love this_.

"The one you told me previously had kissed you a few weeks ago?" she asks. _Doi_.

"Yup," I say breathlessly and nod. _She's good._

"She was the reason for me not sleeping." I surprisingly find myself say after all, and she does that nod where she thinks she understands everything your saying. _You suck!_

"In what way was she the reason?" she asks and I see my phone buzz and light up on the coffee table between us. "Sorry, excuse me" I say as I pick it up to turn it off but I see a message notification from Holly and have to open it.

Holly: _Guess what? Fine, I'll tell you. I finally figured out what that plant was that assaulted me. Now you'll never have to die wondering. Yes, I am a big nerd and you love it. Xx H_

"What? She still didn't tell me..." I pause and laugh before I remember I am not alone, and I look up at the Doc who is quizzically staring at me.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" I chuckle as I put the phone back down. I can feel my face burning and I bite my bottom lip as I try to fight off the laughter building in my stomach. I lean against my elbow on the armrest and cover my lips with my fingers and try to squeeze them shut.

"That's okay," she smiles "I asked in what way was she the reason for you not sleeping?" She asks, but I can't hold it in.

"I'm sorry," I laugh, as I put my hands over my mouth. "I heard what you said but it's gone in one ear and out the other. It's just... she is so funny," I divulge.

"Your friend Holly?" she asks.

"Yes, though she isn't just my friend anymore, Doc."

"Hey loser, wake up!" I hear Steve communicate rather loudly, which at this moment I don't really appreciate.

"I am not asleep, ass hat," I say as I lift my head off the desk and see him smiling down at me.

I look at my phone as I have done the millionth time this morning. _She still hasn't messaged me back._

"You are going to get dragged to Bests office soon if you don't start paying attention. Traci and I have watched you over here for the last 20 minutes staring at your phone then slamming your head into the desk. Not a great impression to make on your first day back, sis."

"Well I only have 30 minutes left on shift, so..." I say as I scroll through the mass amounts of messages Holly and I have exchanged over the past two days. _My phone bill is going to be huge!_

"What's so fascinating about your phone anyway?" he asks as he leans over the front desk and grabs it off me.

"Give it back Steve, or I'll..." I threaten.

"Oh it's ringing!" Steve laughs. "Hello?" he answers and I jump around the front desk and try to kick him in the shins as I try and grab the phone from his ear while he tries to listen. He defends himself with his forearms and tries to block me as I notice his laughter quickly vanish. "Shoosh, Gail stop!" he says as he holds a finger out in front of my face and I let go of his arm at the seriousness of his tone.

"Steve?"

"No that's fine. I tell her. Thank you," he says then he hangs up.

"Steve?" I whine as he immediately starts to walk over to Tracey in the bullpen. _What the hell?_

I watch him whisper into Tracey's ear as she sits eating her lunch at one of the vacant desks. I see her look up at me from across the room as she drops her sandwich back in its brown paper bag then gets up out of her chair and says something to Chris a few desks over. I see Chris throw Steve some car keys and Steve turns and walks back over to me.

"Grab your stuff, kid," he says. _Oh crap, last time he called me that was... I can't even fucking remember it was so long go._

"Steve what's going on?" I ask as he pulls me through the station and out the back to the squad parking lot.

"Everything's fine, but don't freak out, okay?"

"I am only gonna freak out if you don't tell me what the fuck is going on in the next 3 seconds." I say as I pull on his arm and we stop in front of Chris's squad car.

"The phone call you just got was from a nurse at a private health clinic on King Street. Holly passed out at an appointment and now needs a lift home. She is totally fine though," he smiles. _Why are you acting so weird then_?

"Okay... but my shift?" I say as I look back towards the precinct door.

"Traci's got it covered. You're good to go," he assures me.

"Okay, thanks, give me the keys then," I say holding out my hand but he turns away from me.

"Hop in, I'll drive," he says.

_Ugh, this is taking forever._ "Turn the siren on," I say to Steve who is driving like an old man.

"Gail, its not exactly an emergency," he says as he looks at his watch.

"I knew I should have driven," I mumble. "If I'm just picking her up, why exactly are you here?" I ask and he ignores me.

"We are here," he says as he pulls into a parking spot and he suddenly puts his hand on top of mine in my lap. _What the?_ I look at him and he nods his head to something out in the street, urging me to look.

"Breast Screening Radiology Clinic" I read on the side of the building, and I feel my heart start to rapidly increase as I hop out of the squad car and walk around to the sidewalk and lean against the bonnet as Steve gets out and stands beside me.

"You okay?" he asks.

"I feel sick," I say as I quickly walk over to the closest trashcan, and with two hands positioned either side, I lean over it as I try and breathe through my sudden bout of nausea.

"It going to be fine Gail, they said she was fine," he tries to comfort with a hand squarely on my back. I close my eyes and breath in and step away from the trashcan.

"You don't know that! As if they'd tell a perfect stranger anything over the phone!" I snap.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" he asks, ignoring my previous outburst.

"It's fine," I say as I approach the front door of the clinic.

"I'll be out here, if you need..." I hear him trail off, and I look back at him as I walk through the door, and I mouth sorry though the window.

I walk up to the front desk and see the receptionist sitting in her chair, with her back to me, chatting and laughing on the phone. "Excuse me," I say and she infuriatingly holds a finger up blindly at me from behind her.

I lean over the desk and hang up the receiver. "Hey!" I say with my voice raised and she swings around on her chair and when she sees me instantly stands up.

"Officer! Um, how can I help?" she says as she fumbles the handset.

"I'm looking for Holly Stewart. I am here to pick her up." I tell her and she points over my shoulder and I turn my head around and follow her gaze. I see Holly sitting in the waiting area leaning over with her head in her hands. "Holly!" I exclaim, and she jumps out of her chair and walks over and hugs me.

"I am glad you are here," she mumbles into my shoulder. I stroke her hair as she steps away slightly from our embrace and she looks at me. "Let's get out of here, this place is freaking me out," she smiles. _No shit!_ I take her hand and lead her out the front door. When we get out into the street I walk beside her with my arm wrapped around the back of her waist as we make our way over to the squad car.

"Your brother is here," she says and I open the back door of the car and she hops in. "Move over" I tell her.

"You're not going to sit in the front?" she asks.

"No, move over," I repeat and she shifts all the way over to the other side of the car, so I hop in and move over to the middle seat next to her.

"Hi Steve, thanks for this," she says as she does up her seat belt.

"That's cool, where can I take you?" he asks.

She looks at me and smiles. "I'm expected at my grandmothers shortly, so if you can drop me off there that'd be great," she says as she glances back to Steve as he turns the engine on. "She lives over near the Aquatic center, so anywhere near there is fine."

"Don't you want to go home, and rest? They said on the phone you passed out," I ask her as Steve pulls out of the parking spot.

"I'm fine Gail, it was so stupid. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I promise." She insists. And I stare at her blankly as I wait for her to say more. _Well don't leave me hanging._

Holly continues to look out the window and I start to get impatient. _Why isn't she telling me anything, it's been 15 minutes for fuck sake!_ I take her hand from her lap. "Holly..." I say sternly.

"Gail..." she smugly mimics back and looks at our hands then at Steve in the front seat, probably concerned that he might see.

"What they hell are you trying to do to me?" I ask and she exhales quickly and loudly.

"I suppose you are wondering why I was where I was," she smiles and I cock my head sideways. _Is she serious?_

"Are you serious?" I say quite loudly and Steve turns his head to us briefly. "Is she serious, Steve?" I repeat as I find myself quite irritated. "It's not everyday I have to pick up my girlfriend from a frigging breast cancer clinic!" I say and I watch her mouth drop open.

She slowly leans into me, with her mouth still slightly agape. "Um Gail, your brother is right there" she points out quietly.

"Him? He totally knows," I state. And he waves at us through the rear view vision mirror and smiles.

"You told him?" She asks, somewhat surprised.

"No. Apparently we are the most obvious people on the planet." I say and Holly looks at him and laughs.

"Ha. I did think you'd have to be pretty stupid not to have noticed," she points out.

"Well yes, apparently that is the general consensus," I quip.

"Tell that to Traci," Steve calls from the front.

I move Holly's face back toward mine with a finger under her chin and I plead with my eyes for her to tell me what happened as I notice the car stop. "I'm going to go get a coffee, and will leave you two guys to... Yeah, be back soon Gail." Steve says but Holly and I don't take our eyes off of each other.

"So..." she says

"I'm waiting," I pout.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't want to tell you." _Um, ouche!_ "I had a routine mammogram three weeks ago and they said they possibly found something, but that it was more than likely nothing. So it was something I kind of threw into the back of my mind and then locked away the key," she says, a little embarrassed. "After some encouragement and harassment from my boss, and the fact she made this appointment without me knowing... well here I am. I wasn't even going to show up today, but then you said that stuff to me when you dropped me off on Saturday, and you changed my mind for me. You were brave enough to say..." she trails off. "Anyway..."

"And what was with the fainting?" I ask.

"I kind of worked myself up into a state before I got here, and as soon as the doctor walked in the room, I remember waking up on the floor," she says as she rubs the back of her head, like she was feeling for a bump.

"Holly why didn't you take someone with you? I would have come, I thought we told each other stuff?"

"I -I," she stutters, "my boss was supposed to drive me but she got called out to something important."

I lean back towards the car window "more important than this?" I shriek.

"Dead bodies tend to trump scared avoiding pathologists, Gail, and I didn't want to worry my grandmother into an early grave, and then there was you. I didn't know how you'd react, I thought you might run in the opposite direction and I didn't want you to leave me, even three weeks ago, I didn't want you to leave me. Sorry, I was being completely irrational." _I'll say_.

I watch a tear start to form behind her glasses and she turns away and hops out of the car, so I move back to the other side and do the same. She walks around the car to the footpath and stands there with her hands on her hips while I lean against the car door. "And I thought I was going to be the irrational one in this relation..." I pause as I kick the ground before I realise what I am about to say. _Okay not completely comfortable yet._

I feel her hands on my shoulders, as she rests her head against my forehead. "There is plenty of time for that to change," she says and I watch her smile just inches away from my face. _Ugh, don't I know it._

She moves back slightly and lifts up my chin before returning her hand to my shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she says and my heart sinks a little. She looks into my eyes, then at my lips before she leans in and kisses me. I can taste the salt from her tears that had traveled down and landed on her lips. She moves one of her hands from my shoulders and slides it up my neck and into my hair, which makes me smile into her lips.

"Oh wow! This is going to take some getting used to," I hear Steve say and I look sideways as Holly breaks our kiss.

"What? You haven't seen two girls kiss before?" Holly laughs.

"It's not that. It's just Gail looks happy and it freaking me out." _Me too brother, me too._


	22. Chapter 20

I turn the ignition off and place both my hands on the steering wheel as I look at my phone next to me on the passenger seat. I could just send her a message I suppose, even if it's unlikely to even reach her with her no-phones-at-grandmothers-house rule she has currently, and I might I say, willingly, enforced on herself. _She is crazy._

_Ugh, just do it you pussy._ I look over at Holly's grandmothers house and pull the hood from my jacket over my head, and I open my door and put one foot out onto the road. When I go to open the door further I see two old ladies nearby in matching walking attire. They glare at me and whisper to each other as their little yappy dogs bark at me through the half open door. "Morning," I nod; however they don't look very impressed. _What the hell did I do?_ "Don't worry ladies, I am not some thug, no need to call cops on me," I challenge as I pop my head out the door and they turn back to me and continue whispering. _Neighborhood watch members I bet._

I sigh and look at my foot on the ground. "Yep, surely that's enough bravery for one day," I conclude as I lift my leg back into the car and close the door. _Baby steps._ I grab my phone and type out a message to Holly. "No harm in trying this first right?" I say to myself as I shake my head at my indecisiveness.

**_Gail:_ ** _I'm outside waiting, Nerd. I'm the gangsta wearing the hoody and dark glasses in the black SUV with unmarked plates._

I turn on the stereo loud and I drop my sunglasses over my eyes and lean my head back against the headrest. "This is much better," I say as I hang my arm out the window and wait. I close my eyes as my phone buzzes, and I blindly reach for it on the passenger seat.

**_Holly:_ ** _'Sup? Hangin' out tha laundry fo' mah grandmutha, this biatch ghon be out in 5 minz yo._

"She is just full of surprises," I laugh out loud.

**_Gail:_ ** _then stop dat text'n ho and get yo ass out 'ere._

**_Holly_ ** _: I can't talk like this; once was enough._

Okay, princess.

**_Gail:_ ** _Well you could have fooled me your ladyship._

**_Holly:_ ** _You're distracting me from my current task at hand._

**_Gail:_ ** _Then stop replying. Better hurry though, cos I'm pretty sure the neighbours have called the cops on my loitering ass. Her ladyship's carriage awaits._

**_Holly:_ ** _See you shortly, Ho._

**_Gail:_ ** _That's Officer Ho to you._

I throw my phone to the passenger seat and close my eyes again and tap my thumbs to the beats of the music. As time passes I find myself more relaxed and I start humming to the monotonous tunes coming from the radio. _Mmm, I know that smell._

"I know you are there, Nerd," I reveal with my eyes still closed. "I can always smell your moisturiser from a mile away." I smile and inhale again.

"Thank my grandmother, she buys the same brand," I hear. _Thanks Holly's grandma._

I open my eyes, and through my dark glasses watch her bend down and rest her arms over my open window.

"You also smell like cookies. Why do smell like cookies?" I question.

"My grandmother baked some this morning," she grins.

"Well where the hell is ma cookie, ho?" I exclaim.

"You mean this cookie?" she teases, as she holds it out in front of my face. I go to grab it and she moves it further away from me. _Never tease me with food._

"Your grandmother baked me a cookie?" I ask as I look at it iced with the letter "G." She smirks as she retracts her arm from the inside of he car, taking my cookie with her. "Wait! That's mine..." I shout and i push my sunglasses to the top of my head and I follow her intently with my eyes as she walks around the front of the car to the passenger side and hops in.

"Where's all your stuff?" I ask as she pulls my phone out from underneath her and hands it to me.

"You dropped me straight here yesterday remember, after...?" she peters out.

"Oh right, how could I forget that." I utter quietly and let my head fall back against the headrest. _I nearly threw up in the street._

"Sorry," she defends and I feel her hand on my thigh. "I wish it could have stayed and talked to you about it," she admits and she lightly squeezes my thigh.

I turn my head towards her with it still firmly planted on the headrest. "Cookie," I growl and she stares at me blankly. "Cookie" I repeat.

"Is that my new nickname? I must say, I have gotten quite fond of both Lunchbox and Nerd, but if you insist," she giggles and she slowly leans over to me and pauses in front of my face, I assume waiting for me to close the distance and kiss her.

"Cookie first," I smirk.

"Wow! You drive a hell of a hard bargain," she chuckles and she returns back to her seat. "By the way my grandmother didn't make this cookie special you know," she says turning up her nose. "I didn't spend all day and night yesterday gushing about you that she felt the need to bake you cookies," she defiantly protests.

"Only some of the day then?" I hint and she ignores me.

"See..." she grunts holding out the box to me and I see a cookie with each letter of the alphabet. _What the fuck?_

"I am supposed to hand these out to my friends," she says as she places the box on her lap. _How cute._

"What friends?" I joke.

"Shut up and eat your cookie," she cautions as she shoves the G into my mouth.

"Mmm, nice" I mumble with my mouth full. "That means I get eight cookies right? Gail Peck, makes eight," I say spurting crumbs and I try to brush them away from my chest.

"Just drive, you fool."

* * *

If there is anything that I love more than red lipstick and alcohol, it is going out for breakfast. For me, it's the best time of the day. It's probably the best time of day to be around me too, with everyone onto his or hers second coffee (including myself) and the likely hood of someone having pissed me off already is pretty slim. Plus there is food. And god, I love my food. Particularly when I don't have to cook it myself. But all this can all change in a heartbeat.

I bang my fork down hard on the table. "Holly, they forgot my butter. I hate it when they forget the butter."

She peers over the top of her newspaper at me and then at the people on the next table looking our way. _Sorry, Hol you will have to get used to that._ She lifts up her newspaper and she slides her butter that was hidden behind her paper over to me. "Have mine."

"You sure?" I ask.

And she glances over to the cafe counter. "I don't think I want to see what happens to that waiter when he comes over here, so yes, I am pretty sure," she insists and she smiles as she drops her newspaper back down, her face disappearing behind it. _Good call._

"You know I used to be a waitress, and I can tell you now Holly, I was a nightmare," I laugh and I drop the entire knob of butter on top of my pancakes.

"No kidding," she giggles safely behind her paper as she turns the page. _Okay smarty-pants._

"So what's new in the world today?" I ask and I start to pour the jug of syrup over my pancakes with no intention of stopping until it's all gone. I suddenly see Holly's hand on top of mine, before she takes the jug away from me.

"No!" she warns, "I watched you eat the G, L, E, C, and K on the way here. That's enough sugar young lady," she pouts before hiding away again and taking the syrup jug with her.

"One date and you are already getting between me and my food? Not good Lunchbox, not good," I smirk as I look at my plate and I pick up my fork and dig into my first pancake.

"You wanna try some pancakes, or are you happy with those dry bits of toast you have there," I ask chewing and she stretches her arm out towards me and puts the paper down on the table.

"Give it to me then," she insists and I hand her my fork and she raises herself slightly out of her chair and leans over the table and sticks her fork in, holding the opening to her collared shirt to her chest, before sitting back down again. _What? You think I'm going to look down your shirt?_

"You've got some syrup on your lip," I snicker as I point to my own and she evilly smiles at me and picks up her newspaper, and once again disappears behind it.

"You'll just have to remove it later," she says nonchalantly.

"Can I get you ladies a refill?" the waiter interrupts and I lose the train of thought that Holly had so easily planted in my head. I fumble for my cup, nearly knocking over my glass of water as I hear Holly giggle quietly behind her paper.

"Yes, please. And may I get some more butter for Ms Giggle's dry cold toast over there?" I jeer and he nods at me and doesn't even raise an eyebrow. "I'm not funny at eight in the morning it seems."

"Not when it's laced with cynicism, no."

"That's why you're hiding behind your paper isn't it? I am too rude. It's embarrassing to be seen with me," I say and I shovel some more pancake into my mouth.

"Actually, it's more the way you eat," she says as I put half a pancake in my mouth at once.

"Whatever," I mumble and I watch her peak over her newspaper again.

"What?" I ask, and I pull the paper down in front her then she takes it, folds it and throws it over to the cafe window where all the papers are piled up.

"What are you doing tonight?" she asks as the waiter hands her the butter and she starts spreading it on to her toast.

"Dunno. Either drinking or eating I suppose." I haven't actually got plans, I rarely do.

"Do you want to drink or eat with me?" she asks quietly, without looking me in the eye as she takes a bite of her toast.

"Will you be restricting my intake then too?" I ask and she waits to finish chewing like a good girl, unlike me, who still has a mouth full of food when I speak.

"No," she draws out slowly. "I will even pay for it," she continues, and I see her eyes light up as she sees the jam, and spreads some on her toast.

"Be careful, there is a lot of sugar in that," I quip as I move the small container of jam away from her and she raises her hands in the air in dismay, and then slumps back in her chair.

"Are you asking me out, nerd?"

"Isn't it like, obvious?" she bites and I laugh. _I like this._

"I am going straight to work after this, but I finish at 6pm, so... Did you need a lift home after this?" I ask.

"No it's fine, you should get to work," she answers.

"Why don't you take my car today, then you can drop me off, go about your nerdy business and then you can pick me up after? Wait, will I need clothes?" I ask. _What did I just say?_

"Will you need clothes?" she repeats and smiles into her glass of water, and I catch her subtly gaze down my body, before returning her eyes to mine.

"I just heard how that sounded," I moan and I drop my head into my hands.

"What you are wearing is fine," she says and I lift my head up "Sexy even," she conveniently continues, as my eyes find hers, then she purposefully looks me up and down so I really notice. "It's a nice blouse, fits it all the right places," she laughs.

"Stop it, you're making me uncomfortable," I say as I rest my hands under my chin. _She is trying to bait you._

"I know it does, that's half the fun," she retorts and she takes my fork and has another mouthful of my pancakes. "Though you should probably borrow one of my jackets."

* * *

I pull up into the precincts parking lot and turn off the car. I look over to Dov, Chris and Oliver who are leaning against one of the squad cars on the opposite side of the lot, yapping to each other. I undo my seat belt and sink back into the seat and stare blankly out the windscreen.

"Gail, is something wrong?" Holly asks and I turn back towards her and I find her peering around me looking at Dov, Chris and Oliver.

"Nothing," I exhale as she shifts her gaze back to me and looks into my eyes and warmly smiles. She looks so beautiful. _Tell her she is._

"Okay," she says as she opens the passenger door.

"Wait, I" I stammer and I grab her arm, and she closes the door and takes my hand from her arm and holds on to it tightly.

"What?" she asks.

"I -I can't do it." I say and I see a look of fear wash over her face as she wriggles uncomfortably in her seat, and her grip on my hand slightly loosens.

"You can't do what, Gail?" she asks as I watch her eyelids flutter. I always somehow find the shittiest ways to start a conversation. _Look at what you did to her. Fix it._

"I'm not good with words, Holly, I'm not. And if I even attempt it, I know I'm gonna die," I admit. _Not helping._

"Attempt what?" she asks.

"Tell my friends I am dating a woman," I say, and I watch her exhale in some sort of relief.

"You want to tell your friends?" she reiterates.

"Yes, but I have no idea how. It's just going to be awkward and horrible for everyone. I hate having to explain myself."

"Okay, what do you want me to do? Do you need help?" she asks rather tentatively as if she is waiting for me to bite back.

"I don't know. All I know is, I'm not good with words," I frown.

"Maybe you need to approach it differently," she pauses and I shrug. "Gail, you know there are going to be questions regardless of how you tell them, right? They love you, but they will be curious. Are you ready to handle the questions they will throw at you?"

"I think so... But" Is all i get out as she interrupts me. _Did she even listen to what I said?_

"I told you already there is no pressure on my end. I want you to be comfortable. You don't look comfortable, Gail."

"Am I ever comfortable?" I ask.

"Hmm, good point," she sighs.

"Look, I know I don't have to answer their questions if I don't want to, but," I pause, "how do I tell them, nerd?" I whine.

"Maybe you can show them instead," she says.

"Okay... How exactly?"

"Hows this for a scenario. Lets just say we got out of this car right, I could walk around to your side and I call out to your friends, innocently wave, grabbing their attention, because lets face it, who doesn't want to look at this?" she gestures to her body trying to lighten the mood and I push her playfully in the shoulder. "I could perhaps give you a hug or something, then give you a quick kiss goodbye. Then you could take this box of cookies and give them to your friends, and then I'll hop in your car and drive away," she says. _Sounds simple enough._

"Silence them with cookies, interesting. Though I don't think that will work," I smile.

"No it won't," she laughs, "but it won't kill you to be nice and offer them a cookie will it?"

"That would be very out of character for me," I state.

"It could be a day of firsts then," she points out and I slump back into my chair and sigh rather loudly. "Stupid plan though.." she mutters.

"I think there is one problem with your plan," I muse and I open the door and step out of the car.

"Gail, wait! What's the plan then..." she says and I hear the anxiety in her voice. I watch her quickly fumble her way out the door and she starts to walk around the front of the car, cookie box in hand. I turn and lean against the front wheel.

"Hey guys!" I shout out to Dov, Chris and Oliver, and I give them the biggest smile I can muster and I wave. I know even this act kindness from me will freak them out, which is kind of the point; I'd like to render them speechless. They wearily wave back at me, Dov looks completely stupefied and I see Chris grin as he sees Holly pull up beside me.

"Hey, Holly!" he waves. _Oh crap, I forgot about that, he will just have to deal._ She waves to him then places the box of cookies on the bonnet, and I stand up and turn to her and give her the keys to my car. She stares at me blankly, unsure of what's to come.

"I'll see you tonight then?" I ask and she nervously nods. _I thought I'm supposed to be the nervous one._

"Gail..." she hesitates and I step closer towards her and I lean in and wrap my hands around her waist and nestle my chin into her shoulder. "What are you doing," she whispers as her arm softly wrap around my back. I say nothing. I lean back, but stay in close proximity and my arms drop over her forearms and I take hold. I smile at her nervousness and I slowly lean in for a kiss and I hear her breath hitch as our lips touch. It's long, warm and firm. My hands gravitates up her neck and ends up on the side of her face as our lips part and I take a step back and I watch her eyes slowly flutter open. I am still amazed I can have that effect on someone.

"You had a bit of syrup there," I chuckle pointing to her lip. I lean over the bonnet and pick up the box of cookies without breaking eye contact with her. "Later, nerd" I say and I quickly peck her on the lips and turn around and start walking towards the precinct.

"You're insane, you know that right?" I hear her call, and I close my eyes and smile.

As I approach the guys, I see Chris's look of astonishment, and it slowly warms as I get closer. Dov is smiling like a fool, and Oliver is looking at the box in my hands. "Boys," I nod, as I acknowledge their presence, "have some cookies" I say and I throw Oliver the box. "Leave me the A, I and the P or I will kill you." _Dead._


	23. Chapter 21

Holly turns off the engine as I quickly undo my seatbelt and she follows suit. It's a little weird we are sitting in the exact same place, at the exact same time as we were last week. My driveway. The day she ran away from me in fear, not just emotionally, but physically ran away, fast. It's funny to think that it all started at this very spot.

"Weird," I vocalise, the word accidentally coming out of my mouth breaking the silence that was the last five minutes.

"What?" she asks turning in her seat, curiously raising her eyebrows, but I choose to ignore what I said.

"Sorry. I didn't realise I'd be out working in civilian clothes with my brother today. I probably should have called or messaged, but it got so busy, I didn't get a chance... We weren't going to be late for anything were we?" I ask as I fidget with the bracelet Holly gave me.

She taps me on the knee, "It's fine Gail, seriously. You didn't stuff anything up," she insists, "actually..." she draws out with a cheeky grin, "I am glad you get the chance to change because what I had thought of earlier for us to do tonight, changed in the last hour, so... I was going to drive you back here anyway."

"Okay, this is starting to sound weird." _What the hell has she got in store for me?_

"It is weird, it will blow your freaking mind though, well at least I think it will, I mean it should, I hope so anyway" she second-guesses herself before she happily starts to rock in her seat. "If you can't tell already, I am really excited," she adds.

"No shit, Sherlock." I laugh, and she shrugs her shoulders with a huge grin.

"I love that show," she exclaims jumping in her seat _. Okay then, Nerd._

"Easy there tiger. I really do have to get out of these clothes. Kinda glad I found a tank top in my locker at work. My blouse was not in good shape," I say, as I smell the sleeve of my hoodie.

"Aww, and if I remember correctly, it fit in all the right places," she smugly smirks.

"Whatever, perv," I moan, and I repeat the blush from this morning from when she had said the same thing. "I'm going to have to shower too, is that okay?"

"Please do," she laughs. "You are a little too smelly for my liking." _I am painfully aware of this fact_. "And I hang around corpses all day," she jokes and I childishly poke my tongue out at her.

"So, are you going to make it into my place this time?" I ask and as the words come out I realise that it wasn't very fair of me to say. "Sorry, I didn't mean..." I apologise almost instantly before she has a chance to answer.

"Not one of my finest moments, I must admit," she recalls and I see the anguish on her face. _Gail, you dick_!

"Come on then, let's check out your man pad," she says as she opens the car door and gets out. I hop out to meet her and I catch her hand as I walk past her and I intertwine our fingers as I lead her up to the front door. I think maybe this time if I hold onto her hand, she won't run away from me. "Are the guys home?" she asks and I stop outside the front door and search for my keys in my bag.

"No, they are at the Penny. Dov actually asked me to invite you, but I told him you don't generally hang out with dumb people, so... Wait, except for me of course."

"Of course," she exhales and sweetly kisses me on the cheek. _Hey!_

"You will have to tell me how it all went with them today," she states as I continue looking through the jungle that is my handbag.

"Why don't I let you have your hand back," she chuckles and she removes her hand from mine and places a finger through one of the belt loops of my jeans, which in some way comforts me greatly. _She isn't going anywhere._

I finally find my keys and I open the door. "Hmm, not much to tell on that front, I was out all day, Steve however..." I trail off as I close the door behind us. I place my hand on her lower back urging her forward and into the house. She seems a little tentative.

"Smells like boys doesn't it," I laugh, and I watch her slowly scout the room. There isn't much decor in our house, but she manages to walk around the living area, slowly, sliding her finger along every surface, taking it all in. I am wasting time watching her so I walk across the room, and from the corner of my eye I see her slowly make her way over in my direction before I reach my bedroom. I go straight to my dresser and start to pilfer through the copious amounts of bras and underwear I have collected. I have no idea what I'm looking for, but I don't anticipate her seeing my underwear tonight, but I can't help the need to choose the nicest ones. As I lift up each bra individually and I suddenly l hear a creak on the wooden floor. _She is in your room._

"The lacy blue one," I hear, and I don't turn around as I suddenly feel a little flushed. I just know my face is bright red, and with my ghostly complexion it would be frightfully obvious thing to see.

"So what exactly should I be wearing on this date tonight?" I ask as I try to shake the fact that Holly just chose my underwear, and I hear my mattress strings spring. _She is on your bed._

"You need to be really comfortable. I'd even suggest wearing sweats."

"Gee, how glamorous. What the hell are we doing?" I laugh.

"Never you mind," she sighs and I hear her slump backwards onto my bed. "Oh wow!" she exclaims and for a second I think she is referring to the pair of plain cotton briefs I pulled out of my draw. _That can't be right._

"That is stunning," she says and she abruptly moves about on my bed and I hear two thuds, so I turn around and see her kneeling on my bed, with her shoes off. "I mean that one is too, but, this one, wow!" she says pointing to one of two photographs that hang above the head of my bed.

"Gail, you have a naked lady on your wall," she says cheekily, and I watch her hand stroke her jaw as she pensively takes in the photograph.

"It's called art, Holly," I say as I approach the bed and sit on the edge next to the bedside table which doubles as my sock drawer. "There is a naked man too," I state, for some reason I need to emphasise this fact.

"I know, I saw it, it's beautiful," she says but her eyes gaze almost immediately back to the other one.

"I love this kind of abstract photography. Are they prints? Where did you buy them?" she asks. "I'd love this on my wall." _Would you now?_

My hands start to sweat as I remove a pair of socks from my draw. "Um, no they are the originals, I didn't buy them either." I nervously admit and I wonder if she will be the first to ever figure it out.

"Huh," she breathes out and she relaxes back down into the bed and looks at me. I can't tell if she is waiting for me to say something or if that brain of hers is putting two and two together. I watch her eyes start to slowly close together as she squints at me. To my surprise she stands up on my bed and leans against the wall very close to the photograph.

"That's you isn't it?" she asks quickly looking down at me, before looking straight back at it again. "This stunning photo is of you."

I tug on her jacket, "not so close, Lunchbox," and she smiles but stays put.

"Were you a model?" she asks and I open my mouth to speak. "Of course you were. Look at you,"

"No, I was not a model!" I huff. "This was a once off," I say and she nods in acknowledgement.

"Was it awkward to do? Having someone study you so closely like this?"

"No more awkward than you right now with your face up in my business," I laugh.

"Funny," she jibes.

"Actually no, it wasn't awkward seeing as I was the only one in the room. Take a look at the fine print on the bottom left corner of the matt." I tell her, and she curiously leans in even closer to it, squinting as she takes her glasses off.

"GP, two thousand and four," she says, and she drops back down into the bed and looks at me in amazement. "How?" she asks as she puts back on her glasses.

"You remember when I told you Friday night that my mother made it hard for me to have any free time to myself and if I did do an anything I had to do it in secret?"

"Yeah..."

"Secret," I say as I point to the photographs. "I went to school part time for about a year to study photography when I was 19," I reveal.

"You really are Annie Leibovitz," she says in disbelief and I can't help but laugh. _Ha hardly_.

"These were some of the last pictures I took, in fact, developed, before mum found out, then I quit," I say and she sighs loudly. "She is the only one who ever knew about it, well now except for you." _You should feel special lol_.

"You haven't taken a photo since, have you?" she says as if she knows me so well, and I nod slowly.

"Such a shame," she says shaking her head in disappointment. _Come on it's not that bad._

I hop off the bed taking my pair of socks with me as I grab my underwear and bra from my dresser, the one she so helpfully picked out for me. "Yeah well, I'm a cop now, and I love my job, so... I'm going to take a shower, back in a few.

"Okay, while you do that, I'm just going to go pilfer through your stuff. I think it's only fair," she says, referring to when I did the same to her at the lake house. I stand behind her as she lies back and leans her head against the railing at the foot of the bed and stares up at the wall. _Okay, you really are a perv now._

"Sure you are..." I say sarcastically. "More likely you're just gonna sit there and look at my partially exposed breast in that photograph aren't you?" I quip as I approach the bedroom door.

"We are even then. You've seen mine," she directly implies and I stop in the doorway and put my hands on either side of the doorframe, underwear dangling. I close my eyes tightly. _Oh crap!_

"Don't think I didn't notice you peak down my top the night you asked me out." _Well, they were right there in front of me!_


	24. Chapter 22

My hands grip the edge of the bathroom sink as I watch through foggy mist, the condensation dripping slowly down the mirror, which in turn obstructs my view of our reflections. I close my eyes and take a moment and breathe in deeply in nervous anticipation as I hear her ever so slowly approach me from behind. My skin is burning from the incandescent heat that was my shower and surely anything that touches me right now will go up in flames. If I stand completely still I can feel the light tickling sensation of the remnant water trickling slowly down my body. What was is that Holly had said about these kinds of sensations? I feel her breath against my neck, as she reminds me, whispering in my ear, her breath creating a cooling effect from the different temperature against my searing skin. Who knew nerd speak was so hot? Or cold in this case.

I draw in a staggered breath as she blows air around my neck and across my shoulders making my fingers curl tighter around the edge of the sink. I bite my bottom lip, my teeth almost piercing the thin layer of skin, as she carefully ventures down my spine with her finger, teasing the excess water, touching each vertebrae with the appreciation and care that she does her own work. She gently takes hold of my waist with both hands and lightly rubs circles around the dimples of my lower back, before stepping closer and moving her hands up the sides of my ribs, and she traces the undersides of my breasts with her fingers, causing my head to fall backwards simultaneously. Her hands come back to rest around my waist and I close my eyes and turn around, adjusting my hand positions and grip on the sink, her now lose fingers graze the soft skin of my abdomen as I rotate within her hands. I lean back and the porcelain is cold against my lower skin, bringing some wanted relief from this current state of torture she has induced in every nerve ending in my body. She slides her hands slowly down, her thumbs grazing the sensitive area around my hipbones, and I jerk at the contact. I feel a rush of cool air around my belly button as her hands travel down to my thighs caressing them firmly. My legs nearly give out on me as she reaches my knees, but she continues bit by bit, running lines down my calves to my ankles, brushing the water to the floor. I open my eyes and look down at her and her eyes fix on mine as she silently asks me to step into my underwear. She languidly starts to edge them up, while her thumbs glide against the insides of my legs with a conscious determination. I involuntarily moan as she reaches up my inner thighs, pulling them higher, and as the pressure builds within my..

"Gail?"

My hand suddenly slips backwards on the sink knocking the cup with my toothbrush to the floor. "Jesus fucking Christ!" I bite my tongue.

"Gail, are you okay in there?"

A state of panic starts to set in and it takes me a moment to adjust to my surroundings and for my legs to regain any balance they may have just lost. I step over to the bathroom door and I grab the closest towel, just incase she decides to let herself in, because I wouldn't put it past her. When Holly worries, she really worries.

"Gail?" she repeats.

I still can't answer. I fall rather loudly back against the door, hugging the towel to my chest. An involuntary shiver rocks through my whole body as I recall what just happened to me. _That was um... new._

"Babe, your phone is ringing," she alerts me to my surprise. _Wait, did she just babe me?_

"Did you just 'babe' me?" I call out through the door.

"I thought that would get your attention," she laughs.

I don't know why I am calling her out on that. I called her my girlfriend yesterday, even if it was just to get my point across with added emphasis, or who knows, maybe it was wishful thinking, but she didn't bat an eyelid.

"Did you want me to answer it?" she asks rolling her fingers on the door and I feel the vibrations through my back.

"Ugh y-yes, please," I stammer as I go back over to the sink and turn the cold tap on. _Please don't be my mother._ I rub the mirror with the palm of my hand. "Gail, get a grip!" I tell myself and I stare intently at my rather flushed red face, which seems to be it's permanent colour of late.

"Gail? It was Traci. You left your purse in Steve's car today, she is going to be here in about ten minutes, okay?" she shouts as I splash water on my face.

"Great," I quietly mumble, burrowing my head in my towel.

I frantically look for my bra, finding it where I left it. _OMG! I am so disorientated right now._ I quickly try and put it on, fumbling my way around the clasp at the back. I wonder if I will be this inept when the time comes I have to deal with Holly's bra. _It's you; of course you are going to suck_. "Shit!" I exclaim as I suddenly realise I forgot to bring a change of clothes into the bathroom. Or maybe subconsciously... "Okay, shut up Gail," I tell myself. _Do I even do subconsciously? And when exactly did I put my underwear on?_

"Gail are you talking to yourself in there?"

"Shit! Maybe. I forgot to bring my clothes in," I blurt out.

"So what? Come out and get them then," she says matter-of-factly.

So? _So she says?_

"I mean in a towel Gail, if that wasn't obvious to you," she huffs. It wasn't. "I promise I won't jump you..." she pauses, "much," she adds a few seconds later.

I wrap the towel around my body and fasten it carefully. I don't want any mishaps. I adjust my bra straps as I stand in front of the door and I wonder if she is still out there, ready to pounce _. She just lives to torture me today._

I open the door slowly, and I see her standing directly opposite me, leaning casually against the wall, her hands down flat against it like she is gripping on, but with no success. "I heard that you know," I acknowledge and I gulp. Her mouth is slightly ajar and she not so subtly runs her tongue along the bottom edge of her teeth, grazing her top lip at the same time. _Oh god_. As the tension builds and the knot in my stomach gets tighter, I slowly edge myself along the opposite wall. _Maybe she is really going to jump me._

"Boo!" She yells jumping towards me and she bursts out laughing. I find myself running into the bedroom and closing the door behind me and I hear her laugh slowly fade.

I quickly walk backwards from the door and fall onto bed. I wrestle my towel off because I am so fucking hot and I throw it on the floor, leaving me just in my underwear.

"What is happening to me?" I question as I cover my eyes with the topside of my hands.

The door bursts open, and I don't move. "Look, Gail, I... fuck," is all I hear before the door closes again, and I peak out from under my hand to check if she is actually gone.

"Fuck!" that sounds just about right.

* * *

I hear a knock on my bedroom door. "Gail, it's Traci, can I come in?"

"Yeah, whatever, I was just getting dressed," I sigh as I sit up from the position I'd been laying in for the last fifteen minutes, fully clothed. Traci opens the door and walks over to the bed with a really weird look on her face. _Here we go, what do you want?_

"Gail, I know it's none of my business, and we haven't really had a chance to catch up, but you have to go out there," she says pointing towards the door and I roll my eyes and flop back onto the bed. "Holly is pulling her hair out. She thinks she scared you away with her 'interminable teasing', was how she put it," Traci says using air quotes and I note the look of confusion on her face as I lift my head up towards my chest.

I quickly sit up again, and seriously contemplate telling her that yes, it really is none of her business, but I can't. What's the point? I really don't want to dig myself into more of a hole here. "She didn't scare me, Traci. I scared myself," I admit and she strokes my arm. "I -I, there's," I stutter, "feelings," I continue, "too many god damn feelings," i express and I look at her through innocent eyes. She smiles at me in a smug way that tells me she knows this fact already. She stands up in front of me shaking her head and chuckles as she holds her hands out in front of me, so I take them and she pulls me up off the bed. She turns me around by the shoulders and marches me over towards the door.

"She's just nervous, Gail," Traci reveals as I reach for the doorknob.

"What?" I ask as I stop in my tracks.

"She has never been this nervous around someone in her entire life." _That's her acting nervous? What the hell must I look like then?_

"She told you that?" I ask, and she nods.

"That girl can talk! At least you will always know what she is thinking. C'mon. Get out there and be nervous and awkward together," she quips and she leans around me and nudges the door open pushing me through it.

For a moment I catch Holly smiling at Steve as they sit on the couch talking, but I watch it quickly disappear when she looks up and notices me. I walk over to the lounge and Holly stands up brushing her pants, trying to avoid any eye contact with me. _I must have really scarred you with my semi nakedness_. "I thought you were in the car," Traci says to Steve as she sits down next to him and he shrugs his shoulders.

I gradually make my way over to where Holly is standing. I want to apologise for acting like a crazy person, but there is people around so I grab her hand that is hanging between us instead, and I don't let go. It doesn't take her long before she squeezes it, rubbing her thumb over my knuckle. She knows I don't do words very well. I'm sure she will teach me though, I suppose in a way she already has.

"What were you guys talking about?" I ask.

"I just asked him how exactly he found out about us, but he wouldn't tell me."

"Good," I pout.

"Good? Why is that good," she asks.

"It's embarrassing, now shhh!" I tell her quietly and I watch Steve and Traci eyeball each other in surprise. _Yes, that's right! I know what you guys said!_

Holly looks to Steve and Traci for answers again, but they are too busy gawking curiously at me.

"Did you see us? That first morning on the jetty?" Holly asks them and they say nothing. _Oh god._

"Okay, so it was the next night then, when we were playing on the couch?" she insists sounding so sure of her self and they laugh and shake their heads and I smack my hand into my forehead.

"Seriously nerd, you have to shut up now," I giggle into her shoulder, almost biting her jumper.

"At the park in..." Is all she gets out while laughing, before I cover her mouth with my hand.

"Okay now you are just doing it on purpose," I tell her. "If you shut up, I might tell you later," I whisper in her ear.

"You guys were just running around like a couple of teenagers weren't you?" Traci laughs.

"We were not. Weren't you guys leaving?" I ask angrily and I subtly suggest with the movement of my eyes that they should start moving towards the door or else risk an ass kicking. _My eyes speak volumes it seems._

"You should probably give Holly the ability to speak again," Steve's cautions as he pulls Traci up and they walk over towards the front door.

"Not until you two have gone," I say but Holly removes my hand from her mouth for me, and steps away.

"Lunchbox, where are you going?" I ask, sounding like a possessive child.

"I was going to walk them out?" she says with a smile and holds her hand out to me. "Coming?"

"Um, no, those losers can walk themselves out," I sneer and she walks through the door after them, but turns back and pauses for a moment.

"Good then. Will give me a chance to ask them more questions," she announces, poking her tongue out and slamming the door.

"Ah... Shit! Whatever," I mumble and I walk to the bedroom and grab my handbag and go back out to the couch. I take out my compact and look closely at my face in the tiny mirror. I don't think I can be bothered doing much to this face tonight. I am wearing sweat pants on a date, how fancy can it be after all? I grab my lipstick and take off the lid and as I go to press it against my bottom lip I hear the front door open and slam shut, and I jump in the air in shock.

"Your dead," she smirks at me as she leans back against the door.

"Well so are you! Look what you did to my face!" I trumpet as I turn my head to her revealing the big line of lipstick up the side of my cheek. "I look like a freaking clown!" I exclaim and she laughs and walks over and into the bathroom.

"I hate clowns," she says as she walks out again with tissues in her hand. "Let me," she says as she sits down and takes a steady hold of my chin.

"You didn't spit on that tissue like my mother would did you?" I cheekily smile, but she doesn't look away from the task at hand.

"You could have talked to me about it you know," she says as she dabs the side of my lip.

"I know, but I wanted to save yourself the embarrassment. Your hand was down my pants after all." I state and she pauses and looks me in the eye and bursts out laughing.

"Ha! Yes, I would have like to have lived happily the rest of my life not knowing that, thank you."

"If you had waited a few more minutes I would have told you myself. Instead, no, you had to go running outside after them and embarrass yourself" I say sarcastically and she tries to stop my head from moving with her other hand.

"You want some more lipstick on that face of yours?" She threatens.

"You don't like clowns, and you're the one who has to look at me for the next couple of hours so you better not," I smirk.

She releases my chin from her grip and I look in the mirror, pick up the lipstick again and I start to reapply. I see her fidgeting with the tissues out the corner of my eye. "I know that's not what you meant and I'm sorry," I say, "I was acting like a nutcase, it just you make me feel..." I pause momentarily "I've been a complete basket case all day really," I admit as I purse my lips into the mirror. "You know I put pepper in my cup of tea during work today. Like physically picked up the grinder and ground it into my tea. It was crazy." I exclaim and I feel her chuckle next to me. "I was out at lunch with Steve and yeah, talk about embarrassing. Can I have one of those tissues?" I ask and I take one from her hand and start blotting my lips with it.

"What did Steve say?" She asks and she starts to rip and fold the other tissue into some sort of origami type thing.

"He totally called me out, and said I was thinking about you." _Shit you have put you foot in it now. "_ Then he proceeded to laugh at me until the end of the shift, and if he would see me staring at basically anything that wasn't my work he would make cracks at me. It wasn't fun. I was just about ready to kill him before shift ended."

"And what exactly were you thinking about when you thought of me?" She says weakly and innocently looks me eye, and I can't look away.

"Stuff." I say cautiously.

"Stuff?" She repeats and I just nod and she goes back to folding. _What is she making?_ "Were you thinking about stuff in the bathroom before," she says with a slight crinkle at the corner of her mouth, which catches me off guard, and I feel my face turn the brightest colour of red that probably has ever existed on the planet.

"Jesus, would you look at the time," I say as I look at the single small freckle on my wrist where my watch should be and I stand up as she laughs at me.

She grabs my wrist and pulls me back down. "Calm down you nut," she teases. "I can beat that you know," She says as she continues folding. _That better not be a cat she is making._

"Beat what?" I ask.

"The pepper in the tea thing," she says and I turn towards her on the sofa and lift one of my legs up and get comfortable. "At home today, I was writing a follow up report on one of my cases about, let's just say, some bugs and some bones and then some stuff happened when they were together" she laughs, and I so do I, as I appreciate the her attempt to dumb it down for me. A lot. "This report was due by four PM, right? So I started writing by one PM, and I then proceeded to write the exact same summary paragraph, not twice, but three times," she exclaims holding three fingers up, "which I luckily caught by the end, but this isn't even the embarrassing part. I sent the report off to my boss and the Forensic Entomologist via email at three thirty and by four o'clock I had received a three-worded reply back from my boss. Can you guess what it said?" She says and I stare at her blankly. "No you can't, because this is ten times as crazy as your pepper thing."

"Okay, I am hanging by the seat of my pants here, what did it say?" I laugh.

"It said 'who is Gail?' So I'm thinking that is a little weird. Why the hell would she ask me that as I have yet to mention you to her? So my first thought is perhaps your friends gossiped at work and some how it had made it over the morgue, but of course that's ridiculous. Your friends wouldn't do that, right?" she questions and I nod vigorously, "that's what I thought, so I email back saying Gail is the woman I am dating, blah blah," she says and she takes a deep breath. _I am blah am I?_

"And?"

"And my boss replies telling me I," she stops and holds a finger up in front of her face, "sorry!" she says as she buries her head into her chest trying not to laugh and I wait for her to regain her composure. "So she tells me I referred to you twice in my report by name, where really I should have been referring to Calliphora vomitoria," she says and she watches me for a reaction. "It's a type of blow fly?" _Oh wow. Don't react._

"I'm sorry, will you excuse me for a moment," I say and I watch her mouth fall open at my non-reaction. I stand up and look around until I see what I am looking for and I walk over to the kitchen table where Holly had left my phone.

"What are you doing?" she asks as she scratches her head.

I walk towards the coffee table and conveniently stand across from her with the table between us as a buffer. "I am calling my brother. He needs to know that there is someone crazier in this world than me." I laugh I press 1 for speed dial.

"As if. No, your not," she states resolutely shaking her head.

"Um, yeah! I think I am! See this finger? And this green button?" I tease as I move my finger back and forth towards it.

"Gail," she says sternly. "No! Your not! Seriously?" she questions as her anger builds and I step backwards.

"Seriously" I nod in affirmation and I press the green button and hold my hands up with the phone and laugh. "Ta da!"

"Okay, give it to me," she insists as i hold it to my ear.

"Now that's just dirty!" I point out.

"Shut up," she says as she suddenly jumps over the coffee and launches herself at me and I start running towards the kitchen, but she grabs me by the shirt pulling me into her body as I hold my arm out in front of me so she can't reach the phone, but I am fighting a losing battle because she quickly takes hold of my hand that is gripped around it, while she pants in my ear from exhaustion. "You have freakishly long arms you know that, Lunchbox?" I exert and I try and bring any form of oxygen back into my lungs as I wrestle with her arm while I try to escape from the tight hold she has around my waist with her other one. "I really don't want to use my training and kick you in the balls." I laugh and my legs fall out from under me as she knees me in the back of my own knees. We fall to the floor with her hand still firmly tightly wound around mine and the phone and it takes all my strength to flip her over and pin her arms beside her head while I straddle her.

"Can you hear that?" she asks curiously as her eyes dart around the room and her head eventually falls sideways towards the phone in our hands. I lean forward over her, her face now extremely close to mine as we listen for a voice on the other end.

"Um, Steve, she will have to call you back," she giggles and I hang up and I drop the phone almost immediately. I move back slightly from her head and we both burst out laughing, uncontrollably, and I fight the need to breath. "I knew my combat training would come in handy" I say, expelling what little air I have left in my chest. _Cocky much?_ Before I know it, Holly flips our positions and our hands hit the floor viciously above my head. "Ouch!" we yell in unison and we both start to laugh again and she sinks down closer to me so our bodies touch.

As we look into each others eyes our laughter starts to gradually diminish into soft giggles and then the occasional chuckle. I listen to both our labored breathes out of time with each other as my chest rises quickly in and out in front of my eyes as it comes in contact with her own. She bites her bottom lip, a sure fire sign she is about to do or say something and I watch her tentatively close half the distance between our faces, but she hesitates and edges back slightly, so I take the initiative and lift my head off the floor, closing the distance myself and she shuts her eyes as our lips finally touch. When our breathing syncs in time with each other after that initial meeting, I pull away and rest my head back down on the floor. I smile at her and she smiles back with her eyes. _What is she thinking about I wonder?_ I notice her hands start to shake on in mine on the floor above my head, and her chest draws back deeply, losing contact with my own and she stops breathing as she slightly opens her mouth to say something. _Okay, seriously, you have to breathe again._

"I hate it when I'm not around you," she whispers and my heart stops, "I don't like the word hate, but in this case there is no other word for it. I really do hate it."

I don't know how, but suddenly everything in front of me seems new. New friend, new family, new sights, new sounds, new smells, new information, new words, even more new words, new memories, new meaning, new understanding (when did I become so deep?) and more importantly new feelings; and there seems to be a lot of those. All different and surprising in their own way.


	25. Chapter 23

I really hate how my ass looks in these sweatpants!

I put my hairbrush on top of the dresser and I turn to Holly who is lying in the middle of my bed with her back up against the headboard, while she plays with her phone. Look at her! She makes sweatpants look good! Or maybe I am suddenly biased when it comes to anything 'Holly'? I cock my head sideways and study her some more. Nope! Pretty sure it's just a fact. _She looks hot_ _! Period!_

"May I help you with something?" she coaxes, playfully smirking, not taking her eyes away from her phone.

"What do I have to do for you, _or to you_ , so you to tell me why I look like a gym junkie has thrown up on me?" I inquire as I tie my hair back into a loose, somewhat, messy ponytail.

She drops her phone beside her on the bed and puts her hand up into a V shape under her chin and cheekily taps her finger against her cheek. "Hmm, that's going to take some serious thought on my part. What could you do for me..." she ponders.

"Holly!" I warn and she raises her hands in the air.

"Fine!" she concedes. "Though I will take a rain check on that at a later date!" she assures me with a heavy sigh. "You are wearing them because you need to have something comfortable and warm to sleep in."

"Because, I... Okay? I'm confused, I didn't realise I wasn't coming home tonight," I say as I place my hands on my hips and she starts to look a little rattled.

"I'm not some sort of creeper, okay?" she simpers.

"Okay..." I laugh. "What on earth are you on about?"

"I called Traci earlier and asked her what shift you were on tomorrow, and she said afternoon 'til late. So, I just thought... I promise, it's totally above board and will be worth all the pain of wearing sweatpants out in public!" she informs me. At this point I am not sure why I even asked, she basically had me at 'creeper'. She is so weird. _Why is her face so scru_ _nchy?_

"Okay, you have to stop stressing! I don't want that big nerd brain of yours to get damaged and not remember me in the morning," I laugh.

She shakes her head vigorously. "Nope, pretty sure you are probably permanently engrained in there," she says adamantly.

"Is that a scientific fact?"

She puffs some air out her mouth and throws her head back slightly. "Yeah, totally," she grins. "Who knew sweatpants would be such a deal breaker," she harps, rolling her eyes. _Yeah you better take note for future outings! "_ I better take note of that for any future outings," she states to my amusement. _You good little mind reader, you._

I turn back around to my dresser and start rummaging through my bottom dresser drawer. "What if I put some shorts on like these," I say as I pull out one of the smallest pairs of shorts I own, and hold them out in front of my hips as I sway side to side, "forego the sweats and wear my jeans over these, then I can strip down later. Would that work? Or for your sanity do you need me to be fully clothed for you to sleep tonight? You will be there to keep me warm, right?" I snicker.

"I -I, yes, I suppose that would work" she responds, her face going slightly red as she sinks down from the headboard until her head hits the pillow.

I walk over to the side of the bed and throw my shorts at her face and I sit down and lean over on one arm, resting a hand on the other side of her legs.

"You really are quite cute when you're nervous and flustered, you know that, Nerd?"

"So lately that's basically a 24/7 thing?" she groans as she pushes her glasses to the top of her head and rubs her eyes then slowly looks up at me, blinking adorably.

"Mmm..." I murmur as I get on my hands and knees and crawl over her and her body immediately tenses underneath me. "Relax would you?"

"Can't," she says as she sucks in her bottom lip and scratches her nose axiously.

Her phone starts to ring on the bed beside us, and it almost looks like she breathes a sigh of relief, thankful for the interruption. I lean over sideways and look at the caller ID. "It's your new boyfriend," I tease as I hover back above her head.

"New boyfriend?" she queries, so she picks up her phone, reads the ID and sniggers. She looks me in the eye while she answers the phone, brushing a rogue hair behind my ear with her other hand.

"Hi Chris," she says cheerily and I pull a face at her and she chuckles and shakes her head at me.

"No, no, now is fine, what's up?" she asks and I give her my icy glare, the one she loves so much, but I get the same reaction.

"Uh huh," she says and I lean closer and hover around her lips, brushing my nose against her own, but she puts her hand up over my mouth to stop me from what ever she thinks I was about to do next.

"So rude!" I mumble through her fingers. I remove her hand from over mouth and grab hold of her arm and pin it beside her head.

"That sounds like fun," she says and I partially unzip her sweatshirt down from her neck with one hand. The look of surprise momentarily on her face is priceless, but she raises her eyebrows at me and shakes her head again, shifting the phone slightly away from her mouth. "I know what you are doing," she whispers and I smirk. _Do you now?_

I lower myself down with my arms and she draws in a deep breath as I softly press kisses across her collarbone and I feel her arm wriggle beneath my hand. "Chris, I'm not sure id be any good at that," she sighs as she turns her head to the side exposing her neck. Her breathing starts to audibly increase as I start to pepper kisses around the two freckles around the bottom of her neck. I pull up and watch her chest rise in and out beneath me while as she watches me back closely. "I'm sure I can come for a few beers, but..." she says as I lean back down closer to her lips, but she quickly turns her face away smiling as I attempt to kiss her again. _You little..._

"Fine," I whisper in her ear, before softly biting her earlobe. "I can be interminable with my teasing too," I continue as I push off the bed taking my shorts with me.

I turn away from her and start to gradually edge my sweatpants down my legs and let them fall to my ankles, and then I slowly step out of them. "Chris I -I," she stutters, and I decide to leave them on the floor, bending over at this point is probably not the greatest idea or very lady like of me. _Yeah, good one idiot!_ "Yes, I realise Gail won't be there," I hear her say and I turn around and laugh when I see her glasses are back over her eyes and her hand is swept across her forehead and she takes a very large gulp. I step into my shorts and pull them up around my waist. I lift up my shirt a little higher than I should, who am I kidding? A lot higher than I should, partially exposing the blue lace bra she so kindly picked out for me, so I can see and tie the drawstrings of my shorts. She clambers her way back up the bed so she is leaning against the headboard again. _Yes I know I am so evil and I am enjoying this way too much._

"Chris, I have to go, but I'll try and come around by five tomorrow afternoon," she says and she quickly hangs up as I pull up my jeans and she tosses her phone on to the bed in disbelief. "You are... not a nice person," she pouts and I shrug my shoulders.

"So I've been told," I agree.

She scoots down the bed, moving to the edge and sits there as she composes herself for a moment and I put on fresh hoodie.

"How's your boyfriend?" I ask as I sit down beside her.

"Really good, I have a date with him tomorrow, I hope that's okay?" she wonders and I shrug my shoulders again. "Chris invited me over here tomorrow afternoon for his and Dov's gaming party?"

"Ah yes, it's horrible and loud and goes all night," I rumble.

"I said I might come over for a few drinks. That's not too weird for you is it? I know you won't be there so, say the word and I can get out of it," she insists.

"My friends are going to end up liking you more than me anyway, so they may as well start now. I mean Chris is already in love with you, obviously," I say as I roll my eyes and she elbows me in the arm.

"Yeah well, I can't blame the guy, I am pretty awesome," she gloats as she takes off her glasses and starts cleaning them with her sweatshirt. _I agree._ I lean over and kiss her on the cheek to her surprise. "What was that for?" she asks.

"For being awesome." I reply and I begin to put my boots on. "Actually, tomorrow night, I was going to ask if I could..." I pause as I pull my second boot on and decide whether or not this actually is a good idea.

"If you could?" she says, urging me to finish my current chain of thought.

"Crash at your place? I'm going to be wiped after I finish at two in the morning, and as I said, it's going to be quite noisy back here, so... shit! I..." _Is that asking too much?_

"You can crash," she interrupts, "I will only stay there for a couple of drinks, so I will be back pretty early. I will most likely be asleep by that time, so you will have to let yourself in. I have to get up at four AM to catch a plane."

"Trying to escape from me already? Where are you going?" I ask as I reposition myself on the bed so I am facing her.

"New York, for a conference. I only got the go ahead this afternoon." _Why does this sound familiar?_

"Is this the Crimes Against Women conference?" I ask.

"Yeah, that's the one." _Oh, Christ._

"And I suppose you are presenting something?" I assume.

"Not really, I am going to be part of a couple of panels with seven other people I think, I don't know all the details, but my boss and I and a few detectives and higher ups are all coming in from Toronto to answer questions about how we do things here. We are superior after all. Where did you hear about it?" she asks.

"My mother has spoken about it." I say as I scratch my head and suddenly start smiling. This is so typical.

"What you smiling about?" she asks and I grin and shake my head.

"You are going to have such a great time with my mother!" I laugh and she looks at me with wide eyes as the blood drains from her face as her mouth drops open.

"The higher ups?" I remind her. "It's actually quite likely she even chose you for this," I tell her as I rest my hand under her chin to close her jaw shut.

"But why would she do that?" Holly says dumbfounded. "Does she have the gift of foresight like you? I got the invitation weeks ago," she laughs.

"No, you noob. In Toronto, are you one of the best in your field?" I ask.

"I spose..." she draws out.

"Well there you go then. You got Pecked. Get it? Pecked/picked?" I say as I slap my thigh. _I'm so funny sometimes, even if I immediately explain my jokes._

"Why are you laughing right now? You should be freaking out like me," she says as she rubs her temples like she got an instant headache.

"Well I'm not the one who has to hang around her for... wait, how long is it?" I ask.

"Four days, oh god," she exhales as she comes to the realisation that her world may end and she the falls backwards on to the bed."

"Four days is a hell of a long time to be around a Peck, especially my mother," I state. Me however, ah who am I kidding? I am probably just as bad.

"Does your mother talk about you guys a lot?" she whines. _What does that mean?_

"Yes, incessantly. What's that got to do with anything? She doesn't know who or what you mean to me," I announce, a little surprised at my choice of words.

"Well anytime she mentions your name all I'm going to be doing is picturing you in your underwear. Then I will get all embarrassed and she will think I a complete lunatic."

"That's an interesting admission," I laugh.

"Well it's all I have been thinking about the past thirty minutes, and I am assuming it will continue for the next five days until I see you again or I see something better," she's giggles with a very pained look on her face, then she covers her face with her hands.

"Whatever gets you through, babe," I laugh and she lifts her head up off the bed.

"Babe?" she questions.

"Trying it on for size," I answer.

"And?" she continues.

"Yeah, don't like it. I prefer nerd," I tell her.

"Mmm..."

"Maybe I can engrain some new memories into that filthy brain of yours before you leave," I say as I crawl on top of her again.

"And what precisely does that entail, Officer Peck?"

"I am not entirely sure, we will see where the night takes us," I say as I lean down and kiss her as hard as humanly possible and she takes a firm grip of the belt loops of my jeans and pulls my body down on top of her.

A door slams shut. "Gail, you home?" I hear called from the other room, and I suddenly pause while she lets go of the grip she had on my bottom lip with her teeth.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me. The world hates me today," I proclaim and I look down at her as she grins at me like a goofy child.

"Yup, that'll do it," she laughs. "I think that's our queue to make a move," she says as she pushes me up by the shoulders until I am practically standing.

_"_ I thought I was making a move," I mumble, but it barely registers with her.

"Grab a pillow, will you? I forgot to bring an extra one," she says and I do what she asks and we walk out into the living room where Dov is already sitting on the couch with a beer.

"Hey Dov, how's Chloe doing?" Holly asks.

"Hey guys, didn't realise you were here," he smiles. "Holly, she is doing great! She should be home in no time." _Just not here I hope._

"That's great news, Dov," she says with genuine relief and excitement, a trait that I severely lack, but admire in her. I grab my handbag and her hand and I lead her to the front door.

"What have you guys been up to," he says cheekily as he turns around and hangs over the edge of the sofa with a toothy grin. Well it only took nine hours for the pervy comments to start. Something I will have to get used to I suppose, doesn't mean I can't have a little fun.

"What the hell does it look like Dov?" I say as I open the front door and look back at him. "We were obviously having mind blowing sex on your bed, you silly little twat," I tease and I close the door behind us.

"Gail, was that absolutely necessary?" she complains as she leans against the wall.

"One sec," I tell her as I drop her hand and open the front door again. "Hey Dov?" I say as I try and grab his attention away from nothing, because he is staring into space while still hanging over the back of the sofa, his eyes eventually flicking back to me. "I thought you should know that I also did very naughty things to her in the shower, then I took her roughly again on the dining room table. You down with that?" I ask and before he can let out a breathe of air I close the door again.

"I have to look him in the eye tomorrow, Gail!" Holly softly shouts at me as soon as I turn to her. She throws her hands up in the air and walks away from me laughing. Whether or not it's one of those fake pained laughs, I can't tell. "What on earth have I gotten myself into?" she mumbles.

"Nothing good," I laugh. "You have lipstick all over your mouth by the way, just thought you should know."


	26. Chapter 24 a)

_Be a better person._

I am seriously trying my hardest not be my mother right now. Possessive and vindictive, two traits of hers I realise I have inherited in spades. Well maybe not so much of the possessiveness, but at this particular moment it's hard not to think about these things. _She's mine_. Why couldn't I be more like my father? It would be a lot easier. Reserved, laid back. Forgiving even. You would have to be that and a whole lot more to have put up with my mother for all these years. Surely there must be some sort of affection there behind closed doors. There would have to be, otherwise why bother? I wonder if people think the same about me and my relationships? I mean, what does it say about Holly's character if she is planning on putting up with me for any of the foreseeable future? Is she some weird-ass narcissist who enjoys being around misery? Wait, I have digressed.

Ugh, too many stressful thoughts rolling around this brain of mine. And now because of Holly, I even know why this bad for me. She says stress increases the level of the hormone cortisol, and if there is prolonged exposure to cortisol, my brain cells basically excite themselves to death, which actually causes the most damage within my hippocampus where my memories are stored. If this the case, perhaps I should just keep stressing then, maybe it will wipe what I am currently seeing from my exponentially shrinking brain. My god, look what she is doing to me!

I always feel the need to make a scene though. It just seems to come naturally to me. Just as natural as that stupid smile that's plastered across Holly's face right now. If there were an award for this kind of stuff, I'd totally win it. Gail Peck, winner of best-sure-fire-way-to-fuck-up-a-date.

_Hey, Holly, look over here! If you could see my eyes right now you'd see they have probably changed from the lovely shade of blue you like to stare at so much, to black, the colour of your impending death. But you can't can you_ _? B_ _ecause you are not wearing your stupid glasses_ _! Actually they are not stupid, I am actually really quite fond of them._

I pick up the glass of water in front of me in hopes of taking a calming sip. Like water could ever be calming to me, seriously? _I need vodka, like now!_ The waiter interrupts, and hands me some menus but I completely ignore his presence. _Move out of the way!_ I open up one of the menus to distract myself from the events that are currently doing my head in over at the bar. I don't know if eating Mexican right now is going to do great things to my already red complexion, or the fact that there is already steam coming out my ears. I run my eyes over the list of entrées but I find my gaze start to wander again.

"What the fuck?" Could Holly lean in any further across that bar, seriously? Why doesn't she just open up her sweatshirt and show her the woman her goods? Hair flip! That was a definite hair flip! _Maybe her hair was in her eyes_ _?_ _Maybe you should just stop looking_ _?_ I shake my head and return my attention back to the menu.

"Think nice things," I say and I laugh at the fact I am talking to myself again. Holly has made me certifiably crazy. _Puppies, kittens, Holly's long wavy_ _hair, Holly's cute pointy chin, Holly's soft hands, Holly's soft hands on my..._ that woman just put a hand on Holly's shoulder! Like right there! On her shoulder!

I find myself standing up in our booth as I see Holly turn around with our drinks. "Shit!" She's coming back. I sit straight back down and try and convince myself I wasn't about to go over there and do something stupid. _No, never! I wouldn't do that!_ The fact that I am not even drunk so I would have to remember this in the morning should always be incentive enough. Luckily she turned around when she did.

I watch her walk over to our booth with a rather large grin on her face as she holds our drinks up in the air. She definitely looks happy about something. Maybe it's because that bartender just felt her up. On the arm. _You really have lost the plot_.

"Diet coke, for the pretty lady. Enjoy, they were free," she smiles as she slides into the seat opposite me and I can't help but stare evilly over at the woman behind the bar. _Oh I bet they were_ _!_ "Man! It was loud up there, I could barely hear what that bartender was saying to me, I was about to crawl over the bar and pour the drinks myself!" I faintly hear because I am too busy shooting death rays in the bartender's direction.

"Gail?" Holly calls, trying to grab my attention. I turn my head back to her quickly. "Do I have something in my teeth?" she asks as she quickly flashes them at me and I shake my head. "Good," she sighs and I notice the relief wash over her. "That lady was staring at me strangely the whole time and I couldn't think why. Maybe it was the clothes," she scoffs as she takes a sip of her tonic water. I sit and look at her for a while and marvel at the fact that that big brain of hers did not put two and two together, and at the possibility I was seeing things. Seriously? Is she like the most oblivious person on the planet? And it seems I am the biggest loser there is for completely overreacting. I start to laugh. "I thought you were smart?" I say through my staggered breathes of laughter.

"What's so funny?" She asks as she reaches for the spice mix in the middle of the table and puts some in her mouth, amused at my own state of amusement.

"We are, I mean, you are," I fumble. "That bartender was totally flirting with you," I tell her. The look of bewilderment on her face suddenly makes me release all the jealous tension I was holding in my body.

"She was not," she attests as she takes another sip of her drink and shakes her head.

"All the shoulder touching? How much money were your drinks again?"

Because of a waiter blocking her view, Holly leans slightly towards the centre of the table, drops her glasses to her nose and looks up at the bar. We both watch as the bartender looks up from pouring some drinks and she winks our way, and I immediately look away while Holly continues to just hover there in amazement. I don't understand why she is amazed right now. Surely she knows she's a catch, right?

"Told you," I say as I casually wipe the table surface in front of me with a napkin. "Seems you are completely unaware of how beautiful you are," there I said it. I have wanted to say that all afternoon, and I finally did it. "Even if you are wearing sweats," I add.

I feel her finger under my chin, then her lips softly against my mine as she leans further across the table.

"Not interested," she says quietly in front of my face and chastely kisses me again before returning to her side of the table and then burrowing her head into her menu.

I take a deep breathe through my nose and pick up my menu. "Okay then," I mumble, a bit taken aback. "You know if you plan on trying to kiss me again tonight, you can't eat half the stuff that's on this menu. Tomatoes. Allergic, remember?" I giggle.

She drops her menu down with a thud. "Why on earth did you suggest this place then?"

"The chicken enchiladas are killer," I say.

"So basically if you're allergic, I'm allergic?" she asks and I blow her a kiss.

"Well then..." she pauses, smugly, as she goes back to perusing her options, "I guess we're both eating chicken enchiladas tonight," she smirks.

* * *

Holly pushes her empty plate into the middle of the table where mine has been sitting for nearly ten minutes. She slumps back in her seat and rubs her belly as I feel those eyes back on us again, so I look back across to the bar. "I wouldn't have taken you for the jealous type," I hear, and I look back at her and don't say a word. She sheepishly smiles at me before looking around the restaurant. "I'm surprised they let me in here at all dressed like this."

"Nick and I came here once." I state and her eyes light up at the mention of his name. Oh crap, I mentioned the ex boyfriend. On a date. That's a no no, right? Too late now. "I was dressed as a hooker and he was my pimp, so I am pretty sure you are not going to be kicked out." I advise her and she grins widely at me. "What?" I ask.

"It's just the first time you have said his name without adding 'that stupid prick' at the front of it,"

"Hmm, well, maybe I'm growing," I say as I fold my arms.

"Or moving on," she mumbles into her glass of water. _Was I supposed to hear that?_ But it's true; I don't think I have given him or Andy that much thought over the past week. If I say their names, I'm not going to explode.

* * *

"Here, I've got something for you," she says as she reaches into her bag next to her and pulls out her purse. "I probably should have given this to you at the start of our date," she scoffs.

"What? No obligatory first date, wait, second date flowers?" I say as I screw up my face. _I prefer chocolate._ She drops her purse back into her bag. "Never-mind, I lost it. _"_

"Well that's the biggest lie if I ever heard one," I say. _Yep, you put your foot it in once again, way to go_. "I am a cop you know, I'm pretty sure I know you have got something in there for me."

"Yeah a cop, not a detective," she advises with a little added sting.

"Ouch!" I say as the waiter places my dessert in front of me, and Holly says nothing. Well I guess that's that? I pick up my spoon as I start to mentally kick myself, and I notice her pick up her spoon out the corner of my eye. "Nerd, I thought you said you didn't want dessert," I protest as she sticks her spoon into my fried ice cream.

"I didn't say I didn't want yours," she says as she seductively sucks on her spoon. Is she kidding me?

I dig my spoon in and hers suddenly does the same again, but they get tangled, and I realise she is doing it on purpose. She is keeping me from my food.

"Have you ever dated anyone like me?" I ask wearily and it catches her off guard. She ceases her attack on my spoon and stares at me blankly. I take what's left in the bowl and shove it in my gob as I watch the corner of her mouth slightly curl into that adorable lopsided grin.

"You mean someone annoying?" she says with a straight face and I open my mouth to scoff, "-ly beautiful," she adds with a chuckle.

I find my hands are starting to fidget with my spoon, so I place it back in the bowl and drop my hands into my lap. "Seemingly straight, well until this point anyway," I roll my eyes.

She shakes her head. "No, I haven't," she admits, "I have had the occasional crush though, but I never acted on those feelings," she reveals as she leans back into her seat. I can tell from her body language she is waiting for my next set of questions.

"Why me and not them?" I ask and I feel my eyes start to widen, as I am not sure I even want to know or in whether in fact I am quite ready for her answer.

"I didn't like them enough to want to risk my heart getting broken," she admits straight up, and looks at me in wait of a response.

I all of a sudden feel an overwhelming sense of pressure and the room falls silent. You did this. You forced her to make this confession, now what are you going to do with this information?

"We should go," she says as she moves quickly to the edge of her seat ready to get up, waving the waiter over for the check.

"I don't want to," I mumble.

"You don't want to what?" she asks as she stands up and I look up at her searching eyes.

"Be the one who breaks your heart."


	27. Chapter 24 b)

Then don't break it.

My mind feels like it is stuck in one of those revolving doors. In an endless cycle that I can't seem to escape from; those four words continuously screaming out to me as they try and break free after every go around. But that's the thing about revolving doors isn't it? There is always an opportunity to get out, it's just whether or not you decide to grab it by the balls and move though the increasing dizziness and confusion of it all to get to the other side. So I am hopeful. Hopeful I can break free from these bad habits that have kept me trapped in here for so long. It's hard not to be when the person who gets you the most is lying beside you. Whose patience knows no end. Who pushes you in the best possible way, makes you feel more comfortable in your own skin than any friend, family or lover has ever before. Because I don't want to break her heart. She heard me. She must have believed me, because our awkward silence eventually ended when we had hoped into my car and I had watched her search through her bag and into her purse and she pulled out the one thing she had been meaning to give me earlier at dinner. I realise now I was most likely going to embarrass her, and make things terribly awkward for myself, so she stopped it before it could even happen. To spare her own feelings and mine. I can't believe a person can be that generous. She never ceases to amaze me. I know I must be incredibly frustrating to be around sometimes, but I, Gail Peck, am very grateful she is.

"Are you awake?" I whisper as I tickle her nose softly with the rose she had made me from folding the tissues she had used earlier to clean the lipstick off my face.

"I'm just resting my eyes, Gail," she moans sullenly as her nose twitches and a smile gradually creeps onto her face.

"You know my dad used to say that to me as a child, when I'd obviously woken him from sleep. It irritated the shit out of me. I don't know why I remember that."

"Well in this case it's true," she alleges and she blindly pats me on my head somewhat condescendingly like I am a child, and I turn back onto my back.

"How can you when you have all this to look at," I protest as I try and tear my attention away from the aptly folded rose to the incredible view that had left me in a state of shock and awe for the first thirty minutes after we had arrived.

"Jesus Christ!" I yell quickly, as I involuntarily jump out of my skin. I can feel Holly's body convulsing beside me in silent laughter. A laughter that has been enveloping her on and off over the past hour at my every reaction to our current surroundings.

"Perhaps bringing you here wasn't my brightest idea, I didn't realise marine life would freak you out so much," she chuckles and I relax back into the mattress.

"What are you talking about? I love Jaws! I'm just glad there is six inches of glass between us and them right now," I concede. I find myself sweeping the rose though my fingers, taking in every fold. Though my fingers are now starting to become a little tinged from the red lipstick that stains the tissue.

"I'll protect you," she promises and I feel her reassuring hand run blindly up my arm until her fingers reach my own, our hands now in clear view hovering over my chest. Our skin glimmers under the blue dappled light from what seems like a never-ending tunnel that now surrounds us. She intertwines our fingers and they slide perfectly together, and for a split second when the rays of light hit our hands it takes my breath away. I can't help but think that this would make the perfect picture. As I watch her fingers dance in mine she rolls onto her side and props herself up on her elbow and she takes me in with a heavy sigh. I find myself smirking at the thought that just popped into my head. "What are you thinking about?" she asks and our hands drop to rest on my stomach.

"I still don't believe you," I laugh and she lets go of my hand as I turn over to face her. I drop the rose between us and I watch her follow it with her eyes until it hits the mattress beneath us.

"For the seventeenth time, I did not sleep with the pool boy to gain our entry into this aquarium," she says as she drops her head into her chest in tired annoyance. _Oh how I love to annoy you!_

I open my mouth to say something, which I'm sure, was going to be witty, but her hand has already made it's way over my mouth. "But nothing," she says with pointed eyes. _She takes the bait every time._

"A friend owed me a favour, I know you find it hard to believe, but yes, I have some friends," she scoffs and she removes her hand from my mouth. Keyword being 'some', meaning not many. _Who am I to talk? I have fewer friends than she does_ , "but there was a very last minute cancellation of a large group of people, so I thought what the hell? I had called earlier about closing times and Mike, not the pool boy," she rolls her eyes, "offered it, said it was either me or no one, so there you have it. That's the run down, Officer," she finishes, and I chuckle at her need to explain herself.

"Okay, Nerd, keep your knickers on. But I definitely saw you checking out his pole."

"Gail!" she warns lowering her voice, slowly closing her eyes as she bites her bottom lip, although this time I know the intent of her lip biting has new meaning. She doesn't want to kiss me, she wants to wrap her hands around my neck and strangle me. So she takes in a cleansing breathe.

"You'd like to feed me to the sharks right about now wouldn't you," I say as I poke her in the stomach in hopes she will open her eyes again soon.

"They'd spit you out," she says. "Bitter, very bitter," she mutters as I watch her grin slowly peak out and her eyes flutter open in time to for her to see my best attempt at looking like a sad puppy dog. Though she is not falling for it. _Fine_.

"It is very cool though. I knew this place just opened, but I didn't realise they did sleepovers here. They don't come in and check up on us through the night do they?" I ask.

"Usually I think they do because of all the children, but Mike said they wouldn't tonight, so..."

"Oh I see," I say playfully wriggling my eyebrows.

"Oh you see nothing! I didn't request that they don't," she huffs and she picks up the tissue rose from beneath us, slightly embarrassed. Eek, touchy!

"At least I don't have to put that one in water," I say as she raises it to her nose as if to smell it, which makes me want to laugh.

"You see? I knew you would appreciate that," she says as she hands it back to me. I get my purse out of my bag and open it and slide the rose behind the clear plastic window.

"And the fact it's not alive is also a bonus," I add.

"What, you don't like flowers?"

"Actually I love flowers, I just don't like having to deal with them after. I am really quite lazy," I shrug.

"Well I guess I won't be asking you to water my plants while I'm away. Which reminds me" she says as she turns over and pulls out a mass amount of keys out of her bag, which hang off a silver DNA strand key ring. She wriggles a key off the loop and hands it to me. "So you can let yourself in to my place tomorrow night. I'll text you the security code."

"Um, no you will not!" I attest almost startling her, and I slip the key into the coin pocket of my jeans.

"I won't?" she asks sounding a little confused.

"You will tell me the code now and I will remember it. You shouldn't be sending that stuff out into the world. Have to keep my nerd safe," I say as I gently stroke her arm. Your nerd? _You really are becoming possessive._

"Four, seven, two, nine, eight, three. You got that?"

"Holly, if you recall, I am programmed to remember this kind of stuff." _Wait what was it again?_

"Oh, yes, your mother. The human who gave birth to you. The lady I will be spending the rest of my week with," she says and she holds her as she slumps back down onto her back, and exhales slowly. The thought of mother can do that to people.

"Aww, you'll be okay," I tell her as I edge a little closer and I rest my elbow behind her head.

"Maybe she won't talk to me?" she asks, pointing her gaze up towards me. It's almost endearing the way she just said that. Full of hope too. I really want to sugar coat it for her, but where my mother is concerned it's probably just better to tell her straight so there are no surprises.

"I'm sorry, Holly, but she will talk to you," I concede as I run my hand around the side of her face and under her chin.

"Talk at me? Because I'd be fine with that, then I wouldn't have to open my mouth."

"But you are so good at opening your mouth." I quip. "No, seriously. You are a stranger to her. She will ask you many a question to suss you out."

"Work related questions?" she asks, again with a hopeful smile, and my heart sinks for her a little.

"She is very evasive, Holly. She will get up in your personal space, she will catch you off guard, find your weaknesses, then try and disarm your defences before she pounces," I say emphatically as I playfully attack her belly with my fingers and she wriggles until I stop.

"I can't wait," she says shaking her shoulders excitedly with fake enthusiasm.

"Holly I have seen you with people, you don't strike me as someone who would back down easily. Just be your charming, take no-shit-from-no-one, quirky self, and don't think about it too much, okay? Or she will drive you insane. Living proof," I laugh as I repeatedly point to myself with my thumb. _Why don't I ever take my own advice?_ "The more you let her walk all over you, the less respect she will have for you. I should know, I am her favourite doormat," I submit, and I can't help but feel a wave of sympathy come my way.

"So, what if she mentions you? I -I mean, what would you like me to say?" she stammers, fidgeting with her nails.

"Uh, just tell her the truth? You know me, you have worked with me, and we are friends. Just..." How do I word this correctly?

"Minus this kissing part?" she says momentarily glancing up at me to read my reaction.

"Err... Yeah, definitely going to need to work my way up to that I think," I smile unsurely as I run my hands through her hair. "If at all," I add.

"What?" I realise after this trip Holly will have spent more time with my mother than I have in a year. What if my mother is too much for her?

"I am just saying, maybe you won't want to go near me after having been around my mother for so long and seeing what she is really like. You wouldn't be the first person to run away with their tail between their legs."

She props herself up on her elbow, which is now touching mine. "Don't be stupid," she says as she flicks my hair behind my ear. "Perhaps I will barely see her." Wishful thinking.

"In a perfect world, lunchbox," I sigh. "In a perfect world."

"Hmm. I should probably add a disclaimer to my next asseveration; may cause one or all of the following," she scoffs. W _hat the hell is an asseveration?_

"Wow, you really are very nerdy."

"Mmm... Could cause awkward silence, uncontrollable laughter, a warm fuzzy feeling, though highly doubtful where you're concerned," she imperiously points out.

"Hey!" I pout as a rock her shoulder with my hand. I know she is joking.

"Endearing name calling and/or vomiting."

"Charming! So...?" I inquire.

"My world is pretty perfect right now," she admits, though I am not entirely surprised by her words.

"Hey! Mine too! Now excuse me while I go barf," I say as I put my finger into my mouth and pretend to gag.

"Wanna make out?" she asks rather bashfully.

"Doctor Stewart!"

"What?" she breathlessly laughs.

"I would but," I lean over towards her "they're watching," I whisper in her ear.

"Who? The fishy's?" she whispers back.

"Yeah, and the sharks and the other nerds behind those security cameras," I say as I point to the cameras on either exit door.

"Oh. Bum!" she sighs, grumpily folding her arms over her chest, and I think that this might be the cutest thing I have ever seen.

"Wanna talk a walk?" I ask and she looks up me and I deliberately wink at her. If you catch my drift?

* * *

"I don't _get_ boobs," I say looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, and I hear the toilet flush behind me. _You are crazy._

"This should be interesting," I hear Holly say as she opens the stall door and walks over to sink next to me, washes her hands then jumps up and sits on the counter closest to me, while I continue to adjust my boobs in front the mirror. "So what exactly is it you don't you _get_ about boobs?" she scoffs, thoroughly amused at my sudden random statement, but I know I am going somewhere with this even if she does end up having to drag it out of me.

"I dunno, they're weird aren't they?" I ask as I look at her, and then back down at my chest. "I had never really understood the fascination." Until now. She loops her leg around my thigh and pulls me across so I am standing between her legs but she doesn't look me in the eye, but stares squarely down at my hands on her knees. "What, you have no scientific spiel about boobs for me? I need my daily nerd lesson or I'll never be able to fill out that crossword."

"Had, being past tense," she mumbles.

"What?" I say as I lift up her chin so our eyes become level.

"Meaning now there is a fascination. Are you saying you like my boobs, Officer?" she giggles, and I can feel my face getting warmer, and she cups my cheeks with her hands taking in the heat.

"I like you, and your boobs are a packaged deal," I say and she raises her eyebrows at me, dropping her hands from my face to her lap. "I'm sorry, that came out completely wrong," I say and I shake my head at my complete ineptness to form sentences that will ever actually make her feel good. _You fucking dinkus, Gail_. I quickly take her hands in mine. _Words, I need words_. "Up until tonight I had only been thinking how this thing between us was only new for me. When in actual fact it's new for you too. I haven't been with a woman before, you know that, but you haven't been with a woman that hasn't been with a woman either. Wait, does that make sense?" I ask, and she nods her head. "Good. I realised if I were in your shoes right now I'd probably be feeling a little insecure about whether she, being me, was truly physically attracted to me," I say and I watch as she calmly blinks her eyes. "So I just wanted to appease any doubt you may have had creeping into that nerdy brain of yours, because, it's alarmingly evident now after every minute I spend with you, that I am becoming increasingly more attracted to you. You are incredibly sexy and I just wanted you to know that." I search for something in her eyes to tell me she heard me, because right now she looks completely stunned. "Cat got you tongue, Lunchbox?" and the seconds tick by.

"As a matter of fact she has!" she says as wraps her legs around my thighs to pull me closer. "Well for a few seconds there anyway," she smiles as she lets go of my hands and places her hands on my hips. "Boobs though?" she laughs. "Way to broach a subject!"

"Well I like to make sure I make every situation I am in completely awkward before I really open my mouth, so..." I say I run my hands all the way up and down her thighs. "You do have nice boobs," I say, averting my eyes from hers, "it's just, they are healthy right?" I ask tentatively, there is still some doubt in my mind she was not telling me the whole truth yesterday.

"OMG, yes," she says pulling and the bottom of my hoodie, "and again I'm sorry if I worried you. I promise next time I will tell you about any boob related emergencies," she smiles, "not that I am expecting any!" she quickly adds putting my mind at ease.

"Good, because we tell each other things, right?"

"Right," she resoundingly agrees and takes in a long deep breath. With one firm hand on my hip she runs her fingers over my cheek with the other. "You know you have continually surprised me these past few days? Well weeks really," she says as she nods her head in affirmation. "Not only with your willingness to be open about us with your friends, but, I know how hard you are trying with me, with us and I really appreciate it. You seemed to have fully grasped the concept of trying new things."

"Well..." I pause. She really hasn't made it hard for me to do so.

"I don't want you take this the wrong way, okay?" _I wish people wouldn't start sentences like that_ , "but when I first met you, those first few hours we spent together in my lab, not that you would know this, but although I was completely enamoured and intrigued by you, I couldn't help but think from your general demeanour and fast tongue, that _there_ was a woman that was so closed off from everything and everyone around her. I was really surprised when you opened up to me and told me how you were like a cat, and that you didn't bat an eyelid when I told you I was a lesbian. And at the end of that day when it was almost certain I was probably never going to see you again, you asked for my number, somewhat awkwardly if I recall, like a child in a playground looking to make new friends" she smiles warmly, of course hitting the nail right on the head.

"I don't want to scare you, but I'm still that person. I don't think a leopard can truly change their spots. Just promise me you will try to break down those walls when you feel I am building them up again, because I know me, it could happen at any time. I just hope you can continue to be as patient with me as you have already been."

"Just try and stop me," she says she slips off the counter and walks over to the bathroom door and holds it opens for me. "We may as well go to bed, make the morning come faster, seeing as this place seems to be riddled with cameras, and I refuse to make out in a bathroom," she says, willing me out the door.

"This sucks," I say as I walk out into alleyway that joins onto the shark tunnel where we will be sleeping and I look over towards the touch tanks we had visited earlier. "Hey look, I am not the only one to freak out and almost start crying when touching a stingray."

"Yeah, but that is a toddler, it's to be expected," she teases.

"I could have died!" I exclaim and she wraps a comforting arm around my shoulder as we approach the door to the shark tunnel. As we walk into the tunnel I survey it one last time to check if there is any blind spots from the cameras. There aren't, so I slam myself up against the glass just as a shark whips by and I stumble backwards.

"You really are a scaredy cat aren't you?" she points out with an appropriate choice of words, and I turn to see her throw out a double sleeping bag onto the mattress. _Well this will be excruciating._ I walk over to her and start to unbutton my jeans. I am kind of starting to regret choosing such skimpy shorts to sleep in because of the cameras and the fact that up close that sleeping bag looks much smaller than I had originally thought. She takes off her sweatshirt and puts it on top of her bag and lies down in the sleeping bag. I pull off my pants, and smile at the fact she is averting her eyes, if she is feeling anything as close to what I am right now, it was probably a good idea. I step onto the mattress and lie down next to her, lifting my legs up so I can pull the sleeping bag out from under me so I can crawl into it. I adjust the pillow behind my head and we both look up to the top of the tunnel. "Going to be hard to sleep with all this to look at," I sigh, though I'm sure that's kind of the point.

"If that wasn't the understatement of the year if I ever heard it," she laughs, and I immediately understand her true meaning and we turn our heads towards each other on our respective pillows. "Comfortable," she asks.

"Nope."

"Me either. This is bad," she frowns and her stupid moisturiser wafts over me, just to torment me some more. "Is it wrong that I don't give a shit about these cameras right now?" she reveals and in an instant our bodies come together and our hands are in each other's hair and my lips are on hers and our tongues are running rampant inside each others mouths, teasing and exploring, leaving no stone unturned. She mumbles something into my mouth as I bite her bottom lip.

"What?" I manage to get out before she is sucking on my tongue.

"PG-13," she reminds herself, breathing heavily into my lungs as our legs start to tangle together.


	28. Chapter 25 a)

It is one of the more comfortable silences in a day filled with awkward ones. Until she opens her mouth, that is.

"McPeck! You're with me today," Steve had said. This afternoon those five words had left an unwanted bitter taste in my mouth, one that I had thought I was starting to get rid of. It was almost at the very tip of my tongue; perhaps on the verge of disappearing forever, or at least until she would do the next dumb thing to really piss me off.

So being locked in a van, down a creepy alleyway all shift with McNally had not been what I would have considered to be time well spent. Well not at this particular juncture in our relationship. Not that we even have a relationship, but considering I had just had one of the most memorable nights of my life with Holly, I don't think my time could be as well spent as it is when I am with my nerd. _Ugh, I really do have it bad!_ But now all that seems like a lifetime ago as I sit here trying to fight off tears that have weighed heavily in my eyes for the better part of three hours.

I try to open my eyes to look at my watch; it takes a few seconds for them to fully focus on the hands. 12:25am, it is officially Thursday. That's one week since Holly and I had our first real kiss. I can still feel her lips on mine _. Or maybe that's just because your lips are still chapped from the mega make out session you had last night_. Twenty four hours since the first time I had ever gone to sleep in her arms (I hadn't dared hold her those other few nights we shared a bed at her lake house) and now it's three and a half hours until she leaves for her flight to New York. Oh, and not to forget the seven hours before I have to be back on shift again. Seven hours before I am back in that van with McNally, and quite possibly the rest of the week. It's been one crazy-ass week, where everything seems to be moving so fast. Except for this car. From the front passenger seat I turn my head to look out the rear car window. What the fuck? _Is she dragging all her emotional baggage with her?_

"Where are we exactly?" Andy asks, breaking the comfortable silence I was enjoying so much as she stops at the last set of traffic lights before Holly's apartment. _Why did she have to ruin a perfectly nice drive?_

I open up my handbag and start looking for the apartment key Holly had given me last night. I start pulling out all the crap from my bag, crap from my life really, and place it on my lap. If I have lost this key I am going to kill Andy for being Andy, also because she is the closest person to me right now and I don't feel like killing myself over a lost key. I'm not entirely there yet. She will have to do _. Your rationalisation is astounding._

I really _really_ don't want to wake Holly right now just so that she can let me inside. I'd rather go home than do that. I have finished work much earlier than I anticipated and I am now starting to think I probably should have just accepted the drink invitation Andy had extended to me, just on the off chance Holly was waiting up for me. Because if Holly sees my face, all tired and pained from the worries of my day, she is going to want to talk about it. It's not to say that she will talk about it, she knows when to shut her trap. I just know that it would be hanging over us until one of us would build up the courage to mention it. I certainly don't want to; all I want to do right now is sit alone on my ass and eat cheese-puffs. Which reminds me, there are some in my car.

"Thank you, Jesus!" I found it. I take the key from the bottom of my bag and put it in my jeans pocket, kicking some empty beer bottles at my feet in the process. Either Andy has taken to drink driving or this is her old man's car.

"Gail?"

"I heard you McNally. You are taking me to Holly's."

"Your real friend," she mumbles.

"The one and only."

"Gail..." she whines in that poor-little-McNally-tone I hate so much as she pulls up in front of Holly's apartment building.

"Shut it McNally! I don't want to fight with you. Not today. Not now."

"Okay, okay" she says softly, cowering back into her seat and I feel one of those threatening tears start to fall down my face, so I quickly hide it by pulling my hood over my head.

I frantically put all my crap back into my handbag. I take a deep breath and brace for the cold as I open the car door, and I kick myself for not wearing a heavier jacket. Instead I am wearing the clothes I wore last night on our date because Holly had dropped me off at the precinct early so I could catch up on some much needed paper work, something she was also going to be doing most of the day as well. _I must really smell._

"Bye then?" Andy says, like it's a question that I am supposed to answer. "Whatever," she adds when she realises I am not going to respond and I close the door behind me. I take three steps onto the footpath before I hear the electric window of her car travel down. "Gail?" she calls and I stop.

"What do you want McNally?" I ask as my head falls back.

"You forgot your um, stuffed toy?" she questions and my eyes roll to the back of my head. I covertly brush the tear from my cheek and I turn around as she leans over the passenger seat and hands me the fluffy toy shark I had bought from the aquarium gift shop through the window. "You know what, Andy?" I say as I step backwards onto the nature strip, awkwardly shuffling my feet.

"What Gail? What have I done now?" and I am a little surprised by her animosity and kind of glad at the same time that she has decided to grow some balls, even if they are tiny little ones. I look back through the open window and she has her arms crossed over the steering wheel and her forehead is firmly planted on top of them.

"Hey!" I call, and she slowly lifts her head in my direction, a bit bleary eyed, but still resting her head on her arms. "You're a good cop Andy."

"Wait, wah?" she stirs.

"My brother is right. _For once_. You are a good at what you do, and I am glad it was you who had my back out there tonight, okay?"

"Okay...?" she draws outage she sits up. _Don't sound too sure of yourself there._ I had immediately complained to Steve this afternoon, wait yesterday afternoon, about pairing me with Andy. And after telling me to "grow the fuck up and get over it," he proceeded to say that Andy had always been one of the best rookies he had worked with undercover, she had a natural instinct about people and situations and I'd be lucky for the help. Knowing our recent history, the fact he used the words "Andy, get over it and undercover," in the same sentence, made me kind of furious.

"Now you and your scrawny ass can beat it," I tell her. Obviously it's my way of saying thank you for the lift. Whether or not she can make that out is her own problem.

She gives me a rye smile and turns the ignition and starts to put the window up. "I'm sorry for what I did to your neck," I hear her laugh as the window finally closes and she drives away. I immediately reach for my neck as a reflex and I wince when my finger trails over an area that hurts. "What the hell did you do to my neck?"

I walk across a parking spot where Holly had parked my car on the street. I grab my keys from my bag, which holds a spare and I unlock the back door and pull out the packet of cheese-puffs that I knew were under the seat. _I don't care how long they have been sitting there, I will eat them anyway_.

I make my way up the concrete path towards the security door of her building and punch in the security code. The code that I embarrassingly had to ask for again the next morning because I was too distracted by her lips to remember it the night before. I hop into the elevator and press three, and I fall back against one of the mirrors lining the elevator walls. I catch a glimpse of my reflection out the corner of my eye and I remove my hood. I look like death warmed over, and there is no way of hiding this fact. _Please don't be awake._ I walk slowly down the hallway with heavy shoulders while I look for her apartment number. I find in at the very end of this level. I take the key from my pocket and put it in the lock and I take a deep breath as I turn it and step over the threshold. A wave of warmth hits me immediately. It must be 90 degrees in here. _Whoa_!

The massive open living space is dimly lit by the light on in the kitchen and a lamp that is shaded by a red cloth that is sitting on one of the speaker units over by the television on the opposite side of the room. No sign of Holly though as I carefully scan my surroundings. I take off my boots and drop them by the door beneath the coat rack and I walk over to the sofa. I see the book I gave her open on the coffee table and her glasses are sitting on top of it. I drop my handbag, cheese puffs and the toy shark that Holly so creatively named Gail, onto the sofa cushions. I'm choosing not to read too much into why she named it Gail.

I walk over to her pristine and might I add, very large kitchen, and I run my fingers along the ice-cold stainless steel benches before I reach the sink to get a glass of water. I notice how slippery the polished floorboards are under my socks. I can see why Holly says she basically slides her way around her apartment. I could easily see myself face-planting all over the joint. I fill a glass that is sitting inside the basin and I lean back against the sink and take a sip while I admire her fancy looking coffee machine. Right next to it there is a small model replica of the Doctor Who Tardis. _Cool_. I take a step closer and notice it actually has a lid. I lift the lid and suddenly the pointy bit on the top lights up and it's starts making that freaky-ass noise it makes when it travels through time, at a volume I cannot control. "Shit! Shit! Shit! Shut the fuck up!" I say as I put my glass down and fumble the lid shut, but not before realising it was is full of cookies. "Crap, now I want a cookie," I huff as I push it back up against the kitchen wall, not brave enough to open it again in case I wake Holly. _I wish I could travel back in time so I can grab a cookie. Where's Tom Baker when you need him_. I turn and lean forward against the kitchen island and I notice a notepad sitting on the far side, so I walk around to it to see if there is anything written on it. It seems Holly has left me a note, but it's the Ferrero Roché chocolate that is sitting on top the notepad that has all my attention. She knows how to welcome a girl, so I unwrap in it and shovel it into my mouth. _Mmm, hazelnutty goodness._

"Good morning. Feel free to snoop, I know you want to. All the lesbian manuals are in the top right hand shelf over by the piano if you were wondering," I mumble, reading her words. "Hmm... cheeky. But she's kidding, right?" I say before I continue reading silently. _Will have to resist the urge to check that out later_.

' _I didn't want to assume anything, so I made up the guest bedroom (see map on left), otherwise feel free to come warm my feet (find "me" on map).'_

I lean over and rest my elbows on either side of the notepad. "My god, she is a loon." I am not surprised in the least that she drew out a map for me; it's the fact that she has obviously drawn it with a ruler for precision is what amazes me. "Oh, Lunchbox," I sympathetically smile. Budding technical drawer she may be, but there is a stick figure lying on the bed in the room titled 'me'. She has also indicated where the bathroom, ensuite, piano, TV and lesbian manuals are. _I am not going to look. She is tricking me!_

_'If our paths don't happen to cross this morning, stay safe and kiss you later. I fly home Sunday. Do want to pick me up from the airport if you are not working?'_

Next to where she has signed the name 'xo Nerd,' she has written 'aka' then drawn a picture of her evidence/samples bag. _Ha! ha! Lunchbox, classic_! _I have to write back to her_.

I go in search for a pen over on her desk that's situated by a ceiling high corner window overlooking a great view of the city. I can imagine the sun streaming through here in the morning and blazing annoyingly into my eyes. As I pull a pen out of the penholder, it tips over and I nearly knock her glasses off her desk and onto the floor. _Wait, I thought her glasses were on the coffee table?_ I return to the kitchen and begin writing.

_'Dear Nerd,_

_While your ability with a ruler is obviously a cut above the rest, your skills as a portrait artist however, leave a lot to be desired. You are far more toned in person. I will get back to you re: airport pick-up. Have yet to lay eyes on my work schedule for Sunday.'_

To sign off I draw a picture of my shark toy followed by a few kisses. "P.S. It is true what they say; lesbians really do have the worst handwriting," I write as I dictate to myself.

I put the pen down and make my way down the hallway, almost slipping over in the process as I open the bathroom door. _Damn socks!_ I turn the faucets at the sink, and as I wait for the water to warm up I pull off my socks and drop them on the tiled floor. _Pick those up; this is not your home_. I wash my face then I run my wet hands through my hair as I look into the mirror, immediately moving my face closer when I see the one inch bruise on the side of my neck. "Jesus McNally!" I shake my head and laugh softly.

Against my better judgement and my decision earlier not to disturb a sleeping Holly, I find myself outside her bedroom door. I hesitate as I reach for the doorknob, but my hand seems to have a mind of it's own. I can't stop it. I turn the doorknob and peer in. Her bedside lamp is on and she is uncovered, lying on her side. I tip toe around to the side she is sleeping on and I notice she is wearing the baggy Doctor Who T-shirt she had with her at the lake house and some bright blue boy-leg underwear. I'm am trying my best not to be really creepy right now, but it's hard when her T-shirt is riding up past her stomach, revealing her belly button piercing and her forearm rests gently on her hip, while her hand dangles gracefully down _there_. _Sigh_.

There is paperwork scattered next to her, and her glasses are by her hand on her pillow. _How many pairs does she need?_ I kneel down beside her and quietly gather all the papers and put them in a pile on the floor. I place her glasses on her bedside table and I press the alarm button on her clock radio to check what time she is getting up. It is set for 3:55am. I return my gaze to her. She looks so peaceful. Her lines of care have virtually vanished, like she hasn't a worry in the world. There is barely any movement at all. Not even a twitch, only the rise and fall of her chest with every breath of air she takes. She will definitely need every ounce of energy she can muster to get through the next four days. In fact, so will I.

I can't help but sigh at the insanely beautiful sight in front of me right now, and I fight the urge to touch her. Cup her cheek, brush her lip, run my fingers through her hair. _No, Gail! No!_ I stand up and lean over the bed and I grab the corner of her quilt and gently pull it over her before I leave the room, making sure I close the door very carefully behind me. As I walk back up the hallway I find the thermostat and adjust the heat down, then I make my way back over to the notepad and pick up the pen again.

_'P.P.S. Why do you have so many pairs of optical aids?_

_P.P.P.S. I can water your plants if you like._

_P.P.P.P.S. My lips are quite chapped today._

_P.P.P.P.P.S. What makes you think I need a manual?'_

I grab my glass of water and head over to the sofa and place it on the coffee table. I strip down to my T-shirt and underwear because it is still very hot in here. I throw my bag on the floor and I place Gail on top of it. I reach for the first piece of reading material I see from under the coffee table, which happens to be a forensics journal. Perhaps she wrote something in this one too. I sink down into the sofa and I open my cheese-puffs and wedge the packet between the back of the sofa and my ribs. I open the journal and immediately shut it again, and let it fall onto my lap. I have seen enough bullet wounds in the past few hours. _Maybe that last P.P.P.P.P.S was a mistake._ I hear my phone beep in my bag and I fish it out. _Who the hell is messaging me so late?_ I open the text message as I put a few cheese-puffs in my mouth.

**Andy** : _I miss McPeck. I am so sorry for ever hurting u._

I almost spit out my puffs, and I brush off the few crumbs that have sprayed onto my chest. She must be drunk, as this is the first time she has attempted to apologise to me in over two weeks. What am I supposed to do with this? _Deflect_.

**Gail** : _tell that to my neck_

**Andy** _: Not what I meant. Not so sure I'm sorry about ur neck anymore._

**Gail:** _I know what you meant, loser & me either. Hurts though._

**Andy** _: U pinched my ass first._

**Gail** _: don't remind me_

* * *

"McNally, Peck, we need eyes on the rear street exit," I hear Steve say and I tap my earpiece to get rid of the crackle.


	29. Chapter 25 b)

"McNally, Peck, we need eyes on the rear street exit," I hear Steve say and I tap my earpiece to get rid of the crackle.

"Copy that. On our way," McNally responds as she stands up and removes the holster from her waist and puts her gun in her inside jacket pocket. She looks down at me and I nod back at her. _Lets do this_. We exit the back of the van and I shove my gun down the back of my jeans and cover it with the bottom of my hoodie. We make our way down the alleyway and turn onto the poorly lit back street where the back exit to the pizza place is. The smell of pizza is making me crazy, and is doing things to my poor, food deprived stomach, which has been living off Mentos for the last five hours. _Mmm... anchovies and um lots of cheese! Mmm... Maybe later._ The green exit sign above the back door one hundred metres away lights the ground around it. I concentrate on the flickering street light attached to the wall on the building opposite to try and calm my nerves. I see Andy look at her watch out the corner of my eye. "About forty five minutes 'til the exchange," she says as she glances up from her watch, to me, and I nod in acknowledgement.

"No movement here, over" I say into my com as we slowly get closer. I close-line Andy with my arm about fifteen meters away from the back street exit, and we come to an abrupt stop as I hold her back. I can hear the faint sounds of voices coming from inside the closed door. Without a second thought I unceremoniously push her over to a dumpster about five meters away from us which is on the opposite side of the street of the door. We duck down and hide behind it using each others respective shoulders to steady ourselves. Andy gestures to me to be quiet, putting her finger up to her mouth. What the fuck does she think I am going to do, start yelling or something? _Douche_. The voices are getting louder, and I hear the distinct sound of a door opening and two men arguing, or at least one is.

"I said forty thousand! Did they not get the fucken' memo?" one of the men yells and he proceeds to cough up his lungs. He sounds a lot like Alan Rickman, only with an American accent.

"Yeah, but, uh, Nico said that ah..." the other weakly stammers before being cut off. He sounds a lot younger than the other guy.

"I couldn't give a fuck what Nico said. If he doesn't get the forty to me in thirty minutes, he's a dead man. Same goes for you and your brother," the older man threatens as Andy peaks around the corner of the dumpster to get a proper look. "Now take this trash away from me, and get the fuck out of my sight."

"Shit!" Andy exclaims under her breath. "He's gonna come over here any minute," she whispers and she whips her head around towards me, her face muscles in a state of panic, her eyes in disarray. "Trash!" she exclaims.

"Where the hell are we going to go?" I whisper desperately, as we both look around and quickly survey our options, but there doesn't seem to be any. At this point there is no way of getting away without being seen. My mind starts to dangerously wander. My life could be over any minute and the first thing I think about is the fact that I never even had the chance to sleep with Holly. _This really sucks balls._

"Gail, stand up" Andy whispers, and I look at her like she hasn't got a clue what she is doing and she rolls her eyes at me as she starts to pull me up to my feet. "Stand up," she repeats in a huff and she and slams me up against the brick wall behind us. "Trust me. Just go with it," she adds as she unzips my hoodie all the way down to the top of my jeans. _What, you going to strangle him with my sleeves? Suffocate him with my hood? You do have a gun you know._

"Why should I trust... Jesus McNally!" I mumble through my teeth as she attacks my neck with her mouth, pulling my hoodie down over my shoulders, and then runs her hands back up my arms. "What the fuck are you doing?" I ask as she kisses down around my collarbone, and she quickly shoots her head up in front of me and shakes my shoulders.

"You wanna die right now?" she questions, and I'd laugh if it weren't for the fact that I am so terrified right now.

"Errr, not real..."

"Then shut up," she says cutting me off. The guy slowly comes into my peripheral vision, holding what looks to be a bag of rubbish.

"It's the kids brother. I recognise him from a photo " I whisper into her shoulder as she places her hands up the sides of my ribs cage inside my hoodie.

"Grab my boobs," she says. _Come again?_

"No way freaking way, and I'm not kissing you either," I protest, but I couldn't have if I wanted to, my muscles seem to have turned to ice.

"Well grab something!" she exclaims as she starts on my neck again, pulling me closer. "Make an effort!" she mumbles into the crook of my neck and I close my eyes so I don't have to look him in the eye when he sees us. I finally take my grip off the top of her arms and I slide my hands down to her waist and up and around her back. _My god this is ridiculous_. The irony of the situation is not lost on me. I reluctantly move my hands down to her ass, and I stupidly open my eyes, and I accidentally squeeze her hard in reaction to seeing him notice us, and her response to my reaction seems to be to suck harder on my neck. _Seriously?_ She is like a leach, but my blood is all but frozen. He looks me in the eye for a few seconds and it leaves me wondering what he might do to us. There is a glint in his eye I just can't trust, I mean, why would I? _What the hell am I talking about?_ I feel Andy put her hand into her inside pocket, over her gun, as he clears his throat to properly interrupt us. I cheekily crack a smile at him to the best of my ability, though I am not sure what that looks like. It's probably a mixture of panic and embarrassment. Though I suppose they are all natural reactions to getting busted like this, so I'm good... I think. Come to think of it, I have felt like this before, all too recently I might add.

"You girls should get outta here," he says with a somewhat annoyed smirk on his face and he throws the rubbish into the dumpster, but I can't help but notice his hand behind his back as he does it. I casually wrap my arm over Andy's shoulder, dangling my hand over her chest. She takes my hand in hers as she gradually turns around, purposefully stumbling in the process. Her other arm snakes it's way around my back and over my firearm and onto my hip to keep her fake balance.

"Let's go get another drink, babe," I say as he turns to walk away back over to the door, and I breath a heavy sigh of relief. We let go of each other and for a moment we look at one another in disbelief. "Oh my god," Andy breathlessly mumbles as she starts laughing, leaning forward with her hand over her mouth to try and mask any unwanted sound. It seems to be contagious too, and my body shakes as I hold my stomach with both hands. She grabs my forearms and I can feel her hands trembling through my sleeves. I'm not sure whether she is it's from laughing or shock. Maybe it's a bit of both.

"Your face was priceless," she silently laughs, burrowing her head into my shoulder.

"My face?" I chuckle. "You were the one who..."

_Bang. Bang._

I momentarily put my hand over Andy's mouth as the sound of the shots fired still ring through my ears. I see someone out the corner of my eye fleeing at the very end of the street, and then disappear around the corner. We drop to the ground. "Shots fired, I repeat, shots fired," is all I manage to hear Andy say as I crawl over to end of the dumpster and look down the street. I see the guy lying flat on his back, with the dark colour of blood pooling around him on the asphalt beneath him.

I stagger to get up, but I manage to launch myself forward. I suddenly feel Andy trying to grab onto the bottom of my hoodie to pull me back. "Peck, no!" she pleads and I break free of the hold she has on me.

"I promised," I say as I start running down the street towards the young man, my eyes fixed squarely on the back exit. I know I shouldn't be doing this. I know it. But it's not my head that's thinking right now. _Stop! Just stop you idiot._ I slow down as I come closer to his body. I can see his eyes are open, but he is gone. A bullet to the side of his head as well as one to his abdomen. It was a very good shot. I kneel in front of his body, my senses confounded and seemingly useless. _What the hell happened?_

I put my hand to my ear. "McNally, Peck!" Steve yells over the com. "Get out of there! Our eyes inside say they are on their way out to you," I hear him, but I don't register straight away. _What did you think you were going to do? Drag him out of here?_

"Peck we have to go," Andy calls as I hear her come running towards me. "Now!" she adds as she lifts me up under my arms, and starts pulling me in the direction of the main road, but I resist. "I promised his brother we would get him out," I explain as Andy yanks tirelessly on my arm. That's when I hear the voices coming and the shuffling of feet behind the exit door. "It's too late for that. Now move!" She says and I snap out of it, and start running for my life. I don't think I have ever run so fast. Maybe it's because McNally is pulling me. Though from the looks of things she has barely broken into a canter. _I hate you._ We make it around the corner and onto the main road footpath, leaving all the commotion behind us. We keep running for a few blocks, dodging the occasional person in our way, before I have to stop to catch my breath. Andy is fine though of course. _I hate you even more right now._

"What was that back there, Gail?" she asks as we come to a slow walk and she eventually stops behind me. After a few more steps I come to rest against the wall of a storefront, my head falling back against the bricks.

"McNally/Peck, what's your status," Steve calls.

"Just making our way back to the van, over," Andy says as she approaches me. I turn my head towards her; trying to take in some much needed oxygen as she stretches her arm out to lean against the wall next to me.

I lift my head up and look out into the busy street. "I'm sorry, I just,"

"Promised?" she wonders, and I bow my head and shake it at my stupidity.

"I spent all day yesterday with that guys kid brother, " I tell her, gesturing a hand in the direction we just came from. _And here it comes._ "McNally, this kid was fifteen. Fifteen for Christ sake! And to be caught up in the middle of all this?" I say I raise my arms up in disbelief. "He was so scared, and I was scared for him, and stuff just... started pouring out of my mouth." Kind of like what's happening right now. _"_ I don't know what I was thinking. And now his brother is dead," I say as I look back at her. There is compassion there and I don't know why.

"We could have died," she says and I feel the guilt build in my stomach. "He was a bad guy, Gail, regardless... There would have been no hesitation on his part to kill us. You saw his gun, right?" _Is she consoling me right now?_ She drops her arm and leans back against the wall next to me. "I have done so many stupid things on this job and in my life, I have lost count. Sometimes you can't help but ignore your head and lead with your heart." I hear what she is saying, but it still makes me kinda want to vomit.

_Your ice is melting._ "It is not!" I exclaim and she turns her head to me in confusion.

"What?"

"Oh nothing, I am just going crazy," I say as I queue the awkward silence. _Much better._

She pushes off the wall with her shoulders and I do the same as I zip up my hoodie. We walk in silence, turning the corner at the next block so we can loop back in the direction of our van.

This isn't good. I was distracted, and I have been for weeks. I have turned into a pile of mush. A happy pile of mush. Maybe some separation from Holly is just what I need. Maybe this trip is a blessing in disguise? I feel my phone vibrate as we turn the final corner, and I fetch it out of my jeans pocket.

**Holly:** _Crap! I have had one too many beers. Your friends are bad influences. I was only going to stay for an hour and it has now been four. I did however shoot some zombies in the head. You proud? I ate some cheese-puffs too. Did you know they make your lips orange? Did you also know that orange has a hue of 30_ _in the HSV colour space? I may have read this message ten times over to check for spelling mistakes. Found eleven, maybe more if I don't stop typing. Your bed is very comfy. ;)_

There's that feeling again. That warm one that circles your heart. _For fuck sake, get a grip. It's just a freaking text message!_ "What are you smiling about all of a sudden?" Andy asks as she leans over towards me and tries to take a peak at my phone. I defensively take a step away from her and she raises a single hand up as she retreats. "Sorry I asked." _I am a bitch._ She doesn't have a clue. Well I am pretty sure she doesn't. I mean what else would I be smiling about?

_Holly. Holly. Holly. Holly. Holly. Holly and cheese-puffs._

As I open my eyes I feel the warm sensation of tears on my cheeks. I go to lift my arms to wipe them away but they are stuck. They are tangled up in the warm body resting tightly against me. Holly has found her way onto the sofa next to me. It seems she has found her spoon because I am totally wrapped around her. Skin touching skin. Body parts touching body parts. How did I not wake up? I think she has my hand somewhere, as my arm is wrapped tightly around her waist but the rest has disappeared. I gently try and pull my arm away from her and she seems to loosen her grip. If she is sleeping like the way she was earlier, she will never wake up. My arm is free, but I seem to have brought my new friend Gail with me. Holly gently stirs from the loss of contact, so I place Gail back down by her hands and she grabs hold of her and nuzzles her own face into Gail's fluffy synthetic fur. I check my watch. It's 3:30am. She has to get up soon. I have to assume her alarm is set on her phone that is now sitting on the coffee table along with my uneaten cheese-puffs.

Now that I am wide-awake and my hand is free, I don't know what to do with it. I rest it on my hip and my fingers start to drum against my bare thigh. Her soft skin is calling to me right now. I want to touch it. I _need_ to touch it. I scoot down lower into the sofa, burrowing my head into the top of her shoulder, and I place a lingering kiss on her spine, right between her shoulder blades and she leans back into my lips. Maybe she isn't really _that_ asleep after all.

My hand finds it's way onto her hip and my thumb brushes over the hem of her underwear. I slowly move my hand up the side of her waist to the bottom of her ribs and back down again, massaging her back with my thumb as I go and I hear a hum reverberate from her mouth.

I feel her breath hitch as I slide the tips of my fingers over the smooth skin of her abdomen and she shivers as they move up to trace concentric circles around her belly button. I open my hand and edge my palm up slowly under her t-shirt and over her sternum; my fingers lingering between her breasts before they ghost back down over her stomach to rest just above her underwear line. She places her hand over mine as she turns over, but my hand slides over to the side of her waist, as her own disappears underneath her. Our legs untangling themselves momentarily before she repositions her leg between mine, dropping Gail between us before pulling my leg up, and over her hip. I get my other arm out from underneath me and lay it out straight as she nestles down against it and I wrap my arm around her head and I hold on to her shoulder, pulling her in closer to my chest as out foreheads meet. I trail my hand from her waist over to her the hand on my hip and after my fingers intertwine over hers, she slowly starts moving them up the side of my body until they rest with Gail between our chests. Her eyes never opened but they are burned into my memory. I slowly find my eyes getting heavier, as I feel a hand on my face that wipes my tears away, and I slowly start to drift off...

I wake to the smell of coffee, and I quickly sit up on the sofa a little disoriented as I survey my surroundings. _Did she stay?_ I jump over the back of the sofa and take a few steps before I slide over to the kitchen. "When did I put my socks on exactly?" I wonder. I walk over to the coffee machine where there is a mug there waiting for me, and I proceed to fill it up to the brim. I take it and go and sit down on one of the stools that line the kitchen island and I slide the notepad over in front of me to see if there is a response to any of my stupid messages. Our last page has disappeared from the notepad and she has appears to have started writing on a blank page.

_'I hope my coffee finds you well and that you slept as awesome as I did. Never has my couch been so comfy. By the way, I think our last note deserved to be stuck on the fridge._

_In answer to your delightful postscript messages:_

\- _Yes it's terrible, but what exactly does your handwriting say about you?_

\- _Well obviously I can't see well enough to ever find my glasses, so I place many pairs around my apartment so I can easily stumble across them. And as you know, my eyesight has become increasingly worse over the past six weeks having been blinded many times by your beautiful face. You're gagging now aren't you? I don't know how many you saw, but there are usually six pairs lying around. I'm taking two with me just so you know._

\- _I have marked on the map in red the locations of the plants that need watering daily. But only if you can be bothered. I am sure they can survive without. I also don't mind if you babysit them._

\- _Though I was obviously joking, I am the one that needs the manual. I am a little rusty. It has been a while._

_P.S. I found your socks on the floor of the bathroom, so I put them back where they rightly belong - on your feet._

_P.P.S. Please find jar of Arnica oil on this counter next to you. It's for that FUCKING HUGE HICKEY ON YOUR NECK! Not sure if I have a right to be jealous after only a week, but I am! What the hell, Officer?_

_P.P.P.S. I have kidnapped Gail, and I am holding her hostage. Ransom note and proof of life still to come._

_P.P.P.P.S. I have wasted far too much time on this note. Well I suppose it's more of a letter really. I am going to miss my flight now.'_


	30. Chapter 26

While one hand grips the steering wheel, the other presses firmly against my ear as I try and block out as much sound as possible. I mean her voice is nice enough I guess, but does it have to be so freaking loud? "McNally! Would you please shut your pie hole! You're giving me a headache!" _Mmm... pie. I'm hungry._

"Speaking of headaches, did you see Dov this morning?" she asks still bopping her head along to the music. "Chris sent me a picture," she adds.

"Yes, I saw what was left of him when I came home to change this morning. I am kind of glad I had the sense to stay away last night, it wasn't a pretty sight."

"You've never been one to shy away from a party," she points out. _Uh, you're annoying._

"Well I was trying to be sensible? Seeing as we're working today and all, it seemed like a good idea," I scoff as I shake my head, although it has never stopped me in the past. I was pretty tired though, that was my official excuse.

"What are we doing?" she asks as I pull up into a parking spot near my favourite cafe, which just happens to be the one I took Holly to for breakfast the other day.

"I want food," I tell her.

"It's not even lunchtime," she complains as I get out of the unmarked police car but she follows anyway. She walks around the side of car, joining me on the sidewalk.

"This," I say, as I step backwards towards the entrance of the cafe pointing both thumbs to my stomach, "does not work to a schedule," and I turn around and open the door.

I scour the cafe for a free table and I walk over and take a seat by the window, as I watch Andy make her way towards the bathroom. I get my phone out of my pocket. It seems my hand is a like a magnet lately that my phone is pulled and permanently attached to. Holly has still yet to respond to the few messages I have sent her this morning. So much for trying to clear my head of thoughts of her when I am at work. She really is permanently engrained in there. I check my messages to see if I have missed something, maybe I got her number wrong. _Doubtful_.

"Can I sit with you?" I hear and I look up to see Andy standing by the other chair holding a plate with a croissant in her hand.

"What are we in elementary school?" I quip.

"I can never tell with you," she says as she sits down across from me.

"Where did you get that?" I ask, eyeing and nodding towards her plate.

"I caught the waiter on the way in and out of the bathroom," she says and I refrain from making a snarky comment about how she probably flashed him her boobs.

I gaze over towards the cafe counter as I look for the waiter when I am interrupted by my phone buzzing on the table. I pick it up and see that it's Holly calling. "Finally," I smile as I hit 'answer'.

"Hey, how are those manuals workin' out for ya?" I chuckle as I lean lazily back into my chair and stretch my legs out.

"Gail, I'm confused." Her tone is not lost on me, but I have to crack a joke.

"I know, it can be confusing sometimes, especially if you are rusty, but give it time, you will figure it out." I laugh as I watch Andy staring curiously at me as she picks at her croissant, eating it like she was a mouse. "Maybe with some practice you..."

"Gail!" Holly exclaims, abruptly cutting me off as I try and continue.

"What?" I say hastily, but she doesn't respond. I have never heard her raise her voice to me like that before, if she did, usually it was in good fun or she was whining about something. "Hey," I soften my voice. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," she answers politely.

"Me?" I say, my inflection going up a few octaves. "I'm fine, I guess, why?" _Are you_ _so sure about that?_

"I'm confused," she repeats.

"Yeah I know, you said that already," I giggle.

"I learnt my lesson long ago when it comes to any sort of relationship never to jump to conclusions or assume... But..."

"Okay, what did my mother say to you?" I interrupt.

"What's your mother got to do with anything?" she questions. "I haven't even seen her."

"Um, I don't know, what are you on about?"

"I'd tell you if you'd just stop interrupting me," she scolds.

"Err, I didn't realise... Wait, what?" I ask as I sit back up in my chair utterly confused from our current conversation.

"I'm really sorry," she sighs. "This is stupid, I have to go. Talk later."

"Nerd, wait..." I plead as she hangs up and the dial tone rings through my ear. I slowly move my phone away from my ear and hold it up in the air as I scowl at it like it has in some way offended me. "What the?"

"Everything okay?" Andy asks.

"Fine," I huff as I put my phone down on the table and stare at it blankly for a considerable amount of time. _What was that?_

"Gail," Andy hesitates. "Are you seeing someone?" she tentatively asks and my head flicks up to her at an alarming speed. _She has_ _some nerve._

"What? No? Shut up!" I sneer. I am not sure if I am ready for her to know my secret lady business.

"You sure? Because your face just lit up like a Christmas tree."

"Oh Yeah? And how does my face look now?" I ask, glaring coldly at her as I wait, curious to see if she backs down.

"Now it looks like you have your foot in your mouth," she states, something that I'm painfully aware of, I'm just not sure why or how I got it in there. I am kind of annoyed that she is in front of me right now.

"How's Nick?" _Zing!_

* * *

I take the hair tie from around my wrist and I look into the ladies locker room mirror as I tie my hair into a loose looped ponytail. "You're bleeding," I tell her, as I look at Andy through the mirror and she grabs at her grazed elbow.

"Perk of the job I guess," she responds.

"Don't I know it! Though I don't think I can really call this one a perk," I say as I lean into the mirror and put two fingers to my bruised neck and I see Andy chuckle.

"Anyone see that?" she smirks as she rinses her elbow under the faucet. Up until my shower a few minutes ago, I had covered it with foundation.

"Only you and... errr nope" I say as I remember Holly's note from this morning and I finally twig.

I hadn't been able to get her on the phone all shift. Maybe she was ignoring me, or perhaps she was just busy. I only received a few monosyllabic messages that seemed forced and distant.

I walk over to my locker and sit on the bench and pull one of my combat boots on and stop and stare at the floor. _That has to be it._ I rock up at her house all weepy, with a hickey on my neck and I sleep on her sofa instead of in her bed. Maybe she thought I was feeling guilty about something? But that doesn't explain why she would come and lay next to me and hold me so close. And that fucking adorable note? I stand up and swing open the door of my locker and I go into my bag and pull out the piece of paper she had written on and that I had stashed in my bag before I left her apartment this morning.

"What's that?" I hear, as Traci suddenly appears out of nowhere, her arm hanging over the door of my locker. I quickly scrunch it up in a panic and throw it back into my bag and she gives me a curious look as my cheeks turn a light shade of pink. "You guys ready?" she asks.

"Yeah I will be there in a sec," I say. "Wait, Andy's coming?"

"Sick of me Gail?" Andy calls from the opposite bench.

And I can only answer with a resounding "Yes!"

"Now now ladies. Celery said Oliver has been going a little stir crazy with the all time he has been given off, and Gail, I thought the more the merrier. We can make it a girls night," she says and Andy and I both laugh.

"Should I bring my makeup bag so we can give Olie a makeover?" Andy chuckles. The thought had crossed my mind in that instant too. That would be an awesome sight.

"You actually own make up McNally?" I jab, and Traci swiftly kicks me in ankle and I watch Andy roll her eyes to the back of her head.

"Trace, I'll meet you there. I have to go check on my dad first," Andy says as I pull my bag out of my locker and sit back down on the bench with it.

"Take the keys and warm up my car," I say to Traci as I hold them out to her. "I need to ask Andy something."

Traci squints at me as she takes the keys from my hand. "Gail promise me you wont pull her hair or maim or kill her, okay?" she pleads as she walks towards the exit.

"I'll try my hardest," I laugh and she dismisses me with a wave over the back of her shoulder. I pull my other combat boot on and stand up and throw my bag over my shoulder and I walk over to Andy who is tying her shoelaces slowly. I peer down at her until she looks up and notices me and we find ourselves in one of those awkward silences we have become so accustomed to.

"I need to ask you a favour," I say as I drop down next to her and look nervously at my boots.

"We are back to asking for favours now?" she teases.

"Actually it's not that important," I dismiss as I stand up but she pulls me back down again. She is really pushing her luck right now.

"Ask me Gail, but there is one condition," she says and I look at her with a hint of contempt. _Like does she even have the right?_ "You have to be nice to me tonight." _She'd be doing you the favour, remember_?

"Fuck, I have to be..."

"Ah" she says holding her finger up in front of me. "Nice!" she repeats.

"Fine. But I have a condition too."

"For your own favour?" _That's the way it works, right?_

"Yes." I answer. "You can't ask questions. This is weird, and kind of embarrassing for me."

"I am liking this already. What is it?" She asks and I remind myself that I am doing this for Holly's peace of mind. I reach into my pocket and bring out my phone.

"Oh Christ. Okay... we need to take a selfie on my phone of you pointing stupidly at yourself and at the bruise on my neck," I say and I watch her suck her lips into her mouth as she tries not to smile at me. _It's not working McNally._

"Is this for you new boyf... Oh right, no questions," she says as I scold her with my icy glare. She suddenly stands up. "Let's do this then."

She is so clueless. I wouldn't even have had a chance to go see my non-existent boyfriend before I even started work at 8 this morning after she had dropped me off so late last night at Holly's. She doesn't realise that Holly would have been the only one to see this thing on my neck.

* * *

It's been twenty minutes since I sent Holly that photo with the message _"Nerd, I am completely innocent. Andy did it, it's all her fault, I promise."_ I was hoping that the fact I had even attempted to do this photo with Andy, someone Holly knew I was not on good terms with, that there was a better chance she would believe me straight off the bat. _This is so stupid..._

As I stand outside Oliver's new apartment I check my phone once more for a reply while I wait for Traci to get out of my car. I must look worried, because Traci's hand is now on my back. "What's going on?" she asks as she loops her arm through mine and we make our way over to Oliver's building.

"I think Holly thinks that I cheated on her or something, or maybe she doesn't. I don't know, it's all a big misunderstanding which was completely out of my control to begin with."

"What was?"

"This," I say as I reveal my hickey from under my coat collar and she turns to me, her eyes widening at the sight, while she opens the front entrance door for me.

"Someone sucked on your neck and it was out of your control? That sounds..."

"It was life or death!" I exclaim.

"You are going to have to explain this to me," she says shaking her head.

"You know how Andy and I were there last night when that informants brother got shot?" Traci nods dropping my arm as we start ascending up a flight of stairs to the second floor. "Well we were doing surveillance and it got scary quick. We were hiding behind a dumpster and we were probably about to get shot or something, who knows," I say flippantly. "Before I even had time to think, Andy threw me up against a wall and starts to attack neck, basically feels me up, then the guy just brushed us off as a couple of drunks," I say, leaving out the other part where I almost got us killed. "Traci?" I say, turning around, as I haven't heard her say anything in 10 seconds. I find her standing ten meters back down the hallway looking like she is about to start laughing.

"Damn! That girls got killer instincts," she points out as she quickly catches up to me.

"I know. So bloody annoying," I mumble.

"You are going to do something about this, right? What apartment number are we after?" she asks as she looks around.

"Seven. Yes, I am trying, but Holly has been kind of been dodging my calls and texts all day," I say as I point in the opposite direction as we have walked too far, so we turn around and walk a few doors back.

"Well, what the hell are you waiting for, go see her!" she says as she knocks on Oliver's door.

"I can't she left for New York this morning for a conference, she won't be back for three days," I shrug. "By the way, Andy doesn't actually know about Holly yet okay?" and the front door opens and Oliver is standing there wearing an apron with Mr Ed on it.

"Ladies!" he exclaims, pulling us inside. "Come in, make yourself at home," he adds while Traci pulls a bottle of red wine out of her bag and he thanks her.

"I come bearing, well nothing," I say as I look in my own bag.

"Typical Peck. Where's the other one?" he asks, referring to Andy.

"Coming," Traci answers.

Oliver quickly shows us around his new pad, before he canters back to the kitchen, leaving us on the living room sofa with a bottle of wine and some glasses. Celery has gone, I dunno, somewhere; I wasn't paying attention, as I was too busy pouring.

"So Peck," I hear his voice coming from inside the kitchen. "How's Holly?" he asks, momentarily popping his head around the corner, smiling like an idiot.

"Yeah, Peck. How's Holly?" Traci teases next to me and I take a large swig of wine.

"I assume it's Holly I have to thank for those cookies you threw at me the other day, I chose the right thirty minutes to drop by work" he calls out.

"Well you assume wrong, Shaw," I call back exaggerating his name, "they were from Holly's grandmother."

"Meeting the family already, must be going well," he says as he walks back into the lounge.

"How's the sex?" Traci asks and I spit my wine out over the coffee table, which luckily is lined with glass.

"Traci!" I exclaim, completely mortified as I look over to Oliver. "C'mon Gail, we are all girlfriends here," she laughs and Oliver smiles not saying a word and I hear my phone ring in my pocket.

"Thank you Jesus," I say as I stand up and quickly taking my phone out of my pocket, while Traci roles around on the sofa laughing hysterically. Even if it's my mother I am going to answer it to get out of this conversation. But it's not, it's Holly. I move quickly towards the bathroom, and I lock myself in there.

"Hello," I say wearily.

"Hey," she says, sounding very solemn and not her usual perky self. "I got your message."

"Oh yeah? Which one?" I taunt.

"Sorry, I guess I deserve that," she concedes.

"So it seems you had a bit of a freak out for a while there, " I smirk. _I thought that was my job_.

"I did, and I am sorry for how I spoke to you this morning, and for basically ignoring you all day, I just, ugh, this is all new to me," she confesses, and I ponder the fact that she was actually ignoring me. "I haven't done this in so long, I just sort of forgot about the things I had learnt from being in past relationships, and you know... assumptions always seemed to get me into trouble. Whether they were right or wrong."

"Look, I get it," I say as I sit down on the edge of the bath tub and I open my mouth to speak, but...

"It's just at the time I didn't really think much of it. I just saw you lying on the sofa with Gail shark and cheese-puffs, and though you were sleeping, you just looked so sad. I couldn't take it. Tears were falling down your face in your sleep and I just had to be close to you. Comfort you. Hold you. Touch you." Hmm, me too if I remember correctly. "It wasn't until I was on the plane, and had time with my thoughts that my brain started ticking over and over and over. Maybe it was the altitude," she laughs before she clears her throat. "I know you would never do that to me, I wish I had just realised it earlier, and called you back. I am so sorry."

"But I did it to Nick," I surprisingly find myself revealing and there is a brief silence where my lungs get stuck in my throat and I can't breath.

"I don't care. I know you, and I know you wouldn't do that to me, nor I to you" she says sounding extremely sure of herself and I finally exhale. "Because you are my..."

"I know," I interject. Her implication rather obvious to me.

"You know what?" she questions.

"That you are my..." I pause, as I try to build up some courage to say the actual words. "You are my nerdfriend." _Close enough._

"Your nerdfriend?" she giggles.

"Yes, one word, nerd plus friend. Nerdfriend," I repeat, quite pleased with my play on words but there is that silence again and I find myself once again holding my breath. "You don't want to be my nerdfriend?" I ask, as I become increasingly nervous.

"Gail, I would love to be you nerdfriend," she declares and my heart skips a beat.

"Good," I sigh with relief. "So... Good talk," I laugh. "I am surprisingly good at this."

"Yes, especially when someone else is doing all the talking," she laughs and I can't help but agree.

"Precisely. Look, I gotta go, Andy, Traci and I are about to give Oliver a makeover."

"Andy?" she questions. She is probably surprised at the fact that I am hanging out with her.

"Yes. Jealous?" I ask.

"Extremely. Well I am about to go have dinner with your mother and a few other hundred people. Jealous?"

"No. Though I will be exceedingly jealous of the lucky person who gets to sit next to you," I admit.

"Wow! I think I just threw up a little from all the sweetness," she giggles.

"Shut up!" I say loudly and her giggles turn to laughter. "I suppose you don't eat much sugar, so it is understandable," I add.

"Mmm... I do like sugar now and again," she says softly. "When it's offered to me," she murmurs.

"In what form?" I ask suddenly aware this conversation is probably going to start and get dirty if I don't hang up.

"Whipped cream. Oh Elaine, is waving me over, I should go," she tells me.

"What? Are you and _Elaine_ besties now?" I ask, however, I am little scared for her answer. I am not sure i want them getting close. If that is even possible.

"Well I suppose I am kinda officially on the market for a new best friend, so who knows, we'll see how tonight goes," she jokes, though I will never really find the humor in it. It is more frightening than anything else.

"Also, you do realise that you just said my mothers name and whipped cream loosely in the same sentence?"

"Yes, it will be interesting to see if I am sitting next to her when they bring dessert out later," she chuckles.

"Okay, you should probably go before she starts shooting laser beams your way," I warn her.

"Too late. Okay, later gator."

"Bye you big dork," and I hang up and put my phone back in my pocket. I look in the bathroom mirror and find my face is all flushed and kind of sweaty, so I turn the tap on and wash my face with cold water. I make my way out of the bathroom and back into the living room. Andy has arrived and is sitting on the floor at the end of the coffee table, sculling her glass of wine and Traci looks up at me as I walk over them.

"How's the neck" she asks, looking a little concerned, though at this point I couldn't be happier. I am a little surprised I am hiding this fact so well.

"All good," I wink.

"Yeah, how'd he take it?" Andy asks, ever increasingly she grades on my nerves. _Wow! She is such a lightweight,_

"For fuck sake Andy, I don't have a boyfriend! I have a girlfriend!" I blurt out and Traci and Oliver look at each other blankly, before huge grins wash over both their faces and they lean over the coffee table and fist bump each other.

"Seriously guys, fist bumping?" I say highly unimpressed, and I sit back down on the sofa. "So Andy. Where is all the makeup for Olie's makeover?" I ask as I lean over to the coffee table and pick up my glass of wine.

"Gail, I think she is too busy having a aneurism to speak," Traci says and we all laugh at Andy's current state of bewilderment.

"Wait, what makeover?" Oliver asks, seemingly afraid for his life as his eyes dart back and forth between us.


	31. Chapter 27

Thursday

**Holly 7:25pm**

Apart from a brief introduction before our phone call earlier, Superintendent Pecks-a-lot has not talked to me. Yay! :D

**Holly 7:35pm**

Operation Avoidance underway. You don't mind if I give you a running commentary, right? Good, I thought not. BTW, I'm not usually like this. I am only avoiding her for your own benefit. I am a terrible liar.

**Gail**

Oh I am aware. Just try not to use the words "I'm fucking your daughter" and it will all be peachy.

**Holly 7:36pm**

Gail, why must you be so, that doesn't even deserve a response. Plus it's not true.

**Gail**

Yet. Then you're good to go. Sometimes u say the most obvious things u know?

**Holly**

You drive me insane.

**Gail**

Happy to help.

**Holly 7:40pm**

The criminology gods have decided to bless me this evening. I am seated at the opposite end of the table from her. Bad news is I am sitting next to that annoying guy who eats with his mouth open, and his wife "Miss-I'm-too-good-for-a-fork." I suppose I should be used to bad eating habits by now :P

**Gail**

And you haven't even seen me eat lobster. Not pretty.

**Holly 8:20pm**

No whipped cream with dessert. Kinda disappointed. :( Andy latched onto your neck again yet?

**Gail**

Nope. But Traci has.

**Holly**

I still want to know what happened there.

**Holly 8:25pm**

Who is the bossy girl that follows your mother around? I think her name is Monica? She keeps staring at me.

**Gail 8:27pm**

Mother's assistant. Be very careful of that one. I'm sure you'll find out why soon.

**Holly 8:28pm**

Getting a little anxious. Elaine is making her way slowly down the table. I think I just saw a woman cringe.

**Gail 8:31pm**

Are the men holding their balls?

**Holly**

I thought that's just what men do. Boys are gross.

**Holly 8:54pm**

My boss Kate is laughing at me. She swapped seats so she could hold my hand to stop it from shaking.

**Holly 9:04pm**

Shit.

**Holly 9:15pm**

I'm guessing she doesn't like your sarcastic sense of humour? The "you sound just like my daughter" comment I take it, isn't a compliment?

**Gail 9:17pm**

Omg, that is awesome.

**Holly 9:18pm**

Pretty sure she thinks Kate is my girlfriend now. Maybe there should have been less hand holding.

**Gail 9:21pm**

Play it up, otherwise she will probably have you paired off with someone, man or woman, by the end of the conference. Maybe both. I am not kidding. A threesome. That'd be a first for her I think.

**Holly**

Damn. She has done her research. I am married to my job it seems, and Kate to Mike the pool boy. Remember him? At least she approves of my work ethic?!

**Gail 9:22pm**

Yes, I remember his long pole. You have one up on me at least.

**Holly 9:23pm**

Do you think she has noticed I'm typing messages under the table? Luckily Kate is here as well as a distraction.

**Gail**

She would have noticed, but don't let that stop you.

**Holly 9:30pm**

It's all over. You were mentioned only 4 times in the space of 20 minutes.

**Gail 9:35pm**

Did she at least say anything nice about me?

**Holly 9:42pm**

She said you were charming.

**Gail**

I'm assuming there was more to that statement?

**Holly**

Maybe. But she loves you. I can tell.

**Holly 9:55pm**

I don't like you right now.

**Gail**

?

**Holly**

Monica?

**Gail**

I warned you.

**Holly**

:P

**Gail 9:58pm**

Pushed you into a corner did she? Whispered sweet nothings in your ear? Felt you up in the bathroom? Wait, I know! Gropes you under the table while you're at dinner with your parents, brother and her own girlfriend?

**Holly 9:59pm**

Jesus.

**Gail**

That's what I said. It was awful. It took all my willpower not to punch her in the face.

**Holly**

You really are a human magnet.

**Gail**

Well I could say the same for you. What did she do to you then?

**Holly 10:00pm**

Subtly handed me her room key and a somewhat dirty note while your mother thanked me for my input today.

**Gail**

Please tell me you found the grossest guy in the place and handed the key and note to him.

**Holly 10:01pm**

Sorry, I just handed the key back to the front desk of the hotel.

**Gail**

What was the room number?

**Holly**

10-14

**Holly**

Shit! Why did I just tell you that? Don't do anything stupid with that information.

**Gail**

I'm a cop. I'd never do such a thing.

**Holly**

Are you doing a Dr Evil impersonation right now?

**Gail 10:03pm**

Tear her a new one if she tries it on again okay? And I mean this in all seriousness. PLEASE. I have a feeling you could be quite cutting if you had to be.

**Holly**

What a lovely compliment.

**Holly 10:24pm**

Gail-shark is keeping me company in bed. She doesn't bite as much as you do, which is odd for a shark.

**Gail**

That was one time. I can't believe you kidnapped her. Where's the ransom note?

**Holly 10:25pm**

Actually, she came on her own volition. I think she likes me better.

**Gail**

I don't blame her. I do too.

**Gail 10:50pm**

I just got home. Only had one glass of wine so I could drive. Would have liked more to get through the mechanics-of-lesbian-sex discussion they were having around me.

**Holly 10:55pm**

Lol. No join?

**Gail 10:58pm**

No. It was all very weird. It was like I wasn't even there. I mean I was, but I wasn't. I thought my head might explode. They were trying to give me pointers!

**Holly 10:59pm**

Ha! You asked for pointers?

**Gail**

Are you crazy? Of course not. That's what Google is for. I didn't even justify Traci's "how's the sex?" question with an answer. I sat mute for a good 15 minutes.

**Gail 11:00pm**

Anyway, I'm kinda glad they were all drunk. Hope they don't recall anything they said. I'd like to be able to look Oliver in the eye again at some point. Out of body experience. And amongst all the pain of it all, I didn't even learn anything!

**Holly**

I'll just run you through the manuals when I get back.

**Gail**

I thought you were joking about those?

**Holly**

Lol I was! I just don't want that pretty head of yours exploding unnecessarily.

**Gail 11:00pm**

Not for that reason anyway :)

**Holly**

Not for that reason anyway.

**Gail**

Jinx!

**Gail 11:01pm**

Why don't you go feel up Gail-shark in the meantime?

**Holly**

You're sick!

**Gail**

In a charming kind of way?

**Holly**

No, in a sick kind of way.

**Holly 11:20pm**

Gail?

**Gail**

Yes, dear

**Holly 11:21pm**

Wow, even your txts are riddled with sarcasm.

**Gail 11:22pm**

5318008

**Holly**

Charming.

**Holly 11:30pm**

Gail?

**Gail**

Nerd?

**Holly 11:31pm**

Did you want to talk about it?

**Gail**

About what?

**Holly**

The sex stuff.

**Gail 11:35pm**

Sorry, I just had to finish the chapter I was reading.

**Holly**

What are you reading?

**Gail**

A book I stole from your apartment.

**Holly**

Thief! Is it Harry Potter? It is more on your level I suppose :P

**Gail 11:36pm**

Ass! No, it's called "What to do when your nerdfriend asks you to have the sex talk."

**Holly**

*Insert embarrassed emoticon here*

**Gail**

:S

**Holly 11:40pm**

So?

**Gail**

So, I don't know what to say.

**Holly**

I don't know either.

**Gail 11:41pm**

Then it seems we are on the same page then lol

**Holly**

I am not sure we are

**Holly 11:45pm**

I'm a bit scared.

**Gail**

Of what? Sleeping with me?

**Holly 11:46pm**

Yes. Sex with you. I'm scared you will change your mind about me, after the fact. That you won't, ugh I'm being such a girl.

**Gail 11:48pm**

You are a girl, and a very special one that I am quite fond of, and I am pretty certain that won't happen

**Holly**

You can't know that.

**Gail**

But I do know that.

**Holly**

How do you know that?

**Gail**

Just do.

**Gail 11:50pm**

Ello? Don't you believe me?

**Gail 11:51pm**

I am going to do one of your weird-ass nerdy disclaimers for my next msg. So you don't confuse my tone of msg (is that even a thing?) I am going to use your first name to show you that I am being serious.

**Gail 11:55pm**

Holly, I want YOU. Every insecure part of you.

**Gail 11:56pm**

I want you like a monkey craves bananas

**Gail**

Like north poles attract south poles, and vice versa

**Gail**

Like a star hungry for hydrogen

**Gail 11:57pm**

Like a cat that just has to climb trees

**Gail 11:58pm**

Like I yearn for artificial cheese flavouring

**Gail 11:59pm**

Like the desert longs for rain

**Gail**

Like bones need milk

**Holly 12:01am**

Actually there have been studies that have shown milk to be detrimental to bone health. Calcium is an acid neutraliser and milk acidifies our PH, so in turn they cancel each other out.

**Gail**

Fine. Like milk depletes calcium.

**Holly 12:02am**

Lol, sorry. You were on a roll too.

**Gail**

If it makes you feel better, I'm petrified.

**Holly 12:03am**

Nope, no that doesn't really lol

**Gail 12:04am**

And nervous. Actually incredibly nervous. Sex has always been one of those things I have always been confident about and now I just don't know, it's all a bit screwy. I am "feeling" very much out of my depth.

**Holly**

I get it.

**Gail**

You do?

**Holly 12:06am**

Yes. I haven't done this in sometime. I am having all the same feelings, though I am not really sure if I ever had this sex-confidence you speak of.

**Gail**

I for one think you ooze sex-confidence, well, that and confidence in general really. It's part of the attraction.

**Holly 12:07am**

You are being awfully sweet and honest tonight. Are you sure you didn't have more than one glass of wine?

**Gail**

You can't tell, but I'm giving you the finger right now. And when you say sometime? Like, how long are we talking here? 6 months?

**Holly 12:08am**

Um, no.

**Gail**

10 months?

**Holly**

You want the exact number?

**Gail 12:09am**

Yes, I'd like to know so I can compare levels of petrification.

**Holly**

How does 21 months sound?

**Holly 12:12am**

What, no dig? I'm disappointed, Officer.

**Gail 12:13am**

Holly, I am not going to tease you. I am sure there are reasons. Probably three-fold knowing you. Traci said something to me the other night. Remember after you scared me into my bedroom and walked in on me in my underwear?

**Holly 12:14am**

I vaguely recall, yes. It was... It's been plaguing my mind quite a bit.

**Gail 12:15am**

Perv. Well when she was talking me down from whatever tree I was up, she told me that you were more nervous than you had ever been around someone. She told me to get back out there to you so we could be awkward and nervous together, and that's what we did. So, maybe we do that again?

**Holly**

I thought you didn't know what you were going to say about the subject?

**Gail 12:16am**

It's my new thing. I can't seem to shut my mouth lately. It's your entire fault. It's going to get me into trouble someday soon, well, if it hasn't already. :P

**Holly**

Well if you were here now I'd find another way to shut you up, good and proper.

**Gail**

O_o

**Holly 12:17am**

No, but seriously. Don't feel you have to jump right in there (I am not being facetious). We don't need to rush this. If you need to, just talk to me about it (you seem to be good at that now!). I have always found the prospect of being with someone new unnerving. I think it's only natural, though I can see why these feelings would be elevated for you. They were for me my first time with a woman, though it's probably a bit different as I had years to think about it, not to say you haven't before, I don't know what goes on in that crazy mind of yours. It will happen when it happens, and maybe in that moment when it everything feels right, those feelings won't matter anymore.

**Gail 12:18am**

I trust you.

**Holly**

That's a good start.

**Holly 12:20am**

On that note, it's bedtime. I found out tonight that as well as doing 4 panels fri/sat, I have also been signed up to run some practical demonstrations offsite, so I am going to be pretty busy and probably won't have time to chat because I will be sleeping the rest of the time. But I will be dreaming about you.

**Gail**

In my underwear no doubt. Though I think that is a little unfair.

**Holly 12:21am**

I am not sending a half nude picture out into the world.

**Gail**

How did u? Lol, fine.

**Gail 12:22am**

Okay, I'll let you be then. Just let me know at some point when you will be arriving home Sunday. Still don't know my schedule, I just hope I end this operation with a day off. I hope the days coming will bearable for you. Say hi to my mother for me, not!

**Holly 12:25am**

Goodnight. I hope this photo will do.

**Gail 12:26am**

For a proof of life photo, Gail-shark looks very comfortable lying next to you. And you look pretty happy for a kidnapper? Maybe not, you look a bit serialkiller-ish.

**Holly**

Um, thanks? I couldn't be bothered moving from my bed. And it's past midnight, so it's too early to get today's newspaper and do it right. Anyway, she came on her own accord, remember? At least my finger wasn't over the lens!

**Gail 12:27am**

I'll give you that. Night nerd.

**Holly 12:35am**

Did you really look stuff up on Google?

**Gail 12:36am**

Shhh. Sleeping.

**Gail 12:40am**

Yes.

* * *

"Aunty G!" Leo shouts and before I can drop my bag on the floor I feel his small arms wrap around my waist.

"Hey buddy," I say warmly. "How old are you now? You're not getting too big for hugs are you?"

"Gail!" Chris scolds from the sofa, dropping his head back in disbelief against the cushions.

"What?" I innocently chuckle looking in his direction and i drop my bag on the floor.

Leo squeezes me tighter and lifts his head up towards me. "I'm 10. Mum says I am never too old for hugs," he tells me assuringly. _This kid is cute._

"Fair enough, kid. I guess what mum says, goes," I tell him and he releases me from his tight grip and takes my hand and walks me over to the sofa and we fall down into cushions next to Chris.

"How was your day, dear?" Chris asks, his attention now fully focused back on his video game, while Leo plays with the rings on my fingers.

"Pretty good now," I say, smiling down at Leo who silently asks to take the skull ring off my finger, and I nod. "I am just glad this operation is finally over. I was so sick of sitting on my ass all day. My back is killing me. I have so much tension in my shoulders. For not doing much of anything, I feel like I have been put through the ringer."

"Cut yourself a break, you got S.H.O.T recently" Chris spells out, and I admire how clueless he can be sometimes.

"I'm not two, Chris. I can spell, "shot" silly."

"Yeah Chris!" I tease, "He's not two!" I reiterate and we all laugh.

"Mum told me anyway. I'm happy you're okay, G" he smiles up at me.

"Thanks, buddy," I say as I give his hair a bit of a tussle."So Chris, you are on babysitting duty tonight?" I assume. As much as I love hanging with the little big man, I don't think I am up for it tonight. I need to rest every part of my body, including my voice. The amount of times I have had to tell McNally to shut up over the past four days...

"No, I just picked Leo up from school for Traci. Actually what time is it?" Chris asks as he pauses his game.

I look at my watch as Leo turns his attention to the bracelet on my opposite wrist. "It's nearly four," I answer.

"Traci should be here very soon to pick him up," Chris says. _Excellent_.

"Hey did you want to go swimming with me later?" I ask Chris. As much as I dislike exercising, I'm thinking this may relieve some of the weeks stress from my body, and I also wouldn't mind a spa. "We could grab dinner after?"

"You buying?" he asks.

"Um, I guess? Though what do I get in return?"

"Damn," Chris shrugs.

"What?"

"Everyone's been talking about how nice you have been all week, I was hoping it might spill over onto me. I was thinking perhaps I wouldn't have to do anything in return," he cheekily grins and I swiftly punch him in the arm. _Fucker. You were testing me?_

"You guys should stop fighting. G, I will tell your mum on you," Leo warns with a sneaky smile. _The kids got game._

"This is a cool bracelet," Leo states, his fingers brushing over the skull charms as Chris looks over at it, and me.

"Is that new?" Chris asks.

"Holly gave it to me."

"Who's Holly?" Leo asks, his eyes innocently catching mine. I look at Chris, and he shrugs his shoulders and smiles. _What the hell do I say?_

"Um, Holly is my girlfriend," I admit and I watch Leo's eyes become pensive before they widen.

"Your girlfriend? Sweet!" Leo exclaims just as Traci walks though the front door.

"Yay! Your mum is here, if you have any questions, ask her," I tell him as I quickly stand up and I slowly start walking towards the bathroom.

"Smooth, Gail," Chris chuckles.

"Hey Traci," I nod in passing.

"Mum, Auntie G said she has a girlfriend" Leo says, getting up to greet her. _Shit! I didn't mean right this second!_

"I'm just gonna... head um this way," I stammer, pointing in the direction of the bathroom. "Shower. Ok, bye."

"Ok," Traci scoffs.

"I'll see you again soon, buddy," I call to Leo as I enter the bathroom and shut the door, my back falling back against it. _Did I just came out to ten year old?_

I move over to the shower and I turn the taps on. I quickly shed my clothes and jump in and start to wash the day away. At least it was a day that ended with a pleasant surprise. The fact that I don't have to go to work tomorrow or Monday has put me in a good mood, however stressed my body feels. Which means I can pick up Holly up from the airport. It's only been a few days, but I have missed her. Her face. Her laugh. Her lopsided grin. Our comfortable silences. Her absence has been far too noticeable; it surprises me how much so. Just the thought of getting to see her again makes me smile, and I don't have to wait much longer. That's if she ever replies to my last message.

I hop out of the shower and dry myself off and put my underwear back on. I can't hear voices anymore, so I peak out the bathroom door to see if there is any life. The coast is clear, so I step out and walk towards my bedroom. As I kick the door open I throw my head down so I can wrap a towel around my hair.

"Hey you big scaredy cat. Nice bruise," I hear, and I raise my head to find Traci lying lazily across my bed.

"Why must everyone walk in on me in my underwear," I utter.

"Um, you walked in here and who's everyone?" she asks, as I still stand there half naked. _It's my bedroom!_ It's too late to cover up. I suppose she has seen it all before.

"I dunno, you. Holly?" I laugh and she raises an eyebrow.

"Why are you still here?" I ask abruptly.

"Your brother drove one of your fathers fancy cars over. Chris and Leo are outside playing with it," she sighs.

"Which one?" I ask. "Overt your eyes I am about to get naked," I add as I fumble through my dresser and I find my bathing suite that I plan to put on under my clothes.

"Which one what?" she asks as she lies down on her back and I remove my underwear.

"Which car did he drive?" I roll my eyes, as I quickly pull on my bathing suite.

"Oh, I dunno the silver shiny one," she says, and I grin at the fact Steve's choice of car is what I was hoping for. Something I can finally make Traci uncomfortable with. She has done it all too often to me lately.

"Ha. Steve lost his virginity in that car!" I blurt out and she raises her back off the bed and leans on her elbows.

"You're kidding?"

"Yup, he got down and dirty in the front seat with the first chick that flashed him her tits," I joke, as I jump up and down trying to get into my jeans. _Maybe I ate too many donuts this week?_

"Really?"

"Oh my god, you are so gullible! I don't know? He did have sex in there though," I say, and I turn around as her face tenses, "multiple times," I add and I sit on the bed next to her.

"So how are things going with you two?" I ask, and she shakes her head violently, probably ridding herself of any unwanted mental images I may have just put in there.

"Well we are not having sex in cars, that's for sure!" she laughs.

"Ew gross! I don't want to hear about you and my brothers sex-capades,"

"There are no sex-capades, Gail," she says softly, kicking her feet awkwardly together.

"Really?" I ask, thinking she might be in the same boat as me.

"Really," she casually nods. _Interesting_. I grab for my shirt on the end if the bed next to me as we sit in silence.

"Did we freak you out the other night" she hesitates, "with all the sex talk?" I hope she is realising how embarrassing that was.

"I'm over it, it's fine now," I say, though deep down I am still a little annoyed at their lack of tact towards my new feelings.

"Now? Shit, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," she says putting a calming hand on my shoulder.

"It's fine, really," I assure her. "It's not like I wasn't thinking about all that stuff..." I say as I stare at her, "anyway, Holly and I talked about it."

"You did?" she asks sounding surprised at my uncharacteristic admission. "That's very grown up of you," she smiles. "To be honest, if I were you, I'd be shitting myself about now."

"Yeh," I sigh as I fall back on the bed, my back hurting as it hits the mattress. _Couldn't agree more._

"When's she coming home?"

"I pick her up at the airport tomorrow. That's if she ever gets back to me," I sigh.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothin." I try and dismiss, but the words just want to keep coming. "I just haven't really heard from her in two days. I mean, she warned me she was going to be super busy, but I dunno... she usually sends me some type of funny message. Whatever, but…"

"Is that you?" Traci interrupts, and I look across at her. "I can hear beeping," she adds.

"Oh, it's probably my phone, it's out in my bag in the lounge," I explain. She pokes me in the arm.

"Maybe it's Holly," she stupidly grins and I find myself jumping up from my bed, back pain be damned. "You are so whipped," she laughs and I stop jogging at my bedroom door.

"Shut the ef up!" I laugh and I calmly walk out to fetch my phone from my bag, as Traci's laughter rings through my ears. "She forwarded me her flight information," I call out as I walk back into my room with it, reading the message. I stop in my tracks at the end of the bed. "This is weird," I mumble to myself. "Flight 5800, Toronto to New York," I read out and I look up and stare at Traci blankly. "This has my name written on it. Departs in an hour and a half. What the fuck?" I say loudly, holding my phone away from me like it has a disease. Traci gets onto her knees and crawls across my bed and quickly takes the phone from me.

"This is from the airline," she says. _No shit!_ "Um, Gail, now your phone is ringing," she says holding it back to me, and I look at the caller ID. "Of course," I mumble, and I swipe the screen to answer while my other hand finds itself nervously resting on my forehead.

"Hello, Elaine," I drone. This can't be good.


	32. Chapter 28 a)

My hands shake as I stand nervously outside the ballroom door. _Crap, now my ass is sweating._ I look up the corridor and watch the hotel porter turn the corner and disappear with my bag as I blindly fumble for the compact mirror in my purse, but my hands don't seem to want to comply with such a simple task. I violently shake out the tension in my hand then make a second attempt at it. _Success!_ I open it and check my make-up in the small mirror, running the topside of my finger under my bottom lip to catch any lipstick smudges. It doesn't look half bad for the complete rush job I had done in the taxi on my way over here from the airport. I close my eyes. "What on earth am I doing here?" I snap the compact shut before returning it to my purse. It's now or never. _Never. Always never._

I push open the entrance doors and as I step over the threshold I immediately grab the attention of the waiter passing by me carrying a tray of champagne. I wedge my purse under my armpit and accept a glass from him. "Wait! Hold up!" I plead as I take a hold of his forearm and down the entire thing in front him, returning the glass to the tray while simultaneously taking another. _Shit, this stuff is good!_

"Don't worry love, there is plenty more of where that came from," he smiles and he notices my hand shaking as I hold the champagne glass tightly.

The thing is, I am already a tad light-headed from the alcohol I had on the plane, and a few more of these will surely tip me over the edge. "Sorry," I apologise, taking a step back, "but that is the best news I have heard all day."

The sound hits me like a freight train. That shrill laugh cannot only be heard by dog's miles away, but most likely from the moon. I can imagine Holly would not agree with my factually weak musings. I glance over my shoulder and see my mother surrounded by a group of well-dressed people. Actually this whole shindig is quite fancy I notice, looking around the ballroom. _Ugh, so many people._ I turn and face in her direction while I look down at my dress. I nervously brush the fabric then readjust it on my hips before returning my attention to her, as I fully intend on walking her way. However, my eyes catch sight of someone further into the distance, who is standing alone in a corner, being anti-social by a food table, just one of many food tables I couldn't help but notice moments earlier.

My hand hits the bottom of my sternum as I allow myself to catch the breath that had momentarily gotten away from me. Holly is the epitome of beauty right now. I have never seen her wear a dress before. I wasn't even sure she owned one, but she certainly owns this one. So much so I feel the need to... _Don't finish that thought._ It's small, it's black, it's classic. I must look like a total creeper ogling her like this. What is wrong with me? _But her legs in those heels..._ I raise my hand up to my face and rub my tired eyes. I have drunken too much already; perhaps my judgement is a little cloudy. _You_ _keep telling yourself that._

I place the full glass of champagne back onto a waiter's tray that happens to walk by. My attention returns to Holly who picks up her glass off of the table in front of her and takes a sip while she sways gently on the spot, watching all the people pass her by. A weak smile splashes across her face and she raises her hand to politely wave to someone across the room. But it's looks fake, pained even. I decide to put one foot in front of the other and slowly make my way across the room towards her, milling through the endless amounts of people in my way, the whole time my eyes staying fixated on her and her dark wavy hair, her face naked from her absent glasses. She places her glass back on the table and reaches down the front of her dress pulling her phone out from her chest and she quickly glances at it. She slowly moves backwards towards the wall and slides closer to one of the many doors of this gigantic ballroom we're in. She cautiously looks around her before stepping through it, as if she is worried someone might notice her exit. My pace quickens and I walk straight past my mother and through the door after her. I see her far in the distance down the end of the of the long corridor before she turns into the next one that crosses it. I cringe with every step I take, as these heels are doing nothing for my sore back, and the muscles through the top of my shoulders, so I stop and take them off before I start jogging after her. When I turn the next corner and into a narrower hallway, I see she has disappeared, so I slow to a walk. I see the sign for the ladies room, so I can only assume she is in there. As I move closer, I can hear her talking. Something about 'receiving my messages?' I lean up against the wall next to the entrance and I take my phone out of my purse. I had turned it off before my flight and had forgotten to turn it back on. _Whoopsie_.

As I wait for her outside, I drop my heels and purse onto the floor. I know I am going to startle her, but I don't really care. I can hear her coming from the sound of her heels tapping against the hard concrete of the bathroom floor. As she takes a few steps out into the hallway, I slide my hand down her arm closest to me, before taking her by the wrist and swinging her back around towards me, and I pull her up against me.

"Fuck me, Gail!" she curses in surprise, and the words ring repeatedly in my ears as she takes a firm hold of my forearms, and I do the same back to her. Before I know it, the first word that comes into my head has made its way to the tip of my tongue.

"Okay," I say quietly as my forehead falls against hers, but she quickly steps back just after they meet, her mouth slightly opening as she nervously adjusts her glasses with her hand up the side of her cheek. _Where was she hiding those?_ I can't help but smile through the seconds she stands there, at the adorable dumbfounded expression that has taken over her flushed face.

"Wait, what did you say?" she asks as she closes the distance again.

"Ahem," I hear, as someone clears their throat. _Please, don't let it be mother._ We instantaneously break apart. "Dr. Stewart, they seem to be flocking to you from all directions this week," a women says as we both turn towards her.

"Huh?" I mumble as I look at Holly, who is still surprised by this woman's sudden presence. _What the hell does she mean?_

"Please tell me this is your girlfriend," the woman cheekily laughs, pressing her hands together as if she were praying.

"You know it is," Holly smirks.

"Dr. Kate Stephenson, this is Officer Gail Peck," she says turning her head to me, "my girlfriend," she smiles. And we both acknowledge the fact that it's the first time I have heard those words come out of her mouth and a smile plasters across my face. "Dr. Stephenson is my boss."

"We are going for formal introductions today it seems," Kate says as she takes a step towards me and offers me her hand. "It's nice to finally put a face to the name Officer Peck," she smiles as I firmly shake her hand and return the smile. However, she lingers, curiously staring me straight in the eye, like I am a book she needs to study. It's not entirely awkward, but it's getting there. _Are all pathologists weirdoes?_

"You are right, Stewart,"

"Right about what?" I ask, completely confused.

"Those are very..."

"Kate don't," Holly chuckles, stopping her from finishing her sentence. _Was she about to compliment me?_ Kate smirks as she looks down at her watch and gradually starts moving backwards towards the main corridor from where we came.

"Stewart, it's almost time for your thing. I thought I should come find you."

"Shit! Ok. I will be there in a few minutes," Holly says as the women quickly disappears from our sight.

"What thing?" I ask, and Holly turns and steps backwards away from me and falls back against the opposite wall and I watch her take in a deep breath.

"Gail, what are you doing here?" she asks bluntly. That's definitely not happiness I'm seeing.

* * *

"Hello, Elaine," I drone. This can't be good.

Traci looks at me and rolls her eyes at me knowingly as she falls back onto my bed and closes her eyes. She has heard all about the stories of my mother's shenanigans. I guess that's something she has probably been thinking about herself these past few weeks.

"Sweetheart, why do insist on calling me that?" my mother complains. Wow! She is already annoyed at me. _I just can't win!_

"Well it is your name, so..." I trail off. "If you'd prefer, I could call you Superintendent?" I sarcastically reply and I watch Traci chuckle.

"I'd settle for mum," she states plainly. _Whatever, Elaine._

"Well then, _mum_ , how can I help you?" I say rolling my eyes, as I wonder how she is going to spin this. Maybe she figured out the whole Holly thing and wants to make me squirm in person, that'd be right. _Typical. Why am I not surprised_?

"How's work been?" she asks. "I heard you were pivotal in helping Steve bust a big time arms dealer. I am proud of you." Never have those words ever rung true; this time is still no exception. _She is buttering me up for something, that's for sure._

"Work is fine, mum. Just happy to be back after getting shot. Did you hear about that too?" I ask, and Traci sits up and cringes at my words. I'm not expecting an actual answer. I just had to throw it in her face. Although I may not admit it or show it to anyone, especially her, it hurts that she didn't even bother to contact me to check that I was okay. I suppose jumping in front of a bullet for someone doesn't warrant appraisals or sympathy from her. At least I got some from Holly. Eventually. Even my father, a man of very few words had sent me a message later that evening. 'I love you, pumpkin.' it had read, and that is all I needed to hear from him.

As I expect, the phone line doesn't go silent for long. "So did you get the airline ticket information? I'd like you to come to New York and see me."

"Sorry, I can't, I am working," I tell her.

"Sweetheart, I know you are not on shift tomorrow. I checked." Damn that woman.

"I'm covering for Chris," I lie.

"I know for a fact he is off too." Damn you again.

"Well why don't you invite him to New York to visit you instead," I laugh and she audibly sighs down the phone line.

"I have asked some of the ladies in our group if they would like to go shopping in the morning before our flights back home, I had planned on buying them lunch as a thank you for their help," she surprisingly reveals. It is a little strange and a generous these words coming out of her mouth right now. "I thought it might be nice if you came along. I'd like to spend some time with my only daughter. Perhaps we can find you something nice to wear to that event next week?"

"Let me get this straight, you want to take me shopping? You want to spend actual time, with me? Your daughter?" I say, spacing out my words for added emphasis.

"Gail, please don't be like this," she pleads.

"I'm sorry, mum, I'm just finding it all a little hard to believe right now."

"Contrary to popular belief, I love you, sweetheart," she states and the line goes silent on both ends. I can't help but feel there is an ulterior motive here, but the fact that she just said those words to me, now, has me questioning everything.

Traci notices no one is talking and raises her hands in the air. "What's going on?" she whispers and I drop the phone from my ear.

"Supposedly she loves me and wants to buy me dresses," I whisper back, immediately putting the phone back to my ear, and she raises her eyebrows at me. _Exactly_.

"You should go," Traci urges, and I shake my head vigorously.

"Gail?" I hear my mother say, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "Your flight is at 5:30pm," she states and I watch Traci form a love heart with her hands over her chest as she mouths Holly's name at me. I scrunch up my face and push her hard into my bed as she laughs at me. Of course the thought of seeing Holly again so soon had immediately crossed my mind as soon as she mother uttered the words 'New York', but it doesn't mean I should jump on a plane, does it? _Sure it does_. "A driver will be picking you up in twenty minutes. You should wear that red vintage dress, as there is an end of conference ball in the main hotel ballroom tonight. But you will have to get a taxi from the airport to the hotel. I will message you the hotel information shortly. Your name has been added to my room, so just make contact at the front desk when you get here. You will be here just in time for dinner. You like your food don't you?" She asks. Did my mother almost crack a joke? "Oh, and Gail?"

"What?" I grumble.

"Don't wear black, sweetheart," she says and she hangs up and I throw my phone on my bed almost hitting Traci in the process. _I'll fucking wear black if I want too._

"So? What's the go then?" Traci asks and turn around and drop heavily on to the edge of my bed.

"Seems I'm going to New York to go shopping with mother," I say as I slump even more than I already was.

"I think you are failing to see the plus side in this situation. You will be in one of the most romantic cities in the world and now you can spend all night with Holly," she says. She is not wrong there.

"Should I warn Holly I am coming?" I ask.

"No, surprise her. She will love it! I'm sure it will be a welcome reprieve from all that time she has had to spend with your mother over the past few days."

"Feels a little creepy, though," I admit.

"It's not creepy. When do you leave?" she asks as she hops off the bed.

"There's a driver picking me up in twenty," I tell her as she makes her way over to my bedroom door.

"Okay, I'll leave you to it then."

"Wait," I say as I get up and walk over to my closet. I search for the red dress my mother mentioned and the token black one I would have chosen. I pull them out and hold them up to Traci who is standing under the doorframe.

"Which one?" I ask.

"The strapless red one, definitely. You look hot in that. Like Marilyn," she says and I stare blankly at it. _Of course she'd choose that_. "Gail, it will be fine. You will be fine," she assures me and I look at her as she taps her hand on the door then leaves.

I run around like a mad woman for the next 15 minutes, packing the essentials into the smallest suitcase I own. I put on the red dress, and my long black overcoat and quickly throw my hair up into some sort of manageable doo. I go in search for the pair of heels I want and that have been missing for a while in the bottom of my closet. I have so many boxes full of shoes. I find the ones I want, but not before I see another box I haven't looked at in years. I reluctantly open it up, and find my old Pentax film camera. I look further into the box for a spare roll of film and I find myself looking at the used by date. It has long since expired. It wasn't meant to be it seems, so I throw the roll of film and the camera back in the box and close the closet door. I step into my heels and grab my purse, pulling out twenty dollars in the process. I grab my suitcase and drag it out into the lounge while I throw the money at Chris. "Here, buy yourself something pretty. Or a pizza, whatever," I say.

"Wait, where are you... Gail you look... like Wow!' Seriously" he says looking me up and down and I can't help but blush a little. For such a gentleman, he was never subtle when looking at me.

"Going to New York, I'll be back tomorrow sometime," I tell him as I open the front door then close it behind me, but I stop, and hold onto the doorknob and take a deep breath. I let go of my suitcase and open the door again and walk back inside and straight to my room and back into my closet, and I pull out my camera. I'm sure I could find some film at the airport. If the stuff even still exists. I make my way out into the lounge and I notice Chris following me with his eyes and I stop in the middle of the room and smirk at him.

"Sorry, you look hot," he says and I walk over to him on the couch and grab his chin and briefly kiss him on the lips.

"That's the last one of these you are ever going to get, okay?" I smile as I shake his head. I let go of his chin and walk back over to the open door with my camera around my neck. "Later, idiot."

* * *

Her facial expression hasn't changed in ten seconds. "Sorry, maybe... Shit! I shouldn't have come," I stammer, and I cringe as my back hits the wall opposite from her and I drop my head to my chest. _You are so stupid, why did you come here?_

I suddenly feel her hands on my shoulders and she pulls me into a very tight embrace. "I am so glad you're here. I missed you," she says, and the tension between my shoulders finally disappears and I put my arms around her and return the sentiment.

"I missed you too, Holly."


	33. Chapter 28 b)

"I missed you too, Holly."

She draws in some quick breaths as she squeezes me tighter. I must admit it hurts. It hurts a lot. Both her arms are curled straight up my back and her hands pull down on my shoulders from the weight of her tired body. I could say something, but I am willing to grin and bear it because I am just thankful for the contact. Plus it feels like she needs this, maybe more than I do.

She sighs deeply, burrowing her chin deeper into my neck, relaxing as she loosens her hold on me. "I really did," she mumbles into my neck before softly kissing me on my bare shoulder, the shear lightness of it makes my eyes flutter shut. She releases me from our embrace, however she doesn't step away. She slides her hands down to my waist, lifting her body up off of me so she is directly in front of me. She looks into my eyes like she is searching for something, whether or not she found anything, I can't be sure. "Miss you, I mean," she continues with a subtle smile, brushing my hair back as her gaze starts to wander around my face.

"Holly," I say softly, and her eyes return to pierce my own.

"Mmm..." she hums.

"You seem quite tense," I tell her.

"Better now that your here," she smiles again and leans in and kisses me on the cheek. "Why are you here again?" she asks her expression now the complete opposite to what it was when she asked me the same thing a few minutes ago.

"My mother ordered me onto a plane so I could go shopping with her tomorrow. I guess you'll have to find your own way home from the airport now."

"Actually, not necessarily, because I am coming too," she confesses, playfully raising her shoulders up and down in quick succession.

"Oh, okay. So we are both going shopping," I pause as I get lost in the thought, "with my mother, that's... Interesting." I add as I drop my head. _This is too strange._

I fall silent for a few seconds before regaining my composure. "Holly, you didn't actually answer my question," I recall as I lift my head back up, but her eyes are clearly focused on my chest.

"Well," she pauses and her eyes finally find mine again, "you will see one of the reasons why in a few minutes," she declares as she goes back to nervously adjusting her glasses while taking a step back from me. "Full discloser?" she asks, a statement that kind of worries me, but I nod anyway.

"I have had weirdest few days here," she says shaking her head in disbelief. "To be honest I am kind of in avoidance mode again."

"From my mother?" I wonder, as I realise I haven't spoken to Holly for a few days and have been ever so curious about how it all turned out with my her, but I fail to see why she would even agree to go shopping with her if it were all bad?

"Actually no, your mother has been rather pleasant," she says with an element of surprise in her voice. "In her own special way," she smiles. _Wow!_ I am completely floored.

"It's that stupid bitch Monica isn't it? I knew she would have a crack again, the fucking ho bag," I snap and Holly laughs as she takes hold of my forearms again.

"Well yes, and no," she bops her head from side to side. "She's gone. But that's an entirely different story in itself" she laughs, her face concurrently rendering a hint of confusion and disbelief.

"Actually," she pauses to bite the corner of her bottom lip, "my ex is here," she announces, and my muscles tense even more than they already were. They were the last words I was ever expecting to come out of that pretty mouth of hers.

"Your ex?" I repeat as I take one step away from her and back into the wall, but she holds on and travels with me, playfully giving my arms a shake as she smiles at my attempt to retreat.

"She, er... Heidi, that is, is in the same field, but she lives in Boston."

"Icky inscription girl," I mumble and Holly unexpectedly laughs at me.

"Yes, that is the one. I honestly forgot she could have been here. Thankfully she doesn't come to these things very often."

"Ok, so why are you avoiding her, was it a bad break up or something?"

She blows out a puff of air and stares up at the ceiling, "Why am I avoiding her?" she repeats, shaking her head. "Because she is a complete and utter emotional cripple who made my life a living hell, and, well, I kind of hate her really and I don't particularly want to be in the same room as her," she states resolutely. Again, with the unexpected words, though I have to say I am somewhat happy about it. Obviously not because there is probably some pain mixed in there with her scornful remarks, but because it seems I don't have anything to worry about which is always a good thing. The added stress of an ex, for me, in such a new relationship would be the last thing I need. I mean it's hard not to notice my insane jealously at anyone who has an interest Holly, for example Chris and bartender lady, or even a simple inscription in a book can make my blood boil it seems.

"You said hate. I thought you don't like the word hate?" I scoff, and she brushes her thumb over my cheek.

"You are right, I don't," she says and I wait curiously for her to rescind her comment.

"What?" she asks, tugging on my arm.

"I was waiting for you to backtrack from your previous hate comment," I scoff.

"Oh, yeah? No." she says scrunching her nose and casually raising her shoulders. "You are talking like a woman scorned," I say.

"You know, I could tell you about it, but..." she stops mid sentence, backing away from me, her eyes blatantly wandering up and down my body before she starts patting me down from my waist to my thighs and I jolt at the sudden contact. "Sorry, just checking for a gun," she says and I peer down at her grinning widely as her hands slide all the way down to my ankles as they search for this non-existent gun, even though my dress stopped just above my knees.

"Lucky me?" I say and I survey the hallway to see if anyone has noticed us, as I could see how this would look particularly weird to anyone walking by.

"Anyway," she meanders as her hands casually move up the back of my calf's, "you would probably kill her and I'm not sure if I particularly want to hide the evidence for you," she smirks as her fingers graze the insides of my thighs, and I bite my lip as my head falls back then quickly forward again so I can watch what she is doing to me. Her hands find their way back to my waist, and right when I think she's done torturing me, they slide up and around my ribcage, her eyes still following the movement of her own hands with a lustful intensity as she cups my breasts.

"Um, I don't think you'll find a gun in there," I joke and she smirks as her eyes shift back and focus on mine.

"No?" she asks with a raised brow while she gently squeezes, forcing me to bite my lip and hold my breath as I shake my head in response.

"Okay," she says cavalierly, letting go. "So yeah, an eventful few days there to say the very least," she notes, looking at her watch like nothing just happened and my mouth falls open like I have had a stroke. "Anyway, I should probably get back," she moans stepping away from me as I try to remain in an upright position. _What the fuck?_

"You go. I have to go to the bathroom." I say, grimacing as I force myself to bend over and pick up my purse and heels off the floor.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asks, bending over with me.

"Oh nothing," I say as I wave her away, hoping she doesn't touch me again because I don't think I could take it. "Sore muscles everywhere. Too much sitting down in a van it seems."

"Okay, are you sure?" she asks and I wave her on again. _Yes, I'm fucking sure._

"Go. Get. I'll meet you in there," I tell her as I put one of my heels back on, however I am interrupted by her lips on mine and my head hits the wall from the shear force of one single kiss.

"Oh, hello there," I giggle as she breaks away and she winks at me before she runs down the hallway, looking perfect I might add, and in heels.

She stops where the halls cross. "I can't believe you are here," she calls out.

"I can't believe you called my mother pleasant!" I call back. Or just felt me up in public. _You could get arrested for that. Well, no you couldn't, but I'd like to._

"Believe it, baby!" I hear as she disappears, and my head falls back against the wall, then I proceed to slide down it to the floor.

"That is one sexy forensic pathologist," I say as I let out a deep breath and I place my purse and other shoe onto my lap. "I think I need that other drink now."


	34. Chapter 28 c)

With my back pressed firmly against the wall I continue to draw in some deep calming breathes while I wait for the blood to circulate back through to the parts of my body from where it once came. Hopefully my legs are still working to some degree and that the short walk back to the ballroom will help aid in recovering some sort of natural stride to my step, though these heels might make that a bit of a challenge.

I feel my phone buzz in my lap, so I remove it from my purse only to reveal I have eleven new message notifications that are all from Holly and I open the most recent.

Holly _: Are you just going to sit out there all night?_

It's literally been two minutes since I slid down to the floor and onto my ass. I am betting she is feeling pretty smug right about now. I shake my head as I type out my reply and then I hit send.

Gail _: Wa? How did u?_

Holly _: By the way you were trembling. I could feel your legs were about to give out on you. I can only assume you collapsed onto the floor as soon as I left you._

Okay, probably really _really_ smug.

Gail _: You don't play fair._

Holly _: You will just have to get me back later!_

Gail _: Oh it's on, Lunchbox! Though I am not sure whether u deserve the same treatment._

Holly _: I definitely do. Bring it!_

Smiling, I peel myself off the floor with some help from my new best friend, wall. I couldn't have done this without you buddy. _Yup_ , _definitely buzzed._ I struggle to keep my balance on one leg as I pull on my other heel, almost falling over in the process, much to the amusement of a hotel porter walking past me. _Its okay, you dick! I don't need help! I have wall for that!_ With two feet now firmly planted on the ground, I shake my head in amazement and scoff at the fact that something so brief could have such an effect on me. That _she_ could have such an effect on me.

I'm pretty sure she is some kind of evil-nerd-goddess-type-creature from another planet here to brainwash me and bury herself deep into my already questionable psyche. She has certainly done her damage. People are starting to notice a change in me. Hell, even I am starting to notice! Don't get me wrong, I am still a snarky a-hole, but I am a very happy one. I honestly think for the first time I can actually feel the one emotion that has eluded me for so long in every relationship, now, without that nagging feeling that someone is going to run from me. _I can only hope that doesn't happen._

At any rate, she has to be punished for having reduced me into a crumpled mess on this dirty hotel hallway floor, and my sweet revenge is definitely going to happen when she least expects it. Holly Stewart you better watch out, because I am coming for you!

I make my way back to the ballroom pausing briefly in front of the doors to readjust my boobs in the dress she just playfully manhandled and my mind starts to wander again. She has obviously been suffering to some extent these past three days, something I'd like to get to the bottom of, but I am happy I could at least make her feel better, even if for only a moment. I must admit, my boobs are pretty happy too. If some quick emotionally drained fuelled feel-up on her part can elicit this kind of reaction from me, I can't even fathom what is going to happen to me when she actually has her way with me. _Jesus!_ _Somebody_ _help me!_

I rigorously shake my body in an attempt to forget my current chain of thought as I begin to venture into a zoo of people in order to interact with my mother. Walking into the crowd for the second time this evening, I notice the drop in noise immediately. Everyone has their attention directed towards the stage listening to some old dude hammering on behind the podium. I have spent so many years learning to drain out this kind of stuff that it has become second nature to me and it's a skill I am quite happy to have in my arsenal.

I search the crowd for my mother and my eyes catch the back of her tiny head. She looks quite nice in a slimming black evening gown with a burgundy wrap around her shoulders. _Why the hell does she get to wear black and not me?_ Her fashion sense has always been something I have admired. Not that I'd ever tell her that. She already has way too much say over my wardrobe so I don't feel the need to give her even more ammunition to do so. I mean, she picked out this dress for me! Possibly even bought it for me. It's a nice dress too. _Damn her._

She seems to be particularly wrapped up in what the old dude is saying, but there are too many people between us for me to just barge through and approach her. _What a pity, not!_ I continue to scan the room for Holly, but there is no sign of her. However, I do see her boss Kate, standing alone at the back of the crowd, so I figure why not go and inflict some awkward on her instead. Maybe she can enlighten me to Holly's whereabouts. She is a tall slender woman. Even taller Holly. She doesn't look to be much older than her either, not that Holly looks her age, at all.

"Dr Stephenson," I say quietly as I come up beside her and a smile eases onto my face just as she swings her head towards me to catch my eye.

"Officer Peck," she addresses, acknowledging my sudden presence. However, she seems somewhat distracted and she immediately reverts her attention back towards the stage. "If only you were here earlier to hold her hands still," she smiles, as she starts clapping and the words Holly Stewart ring though my ears over the speaker system. Turns out I must have selective hearing.

"Huh?" I mumble and she stops clapping for a moment to gesture up towards the stage, and I focus just in time to see Holly rise from one of many seats lined up there. I am starting to see why Holly was so tense. She doesn't seem like someone who would respond well to being the center of attention.

I lean in to Kate's shoulder, "What's going on? She didn't tell me anything," I yell over the loudness of everyone clapping.

Kate edges towards me. "Your girl here just won us a hell of a lot of grant money. One of the biggest payouts we've seen for forensics research in Canada and they chose to present it here," she yells back as I watch Holly start to shake hands with a long line of people onstage, some of whom seem to be quite forceful in pulling her into conversation, and by the look on her face, she wants out of there badly.

"So this is kind of a big deal then?" I ask, even though I already know the answer and my body sinks in disappointment. Holly, _my girlfriend,_ didn't bother to tell me. Maybe we don't share things after all. _Maybe you never ask_.

A hand briefly finds it's way onto the top of my shoulder, "Hey, honey, don't take it personally," she says registering a soft squeeze, my disappointment now obviously noticeable to her. "I didn't even know she had applied for it and it's my department! The outcome was only announced yesterday and she still just shrugged it off as if it were nothing," she tells me shaking her head. I'm thinking perhaps she has experienced this kind of thing before with Holly. Still, this information does not make me feel any less shit. Why didn't Holly just pull me back to the ballroom with her? Did she think I was going to tease or not be supportive? I care. _I do_. "I know you guys have only known each other a short time. She has talked about you incessantly over the past seven weeks by the way, but I have found in working with her this past year that she can be very secretive about her work, especially her research. It's understandable really under the circumstances," she reveals and again, I really _really_ have no idea what she is talking about. It's embarrassing that I know so little about Holly and her work. "She literally has to be forced into submission before she publishes something, it's like pulling teeth with that woman," she chuffs, which leads me to believe Holly might be some kind of serial avoider. "But she is the best we have, and I am never letting her leave," Kate laughs.

I observe Holly as she is pulled into a very long double handshake before being handed something in an envelope. "Hey, that guy that just shook her hand looks kind of familiar," I wonder as the man gets curiously closer to her.

Kate chuckles giving me a knowing look. "That would be the outgoing Mayor of New York."

My eyes widen. "You are shitting me?" I exclaim, before realising I just cursed in front of Holly's boss, an almost stranger. What did I say about first impressions? She must already think I'm an asshole for making Holly pretend with my mother. "Sorry, he just caught me by surprise is all," I apologise with heat exponentially rising from my cheeks and I mentally slap myself on the back of the head, Gibbs style. _No one should ever take you out in public_.

"I shit you not," she laughs, easing the tension for which I am thankful. I kind of like this woman. Perhaps pathologists are my type of people.

"Is she going to make a speech or something?" I gulp. The heat from my face spreads through my entire body just at the thought of someone I know having to make a speech. I start to sweat, even though I am not the one up there on stage.

"Time will only tell. She is actually quite the excellent public speaker when she wants to be, though I don't think she looks that thrilled to be up there right now," she claims and I'd have to agree. Holly is all kinds of awkward right now. We watch on as she is urged to move up to the podium, but she just smiles graciously and waves them away, dismissing them as she retreats to the back of the stage.

"Where have you been hiding her," I hear from a voice in my opposite ear, and my heart jumps out of my chest at the sudden contact of a hand on my lower back. I turn quickly to see my mother standing beside me.

"Oh, hi mum," I greet with fake enthusiasm. I lean in and kiss her on the cheek as her hand moves from my back to my opposite shoulder, pulling me even closer into her side. _Ugh, clingy much?_

"So where have you been hiding her?" she repeats in that accusatory tone that I hear so often, and she gives me a little shake to try and yield the information from me. _Well hi to you too_. From the corner of my eye I watch her gaze move from the stage up to focus on my hair, and she reaches out to either fix it or brush it behind my ear.

"Hiding who?" I stupidly ask as I move my head away and field off her hands with a swipe from my own, much to her annoyance. I can't help but smirk at her reaction.

"Don't play dumb, sweetheart, it's not cute. You know who I am talking about," she accosts, the agitation in her tone getting heavier with every syllable she speaks and I quickly turn back to face the stage to avoid her reading my facial expression.

"Um, I," I stammer, worried that my insides are about to be splattered all over the ballroom dance floor.

"Use your words," she demands. Those words that are usually used as encouragement are now laced with ridicule.

"Well, I," is all I manage to get out before she sighs very loudly at my incompetency to deliver a full sentence.

"You have inflicted those silly boys on us numerous times now at our family dinners, yet you've been holding out on us all this time?" she begrudgingly says as she tries to turn me by the shoulder to face her, but fails.

"Um, those guys were hungry?" I slyly remark, feigning ignorance as her fingers dig into my shoulder. It's funny. It actually feels nice. I needed a massage. Maybe I should say more stupid things. _You don't even have to try._

Holly makes her way off stage looking like quite the celebrity. She is being pulled every which way as the camera flashes go off at her from every direction. In between handshakes she rubs her eyes from the high exposure light intermittently flashing in her face. She breaks free of her fans and makes a beeline straight for us. "Finally a sensible friend I can get on board with, and a quite accomplished one at that," my mother says and I can't help but catch the beaming look plastered across her face as she watches Holly approach us. _This is just wrong._

"I didn't realise all my relationships were up for review," I mumble, intent on her not listening to me, but she is like a dog, and not just any dog, a poodle, with wicked hearing abilities.

"They're not sweetheart, but maybe they should be," she counters back and my lips instantly part in hopes of stringing a few understandable words together, however my face freezes just as someone taps my mother on the shoulder, pulling her attention away from me.

"Did you see him?" I hear Holly exclaim, forcing me to turn around. "Nice face" she chuckles as she lifts my bottom jaw up from under my chin to close my mouth. As she retreats I take her hand and pull her in closer to give her a kiss on the cheek, "Congratulations, you sneaky nerd."

"Yes, you are now officially my favourite worker bee," Kate says giving her a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"I thought I was always your favourite," Holly sweetly implies.

"Of-ficial-ly," Kate enunciates and Holly just scoffs in reply.

I'm thinking Sergeant Best should take a leaf out of Kate's book. As nice a guy that he is, I sometimes wish he didn't have such a stick up his ass. It couldn't hurt him to you know, lighten up a little? _This? Coming from you?_

Holly takes a tentative step towards both of us, emoting a cheeky grin, "so did you see him? What he did?"

"See what?" Kate asks as I take the envelope from Holly's grip and hold it up to her, assuming this is what she is talking about.

"Bloomberg! He was totally looking at my..." she trails off "chest," she adds ever so quietly. That's not what I expecting to come out of her mouth. "Oh, Superintendent, I didn't see you there," Holly blushes.

I feel my mothers arm wrap around my waist and I wonder why she so clingy all of sudden. _Maybe she is drunk?_ "Dr Stewart, what were you about to say about Mayor Bloomberg?" she asks curiously. Holly lines of worry are now at their peak as I see the panic instantaneously set into her brows. I can't help but find it amusing and kind of adorable. "Oh and why didn't we hear a speech from you, dear?" she asks, her tone a little too severe for my liking. "We could have used some good sound bites and quotes for the news back home." _Okay, that isn't funny_. My mother stares intently at Holly, unwavering in her gaze as she waits for her to respond.

"Elaine! Please!" I exclaim, surprising myself at my sudden outburst that I plan on continuing. "Give Dr Stewart a break! You do realise what she just accomplished, right? This doesn't need to turn into one of your media frenzies, nor does she want it too. Were you not just watching?" I say throwing my hand in Holly's direction. "She was obviously incredibly uncomfortable up there in the first place."

"Life is uncomfortable, sweetheart, doesn't mean we shouldn't embrace it," she says, the words rolling off her tongue like she is some TV guru and she casually takes a sip of wine from the glass that just magically appeared in her hand. _I knew she was a witch_. I look at Holly and I subtly throw my hands in the air while rolling my eyes back and both Kate and I swipe a glass of bubbly from a waiter walking past. _I give up!_

I find Holly smiling passionately my way as I take a gulp. It's that same type of smile she gives me when she thinks I have said something sickly sweet to her. _Ugh, I hate those ones the most._ She starts to smirk as I watch her gaze shift over to my mother who is casually looking around the ballroom. There is a glint in Holly's eye that I just can't place. "Superintendent," she says, grabbing her attention and my mother finally relinquishes the hold she had my waist. "I was just saying that the mayor was having an awfully good time up on stage looking down my dress," she states whilst her hand gestures under her rack, which I can't help but notice is on display more so than usual. Kate nearly spits out her drink while my jaw drops to the floor and Holly giggles at us in amusement. All I want to do to Holly right now is give her a high five. _Among other dirty things._

We all simultaneously turn our heads towards my mother for her reaction like we are a set of those open-mouthed carnival laughing clown heads where you drop balls down their throat as they move side to side. Perhaps mother has choked on Holly's ball. "Yes, well, he did the same to me earlier, dear," my mother alludes to our surprise.

I am immediately taken aback and I let the words sink in for a moment. "Jesus, mum! He did not!" I snort. "Are you drunk or something?"

"Pecks don't get drunk in public, sweetheart, unless they are named..." and she stops just as I know she is about to say my name. "I may however be a little inebriated," she confesses taking another sip of wine.

"Um, that's the same thing, mum!"

She quickly takes her glass away from her lips, whipping her head towards me. "Anyway, why wouldn't the mayor be looking down my dress exactly? I've still got it!"

"Oh god, please stop," I exhale, slapping my hand against my forehead while Holly and Kate proceed to laugh at this whole ridiculous situation.

"Yes, Officer Peck, why wouldn't he? Have you seen you mother tonight? She looks," Don't say hot! Don't say hot! "Beautiful," Holly faintly chuckles to herself and my brows deeply furrow as she casually winks at me.

"Thank you, Dr Stewart," my mother smiles, walking over to stand beside her. Okay, so she's switched teams now? _She was ever on your team_.

"Dr Stewart, you must be drunk too," I attest.

"Yes, I too may be a little inebriated," she laughs, as does my mother. _A little?_ "With good reason too," she stresses. _What is happening right now?_ I should be grateful that they are getting along, but for some reason this is complete and utter torture and grossly annoying.

"Wow! Up until right now I would have said you acted like one of the straightest drunks I have ever met."

"I think she means that with no pun intended, dear," my mother adds and Kate almost chokes her on drink this time, and I faintly hear her mumble something along the lines of 'I really need to stop drinking through this conversation'.

"Anyway, I didn't think anything could infiltrate that brain of yours, including alcohol," I add.

"Don't you worry, Officer, I can still rattle off the periodic table backwards. Or even in descending alphabetical order," she brags.

"Give Gail ten minutes and I am sure she could do the same. She has a fantastic memory this one," my mother boasts, and Holly raises her eyebrows, impressed and nods along.

"Thank you, and yes, it's all because of you. Congratulations, Superintendent!" I mock, shrewdly bowing. If my mother weren't drunk right now, I wouldn't be talking like this.

Before my mother even has a chance to open her mouth and retaliate, Kate interrupts, "Yes! Periodic table-off!" she cheers then hunches over in embarrassment. "Okay, so I may be a little tipsy too."

"Just a little," Holly laughs, giving Kate's arm a sympathetic pat.

"I think you all need to eat something," I suggest as I notice the waiters starting to bring meals out to the tables, but really it's me who is absolutely starving. My mother nods at me and holds her hand out, urging me to come with her.

"I think that is a wise decision, Officer," Holly smirks as I am unwillingly whisked away.

My mother sits down first at the long table in front of where her name card is. She pulls me down into the chair beside her, where I can't help but notice my own name card sitting in front of me. These aren't hand written cards either; these are custom made by a professional printer I would think. 'Officer Gail Peck' it reads, 'Toronto Police Department, Canada' is written below my name in smaller print. I pick up the card and touch the ink to see if it is wet, but it's as dry as an Aussie dam in February. I am starting to think this trip of mine was calculated far in advance, and that she left it to the last minute to ask me so I wouldn't have the time to think about it and figure out a good excuse not to come. She probably even had the nerve to switch up my work schedule so I wasn't working tomorrow.

"So, did Frankie talk to you about the deadlines for the next detective rotations? I have the paperwork at home, so I took the liberty of filling some of it out for you," she states, staring at me curiously as I fight the urge to rip my name card to shreds.

Did you now? _Nope, not happening._

* * *

"Mum, I needed something more substantial to eat than a plate of veggies," I say, as I look over at her half eaten plate of meticulously cut and presented vegetable... I don't know what the hell that is! "They could be deep-fried in batter and I still wouldn't eat them," I insist, however untrue my statement may be. Who doesn't like deep-fried battered stuff? _Probably Holly._

"But pasta, sweetheart? So many complex carbohydrates."

Her lecture is not lost on me, however I childishly lower my head down to my plate twirling the last few strands of fettuccini onto my fork, then I defiantly move it into my mouth as I close my eyes. "Mmm," I linger with the fork in my mouth, parading a shamelessly smug smile. "I can feel the fat accumulating on my ass already."

I hear her drop her fork onto her plate, startling me in the process. "Sometimes I am surprised that it was me who gave birth to you," she remarks, even though it doesn't really reflect well on her seeing as she did in a way, 'make me' who I am today. "You were such a beautiful and well behaved baby."

I roll my eyes and slump back into my chair, letting my head fall back. "And how the mighty have fallen" I sigh.

"You are still my beautiful baby," she replies and at the same time I feel her fingers graze my cheek as she moves a strand of hair behind my ear.

Surprised, I straighten back up. "Mum, what he hell is going on with you?"

"I don't know what you mean, sweetheart," she deflects, but there is a nervousness in her tone that I have never heard before. _My mother doesn't do nervous._

"Are you sick or something? Why are you almost drunk? And why are you letting all my barbs go when you should be shutting me down?"

"Pardon me, would you like dessert?" a waitress interrupts just as the conversation was about to get interesting. My mother waves her off, and then the waitress looks to me and I energetically nod my head.

"Hell yes!" _When do I not_?

"Firstly, we have a chocolate ganache filled pudding with raspberries and cream, and..."

"I'll have that."

"But there is..."

"Doesn't matter. And don't be stingy on the cream," I wink, and I regret the decision to do that immediately. Why the fuck am I winking? It Holly's fault. _Yes, let's blame Holly._ As the waitress leaves I glance over to the opposite side of the table where Holly and Kate are sitting about five seats down. Holly is moving Kate's glass of champagne away from her in what seems to be an uncontrollable fit of laughter. I am a little envious that Kate gets to experience her latest bout of elation and not me.

Now what was I saying? I turn back to my mother who pushes her food to the middle of the table. "See? You can't even eat that!" I shriek, looking at the uneaten vegetables on her plate before getting straight back to the point. "So, are you sick or something? Why am I here exactly?"

"For heavens sake, Gail, I am not sick! Can't a mother spend some time with her daughter?" _Didn't she already say this a couple of hours ago?_

"Sure, a mother can, you however..." I quickly slay an octave higher than usual and the air goes stale around us. If there ever were a deathly cold stare better than mine, it would be my mothers, and she is showing me a perfectly fine example of it right now. However, hers comes with "The Vein," as Steve and I so eloquently call it, which emerges from her temple on the right side of her face in times of unbridled resentment. "Sorry," I immediately apologise, slinking back into my chair. Even for me those words were a little harsh, however deserved they may have been.

"It's just a shopping trip, Gail," she says, first-naming me again. _Oh crap._ "I have no ulterior motive here, despite what you may think," she huffs. "Why must you always think the worst of me?" she questions as a thousand and one reasons run through my head, her eyes pained as she waits for my answer. _Shit! Did I actually just hurt my mother? Did I infiltrate that hard shell of hers?_ I open my mouth to say something. "You know what? Don't answer that. I don't need to hear it. Now sit up straight and eat your pudding," she orders, glancing over my shoulder as the same waitress from before places the bowl in front of me.

"Here you go, Officer," she smiles. "With extra cream," she winks, uncomfortably holding my gaze.

"Err, thank you?" I say, quickly averting my eyes. Geez can't a girl give another girl a wink when she is excited about pudding? _Okay, you can leave now_. "You know mum, I don't actually need a dress for that event next week. Don't you know that the officers are supposed to be in their dress uniforms?" I ask. If I had remembered this fact earlier I could have used it as another excuse not to come here. _Yeah, as if that would work!_

"Forgive me, I momentarily forgot. Does it really matter? Just let me buy you something," she forcefully insists. This has guilt written all over it. "Which reminds me, I have new dress uniforms for both you and Steven. I need you to come over and try them on." _Super_.

"Fine," I moan as I pick up my dessertspoon.

"Fine to what, sweetheart."

I close my eyes and take a breath as my patience wears thin. "Fine to you buying me a dress and to me coming over to try on the uniform," I huff.

"Good then," she says before she is brought into the conversation happening on the other side of her, finally leaving me with a moment to myself.

I cut into my pudding and watch the gooey centre ooze out. I take a spoonful of cream and hold it in front of my mouth to study it. Perhaps I can play a game of my own. I set my sights on Holly and I wait to catch her attention. Eventually her eyes find mine. Warmly smiling, she rests her chin on her hand as her elbow cements itself onto the table. I move the spoon to my mouth and seductively suck the cream off it, and then I remove it from my mouth only to softly lick it again. Smirking, she subtly shakes her head at me. "You look hot in that dress," I silently mouth to her. She obviously can't read lips. I mean why would she? Her hand comes out from under her chin. "What?" she mouths before going back to her previous position. I drop my spoon and apply a smug grin to my face. "I said you look very nice in your dress," I sign to her just for fun, but she shoots me back the exact same grin.

"Thank you, so do you," she signs back with a wink. What the fuck? She can sign too? _Of course she can._

I shake my head at her. "You are so annoying. Can you do everything? I bet you speak other languages too."

"Only two," she smiles and as she is about to move her hands to sign something else I cut her off.

"Let me guess? One of them is K.l.i.n.g.o.n?" I sign out phonetically.

"No, actually, I was going to say G.a.l.l.i.f.r.e.y.a.n, the language used by Time Lords in Doctor Who."

"Why of course you big nerd. And what is the other?"

"I speak fluent Gail," she signs one handed, taking her bowl of pudding from the waitress, then placing it in front of herself as she looks back at me.

"You're weird," I sign and she watches as I pick up another dollop of cream on my spoon and I slowly move it towards my mouth only to drop it down the front of my dress. "Shit!" I exclaim, shifting back in my seat. Now completely frozen, I find my mother staring at me and I sheepishly grin.

"Seriously Gail, I can't take you anywhere," she moans, handing me a napkin, and we both hear Holly burst out laughing over everyone talking. Our eyes naturally follow the noise. "What did she just sign to you?" my mother asks as Holly, still convulsing, buries her head into her arms that lie across the table.

"She called me a dick head, mum."

"Rightfully so, sweetheart," she agrees, having the last word.


	35. Chapter 28 d)

The resounding noise from the crowd in one ballroom becomes muffled as I enter into the other. There are no egos, chairs or tables in sight; only a shiny grand piano situated at the back edge of the dance floor. The clicking of my heels against the polished wooden floorboards echo around the room with every step I take towards my intended target.

In what seems to have taken a lifetime, but in reality has only been just a handful of seconds, I find myself gingerly lying down atop of my perfect resting place; across the cold smooth surface of the pianos hood, but this is not first without letting fly a mixture of groans, moans and "fuck me's" in the process. My already sore muscles have become increasingly stiff over the past few hours. Not only from the plane ride here, but also from having repeatedly tensed them with every senseless word my mother uttered at me throughout dinner. So now they need their rest.

I kick my heels off and draw in a relaxing breath as I close my eyes, however, I am summarily interrupted when I hear a door creak off in the distance. _I knew she'd come_. "Hey! Officer! You're not allowed in here!" she calls out.

I knowingly smile, "Thanks, appreciate it!" I call back. She must be approaching me like a ninja, because her footsteps fall deaf on my ears. She still has much to learn though, because her moisturiser has once again given her position away. Man, how I have missed that smell. "Took you long enough," I say as her fingers run down the expanse of my arm.

"How could I not follow you after that little performance you put on earlier," she teases and I feel her lips lightly press down on top of my hand. "That cream totally owned you by the way." _Don't I know it!_

"I think the Detective sitting next me rather enjoyed the subsequent moments of that little show," I laugh.

"Yes, perhaps a little _too_ much," she emphasises squeezing my hand tightly. It's nice to know I am not the only one who gets jealous over nothing. "It did surprise me that you decided then and there to shove your hands down the front of your dress. There are things called bathrooms you know. They come with soap and everything," she jokes, now slowly tracing the tips of her fingers up and down my forearm. _Smart-ass._

A long silence envelops us as I concentrate on the restful movements of her fingers as they graze over my warm skin, taunting each hair until it prickles beneath her fingertips. I turn my head to one side, open my eyes and watch her closely as she studies my hand, like she is committing every cell to memory. This is the closest we have come in contact with one another for at least ninety minutes, and I already feel the need to be closer to her.

It was surprisingly hard to sit only meters away from her throughout dinner. I'd say it was even worse than not being able to see her at all these past three days. At least then I didn't have her just out of my reach. I am a little baffled by all of these feelings though, I don't think anyone has ever consumed my thoughts as much as she has mine, nor have I ever been so physically drawn to someone with such a longing intensity. How did this happen exactly? Maybe she has some science-y related way of explaining this too me, but that would mean having to actually ask her about it. _Feelings, gross!_

"Holly?" I ask lowering my voice an octave.

"Gail?" she mimics back with a carefree smile, but it takes her a few seconds to pull focus from our hands and across to readjust on my face.

"You should probably stop touching me," I suggest, biting my bottom lip.

Immediately obeying, she rests her hands on the edge of the piano as I watch her confusion begin to set in. She is so cute when she is like this. You can just tell she is getting angry at her brain for evoking such an emotion, like it has inconceivably failed her in some way. "You don't know what might happen," I pause rolling onto my side, wincing in pain as I prop my head up from my elbow. She cocks her head and does that adorable lets-nervously-adjust-my-glasses thing before Gail either surprises or devastates me. "If this evenings history is anything to go by, I may just involuntarily roll off this piano from the overwhelming titillation of it all," I smirk, and the corner of her mouth curls ever so slightly as she realises I have obviously not been serious. She could touch me all night long for all I care. "I could break a hip. Get stuck on desk duty," I kid some more. _A cop's better half's dream I'm guessing._

My smirk slowly fades as one of those new found moments of emotional honesty gradually swirls it's way around my heart before shooting it's way out to the tip of my tongue, busting to break free. I fixate on her fingers softly drumming against the shiny black surface; perhaps she is trying to play something for me. "I don't think you realise just how big of an effect you have on me sometimes," I admit and her eyes light up as her fingers stop drumming, "Or have had on me for that matter," I justifiably add. I don't dare look her in the eye though, even if these kinds of words are becoming more and more easier to say to her.

"You obviously haven't read my text messages have you?" she states, lightly shaking her head as she makes her way around the piano to the end closest to my head. "Or listened to my voicemail," she mutters, blushing as she takes a seat on the stool. _Oh gawd! What has she said?_

I turn over and lie on my stomach. I am painfully aware that if she looks up right now all she will see in front of her is a mountain of cleavage, so I fold my arms out in front of me and drop my chin down to rest on top of them. "No, I didn't get past your last message. What did they say?" I ask casually, as if I'm oblivious to her current state of embarrassment.

She looks up at me, breathing in what looks to be a sigh of relief. I don't know why she thinks she can be relieved though. I am totally going to read them after this little display. "Um, not much. I just asked you how your day was," she shrugs, her face now getting redder by the second. _Yeah, sure, I believe you._

"All ten of them, huh?" I question, smugly raising my eyebrows as she digs herself into a hole.

She covers her mouth with her hand and briefly chuckles before composing herself. "Basically, yeah. Nothing worth reading. You can delete that entire message string," she suggests nonchalantly, dropping her chin to her chest as she tries to conceal a shy smile. I shimmy up a little closer to the edge of the piano and I reach out in front of her with both arms and take hold of the hair flowing down either side of her face. _Ow! Squished boobs, squished boobs!_

"Holly..." I slowly draw out her name.

"What?" she looks up issuing me with a defiant pout.

"You're perty," I giggle.

"Shut up!" she laughs, bashfully swiping my hands away, letting my arms fall down the front side of the piano.

I sit up quickly and swing my legs around to the side and I slide off. She gestures for me to come sit next to her, patting the space she makes as she moves over, so I walk around and sit down next to her. "So...?" I ask as I drop my hand onto her knee.

She brushes her fingers lightly over the surface of the covered keys. "So what?"

"You gonna play for me or not?" I ask as I ghost my fingertips up the inside of her bare thigh. Slowly but surely I slide my hand up past the hem of her short dress and I begin to move my fingers around in circles, increasing the pressure as they venture higher.

She clears her throat. "Not!" she refuses as she grabs my wrist before it has a chance to travel up any further and I yield a groan in defeat. My plan to coax her has failed. _And what were you going to do there if she hadn't stopped you?_

"Fine," I spit. "I'll just have to do it for you," I surmise, opening the lid that covers the piano keys.

I get up and stand directly behind her. I lean over her, my chest incidentally pressing against her back as I lower my head down so we are cheek to cheek. With an arm over both of her shoulders, I reach down to her lap and take hold of both her index fingers. "You better not get cream in my hair," she warns, moving her head away from me so she has room to turn and look at me, and in doing so, somehow forces me to do the same.

Our lips are now only inches apart as we breath each other in. "Don't worry," I speak softly, pausing for a moment as she takes some time to stare at my lips, and I quickly turn away and clear the frog from my throat, "When you weren't looking that Detective licked it off for me," I joke, however, still very aware that she is looking fixedly at me.

"Very funny," she says as she moves in to kiss my neck, her lips grazing over my sensitive skin before she actually completes the action and I breathe out calmly. I am not going to cave in to her obvious attempt at distracting me. At least not yet. She turns her head back towards the piano, "I would have said it was that waitress you were flirting with," she mischievously smiles.

I move my mouth up to her ear, where I purposefully brush my lip across her earlobe. "She was between me and my dessert," I breathily whisper, causing her to shiver.

"Oh, that's totally okay then," she scoffs. "So what are we playing?" she asks, quickly changing the subject.

"The only thing I know how to play, Chopsticks," I answer as I hover our hands over the keys, but I have completely forgotten where to start the song from. _Memory fail!_

"You want to start with E and F," she giggles after a considerable amount of seconds pass.

I roll my eyes, "and where the hell is E and F?" I ask, "because that information does not really help me in the slightest."

"Here," she's advises, switching the positions of our hands so she is the one in control. She begins pressing my fingers down slowly against the keys, gradually increasing our speed with every note we hit until I can't see my fingers moving. _Okay, slight exaggeration._ She let's go of my fingers and I watch her do a mind blowing run up and down the keys before finishing with a flourish.

"Shit!" She is better than good.

"Thanks, I think?" she laughs as she stands up, forcing me backwards.

She follows me as I begin to walk around to where my heels had fallen to the floor, helping me balance as I step into them. I reach for her hand and start leading her across the ballroom. "C'mon Nerd, let's go. And before you ask, we are going swimming. And no, I am not skinny dipping with you."

She pulls back slightly, "Gail, I don't have a swimsuit and the pool is probably closed by now," she reasons, but when has that ever stopped me.

"Don't you have some underwear or shorts or a tank top you can wear?" I ask as we stop in front of the main exit. "And plus I don't care. I have a lock picking set in my purse. Which reminds me, my mother has my purse, which also has my room key in it and we need to change."

"Why do I get the feeling you are not joking about the lock picking set," she laughs and I cheekily grin at her. "I'll meet you in the lobby, okay? Near the elevator," she says.

"What about Kate? Do you need to tell her you're leaving?" I ask as she takes a step closer to me.

"She has already gone to bed," she informs me, leaning in to chastely kiss me on the lips goodbye. I plan on kissing her hello in a minute.

* * *

Barefoot, I step into the elevator behind her, stopping in front of the sliding doors as she continues over to the far wall. She takes hold the railing behind her as we look at each other in silence, a smile peaking through every few seconds from both of us until the door finally closes behind me. "You going to press the button to our floor there champ or just stare at me all night?" she quips. I would like to wipe that knowing look off her face, but instead I choose to ignore her smug ass. I hit the button to the tenth floor with the pointy end of one of my heels and we start travelling upwards. I glance into the mirror covering the wall behind her. My hair is a complete mess, for which surprisingly my mother did not even make a comment about. Instead she had just stroked it weirdly, which totally freaked me out, just like a lot of other things she said and did this evening. I wonder if she will keep this up tomorrow? Maybe I should order her a few mimosas for breakfast tomorrow or something.

"So that whole sucking the cream off your spoon thing you were doing before," Holly recalls pulling me from my thoughts, "It was obviously for my benefit. Was that payback for earlier?" she asks pushing her glasses from her nose to the top of her head while she coyly licks her lips.

"Your payback?" I laugh, remembering what an idiot I was. "As if!" I exclaim. "The point of that little exercise was to make _you_ embarrassed. Not for me to embarrass myself."

"Oh, don't you worry, I was very embarrassed," she assures me, "I was just embarrassed _for_ you," she slyly remarks and that smug grin makes its way back onto her face. _That's_ _it! She and it are gone!_

Out the corner of my eye I see the button light up for level nine and it dims as the level passes, leaving me with about fourteen seconds until the door opens for level ten. In a split second I drop my purse and heels onto the elevator floor and with two hurried steps I force her hard and back even further into the wall with my body than she was already. Grabbing the arm she was about to defend herself with, I pin it up against the glass behind her. There is no time to look for a reaction as my lips are pulled to her neck like a magnet while my right hand rides up the side of her thigh, pulling her dress up with it. My hand finds it's way to her ass and then around to her lower back as I pull myself even closer into her. The intensity of every kiss, suck, lick and nibble I inflict on her neck immediately causes a myriad of intoxicating noises from her mouth, "Gail, door" she manages to remind me, gasping breathlessly into my neck, and without thinking, I let go of her wrist above us and I move my palm up and over her breast, turning my hand sideways as I slide it under the material of both her dress and bra. I know I am supposed to be rendering her incapable of doing anything in these following moments, however I can feel my legs starting to wain beneath me as my fingers carefully knead the warm skin of her supple breast. This has to be the longest 14 seconds of my life.

_Bing!_

The sound from the door wakes me from my current Holly infused haze and I push myself off her body, and her nipple slides through my fingers as my hand falls off her chest. I casually and speedily fix the front and back of her dress and then pick up my purse and heels as the doors begin to open and I back out into the hallway. I watch Holly stand there stupefied with both hands now frozen to the railing behind her.

"That was your payback," I devilishly smirk as the doors to the elevator start to close with her inside it. "Later, Nerd," I wave, just as her glasses fall from her hair to the bridge of her nose. Yep, my work here is done.


	36. Chapter 28 e)

With my fingers still buzzing from my Holly induced high, I slowly venture down the hallway to my room, every so often stopping to lean against the wall as I replay the moment over in my head. I feel like I am inside that revolving door again, and the memory is trapped inside with me, only this time I don't want to get off, I want to get her off instead. I hear the elevator ding off in the distance which causes me to freeze on the spot, and it's not until she gently squeezes my shoulder and her warmth permeates through my skin that I realise I have been holding my breath.

"Hey," she softly greets me as I expel the air from my lungs, only it takes me a few painstaking seconds to build up the courage to look her in the eye and somehow provide her with a response. There is a tenderness in her expression that immediately calms me, but even more so when she curls the corners of her mouth eventuating into what can only be described as beautiful. Now I find myself fighting the urge to tell her so. Why is she forcing me to say all these words? It is rather annoying that she can pull this stuff out of me so easily. "Are you ok?" she asks, quizzically studying my face as her hand moves up to caress my cheek.

I lean into her palm as her thumb brushes gently across my bottom lip. I bring her hand around to my lips and kiss her fingers. "I'm perfect."

"Meh, I guess," she shrugs her shoulders and a blushing smile creeps it's way onto her face. Unblinking, her eyes follow our hands as they fall down between us and there is an urgency in the way that she intertwines our fingers together.

As we walk hand in hand down the hallway she reaches down the top left side of her dress and pulls her phone out from the inside her bra as we approach my hotel room door. "What?" she smirks as I lean back against my door grinning widely.

"I am just glad I grabbed your other boob, otherwise I would have hand a handful of phone and that shit would have been embarrassing!" I self-consciously laugh.

"Hmmph," she breathes out. "Well played, Officer. Very well played indeed," she concedes nodding her head decisively. She removes the cover from her iPhone and takes out her room key from behind it, "So are we still going for that swim?" she asks before clicking the cover back into place.

"Yes!" I exasperate. "I need to be weightless for a while."

She thoughtfully taps her key card against her chin. "If you want, I took a three week course in Thai massage years ago, so I could always rub you down later."

"Ha!" I exclaim. "The things you will say just to get your hands on me," I shake my head.

"No. I am just not very good at seeing people hurting," she insists. "All that wincing you have been doing tonight has been driving me crazy! The getting to touch your body part has absolutely nothing to do with it whatsoever," she winks. "You know..." she playfully draws out as she takes a step closer to me, "these hands and fingers of mine are pretty talented," she assures me as she cheekily twinkles her fingers right in front of my face. "And expensive," she continues. "Though I am sure we could figure out some sort of arrangement."

"Righto," I say in an attempt to sound casual when in actual fact the thought of her rubbing me down is a little too exciting to admit. "Steady on nerd, let's see how the swimming goes first, shall we?" I smirk. "Which room are you in?" I ask as I swipe my key card.

"It's the next one down. I think the organisers must have bulk booked the rooms or something," she clarifies as she unzips the back of my dress and I quickly look over my shoulder as the door opens. "Your welcome," she calls out, before disappearing into her room.

As I step through the door I see my suitcase and coat on the end of the bed. Thebed. _One bed._ _Oh hell, no!_ This _so_ isn't going to happen! I haven't slept in my mothers bed since I was thirteen, and that was only because a tree had smashed through my bedroom window during a blizzard and she see didn't seem to want to let go of me for the next twenty hours, which was a strange event in itself.

In an instant I am over at the small desk where the room service menus are and I drop my purse down on top of them. I switch on the desk lamp and begin to write my mother a note on the notepad provided. A note that I am particularly happy to be writing because I have been trying to think up the perfect excuse as to how I could spend the night with Holly without raising any suspicion from my mother. This, I think, is as good as it is going to get.

_Dearest Mother,_

_I love you, but not as much as I love sleeping in a bed of my own. I am staying with Holly who has a twin room._

_Message me a time to meet for breakfast._

_Love your dutiful daughter,_

_Officer Gail Peck._

I leave my key on the desk and I pick up my purse and coat and I drag my suitcase down the hallway to Holly's room. I knock on her door and a few seconds later she opens it only slightly, so she can pop her head through the gap. "Oh, it's you," she cheekily smiles. _Who the fuck else would it be?_ "I thought it was my other girlfriend," she jokes and I take a moment to scowl at her as she takes the time herself to laugh at her own joke. _Ha! Ha!_ Very _funny!_

"Lunchbox, I'm moving in," I explain as I nudge the door open with my foot, only to find her dressed in a white see through button up shirt over a matching black sports bra and boy shorts. Is she trying to kill me? This is going to be a very long and restless night _._

"Stay right where you are, Officer!" she orders me from the other side of the elevator and I step back into the wall with my hands defensively in the air.

"Dude! I was just wanted to show you something. Chillax, would you?"

"Sorry," she laughs, "but my anxiety levels are going to go through the roof if we continue to play these games. You are seriously stressing me out! My poor adrenal glands need some rest!"

"It's just a coat, nerd. I am not going to flash you," I try and assure her but I don't think she believes me because she is minutely shaking her head at me and squinting her eyes like Clint Eastwood. "Anyway, I would be perfectly happy to stop with the games. Your not the only one who's head is about to explode."

"Okay, good!" she says elatedly _._

I quirk an eyebrow, "May, I approach you now please?" I ask.

"You may, seeing as you asked so nicely," she beams.

"So what did you want to show me?"

I walk over to her and loop my towel around her neck and I hold on tightly to the ends. "Will you wait for me?" I ask as the elevator stops for an elderly couple to get in.

"Will I wait for you?" she questions, her voice bringing my attention back from the old lady who is staring at my silly fluffy slippers. _At least they are not the ones with bunny rabbits on them._

"Yes, I could be inside an awfully long time," I disclose as I move my hands down to rest on her towel-covered hips.

"Gail, what are you on about?" she snorts.

"When I am hauled off to Jail. Will you wait for me?" I joke.

"I don't know, that depends," she contemplates, "what exactly will you be in there for?"

I take half a step back from her and carefully open one side of my coat, pulling the other side over myself to cover my body. "Champagne theft" I whisper and she looks down to see the bottle sitting deep in my inside coat pocket. The bottle I had stolen from a room service trolley when she wasn't looking. _What a terrible police officer._

I wrap my coat back around myself. "Can you keep a secret?" I ask as the door to the third to last level opens and the elderly couple step out.

"I am already an accessory to champagne theft," she huffs rolling her eyes, "so, I guess another secret can't exactly hurt. Go ahead," she urges as the doors close again.

"Well this one could in actual fact hurt you, because if you tell anyone about it, I may just have to kill you, dead," I say only half seriously. "I have something else to show you," I divulge as I open the other side of my coat and she immediately looks down into the other pocket.

"Gail, I don't see anything," she says staring back up at me, now with her curiosity piqued.

"I wanted to show you my underwear," I giggle as I open the other side of my coat so I am entirely on display.

She immediately covers her eyes in a reaction time of zero point one. "Gail!" she yells, "You are such a tease! You said you weren't going to flash me!" she complains, childishly stomping her feet.

"And I'm not!" I swear to her. "Flashing you would consist of me opening and closing my coat in a split second," I smugly educate her. "Perhaps I should have said I wanted to show you what was _on_ my underwear. I am wearing a tank top if that helps," I scoff, albeit minus a bra. "Besides you are about to go swimming with me! You are going to see it all anyway. I didn't take you for being such a prude, nerd."

She slides her hands off her face and looks down at my body in a way that can only be described as gawking. "Okay, I'm looking," she huffs red-faced.

"Look closer," I urge her. "Actually no don't do that," I laughingly backtrack. Her face doesn't need to be in my crotch when those doors open. "Putting your glasses on so you can actually see something might help," I suggest and she drops them from the top of her head to her nose and takes another gander, this time she does somewhat of a double take.

"You are a Whovian!" she exclaims.

"I'm a whova-what now?" I ask as the doors slide open and I let my coat fall back into place.

"A Doctor Who fan?" Where did you get those?" she laughs referring to my Dalek patterned blue underwear. We walk out into the hallway where we are nearly bowled over by some wet teenagers who are leaving the rooftop pool.

"Oh, I wouldn't exactly call myself a, what was it, a Whovian?" I question again as I hold open the entrance door for her and I can't help but notice on my initial scan of the place that there is no one in the pool now and I would like to keep it that way. "A very lovely wookie sold them to me at a comic convention I worked about sixth months ago. I thought you might appreciate them," I smirk as I pick up the out of order sign that is leaning against a wall nearby and I place it in front of the door to the pool entrance and then I close the door behind me.

"What are you doing?" she whispers decisively quick into my ear, scaring the living crap out of me.

"Jesus, nerd!" I exclaim and she begins to lead me poolside. "Give this Whovian a heart attack why don't you!" I laugh as we come to a stop beside some chairs that line the edge of the pool.

"You and your sexy underwear are going to get us both arrested by nights end, I just know it," she ponders, gazing out at the ever welcoming sparkling water. I catch hold of her arm and reach into one of my coat pockets. "Don't worry so much. It's not like I had to use these to break us in here," I say pulling out a small leather cloth, unraveling it to show her two silver lock picking tools.

My father had given them to me when I was eighteen and had taught me how to use them before I went off to college. He told me that I might never know when they would come in handy, and I have kept them on my person ever since. The only time I have ever used them was about six weeks ago when I had locked myself out of the apartment in a drunken stupor. It was the very same night in which Holly had kissed me in the coat check room at Noelle and Franks wedding and I had proceeded to spend the following few hours in a growing state of denial. I still don't know how I managed to unlock that door.

Holly takes them from my hand in disbelief. "I didn't want to believe It, but somehow I knew you weren't kidding about these," she shakes her head as she rolls them back up and covertly slides them back into my pocket.

She reaches inside my coat and pulls out the bottle of champagne and passes it to me before sliding her hands up and under my collar and over my shoulders to push my coat off. I kick off my slippers and put the bottle down at the edge of the pool so it is in arms reach from the water. She removes the towel from around her neck and drops both it and my coat onto the chair beside us. I remove the towel that is wrapped around her waist and throw it over the chair. She sheds her glasses placing them carefully on top of the towels as she steps out of her slip-on shoes. All that is left now is that white see through shirt. She pauses for a moment to look at me and then reaches for the top button, but my hands beat her to it.

"Let me," I say weakly as I try my hardest to fend off my nerves, but my fingers are already trembling over her buttons.

"We should do this more often," she interrupts, breaking what little concentration I had.

"What, swimming?" I ask curiously.

"No, the you undressing me part. It's oddly calming, which is kind of strange really given the past twenty minutes of utter torture," she scoffs.

"For you maybe, but my hands are shaking," I admit, though it is probably pretty obvious to her right now. "Plus, there is something weird going on with this shirt," I grumble as I finally get to the last button after having fumbled on a few.

"You are probably just not used to taking off a women's shirt."

"Oh right," I draw out, pretending to acknowledge that fact, but that's not it all. All I am trying to do is divert her attention away from how incredibly turned on I am right now, and how I can barely concentrate enough to focus my eyes. The same eyes that keep getting pulled down to her blurry firm stomach and her impeccably contoured hips. Not to mention that sexy belly button ring with the cute little skull charm on it that I had almost forgotten about.

She leaves me standing there, mouth slightly agape as she walks over to the steps of the pool. After I achingly watch her submerge, I make my way down to the deep end and pin drop into the water, hitting the bottom of the pool with my feet. The warm water feels like it's sizzling against my even warmer skin as I float to the surface on my back. I push off the edge and lightly wave my arms through the water as I travel slowly down the length of the pool. She circles me like a shark before standing up next to my floating body. She puts her hands lightly underneath my back and neck to support my body and she begins to slowly guide me around the pool.

As we enjoy the ambient noise from the streets below we continue to float around in this position for at least thirty minutes, every so often Holly piping up to mention something about Doctor Who as I continually catch her staring at my underwear. I tell her that I used to watch it as a young teenager, but I hadn't seen it in years. And now it seems I have agreed to an all night Doctor Who slumber party with her. It's not the worst thing in the world I suppose. She seems rather eager which is kind of cute. I said it would only happen on the proviso that we watch Star Wars somewhere in the middle there. Her response was to blow on my stomach and nearly drown me instead. The champagne had helped to get rid of the chlorine taste from mouth.

"Your bruise looks like it's healing," she observes as she runs her hand over my abdomen and around to the side of my waist to where I assume she is going to touch it, but she pokes it instead looking very amused with herself. She is such a weirdo. A very beautiful bruise-poking weirdo. "It has shrunk at least, and it is now a lovely faded shade of yellow with dimply green spots," she meanders. "It's kind of pretty in a way."

"You are so weird," I shake my head lightly. "But I like it."

"You know that your tank top is see through," she blurts out and my eyes instantaneously shoot open. I think about covering my chest with my hands but I know we are probably past the point of being modest, seeing as I have been lying here for at least thirty minutes with her undoubtedly staring at my chest anyway. Who am I kidding though? I have always been anything but modest about this kind of stuff anyway.

"Thank you, Detective. You are unbelievably perceptive tonight."

"Well I need to be in my line of work."

I break from my floating position and Holly sinks down into the water and I pull her towards me. She wraps her legs around my waist while she paddles her arms in order to keep her top half afloat. "Speaking of, it's _so_ amazing about that grant you won, congratulations again," I praise her, but she uncomfortably smiles at me and shrugs her shoulders like it were nothing. Just like Kate had described. I push us both over towards the pool edge until her back hits the wall. "Hey! C'mon," I say, lightly shaking her arms beneath the water, "It's such an incredible achievement. You should be proud of yourself."

"Yeah, I guess," she pouts.

"You guess?"

She pretends to perk up for a moment. "Yay me!" she exclaims rising out of the water.

"Holly, don't do that!"

"Do what Gail?" she huffs, annoyed at me as she sinks back down into the water.

"That!" I say pointing to her disgruntled face, but she continues to be insolent in her reactions. "You are acting like it means nothing to you."

She releases her legs from my waist and closes her eyes as her body sinks down and her head disappears under the water. Her stubbornness is now rearing its ugly head, that's for sure. _You are like two peas in a pod_. I am starting to understand why people find me so infuriating sometimes (well probably all the time, but for many different reasons). I hold onto the edge of the pool ledge with both hands as she emerges from the water. She takes in a deep breath as she brushes the water off her eyes with her fingers, opening them to see my face right up in her own. I see the side of her mouth curl up but she tries to mask it by biting her lip.

"Look, I don't know what's going on with you, and I am definitely not going to force you to tell me, but I can't exactly sit here and pretend like your job is not the most important thing to you in the world, and in saying that, it is something that I would like to know more about."

I wait for her brain to start to do its work. She chews on her lip, wriggles her nose, blinks a few times before finally squinting at me. "I just want to know more about you," I express as I move my body flush up against hers.

"Gail," she pauses and I concentrate in on the frown line that is slowly disappearing between her eyebrows as we bob up and down in the water _._ "You are so," she pauses again. This sentence of hers is going to take a lifetime to present itself to me, I know it.

"Annoying? Tiresome? Irritating? Difficult?" I try and help her out. "Spit it out Lunchbox, don't leave me in suspense here!" _Maybe you should be adding impatient to that list._

"Utterly devastating," she says as her muscles relax and she sinks down further into the water.

"Huh?"

"Gail, I want to share with you, I do," she assures me as her hands hold onto my face, "but it's kind of a boring long-ish story and it's been an even longer day so, if it's okay with you, could we perhaps just wait it until we get home? I just don't feel like talking about it. Especially here," she emphasises before returning her hands back under the water.

"Holly, that's fine. As I said, I am not going to force you."

She attempts to smile at me, but falls very short of her intended mark. _I thought she was a high achiever?_ I feel like I need to say something reassuring to her. "I know this is going to sound corny as hell coming from me, and you may just laugh in my face which would make things a little uncomfortable for me because I am not really used to the whole drowning people thing, and I kinda prefer my dead bodies dry and fully clothed. But, I just wanted to say to you that your work matters. That you matter, so thank you." I stare her squarely in the eye in hopes that she heard me.

She wraps her arms around the back of my neck. "Hmm. I know I have probably said this before, but I have _really_ got to step up my game in the sweetness department. You are kinda leaving me in the dust."

"Um, I don't think so! This coming from Miss "utterly devastating" girl?"

She leans into my ear, "In every way," she breathlessly whispers.

"See? Gross!" I laugh into her shoulder.

"Turn around," she sighs.

"Ooh, this sounds kinky!" I joke and she scoffs at me and forces me around anyway.

"I promised you a massage," she reminds me as her hands find there way to my shoulders and the instant pressure makes my eyes roll back in my head. I try to hold back on as many moans and expletives as I possibly can as her hands move down my back, but a few do naturally pop out.

"Truth or dare?" she asks, breaking the intermittent silence. I am quite curious to see where she intends on taking this game.

"Um, dare would mean me having to probably move from this position and away from your hands so, truth I guess?"

"When was the first time you wanted to kiss me?" she asks as her hands run up the sides of my rib cage, but she is careful not to squeeze too tightly. _Oh, so she is fishing..._ I bite my tongue as her fingers eventually graze the undersides of my breasts. _I am pretty sure I daydreamed something like this once._ "Probably about half a second after you kissed me in the coat check room at Noelle's wedding. But that soon changed after you called me insane and then proceeded to ditch me for a bottle of booze and more dancing," I explain.

"I never actually went dancing you know," she confesses as her thumbs run circles around the dimples of my lower back. "I left the bottle at the entrance, hailed a taxi, stopped by a convenience store and bought some ice cream. I then went home, grabbed a spoon and got into bed and read a manual called 'How to turn a straight girl.'" _Holly and her manuals..._

I shake my head and laugh at the thought of such a manual. Who knows, it probably does exist! "How's that working out for you?" I ask.

She kisses my shoulder. "Pretty good so far I think," she professes, but it makes me wonder if she is waiting for the other shoe to drop. _Gail, don't go there. You are doing fine._

"Truth or dare?" I ask back.

"Truth," she answers. Just as I was hoping she would.

I am just going to throw this out there. "So what happened with you and Heidi?" I ask and her hands cease to work their magic on my back.

"Did I say truth? I totally meant dare," she fake laughs and then clears her throat.

"Fine, you get one pass." _Avoider! Avoider! Avoider!_

With her dare I figure there is no point in making her do anything athletic because she would enjoy it too much. "I have a good one," I claim and I can barely contain my excitement. "Though you can't do this now. So, tomorrow when we go shopping, I dare you to take a photo with my mother,"

"Easy," she hastily interrupts.

"I'm not finished!" I burst out. "Gail-shark has to photobomb said photo," I snicker. My words hang in the air a while, however I can't remain quiet. "Telling me about Heidi doesn't really sound that bad now does it. Eh? Eh?" I tease.

"I can totally do that," she claims as she begins massaging my back again. _Nice deflection, nerd._ "It'll mean Ill have to carry her around all day in my handbag. But she has never seen New York, so, it all works out," she says a little too enthusiastically. "Truth or dare?"

Okay, avoider! "Um, truth again." I'm sure she is going to make me do laps or something and probably underwater too. She turns me by the shoulders and begins to say something when I hear the door open to the roof. "Crap! Stay there!" I order her, pushing her down into the wall. "Only one of us should go to jail for this," I chuckle as I kick off the edge of the pool and float out into the middle. This is it! I am off to jail for not letting anyone in a pool.

"I'll wait for you," she quietly echoes through her hands.

I watch a short young woman dressed in a smart black skirt and jacket with a white collared blouse walk over to the pool and stop meters away from the waters edge directly behind Holly's head. "Sorry, am I in trouble," I call out trying not to laugh.

"Excuse me?" she questions putting her hands on her hips.

"I _said_ am I in trouble for being in the pool," I repeat. I think this woman has a bit of an attitude. _It's just a stupid pool, lady!_

"I don't work here," she responds coldly.

"Oh, sorry, it's just with the get up and everything," I say, charmlessly pointing to her attire. _Eek! Nice way to speak to stranger_ _'s, dinkus!_

"Holly?" She calls out taking a few steps closer to the edge. _What the?_ I drop my eyes down to Holly who I have been trying to avoid eye contact with for the past thirty seconds so as not to give her position away, but her eyes are closed and she is banging her head lightly against the wall.

"Um, Holly, that lady wants to talk to you," I point out and she pushes off the wall and swims out to me in the middle.

"Two birds, one stone," I manage to catch her say before she reaches me. "I think you are about to get your truth and a far lot more," she says as she grabs hold of my arms. "Promise me you will stop me before I do anything stupid, okay?" she asks, and just like that she pulls me in and passionately kisses me in a way that leaves me breathless and wanting more. Her hands fall from my face to my arms before she lets go and swims back to the edge of the pool.

"Holly, what the fuck does that mean?" I call out.

She lifts herself out of the pool by her arms in one swift move, her muscles ripple everywhere as her feet land straight on the ledge. _Focus, Gail!_ She picks up a towel and her glasses and stands off in front of the well-dressed woman before backing away a considerable amount as she dries her face. "Heidi, what do you want?" she asks as she puts on her glasses and I quickly make my way over to the pool steps. _Ooh the ex! This should be interesting._

"I just wanted to say hello, I haven't seen you," Heidi replies as Holly continues to pat herself down with her towel.

"Well now you have, so bye bye then," Holly says in a cutesy yet patronising tone, dismissing her with a wave as she walks over to pick up the half empty bottle of champagne sitting by the waters edge. I pull my tank top out from my chest as I climb the pool steps, though it doesn't seem to help much because my nipples seem to have a mind of their own right now, so I just fold my arms up over my them as I walk around the edge of the pool.

Holly wanders back to where she was standing, dropping her towel back on the chair on the way. "Holly, I just want to talk to you," Heidi insists, taking a few steps closer to her, while Holly steps backwards holding her arms in the air with the bottle in hand.

"Shouldn't you be like, one hundred feet away from me right now?" Holly questions. Which can only mean one thing in my line of work. Restraining order. This can't be good.

"No, and it's fifty feet. You have to update those things you know, or they lapse?" _She's right._

"Well fuck me for being such a mindless idiot," Holly exclaims as she takes a swig from the bottle.

Heidi leans around her view of Holly and catches my eye as I very slowly start to approach them, however I make sure not to get too close. I watch Heidi bend over to the chair beside her and pick up my towel before throwing it to me. Not forcefully though, otherwise I think Holly would have probably drowned her by now if her current mood is anything to go by. I barely register a smile after I catch it. I am not sure how the etiquette goes when your girlfriend's ex-girlfriend politely throws you a towel as your girlfriend yells at said ex-girlfriend. It's all very complicated.

Holly turns around and manages to smile at me. "Take this bottle away from me," she signs one handed.

"Holly, I just wanted to say congratulations, that is all," Heidi says and Holly whips back around to her in a flash.

"I thought you _just_ said you wanted to say hello and to see me? And besides, don't you think you would be the last person I would ever want to hear congratulations from, _especially_ about this?" Holly asks, as I approach her from behind.

"Can you please stop being so ridiculous for half a second?" Heidi pleads.

"How exactly am I being ridiculous, tell me?" Holly insists as I take the bottle from her hand and stand off to the side so they are both in full view. I feel like I am watching a theatrical play right now, and I am curious to know who will be beheaded first. My money is definitely on Heidi. I am totally biased though.

"It's been almost two years, Holly! I thought you would be over this by now. Look how successful you are!" she points out. Holly staggers in her next breath. "Here we go," Holly signs to me, even though she is locked in a death stare with Heidi. "None of what I am about to say to her will even register," Holly adds. I wrap the towel around my body as I sit down on one of the deck chairs close to the edge of a roof wall.

"Yeah, and it's in no thanks to you!" Holly yells. Heidi turns to me rolling her eyes, leaving me completely mystified as to what she could possibly be thinking. Perhaps she thinks I am just some random Holly picked up, and she wants me to commiserate with her because some seemingly crazy lady is yelling at her. That's right! Holly is actually yelling! I didn't know her voice could be so loud.

"No! Hey!" Holly clicks her fingers out in front of Heidi's line of site as she tries to grab her attention again. "Don't you look at her! You look at me when I am speaking to you." Holly orders, and Heidi turns back to her shaking her head. Wow! Holly can be quite forcefully when she wants to be. I am not sure whether I ever want to be on the end of that. "Do you know how hard it has been for me to get to this point? The countless days and nights I spent at home and in the lab trying to rebuild everything you took away from me? And you did, you took everything took everything from me!" Holly's voice suddenly cracks.

"C'mon Holly, I think you are exaggerating just a little," Heidi scoffs.

Holly huffs. "You think I am exaggerating?" Holly asks as her hands move to her chest. "You ruined me! You left me heartbroken and incapable of ever being able to trust anyone! But that stuff I could live with. The worst and most inconceivable part is that you fucking stole from me! Burning my fucking kitchen down in the process! You left me fucking homeless!"

"That was totally an accident," Heidi claims as she nervously wipes her hand down the sides of her skirt.

"Totally an accident," Holly mumbles to herself. "You know you keep saying that? It's great to see you are still completely bat-shit crazy. How exactly does throwing a year and a half's worth of research into my kitchen sink and lighting it on fire constitute as an accident?" Holly asks and the air falls silent. "I am waiting!" She says impatiently.

"Hollykins..."

Holly's muscles immediately tense. "What the hell did you just call me?" Holly asks taking a meaningful step forward and I suddenly find myself on my feet and a few meters closer to them both. Holly sees me out the corner of her eye and waves me back, but I don't dare move.

"Well you should have made backups," Heidi says cavalierly brushing her hands through her hair.

"Oh right, the ones that magically disappeared and somehow found their way over to Boston University nine months later? You mean those ones?"

Heidi holds back a laugh. "You can't prove anything!" she exclaims. Wow! This woman is completely mad! Shouldn't she be in a mental institution or something, or better yet, jail?

I watch Holly's jaw clench and knuckles roll. That is never a good sign. "Remind me again why the hell I didn't get your ass thrown in Jail?" she says taking a few steps forward. I'd say this constitutes as the start of her doing something stupid, right?

I launch and take Holly by the elbow, losing my towel in the process. I get in between them both and face Holly. She doesn't look at me, her gaze is still directed straight past my head, and so I look over my shoulder at Heidi who shoots me a look of contempt. Why are you looking at me like that? I mean, apart from the butting in part.

"What? Now you have got Miss Perky Tits here to fight your own battles?" Heidi says and I feel Holly step into me wanting to get past. I put my hand under her chin and direct her face back towards mine and push her back. "Babe, look at me," I softly ask her and it takes her a few seconds to hear me, before her dark eyes find mine. "This is me stopping you, okay? She isn't worth it. This isn't you, okay?" I tell her as I brush away the tear that falls down her cheek. "This isn't you," I repeat and I feel her muscles relax as she takes a calming breath and I smile warmly at her.

"You know what? You always were a complete and utter coward, Stewart," Heidi mutters, and her words hit me like a thousand knives to the heart. I step back from Holly, who now looks like a ghost has just passed through her. Her eyes are wide, her skin is probably as pale as it can get and her body has completely frozen to the spot. I don't think she will be moving any time soon.

"But, it _is_ me," I say and turn around and take Heidi by material of her jacket and drag her over to the edge of the pool and fling her into the water. I go back to the chairs and throw Holly's shoes at her feet. "Hey, Lunchbox!" I call, "Look lively!" I tell her as I throw her towel and shirt at her and she catches them and then slips her feet into her shoes.

"You killed my phone!" Heidi yells from the water. _I think that is the least of your problems_. I pull on my slippers and pick up my coat from the chair as Holly walks over to me and hands me my towel. I fold them both over one arm and then take the hand Holly offers to me and she pulls me towards the exit. "You fucking whore! I should call the cops!" Heidi yells but we keep walking.

"You do that," I shout back. "Why don't you take that short skinny ass of yours down stairs to the ballroom full of cops and see what they have to say about it! And ask for Superintendent Peck, she will help you out!" Holly shouts as she opens the door and walks through it. I let go of her hand and stop in front of the door and hold it open. "Better yet, maybe I should just arrest you now for being such a psychotic bitch!" I add. "Fucking a-hole," I mutter to myself as I walk up to Holly waiting by the elevator. As we wait for the doors to I put my coat on as she wraps her towel around her waist. She then puts her shirt back on, but doesn't bother with the buttons.

_Ding!_

We step into the elevator and I press the button for level ten. I listen to Holly fall back into the far wall with a thud and I back up and stand next to her as the door slides shut.

"So..." I draw out. "When you said hate," I pause as I turn my head and look at her, but her eyes are squarely focused on the door, "you really meant it, hey?"

She immediately takes my hand intertwining our fingers with the same urgency that she had earlier, but this time it is like my hand is her only lifeline. Something that she never wants to let go of.

"Well, at least she said my tits were perky," I shrug and she chokes on her next breath. Her face slowly turns red as I watch the tears stream down her face. I drop my towel and instantly turn into to her, wrapping my arms tightly around her back. She doesn't return my embrace, she just drops her head into my shoulder and starts sobbing uncontrollably. She takes in some long staggered breaths as she now heavily convulses into my arms. But it's weird; I swear I can hear the distinct sounds of laughter between every sob. She gasps for air, as she becomes more and more hysterical and I feel her slip through my arms as her legs give out on her and she is suddenly on the floor rolling around on her back like she is pain, only they are painful fits of laughter. She holds onto her ribs trying to gasp for more air, but it doesn't seem to be coming to her. I feel like I should be laughing with her but I am completely stunned and I fall back against the wall with my mouth wide open. She looks up at me and seems to be calming down only she begins to point at me. "Perky tits!" she cries out before her hysterics begin again, only this time her laughter has become contagious.


	37. Chapter 28 f)

My favourite thing about staying in hotels is the way their towels feel against my freshly washed skin. Especially when they are as fluffy as this. I wrap it around my naked body as I observe sleeping Holly from inside the bathroom door. Her physically drained body has now succumbed to a day that felt like an endless roller coaster of emotional torture. I think we are both happy to get the fuck off of that ride.

Gail-shark seems to be feeling the full force of her embrace as they both lie relaxingly on one of two single beds. At least now I don't have to lie to my mother about Holly having a twin room. Something to feel less guilty about, I guess. Though, in saying that, I should probably start thinking about how I am going to broach the subject of Holly with her. She will undoubtedly bring up my love life at some point tomorrow, probably while everyone is listening so I am less likely to make a scene. But in the off chance that she doesn't, perhaps I should make the best of that opening and just go for it. Fuck the consequences. I am sick of hiding my feelings.

I turn off the bathroom light and I wander over to the large double window on the far side of the beds. I quietly pull open the long red curtains and a sea of lights welcomes me. I hear a faint knock on the door so I drop my towel on my way over to the closet and I slide into one of those fluffy white cotton robes that the hotel provides. I realise if Holly is awake right now she would have probably copped an eyeful, but luckily for me it is not very bright in here as the room is only lit by a single bedside lamp. I open the door and quietly accept the tray of coffee from the attendant and carry it back over to the window while trying to ignore the fact that there are is pair of brown eyes following me, and I don't mean Gail-sharks. _Yup, didn't think that one through did ya?_ I set down the tray on the coffee table and pour myself a cup from the percolator before hopping up onto the wide ledge of the window. With my back against the window frame and my legs stretched out in front of me across the windowsill, I look out into the cold dark night of the city that never sleeps. With both hands wrapped firmly around my cup, I bring it up to my lips, every so often blowing into hot liquid so I can watch the steam rise and create condensation across on the surface of the glass.

"What time is?" I hear her yawn, and I turn my head to see her stretch her arms out in front of her.

"I think it's just after eleven," I determine a guess. "You should go back to sleep," I tell her, but she has already risen from her bed.

"I want some coffee too," she insists as she drops Gail-shark down on her pillow. I place my cup on the windowsill and turn to slide off the ledge to make her one.

"Stay there," she urges me as she adjusts her very short, white and kind of skimpy looking nightie. I'm not complaining, but it is like someone forgot to sew on the rest of the material. I could probably wear it as a hat. I can't help but smirk into my cup of coffee.

"I could drink ten cups of this stuff and it still wouldn't make a dent. Was not very helpful during those long nights in the lab I can tell you."

I can completely sympathise with her dilemma. It does nothing for me either except for keeping my caffeine-starved headaches at bay. She pours herself a coffee and hops up onto the windowsill to sit opposite from me. She stretches her legs out across the ledge until our bare feet meet in the middle.

"You have giant hobbit feet," I blurt out and she inelegantly chokes on her first mouthful. I must say I am rather pleased with myself, because I wasn't quite expecting this reaction. I sit quietly and drink my coffee as I await her response, because god knows there will be one. She catches her breath and composes herself. Let's see what she has got for me.

"You know that hobbits are really tiny right? So my feet are basically tiny too." she states. _Nice try, Lunchbox_.

"Err, yes. But if we were talking in terms of scale here, the height to foot ratio would still mean you have giant hobbit feet. There is no way around this Frodo," I grin and she just smiles into her coffee. C'mon, I won right?

I see a light switch on behind her eyes. She has something else for me. "You know what this means don't you?" she asks.

"Please, enlighten me," I teasingly urge her.

"We can't share each others shoes," she smiles.

I open my mouth up wide and put my hand over my cheek and pretend to be shocked and saddened. "Oh no! The horror! How will I ever be able survive! Not your gumboots! Nooooooo!" I sarcastically imitate a scream and then burst out laughing.

"Here is something random for you," she states all of a sudden, interrupting my glee.

"It's not the history of the gumboot is it?" I chuckle. "Because I'd really prefer to jump out this window and impale myself on something really sharp than have to listen to that," I scoff. However, I am sure she could probably even make a gumboot sound interesting.

"Shut up!" she laughs as she nudges my feet with her own. "I was going to ask you to tell me something that you have never told anyone before."

"Okay, so you really did mean random," I comment and she nods her head at me with an expression that can only be read as 'Well duh!' "Okay, I need to ponder this for a second because I am such an open book," I joke as I look out the window and into the hustle and bustle of the traffic below. I raise my eye line a little and look at the billboards on the sides of the buildings, and I glance at something that makes me think of the most fitting story for this particular moment and location.

I clear my throat, which brings Holly out of her own immediate thoughts. "So when I was ten or eleven years old, I came to stay with my Auntie Alex, my mothers sister who lives here in New York. She still does by the way," I begin and I notice Holly settle down a bit more into the windowsill as she gives me her full attention. "I was here for about a week during the school holidays. One day we went to a matinee for the production of, um, I think it was Cats? Or maybe it was Oliver! I can't remember," I shake my head vigorously. "My mother hadn't completely reprogrammed my brain yet," I joke, however she grimaces, presumably because she knows I think it's true, a reaction I have had from her before. "Anyway, we had just gotten out of the show when my Auntie asks me if I wanted to go do something fun. So naturally, I said sure, why not? I don't get much of that at home. So we end up at an open casting call for the Broadway revival of the musical Annie. You know it?" I ask.

She leans over to the coffee table with her long arms, balancing as she places her cup down on it. "I read the comic strip Little Orphan Annie a few times when I was younger," she offers as she straightens up. Somehow I am not at all surprised by this revelation. "Saw the film too I think. Pretty sure I'd recall the songs if I heard them," she notes.

"Right? So from the ages of about five to eight I was totally obsessed with this musical, so much so my mother, actually, on my fathers urging, had to ban me from watching the movie. I was only allowed to watch it once a month."

"That sounds a bit harsh."

"Maybe, but Holly, I watched it about four times a week! I kind of see why that would have been overkill, especially when I would also run around singing and acting out the songs all over the house like I lived in the orphanage, also, pretending that my mother was the evil caretaker Miss Hannigan, didn't help either."

"Oh my god that is so adorable! Did you have a scruffy dog named Sandy too?" she asks jokingly.

"Um, no comment!" I laugh. When I said obsessed, I meant it _._ "Anyway, I have gotten completely off track," I say and I take another mouthful of my coffee.

"No, I love the cute backstory," she admits.

"Okay, so we are at the casting call and my Auntie is pushing me out on stage urging me to sing. I wasn't against the idea, because I loved to sing and it was all quite exciting being on stage with half a dozen eyes on me."

"Aww, so cute," she wiggles in her seat like she has gotten a case of the warm and fuzzies.

"Okay, okay! Yes, we have established that I am precious. Now, shoosh, will you?" I laugh. "So I start singing the lyrics," I pause for a moment to decide whether I am actually going to sing this next part out for her or not. I probably still have enough of a buzz on so I can still claim I only sing when I am drunk, "when I'm stuck with the day, that's grey and lonely. I just stick out my chin and grin and say..." I sing. "Can you guess what happened next?" I ask.

"I don't know, you forgot the words?" she suggests.

"I wish! I projectile vomited into the first row," I sheepishly smile and cower into my cup. She puts her hand over her mouth; kind of like the way I did earlier only her reaction is genuine.

"Oh no! You poor little thing," she says and I nod in agreement.

"Yes, so my Auntie and I decided we wouldn't tell anyone what happened, let alone that we went there in the first place. My mother probably would have had a fit! So yeah, never told anyone that before. Well until now obviously," I smile. "Actually I am pretty sure that's when the whole stage fright and not being able to get up and speak in public thing started."

"But you said you get up and sing in karaoke bars?"

"Get me drunk enough and I will do anything," I laugh and she raises her eyebrows at me. _Yes, really._ "Except for the public speaking thing, that is a whole other ball game. I can barely speak in full sentences when I am sober," I scoff. I hop off the ledge and put my cup down on the table and go and snatch my purse from the desk.

"I think you are doing pretty well with this whole speaking in full sentences game, at least with me anyway," she points out as I gingerly jump back up on the windowsill again and I open my purse and pull out the envelope Bloomberg had given her that I accidentally stole before dinner.

"Here," I say as I hold it out to her. "I didn't have a chance to give this back to you before my mother dragged me away at dinner," I explain and she takes it from me and smiles. "What is it?" I ask.

"Probably an all expenses paid holiday to Tahiti or something like that," she shrugs.

"You're kidding?"

"Funnily enough I am not," she laughs, "I mean, it usually depends on which hotels hold the conferences and whether or not they sponsor these things," she continues as she opens the envelope.

"I'm guessing you have probably received stuff like this before?"

"I have but I have never used them," she reveals, and I stop myself from asking why seeing as it's pretty obvious to me given the past few hours.

She drops the envelope in her lap and smiles at me when sees my calculated expression. "Oh, it's not for the reason you think," she assures me. "When I first became a forensic pathologist, I had noticed how my colleagues were all so caught up in their work and various research that a lot of them didn't really have time for days off or vacations. It's not that they don't want or need them, it just sort of turns out that way, you know?" Sure, sure, work, life, got it. "So I thought this would obviously be the same throughout all the other forensics departments across Canada. So it kind of became this thing that I took upon myself, where by now if anybody wins an award and receives some kind of gift like I just got, and they don't need it or plan on using it, they send it to me and every four months or so I auction them off for charity," she smiles and my heart melts just a little bit. "So now I have not only doctors, but people from across all emergency services throughout Canada sending me stuff. It has grown into this pretty big thing over the past few years. It's kind of amazing really," she expresses in a daze, however, I don't know how to respond because of the complete state of awe I am in right now.

Her eyes narrow and she pouts her lips. "And now you are staring at me strangely," she points out, and I try and shake myself out of it.

"Sorry, I just," I stop to find the words, "I was going to say how surprised I was at your generosity, but really I am not surprised at all that you would do that. I don't know… I am kind of running out of nice things to say to you because I have already said them. You are just full of surprises Holly Stewart." She begins to blush but I can't _not_ stare at her. Her pull is too hypnotic. "So what did you get in that envelope that you will never use?" I ask before she completely overheats or worse, bursts into flames.

She leans over and holds the envelope out to me. "You tell me, I didn't look," she says as I take it from her hand.

I open it up and smirk at its contents before sliding it back inside the envelope. "Oh pfft! Who wants to spend two weeks on a beach in Brazil anyway," I shrug and I fling the envelope into the air and she starts laughing at me, luckily not hysterically like earlier. "So is it just one charity that benefits or do you change it up?" I ask and as her laughing gradually dies down.

"It changes every four months and I am usually the one who chooses which charity, thoughsometimes I let others choose if they feel strongly about something," she says with the slight remnants of a chuckle.

"Nice!" I nod and she nods back and it almost feels like we are taking a walk through Awkwardtown.

"Would you choose the next charity for me?" she asks.

"Um, okay," I stammer.

"Have a think about it, okay?" she urges me as she hops off the windowsill and walks over to the bathroom. "Choose something that is important to you because I am pretty sure I can get a decent amount of money for that trip!" she quips as she closes the door behind her.

I hop down too and walk over to my suitcase, throwing my purse onto my bed. I grab a fresh pair of underwear and an old V-neck t-shirt to sleep in I and remove my robe and change into them before sitting down on the edge of the bed. I lie back with my head towards the foot of the bed and I put my feet up against the wall.

I hear Holly come out of the bathroom as I pick up my purse and take out my phone so I can check to see if my mother has messaged me a time for breakfast tomorrow.

"Gail, are you going to check your messages?" Holly asks, which brings my thoughts back to the abundance of messages she had sent earlier that I never got a chance to read.

"That's right, nerd," I smirk.

"Gail, can you give me your phone, please?" she asks and I turn my head sideways and she is sitting on the edge of her bed holding her hand out to me, looking quite concerned about it all.

"You really don't want me to read these do you?" I ask attentively and she fearfully shakes her head. "Why, how bad are they?"

"They aren't bad, Gail, it's just, I was a bit drunk. We had started drinking at like five o'clock in the after noon and then I had a wee bit of a meltdown somewhere between then and you arriving. They don't really matter anymore. I mean I guess if you wanted you could, but" she strains and I hold the phone out to her.

"Okay," I say, though she very tentatively takes it from me. She seems quite surprised that I gave it up so easily. "I have done the whole drunken message thing before, I get it, it's not a great feeling," I commiserate.

"Thank you," she says, as she lies down on her back in the same direction as I am and starts deleting the messages. I watch her smile and shake her head. "Some of these are quite amusing," she laughs, but then she starts frowning a second later. Five seconds after that she is back to smiling again and then back to frowning again and now she is laughing. Man, what the hell did she write?

She stops her latest bout of laughter. "Um, Gail?" she says as she turns onto her side, propping herself up by the elbow. "Sorry, but I just accidentally read a text message from Traci," she smirks as she hands my phone back to me. I immediately look at it and then proceed to smack my hand onto my forehead before covering my eyes with one hand.

_**Traci 9:45pm** _

_**Pulled yet? :D** _

"Oh gawd," I draw out as I drop my phone and purse over my head and down into my suitcase on the floor behind me. Thank you for embarrassing me, Traci! She is a dead woman! I suddenly hear Holly jump up from her bed, startling me. "Holly, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like? You are too far away from me. You can't exactly pull from that distance can you," she laughs as she lies down on her side next to me and I wiggle over as best I can to make more room for her. I am not sure this bed is big enough for both of us.

"You know you are probably still drunk, right?"

"Yes..." she says in a deep voice.

"I would be taking advantage," I coyly laugh. "Plus you do realise my mother is next door, right?" I question.

"Yes..." she says in an even deeper voice. "And these walls are pretty thin too," she adds as she crawls her fingers up my arm.

"Right, so I am not really sure I want her to hear me screaming your name," I state.

Her fingers stop moving and she clears her throat. "I see. I didn't realise I would be dealing with a screamer," she chuckles as she slides her hand on top of mine which is resting on the center my chest. "Hey! Why exactly is it you that gets to be screaming my name? Seems a little unfair if you ask me," she huffs.

"Um, probably because I am lying like a vegetable and can barely move my limbs right now."

She flings herself onto her back and sighs. "I am so completely wiped," she sighs again and we both stare at the ceiling in silence for a while before she suddenly chuckles. "Actually it's probably a good thing anyway, I am so sick of hearing my own voice."

"Yeah, me too," I laugh.

"Hey! Watch it!" she elbows me in the arm. "Or I won't let you have your way with me when we get home."

I turn over and lie down directly on top of her and I softly nestle my face into her chest, directly over her heart. "I am afraid this is about the best I can do at the moment," I tell her as I slowly slide my hand up and under her nightie, letting it come to rest over her breast. She wraps her arms firmly around my back as I try and concentrate on her heart slowly beating and not the dull aching between my legs. _How can her heart be beating so slowly?_

"What about Gail-shark?" she whispers.

"It's either her or me. Choose wisely," I mumble into her chest.

"Hmmph" she exhales. "At least she gave me a kiss goodnight," she whines.

* * *

As the sun begins to rise, warm coloured rays of soft light peak around each building and stream in through the window allowing me to see the glittering dust particles that hover above us. I gently remove Holly's arm from across my waist and extract myself carefully from the bed so as not to disturb her peaceful slumber. I walk over to the coffee table and pick up my glass of water and take a sip as I step closer towards the window and I stare down the ten floors and watch all the people running around probably trying to find some coffee. Mmm coffee. _And bacon_.

I hear the rustling of the bed sheets and I turn around just in time to see Gail-shark fly through the air and across the room as Holly begins to reposition her sleeping position. Turning onto to her side, she brings her knees up while her arms tuck themselves comfortably underneath her head. I leave my glass on the windowsill and tip toe over to my suitcase to go in search of my camera. The morning sun and an oblivious subject could make for a perfect photo. I sit down on the floor next to my suitcase and begin to wind up the film that is already inside the camera. I wonder what the hell is on it? I thought my last roll of film was currently hanging on my bedroom wall.

I quietly replace the old film with the new black and white roll I had bought at the airport. I stand up and rotate the shutter speed dial and set the aperture ring to the appropriate settings and then I double check the light and readjust the settings again after looking though the viewfinder. I think I am good to go.

I stand over the end of the bed where my suitcase is and focus in on the white nightie clad body lying in front of me and I click the shutter button. "Fuck!" I totally forgot how loud these things are compared to digital cameras. She stretches an arm out unknowingly towards me and I drop the camera down on top of clothes that sit inside the open suitcase below me and I flick the lid shut.

A smile washes over her face as she begins to open her eyes and she rolls over onto her back and looks up at me hovering over her. "Why do you look like you were just caught with your pants down?" she asks curiously, and I then find myself looking down at my legs to check if I am in actual fact wearing any pants.

"Um, I am not wearing any pants," I tell her, and she mischievously grins at me as she hastily reaches for the hem of my t-shirt. She pulls me down towards her and I do a one-eighty as I crawl over her body and onto the bed. I lower myself down on top of her, resting my elbows on the bed either side of her head so I can brush the hair out of her eyes. "Morning," I smile only inches away from her face. I lean in and hover over her slightly open mouth until her hands find their way around to the sides of my face and she pulls me into her lips for a slow and gentle kiss.

"Morning," she grins, releasing her hold on my face. She stretches her arms out sideways before bringing me down into a bear hug. "Do you hear that noise?" she asks as she brushes her hands through my hair and I softly moan at the welcoming contact. "Is it the door?" she asks.

"No, it's not the door," I smirk into her chest.

"Then what the hell is it?" she exclaims and I rattle against her chest with my laughter.

I lift my head up to look at her, resting my chin against her sternum as I cross my arms along her chest. "Yeah, that would be my personal alarm clock, knocking on the wall trying to wake me up for breakfast," I hesitantly grin in embarrassment.

"I am surrounded by crazy people," she mutters, folding her arms up over her face so as to cover her eyes.


	38. Chapter 28 g)

I catch their reflection in the store window and it leaves me with an unnerving sense of apprehension; invisible to the human eye but no less felt, simmering within the depth of my stomach. I try to concentrate on the red boots behind the glass directly in front of me while Kate mumbles something about leather and it's, I want to say thermostatic properties? But my brow furrowed gaze keeps being drawn back to the unruly sight of my mother and Holly standing on the sidewalk caught up in what can only be described as a very deep conversation. I focus in on Holly's hands gesturing wildly towards my mother, her expression becoming increasingly animated with every word spoken. _What on earth are they saying to each other?_ With a hand on her chest, Holly takes a deep breathe in, a fairly common occurrence when she finds herself to be talking so much. You'd think with her bottomless lung capacity that this wouldn't be an issue, but somehow it is.

And just like that she is able to put a smile on my face.

You can tell she is saying something important. _Or at least she thinks she is_. She does have the propensity to ramble on about all the small things in such intricate detail that it can render her audience speechless. A trait I found compelling for all of ten seconds before it became incredibly annoying, then endearing, now I just find it sexy as hell. But that is only because I completely zone out and become hypnotised by her lips and the deep sound that buzzes over them. If not her lips it's how her tongue lightly brushes over her bottom lip when they become dry or the way she occasionally nibbles at the inside corner of her mouth when she pauses to take a beat, so small, yet I suspect only noticeable by me. One of these days she is going to realise I am not even listening to her, so perhaps I should learn to read lips. At least then I would have a sufficient comeback for when she throws the inevitable "you weren't even listening to me" accusation at me. _You just know it's going to happen!_

I suppose there is the minute possibility she is telling my mother about her favourite pair of rainbow socks, which have a special place in the back of her sock drawer, not to mention in her heart. Then again, I doubt my mother would be so invested in such a story. This particular level of concentration on my mothers face can't really be mistaken for a conversation about much else, except for maybe my hair and her growing disappointment in me, but that is only because Holly is my friend, my confidant, therefore someone my mother can wrap around her little finger and use against me. _Perhaps it's time for a haircut. She'd just love that! Do it!_ Nope, I am pretty sure they can only be talking about one thing, the thing they both live for and strive for excellence in; their all-encompassing day jobs.

Holly's hands really do have a mind of their own though, strong, yet soft and built with special magical powers that can make my mother listen, because my mother does in fact seem completely mesmerised by her right now. They are also the other reason why I usually let her prattle on for so long; the sight of them flailing about in front of her, supporting every word she says, it always brings me back to the day we first met.

I remember it vividly. Only minutes after I had left her at the morgue she had messaged me and we had continued our verbal slinging match, something we had gradually became more comfortable in doing over the course of the day (I did test the boundaries quite a bit with my insults but she didn't bat an eye and actually seemed to enjoy them, so I continued.) So thirty minutes later she met me down at the police station and we walked the streets of Toronto in search for my best friend, food. She wanted Thai. I wanted donuts. Naturally a healthy argument had followed, but to my surprise I didn't even come close to winning. Well, neither did she in this instance but I could tell from that moment on it was going to be an uphill battle if I was ever going to win anything when pitted against her. I can kick her ass at chess though, so at least I have that going for me. Although someday soon I bet am going to find a book about chess in one of her wall length bookshelves, that's if she doesn't own one already. I seriously wouldn't put it past her.

So as we were approaching our decided destination she had been talking about old fossils or something and had gone off in some weird tangent, which of course I couldn't really understand or even want to follow. I think I had taken in so much information from her that day (it turns out I did need to brush up on my medical jurisprudence) that there was not a lot more room left in my brain for anything else. It seemed all I was able to do at that point was concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. She became so enthralled by what she was saying that her hands were flying about everywhere, and then it happened. In all of her excitement she whacked me, right in the boobs. Deflecting off one and onto the other.

After our initial shock and to her incredible embarrassment (which was awesome by the way) we started laughing and if I recall correctly, we did not stop doing so for the rest of the night. We ended up in some seedy bar (which was amusing in itself) where we ate some rather questionable fries. Who knew potato could make you feel sick? Well, Holly did, and she shared all the scientific facts as to why. I also think I may have told her she would have to buy me a few drinks first before attempting to cop another feel. Now that I think about it, she was pretty quick in ordering our drinks. Actually, she downed that Jack and Coke almost as soon as the glass had hit the bar.

It was that evening when I first felt that spark ignite between us. However dull it may have been and whatever unknown direction it was choosing to fly in, I did know one thing for sure, that I had found a kindred spirit.

My smile fades as their proximity to each other closes and my mother's hand reaches for Holly's shoulder. My mother is touching Holly! And it's not in that 'let me pat you like a dog' kind of way. No, it's like touching, touching! _My Holly!_ She holds on firmly at first before slowly releasing her grip, letting her hand fall down to Holly's forearm.

And within a blink I hear it.

That familiar sound that has made my stomach flip each and every time since my drunken night at Noelle's wedding. Holly is laughing. She is laughing with her entire body. All of her extremities are shaking except for the arm that is now tangled up around my mothers for support. _At least she isn't rolling around on the ground crying, could you imagine Elaine's reaction?_ She slaps her free hand on her thigh and bends over in pain, only it's the good kind and my mother follows suit. That's right! My mother is laughing too! Since when did my mother actually laugh? And I am not talking about those fake annoying polite ones with sickly sweet overtones (she usually playfully covers her mouth for those) that I so often have to endure; this is as real as I have ever seen it. She is joyous even. Holly is making her happy. _My Holly!_ What the hell is Holly doing to my mother? I mean; I can't even make my mother genuinely smile let alone laugh, and to this extent? _For Christ's sake!_ I know this should be a good thing but my stomach seems to have other ideas right now. Now that slow gentle simmer within me is beginning to boil. _Just don't throw up._

"Gail" Kate's voice, accompanied by her hand on the back of my shoulder startles me but I remain frozen to the spot. "Sorry, Gail, are you okay? I wasn't boring you was I?" she asks, tentatively removing her hand away.

She waves her other hand in front of my face and I lose focus of their reflections in the glass. I close my eyes, pinching them tightly for a moment as I try and get back to a level of consciousness that will allow me to speak. "What?" _Yeah, nice one! That's perfect!_ Amused, she scoffs at me. "I'm sorry, you were saying something about leather?" _Your attempt to recover this conversation is mind-boggling._

"I was about thirty seconds ago. I think I am I losing my touch," she laughs as she rubs her temples firmly with her fingers and then flicks her sunglasses down over her eyes before turning around to walk back over towards the laughing twins. I don't think Kate has really recovered from last night's endless champagne refills, unlike the rest of us.

"No, you're not losing your touch, I am just losing my mind," I tell her as I watch my mother and Holly stop their audible love for one another as soon as they see me coming. My mother averts her eyes away from me before turning on her foot and walking in another direction. _First she stares, now she's avoiding? What the hell were they talking about?_ I sidestep Kate and link my arm around Holly's and we all begin to follow my mother who has been ten steps in front of us the entire day. She has barely even noticed us, not that linking arms is forbidden with friends, but it is somewhat of an unusual occurrence for me. Besides, it's the only thing I can do to stop myself from holding Holly's hand.

I suppress my compulsion to ask her what they were laughing about and I try to wipe it from my expanded memory, though I suspect that is going to take some sort of miracle especially since the sight of them are pretty much burned permanently into my corneas.

Holly leans over and presses her lips against my temple and I lean into her warm gesture.

"You have stop smirking," she pleads quietly to Kate who has been dragging her feet on the other side of me for the last three blocks.

"I'm sorry, but you two are just too adorable," Kate smiles and I feel Holly squeeze my arm tighter, most likely in fear of my reaction to her bosses words.

"Yeah well, I'm not sure the Superintendent would appreciate it," Holly softly chuckles but I remain quiet and concentrate on the ground ahead of me. I'd rather stay out of this conversation as I am now feeling even more ridiculous and embarrassed at hiding from my mother in front of a perfect stranger, someone who Holly obviously confides in.

"Are you kidding, Holly? I think you will be golden where the parents are concerned," Kate states, affirming something have suspected for a while now, if only judging from the way my mother has reacted to her so far. I'm sure if Steve brought her home for Sunday dinner they would be ecstatic. I think my mother probably wants to marry Holly herself. That or for her to become the daughter she never had. _Well who_ _wouldn't?_ Ah whatever! I sigh, only a little too loudly because I feel Holly's eyes burning holes into the side of my face. Before she can open her mouth to ask me her obligatory and sometimes annoying "are you okay?" question, I open mine first.

"Mum," I call out, "this is a complete waste of time," I insist, referring to our disastrous attempt at shopping so far. No one has purchased anything of note, apart from Holly who was excited in finding a shiny new pair of navy blue knee high socks with red polka dots on them, she only had them in orange and purple. _The horror!_ It was such an endearing sight to see. That girl is truly weird though. "We have to leave for the airport in like an hour," I point out, realising I am grasping at straws here; I'd really like nothing more for this trip to be over. "Anyway, if you haven't already noticed, your entire shopping party has been slowly dropping off like flies. And look!" I turn twist my head towards Kate who is chugging back a bottle of water, "Dr. Stephenson looks like she is about to fall on her ass."

Now trailing behind us, Kate nods her head enthusiastically as she continues to drink from her bottle.

"Gail, stop your complaining. There is one last store I want to go to and then we are done," my mother easily dismisses me without even turning around. I don't need to see her face to know what her expression looks like.

"Sorry, I don't think you are going to win this one," Holly whispers in my ear. A no truer statement if I have ever heard one.

"Speaking of winning," I grin widely as I untangle my arm from around hers and hold open either side of my handbag, "I think you forgot something this morning."

Holly peers inside my bag and catches a glimpse of Gail-shark snuggled cosily against my half eaten packet of cheese puffs, a must have for any shopping trip. "Oh right, the dare. How could I forget," she rolls her eyes.

"That's what I'm here for, to remind you of the stupid things we have to do for each other." I nudge her shoulder with my own. "Well, you for me," I rightfully add. Pecks don't do stupid things. _No, never!_

"Wait," she holds me back for a second, perplexed, "isn't that dare null and void though? I did kind of spill my guts last night."

I scoff at her argument. "Yeah, nice try, nerd, that wasn't voluntary."

She turns down her lips, pushing her bottom lip out as her brow furrows inwards. "Sorry, not buying it," I tug at her chin with my thumb and index finger. Her attempt at a sad puppy dog face is very adorable, but not _that_ adorable. "I am not as susceptible to your pouting as you are to mine," I cheekily grin and she nudges me back with her shoulder. She is always such a sucker for any face I pull. "Besides," I smirk as we begin to walk again, "you only have yourself to blame. This was all your idea." I grandiosely point my nose into the air.

"Fine! Give her to me then!" Holly brings her bag around in front of her and I wrestle Gail-shark out of mine and into her own.

"So, do you have a plan then?" I ask.

"I do, so get your phone ready."

"Wait," I slow down and tug on her arm. "You are doing this now?" It suddenly hits me that I might find this more nerve wracking than actually funny. It is my mother after all. My mother and Gail-shark. Holy hell, what was I thinking?

"No time like the present," she smirks as she takes in my hapless expression. "Oh, and make sure you take two versions okay?" she says as she takes a few steps backwards in front of me before turning and jogging up behind my mother.

"Okay." I draw out as I wonder how she will manage to spin this.

"Excuse me, Superintendent?" Holly calls and my mother slows to a stop.

"You can call me Elaine, dear," she insists as she turns around and I arrive in front of them shortly after.

"Oh, okay. Elaine," Holly awkwardly corrects herself. "Would you mind posing for a photo with Dr. Stephenson and I? It is for our departments annual report." Uh! She has figured her out, that's for sure. Nothing like a good 'ol report to get my mothers blood pumping.

"Oh, yes, that's fine, dear," my mother smiles as she will take any opportunity to be in a photo that will be in print, even if this one does ends up being made on Holly's home printer. "Did you want to do it now?"

"Please, if you wouldn't mind." Holly looks back to me. "Gail where do you want us?"

"Wherever," I say gesturing towards the curb.

"Kate," Holly drawers her attention and she finally makes her way over to us. "Gail is going to take our photo for our annual report," Holly informs her.

"Good idea, that thing is always seriously lacking in pictures. Though do we really need my ugly mug in this?" Kate asks with a wry smile.

I touch Kate on the shoulder and softly push her towards them. "I think you'll want to be in this particular photo," I urge her quietly.

"I do?" she replies incredulously, scratching at her brow.

"Trust me," I laugh.

They shuffle over towards the road and huddle together, Kate removing her sunglasses as my mother strategically places herself in the middle. Of course she would do that. I can't help but chuckle at her ability to even take over a simple photograph. _What an_ _attention whore._

"Just turn a little you guys," I direct them away from the direct sunlight. "All the squinting from the sun makes it look like your all busting to go to the toilet." Holly and Kate laugh while my mother closes her eyes in frustration as she battles against her natural urge to scold me. _That's it, suck it up, mother!_

I hold my camera phone out in front of me. "You ready?" I peak around the screen to see Holly quickly poke her tongue out at me as she lifts Gail-shark covertly out of her bag and holds her behind her back. I try to take a calming breath when I feel my stomach muscles tense and I shake my head in amusement. This makes me want to die for so many reasons. "Okay, say 'shopping sucks'." Holly and Kate oblige while my mother just smiles humourlessly, Holly quickly bringing Gail-shark out from behind her back to position her behind my mothers shoulder. It takes me every ounce of composure I have to not burst out laughing as I take the picture, but it's not enough because a gasp escapes my mouth as I see the photo preview on the screen a second later. It's perfect! Not only do Kate and Holly appear to tower over my mother like two amazons, but also Gail-shark looks like she is ready to bite my mother's head off.

My mother takes a couple of steps forward before I hold my hand out in front of myself stopping her from coming any closer and Holly shoves Gail-shark back into her bag without anyone noticing. "What's wrong with it?" she asks, "Is my hair okay?" She asks significantly quieter. _Vain much?_

"Stay there," I laugh, flicking my wrist repeatedly back towards her. "Um, I have to take it again, Holly was pulling a face," I lie with ease. Holly cocks her head to the side and scowls at me and I wink at her before my mother turns back around. _What? I had to blame someone?_

I reset the camera. "Okay, let's try that again. This time everybody say, 'I need a drink'."

* * *

The faint sound of two murmuring voices swoosh through my ears as I open my eyes and see my reflection in the mirror. I run my hands over my hips and down to the tops of my thighs smoothing out the deep blue fabric while the small and intricately embroidered beads slide under my fingertips like brail. I hold my breath as I glance down at the price tag dangling out from its short sleeve, taunting me. I can only assume that this dress is going to cost a fortune because my mother went straight for the racks of couture. I close my eyes and flip the tag over expelling the air as I open them again. My eyes gloss over and widen in shock at the huge number staring back at me. Fourteen hundred dollars it reads. _Fourteen hundred dollars!_ _Is she completely crazy?_ Had I realised it was going to be this expensive when my mother draped it over the door of my changing stall I would have refused to put it on (even if she is paying for it). I don't know what I did to deserve it frankly. Why do I deserve anything really?

"How does it look?" my mother hollers loudly and I open the stall door and walk out into the open changing room area nervously looking down at my feet. I raise my head to find both my mother and Holly sitting next to each other on one the benches that line the changing room wall but Kate is nowhere to be seen. They are collectively staring at me of course, Holly's mouth embarrassingly falls open as my mother moves her head side to side deciding on whether she likes it or not. "That looks nice," she comments with no expression at all. Throw a smile on her face and I could almost take it as a compliment.

"What do you think?" she turns to Holly who is still bravely staring at me, silent and mouth still slightly agape as she slowly comes undone before my eyes. I don't know whether to be flattered or scared for my life right now. I watch my mother observe her, curiously squinting her eyes in and out like she is changing focus as she takes in a clearer view of the subject in front of her. She is watching Holly ogle me.

For a faint second I think I see the emergence of a smile creep onto my mother's face, as if she senses something, possibly has even figured something out. She's always did liked a good mystery _._ Before I get a chance to fully study her and let my head spin out of control, she whips her head back towards me. _What the hell was that?_

Holly suddenly clears her throat startling me. I think now she has finally figured out that she has been gaping at me, kind of in the same the way as I stare adoringly at donuts, or just food in general really. She doesn't say a word, she just adjusts her glasses and continues staring, only a little less like a stunned mullet this time. I am not even sure she heard my mother's question.

"It does look a size too big though, have you lost weight?" my mother asks. Luckily for me my weight has never been something that she has ever commented negatively on. God, could you imagine?

"Thanks for noticing," I say with mock elation. "About 100 grams actually. I skipped my morning donut," I smirk. "I mean donuts," I quickly add just to annoy her some more.

Holly covers her mouth attempting to conceal a snort. Its arrival is imminent. My mother twists her head over her shoulder towards Holly, rolling her eyes as the sound carries through Holly's fingers. "And do you encourage this kind behavior, Dr. Stewart?" she raises her brow at her, her tone measured but insistent. Holly quickly composes herself, momentarily furrowing her brow in worried panic before putting her hands up playfully in defense.

Holly grins at me. "She is quite _special_ your daughter," she alludes with extra emphasis on the 'special' part. _Bitch_.

"I think she was born this way," my mother sighs, very slowly exhaling. _Bitch_.

"It's endearing really," Holly adds.

"Aww, thanks Muffin-chops," I curtsy, holding the dresses full-length skirt out sideways.

"That however is not," my mother shakes her head and adamantly wriggles her finger at me as Holly begins to laugh, _again_ , the sound of which seems oddly pleasing to my mothers ears because she begins to smirk. My mother is funny now apparently.

I shake my head as I go back into my changing stall, closing the door behind me before I head straight towards my handbag finding the open packet of cheese puffs, however Gail-shark gets in the way. _Keeping me from my food? Naughty Gail-shark!_

I shove a few in my mouth and start chewing as quietly as possible. "Looks like it's just you and me, hey Gail-shark?" I mumble, spitting orange crumbs out everywhere as I lift her out of my bag and sit down with her on the small bench under the mirror.

"You'll still be my friend, right? When those two nut jobs out there run off with each other?" I conjecture quietly as I hold her up in front of my face, wiggling her little fin. "I'm loyal. I'll be there for you when you need me too. Protect you from those killer whales or whatever other stupid asshole creatures there are who are trying to kill you on any given day." I move her closer to my lips. "Including those terrible humans," I whisper. "But not me, okay?" I assure her.

"I am occasionally cranky though," I declare to her frankly. "Okay, I'll admit it," I pause as I drop her to my lap and stroke her fur, "I am always cranky," I selflessly admit. "But that's just part of my charm, okay?" I claim as I lift her up again in front of me and smile. "At least I think it is" I wonder as I feel a frown wash over my face. I breathily sigh.

"I like you Gail-shark, you know?" _Why would she know she is a stuffed animal?_ "You don't smell, you don't eat my food and best of all you don't talk back." I bring her into my chest and nestle my chin into her soft grey fur that's now covered in cheese-flavoured dust. "We'll get along just fine," I smile.

"Who are you talking to in there?" my mother chirps and I stand up at an alarmingly quick speed, throwing Gail-shark back into my bag like a wayward flying bullet. _Sorry buddy_.

"Just Gail," I giggle as I reach into my bag for another cheese puff. I know she won't have any idea what I am talking about but Holly probably will. They already think I'm weird anyway so who really cares?

I stand there looking in the mirror, shaking my head slowly as I shove the cheese puff into my mouth. I can't really seem to stop my head from moving back and forth though. I think am going to need to make an appointment with the chiropractor when we get back home so all my joints can be set back into place because my mother is slowly unhinging them one by one as the hours pass by. I sigh heavily and reach around my back to the zipper, however I struggle to get my fingers on it. I sigh again in annoyance. "Mum," I whine childishly leaning against the mirror with my hands. "I can't get the zipper. Help!"

It's not long before there is a tapping at the door and I lean back and unlock it. Holly steps inside and drops her bag in between us on the floor. "Your mum has gone to get us coffees and to get you a dress size smaller," she smiles as she falls back against the door opposite me. "Though," she pauses as she rakes her eyes over my body, "I don't think you need it. The other size I mean. You're perfect."

I blush as I look down at my dress. "You sure?" I ask as I touch the fabric over my ribs, "I suppose," I meander, "it does feel a little loose in places though," I say as I turn around and look at it in the mirror again. I straighten up, sucking my stomach in as I run my hands over my boobs and then continually up and down my ribs smoothing out the fabric some more. Fuck it! It seems my mother was right again. It is a little too big. _Damn her._

I turn back to Holly who looks to be completely frozen in place with her arms down flat against the door. She bites her bottom lip as our eyes lock together. I smile curiously at her as I try to decipher her current expression. I have seen this particular one a few times before, however, her eyes suddenly seem a shade darker and her demeanor is far more intense than usual. We continue our staring contest for a solid thirty seconds but she doesn't let up. I take a tentative step towards her and over her bag. "Zipper?" I say in an attempt at breaking the ice and from the corner of my eye I catch her fingers scrunch tensely against the back of the door. She really doesn't look to be moving anytime soon. I turn around and edge backwards towards her. I figure if she actually sees the zipper it may help.

After ten seconds of even more deafening silence, I finally feel the zipper move, though it's painfully slow as her knuckle ghosts down my back along with the tentative movement of her hand. The sound of the zip scraping along the metal teeth tickles my ears as I try and concentrate on my reflection in the mirror.

I hear her mumble something. "Sorry, I didn't quite catch that," I inform her as she finally reaches the lower curve of my back as the zip comes to its end point.

Within a split second I feel the tip of one of her fingers begin to slide achingly from the bottom of my back and gently up my spine over the exposed skin, heightening all my senses in an instant, in turn causing my eyes to fall shut in anticipation. Anticipation of her next move. Anticipation of whatever is about to come out of her mouth. Whichever one it is, I only have one answer. _Yes_.

I step back into her body, letting my head fall back against her shoulder. I feel the warm air of her breath travel down my neck and dissipate right above my collarbone. Her hands slide upwards over my shoulder blades pushing the fabric up, then down from my shoulders, eventually letting the material fall down to my waist, before her hands slide back up the sides of my arms and over my shoulders again. I'd give anything to feel her lips on my skin right now. _Anywhere_.

She tantalisingly adjusts my bra straps, running her fingers under the stiffened silk and across the now hot skin of my back. A puff of air rushes past my ear as she opens her mouth to speak. "Come home with me tonight," she barely even whispers, her voice is low and notably shaking as her words roll through me like a wave, flooding my ears with an abundance of warmth and nervousness.

I turn around and lean my forehead against hers as we intertwine our fingers together; our hands hovering statically in the silent air either side of us while our fingers start to playfully roll around in each other's palms.

"Sunday dinner at the parents," I breathe out.

"Oh," she replies solemnly and her shoulders slump as her fingers cease their movement against mine.

I smile to myself as I let her sadness wash over her for a few cruel drawn out moments. "Totally coming over after though," I smirk as I move our hands back against the door and I push off of her, leaving her with a smile. I turn away and start removing my dress when all of a sudden another dress flies over the door and I see it hit Holly in the head in the reflection in the mirror. I throw my hand over my mouth to stifle a laugh as the dress eventually covers her entirely.

"Try that on," my mother calls out. "I'll be back with coffee. Where's Dr. Stewart?" She asks.

I move my hand momentarily away from my mouth and take a second to think of a suitable reply. "Toilet, I think," I call back as Holly remains dead frozen under the dress.

"We should convince that girl to buy something nice don't you think? I am imagining she has an abundance of fleece in that wardrobe of hers. Such a pretty face, she could pull off just about anything. Just like you."

If I weren't about to fall down in hysterics right now from her "abundance of fleece," comment I might take a moment to bask in the fact the she just paid me a compliment, even if it did come backhandedly off of someone else's intended compliment, but no, I begin to slide down the mirror until I eventually hit the bench underneath it as my muscles start to convulse as I silently and painfully begin to laugh.

"Back shortly, sweetheart."

I reach into my bag and pull out my phone, every now and then suppressing the gasp that wants to fall from my mouth. I quickly press the camera app icon then I hold the phone out towards Holly, who is still hidden under my dress and I take a photo.

"You can come out now, nerd," I giggle and she pulls the dress down and it slides off her head. I make sure to take another picture just for prosperity. Her hair is strewn all across her face and she tries adorably to blow it out of her eyes but it tangles around her glasses. She rolls her eyes and then her head back against the door and bangs it repeatedly before closing her eyes completely as I start to laugh louder. A smile creeps onto her face as she begins shaking her head and I just know it's at me.

"You are so incredibly cute right now," I find myself saying through staggered breaths.

She opens her eyes and lifts her head off the door and proceeds to scowl at me when she sees I have been holding my phone up at her. Her scowl slowly fades as her gaze gravitates down to my underwear clad body and only a moment later she is shaking her head vigorously to snap herself out of it, blinking quickly as if she were wishing the sight away. She picks up her bag and hangs it over her shoulder trying desperately not to stare at me again, so she carefully covers her eyes as she leaves.

I love that I can make her this nervous and uncomfortable. I wonder if she will be like this later tonight. This could be really fun. _That is if you yourself are not having a heart attack._

* * *

As I am pushed back into my seat from the force of the takeoff, I can't help but smirk at the body tensing next to me. For someone who can command a room just by walking into it, my mother suddenly seems so small in comparison; a mere shell of her former self.

"Still afraid of flying I see," I blatantly point out with my smirk at full tilt. She remains silent, her eyes closed and her fingers wound tightly around my own as our hands rest across the middle arm rest. Funnily enough this is not the first time today she has tried and succeeded in holding my hand. Usually if she is holding my hand it is because she is attempting to drag me somewhere or is trying to convince me to do something and somehow human contact in this respect is the only way for her to get her point across. Being all-knowing and everything, I thought she would have probably figured out by now that is not a way I like to communicate.

As the plane begins to level out she slowly loosens her grip, letting some of the blood flow back into my fingers however leaving her hand still firmly in place over mine. I stifle a laugh. Unlike her I am not totally devoid of sympathy when it comes to crippling fears.

"May I please have my hand back please, mother?" I ask politely, though I am unable to mask my smug tone or in fact willing to.

Disgruntled, she sighs, gently shaking her head against the headrest before finally releasing my hand from her clammy and mildly trembling hand. She rolls her head towards me as she opens her eyes. She watches as I shake my hand out and flex my fingers until all blood flow has been completely restored. I give her a knowing smirk but her face is stoic and her focus unrelenting as her normally cold eyes now hone in on mine. This is the only time I will ever catch my mother in a state of unrest and I have yet to test her vulnerability in such a scenario. Maybe this is my chance to tell her.

I hear the seat belt sign ding.

"Gail," she is calculating, her eyes searching, her lips parting as she wills the words to come out of her mouth. She reaches for my hand again and in this instance, time suddenly stands still. This is it, she is finally going to give in and tell me what is going on with her. Let's hear it then, mother.

Damn. Her eyes drop to our hands as hers finds its way to my bracelet where she begins running her thumb back and forth across the silver chain. She squints, the crease between her eyebrows now growing by the second. "This is," she stares at it in wonderment taking a skull charm between her thumb and index finger, rolling it around a few times before letting go. _Cheap? Ugly? Childish?_

"From Holly," I decide to finish for her, before she says something stupid and I proceed to ignore her for the rest of the flight.

"Humph," she expels some air from her nose while nodding as if she is not completely surprised by my admission. She moves her hand to her lap and readjusts herself more comfortably in her seat and focuses on whatever is in front of her. _That's it?_

A new silence envelopes us and I take a deep breath in as a sudden bout of courage surges through me. I turn in my seat to face towards her, bringing my barefoot up and onto the seat as I wrap my arms around my leg, while I pull my knee in towards my chin to act as a kind of barrier between us and more of a shield for me. I have decided if she is not going to continue with whatever she needs to confess then I am going to instead and what a perfect time to do it to. Fifteen hundred feet in the air, trapped in a tin can, the object of my affection a ten rows down from us (I counted), not to mention the added bonus of a hundred strangers surrounding us, particularly the women next to me who has been shovelling copious amounts of chocolate in her face since we boarded the plane. _I know the feeling, lady_. And how dare she not share.

"Actually mum, speaking of," I bite my knee, drifting off as I try to choose my next words wisely. "We are-"

"Do you think she is set in her ways?" my mother asks, slowly cocking her head as a deep thought washes over. Her timing is impeccable as always.

I drop my forehead to my knee and I breathe out one long continuous breath. Fine, I'll bite. "Uh, is who set in whose way, mum?" I lift my head.

"Dr Stewart," she says, pointing her nose a few times in the direction of her current line of sight, so I naturally I follow it only to find Holly walking across the cabin towards the bathroom. She pauses in front of the cubicle door as she catches us staring at her. She smiles inquisitively at us with a what-the-fuck-are-you-looking-at-me-like-for kind of face, and then she waves politely before disappearing inside before we even have a chance to respond in kind.

"Dr. Stewart, do you think she is set in her ways, with the whole lesbian thing?"

"The whole lesbian thing?" I repeat, amazed and somewhat amused at her choice of words. Not a very articulate statement as one would normally expect from my mother.

"Yes, that's what I said, sweetheart."

"Jesus, mum!" I exclaim.

"What?"

"Yes, I am pretty sure she is set in her ways, with the "whole lesbian thing." I quote as I bob my head side to side.

"No need to get smart with me, sweetheart, I was just thinking out loud," she huffs, lowering the tone of her voice.

"Yeah, whatever, Elaine."

"It's just-"

"Here we go," I roll my eyes mumbling to myself. What nonsensical shit is about to part ways from her mouth now?

"I was just thinking that, perhaps, Steven and Holly could, you know," she suggests and my jaw instantly drops to my knee. She is absolutely desperate that's for sure.

"I mean-"

"Oh, I know what you mean, mum, everybody does" I scoff emphatically. The fact that she just called Holly by her first name for the first time has not got lost on me either. She is dead serious. "Anyway, I uh, don't think she can just flick a switch like that," I say, almost sounding a little unconvinced by my own words, though not in respect to where Holly is concerned.

She sighs heavily but then smiles to herself just to confuse me that little bit more.

"It's such a pity, isn't it?" she asks and I am gob smacked as to whether I am supposed to agree with this sentiment.

"Yes, mum, what a bloody pity! Poor little Steven, your special baby boy won't be able to marry your new best friend, the highly successful and motivated doctor and make smart little ginger babies with quick reflexes and very questionable eyesight," I say as we watch Holly exit the bathroom.

"Oh, Gail," she turns her head and laughs at me, such a rare thing in itself. "No," she says, now patting my knee assuringly as Holly approaches us grinning widely. "What I meant was, it is a pity you're not gay," she says, sending my mind reeling within a millisecond, "she would make a lovely daughter in law," she adds quietly right before Holly greets us.

"Hello," Holly smiles as she squats down on the floor of the aisle holding onto the seat in front of my mother for balance. "Kate has popped some Valium and I am incredibly bored right now. What are you ladies whispering about over here?"

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. All that is swirling through my head right now, trying to cause havoc, is the fact that my mother wishes I was gay and that she would love a new daughter.

"Babies, dear. Do you want kids?" my mother asks getting straight to the point. Either she is just generally curious or she is not done with the whole Holly/Steve idea. I drop my leg to the ground and fall back into my seat.

Mystified, Holly directs her gaze towards me while I try to avoid eye contact. God, what on earth could she be thinking right now? I know she can see these wheels turning in my head and I don't like it one bit. _If only she knew the half of it_.

I look towards the escape hatch, something my mother had pointed out to me earlier, as a hand comes into view under my nose and the distinct smell of chocolate immediately captures my attention. I turn to the lady sitting on the other side of me who is regarding me somewhat sympathetically and she leans in closer to my ear.

"Have some chocolate, darlin'. I find it helps," she recommends quietly, dropping a half dozen pieces into my hand.


	39. Chapter 29

I dump my suitcase at the bottom of the staircase and begin to trudge up to the second floor, making sure to hit each step with the heavy force they so rightly deserve. _Like seriously? Who in their right mind invented these things? Actually, who was the genius that thought second floors were a good idea in the first place?_ As I reach my final hurdle I am immediately reminded of all my shortcomings as I find myself face to face with the abundance of family photographs (or should I say, "This Is Your Life, Steven Peck") which line the hallway wall that lead directly to my old bedroom (and when I say "old", I mean the one I have lived in on and off for the better part of twenty-nine years up until about two and a half months ago. _I am that cool_.)

It is a timeline of sorts, a story of personal growth, of dreams fulfilled; a highlight reel full of accomplishments. All of which are deserved, I will never begrudge my brother of that, he has always worked hard regardless of whether the parental unit has pushed him or not, but I have always assumed that this ever increasing showing of pride has only ever been on display for my benefit, to show me exactly how a Peck's life ought to pan out.

Every time I have come home recently it seems like a new picture frame has been added to his wall of fame, so naturally it won't be long before these pictures creep their way along the hallway and eventually find their way into my bedroom. I don't know what my mother is thinking though; I assume they are supposed to be there as a source of motivation but it's more like having these constant shadows of expectations hovering over me. Expectations I can never truly live up to. For the longest time these photographs have only represented one thing to me, my inadequacy at being a Peck. Not only in my direction as a police officer (or I should say, lack thereof) but also in being their only daughter, a constant source of disappointment.

It is the habitual arm-wrestle with my mother that I find particularly taxing, and lately I find myself to be more or less going through the motions when it comes to any sort of career progression. I have no real intention of actually succeeding in whatever applications make it across my desk, however, I would never let these intentions be known because I still feel compelled to keep up this little charade of what it is to "be a Peck" around my both my mother and my colleagues. I think it's something I will always be doing regardless of circumstance and that's because I have never really known anything else. It is like muscle memory to me now, a reflex, something I can't just unlearn.

I have always taken my job very seriously though, because being a police officer is very important to me. I have not only grown to enjoy it, I in fact love it (more or less). And it's not that I don't have ambition, I most certainly do, it's just, I have no earthly idea what I want to do next, nothing has ever popped out at me, whacked me in the face and declared, "This is it! This is your calling!" The fact that it's four years later and I am still essentially living by Andy's "Fake it til you make it" motto is something I can't quite believe and it is doing nothing for my already shot self-esteem. _Jesus! What is the world coming to? I am quoting Andy McNally now?_ So until that time comes where I know what I want to do with my life I will probably continue to play my mother's little game of cat and mouse, though in this metaphor I am the mouse. A fucking tiny mouse, with very little backbone.

Steve is just lucky that this particular arm wrestle was something he was able to quickly pin down and move on from. I'm not jealous of my brother, per se; in fact I am actually quite proud of him. Not that I would ever tell the jerk that! He already has a big enough ego as it is. But despite how big it has become, he has never purposefully shoved it in my face, he has always been painfully aware of the pressures I have been faced with and I know this because he has secretly (or not so secretly to me) been trying to shield me from a lot of it most of my life and I love him for that. I really do.

I suppose in a way I wish I could be more like him, always being praised, because in recent years when my mother looks at me she expects nothing more than mediocre and now, even my dad, who has always been kind and a source of comfort to me, I feel is gradually giving up on me too. I always thought he was in my corner.

I think being their second born I was the child not necessarily born out of love but out of necessity. For self-preservation as it were. Harsh I know and deep down I can only hope it's not true, but it has always been something that I have carried with me, something that has continually toyed with my emotions and it is one of the reasons why I think my mother has treated me rather arduously all these years. Perhaps she has been building me up all this time to spawn more super soldiers. I don't know. I mean, look how frequently she has been setting me up on dates? And now she wishes I was a lesbian, not only so she can have a daughter to be proud of but for a higher-end baby making machine _._ ThoughI don't think she would even give a crap who births the kid as long as it's last name is Peck. Actually that's not true. She would probably prefer a new line of genes. _Babies? Why am I thinking about babies?_

Nothing I do ever feels like it will be good enough for her, and now, especially given the past few hours, I find these thoughts are taking over me completely and I fear the worst is yet to come. That moment of self-sabotage I thought, or was hoping had left me forever, has finally reared its ugly head again. I just pray to the cheese puff gods that I have enough strength not to damage the one relationship that has come to mean so much to me in such a short amount of time and I hope to fight off every natural instinct that usually comes my way in such situations like these. Let's just hope I can keep my mouth shut. That's what I'll do. I won't say another word.

As my head hits the back of my bedroom door with a resounding crack it sends shockwaves through my skull, reverberating down my neck until I shudder as the feeling rides quickly down the path of my spine.

My handbag falls tirelessly from my shoulder and I manage to catch the strap in my hand just before it has a chance to hit the ground, but when I hear their voices carrying though the walls I find myself fighting the urge to throw it across my room and break things. In particular that very fake, seemingly happy family photo sitting over on my dressing table. I push tirelessly off the door with my back and take a few steps towards the bed and against my first compulsion to throw my bag and lose my shit, I calmly drop my it on top of the new dress uniform that has been laid out so meticulously for me at the bottom corner of my bed. A few minutes earlier my mother had ordered me to go and try it on before I intentionally forget to. Her words, and they are indeed accurate ones.

I throw myself face first into the mattress, letting my limbs sprawl out in every direction. "This is not how this night was supposed to go," I mumble into the dusty bedspread, scrunching it in one hand while reaching blindly for a pillow in the other, something I'd like nothing more than to use to smother my face with but instead I opt to lie cuddling it in the fetal position and I never want to let go. _Well not until dinner at least._

It's weird how things can change so suddenly. When I was daydreaming earlier in the dayI had thought that twenty minutes from now I would be anxiously sitting at the Peck family dinner table up until the moment I was excused. You would have found me breaking every traffic rule known to mankind as I made my way speedily over to Holly's apartment, music pumping like it was the last sound I would ever hear before the world ended, or sooner my life ended because of my crazy-ass fast driving. I imagined myself running up the path to her building (yes, I do mean running) and fumbling over the security pad hoping that my memory and fingers would function enough to enter in the security code because there would be a hell of a lot of nervous energy coursing through my body, all of which had been gradually building inside me since this afternoon and that breath defying, skin tingling moment in the women's changing stall.

Knocking on her front door wouldn't be the hard part. Her opening it and me not immediately pouncing on top of her and pushing her down to the floor as soon as I saw her in next to nothing because her heating was turned up so high, would have been the hard part. I think all my self-restraint would have gone straight out the window along with all her clothes. But now I find myself to be drifting in and out of consciousness as I lay like lost child on top my bed at the family homestead.

I am brought back to consciousness when I hear a light tapping on my bedroom door before someone enters. I quickly sit up and move to the top of the bed, turning, only to find Holly standing inside the door taking in her new surroundings, not that there is much to look at. My mum mother has made sure of that.

I lean back against the headboard and stretch my legs out across the bed, holding the pillow over my lap as she closes the door behind her. I had left her downstairs with my parents almost immediately after arriving here. A bit of a dick move I know, but let's face it; I am a bit of a dick. _Yeah you are!_ Anyway, what did she expect? She was the one who accepted my mother's offer to come for dinner. I didn't say a word when she had looked at me for permission. I suppose a shrug of the shoulders was good enough for her.

"This is not what I expected Gail Peck's bedroom to look like," she says wandering around my bed and over to my lonely bedroom window. She was probably expecting half torn posters of my teenage crushes or something. I am not even sure if she is aware that I have basically lived in this room most of my life, even then it wouldn't have mattered as there were always a strict set rules when it came to decorating my bedroom, which was a simple, "don't!"

She turns and leans back against the windowsill somewhat apprehensively and I observe the tension mounting in her arms as her hands start to grip the ledge, her eyes narrowing, as her knuckles turn white.

"At first glance your father looked rather intimidating, a bit surly and gruff," she breaks the ice and a sigh of relief washes over me.

"He is just a big pile of goo, really," I tell her nonchalantly as I pick at my pillow.

"I figured that when he pulled you into a bear hug at the airport and called you pumpkin over and over," she smiles as she glances over at the family portrait I had wanted to throw my bag at only moments ago. She squints at it, taking it in and quickly pushes off the windowsill with her hands before she makes her way over to my dresser. She picks up the picture frame and lightly brushes her thumb over the younger, and even more awkward, brunette version of myself who is hesitantly smiling back at her. She smiles to herself and places it back on my dresser but continues to study it.

"Your mum had said her driver was picking us up at the airport, so when she kissed him, I kind of freaked out there for a second. I was like, who the hell greets their drivers like that?" She laughs straightening the picture frame so it is back in its previous position.

I shake my head, "I don't know what he ever saw in my mother." She turns around and looks back at me with a faint hint of distaste as my harsh words echo through the room.

"Must be one of those opposites attracting kinds of situations," she breathes out, "Besides, you can't help whom you fall in love with," she says as she adjusts her glasses, "Can you?" she pin points my eyes.

Feeling awkward tension, I lower my gaze to my boots, which are stretched out across the bed. "I guess not," I mumble as remove the pillow from my lap and place it next to me.

She wipes her now dusty hands down the sides of her jeans before anxiously walking over to me. She drops down onto the bed, making me dip forwards towards her, however I manage to bring my knees up in front of myself just as she is about to reach for them. She sighs and retreats, dragging her hand along the bedspread and back into her lap. She normally wouldn't push me for answers but I fear this time is different. If she doesn't say what she needs to say right now she very well may implode. _Better her than me at this point._

"Gail," she drops her head back to stare up at the ceiling to take a moment for herself, her eyes warming at the sight of the semi gleaming glow in the dark constellation stickers stuck up there (thankfully something my mother has never noticed). Steve had stuck them up there for me on the night of my eighth birthday and told me to focus on a different one every night and make a wish. I can't help but look up at the ceiling now to find my favourite star because I wish I didn't have to answer any of the questions that are about to be flung my way. _And here it comes._

"What has changed in the last," she pauses to check her watch, "ninety minutes?" she continues, rightly concerned but I just stare at her blankly. _Mouth closed at all times, loser._ "That's what, the third time you have pulled away from me in the space of an hour?" _Don't ask me._ _You're the one who's counting_.

_"You're smart, Holly. I would have thought you would have taken the hint by now,"_ I find myself saying in my head. _Great choice of words, numbnuts, though try again_.

"-Which is weird because you haven't been more than an arm's length away from me the entire day."

_"Except for those times when you were hanging with your new mother-in-law."_ These words find their way to the back of my throat but I don't let them escape. _Nope, try again, dinkus._

_"_ In fact-," she pauses to note of the tired sigh that escapes my mouth, "you haven't stopped touching me, period," she says, momentarily avoiding eye contact. _That doesn't sound like you at all... Actually, yes it does._

I drop my chin to my knees and wrap my arms around my shins as she turns towards me on the bed, sliding a leg up under herself as she leans on her arm in towards the middle of the mattress. We sit in silence, her staring intently at my face while I find myself counting each breath she takes until our chest rises are completely in sync. Her breath hitches as she reaches for the strand of hair hanging beside my face. I close my eyes, however I don't pull away, instead my grip tightens around my legs as if to suck the life out of them. Her touching me is the last thing I need. I can't even breathe properly because she is sitting too close to me right now.

She tucks the stray hair behind my ear and I feel my nose suddenly twitch. "What were you and my mother laughing about today?" I open my eyes and her look of concern turns to confusion and then to something else entirely.

"I am not sure I want to answer that," she ponders, scratching anxiously at her brow.

"Why?" I ask in a grousing puff of air.

"Because of that," she reasons waving her hand around in front of my face. I hadn't even noticed I was grimacing until I forced my facial muscles relax. "And I am not particularly crazy about your tone either."

My eyes momentarily fall to the back of my head. "You have spent so much time with my mother that you now sound like her," I mumble cautiously into my knees so she can't understand me.

"What did you say?" She asks as I lift my head up and I notice the way she is regarding me. She slightly turns her head and raises one eyebrow very slowly and I suddenly can't resist the urge to answer her question honestly.

"I s-said, you sound like my mother," I stammer before burying my mouth into my knees. I kick myself as I wait for her reaction but the one I receive is not the one that I was expecting or actually wanting. Instead she takes a deep breath in as a half smirk creeps it's way to the edge of her mouth before she disguises it with her hand. It's like she knew what was coming. Such a typical Gail response, I guess. Perhaps nothing will ever surprise her. _Famous last words._

"I think this was a mistake," she claims, shifting her leg back to the floor and she concentrates on her feet. "Me being here," she clarifies, slapping her hands onto her thighs before leaning heavily into them to stand up. _And she's leaving already. This has to be some kind of record, Peck!_

"If you say so, Holly," I comment childishly and she stops mid coat adjustment and drops back down heavily onto the bed.

I lift my chin from my knees somewhat baffled. "What are you doing?" I ask, thinking I was in the clear.

"Deciding something," she replies as she stares blankly across towards the window and out into my mother's perfectly landscaped backyard.

Seconds pass and I become increasingly impatient by her inaction. "Decided yet?" I utter dryly and she turns to me again, only this time she grabs my hands from around my legs, holding on tightly as she forces them down beside by my boots.

"Gail, tell me," she looks achingly into my eyes, nervously biting at her lip, forcing my gaze to stay on hers. "Do you want me to go?" She asks, however she is unable to disguise the strain in her voice.

She runs circles around the tops of my hands with her thumbs. "It's not-" I stop suddenly remembering my earlier agreement with myself.

"It's not what?" She shakes my hands softly trying to will the words out of me, and fuck! It's working! _Don't do it! Don't you dare start talking!_

I bite my tongue. "It's not that I want you to go-" She nods her head, urging me to continue, "It's that I need you to go," I tell her, pulling my hands away from hers so as to hide them in my lap.

"Okay, I will go, Gail," she promptly complies, leaving me shocked as well as relieved at the fact that she has agreed so easily. _Why is she always so understanding?_ "But first you need to tell me why I need to go." _And now I'm fucked!_

"That's precisely why I need you to go," I close my eyes in a huff and I wish her away.

"So you don't have to talk to me?" She asks and I blindly nod my head as it rests back against the headboard.

"I don't want to have to hurt you," I admit ambiguously, opening one eye. _Have? You said have?_

"Have to hurt me?" she repeats back to me quickly while her eyes widen in wonderment. "Why do you _have_ to hurt me at all?" She asks, now completely dumbfounded and I can't really blame her, I would be too. _Way to go, dumb-ass!_

"Holly, that's not what I meant," I groan, already sick of the sound of my own voice, "I mean, not exactly," I confess.

"O-Okay," she drawers out. "What did you mean then?"

I sigh loudly. "Holly, please," I beg, "I don't know," is all I can offer her as I hide my head behind my knees. "You should just go, okay?" I plead; the sound of my voice is muffled through my thighs.

"Gail," she sighs, tapping at my boot trying to grab my attention. "Gail, can you look at me, please?" I doesn't take much before I'm obeying her. It never does.

I raise my head as she pushes her glasses to the top of her head so she can rub at her eyes. _I know the feeling_. _Dealing with emotionally stunted people is tiring, isn't it?_

"I know at this point you are probably thinking, why the fuck is she still here? Why is she still talking at me? Asking me questions? Being incredibly annoying. That's just me, Gail, you will have to get used to it," she points out smiling, before her serious Doctor face returns. "Most people would probably be half way home by now if they knew you at all and what was good for them." I shrug my shoulders, as I don't disagree. "I am thinking that is what you are used to, people leaving at the most inopportune times?" She continues to look at me for answers, but nothing. "And yes, it is probably the smart thing to do. I probably should leave and I may live to regret this in a few minutes, but Gail, I'm not people. You have even told me so. You're not people, you've told me, and I think that means something, you know?" She looks at me for confirmation but only shortly after she is lowering her head in disappointment at my lack of a response. "Well it does to me anyway," she mumbles quietly. "So against my better judgment and despite the fact that that particular look you have been giving me scares the living crap out of me, I am not going to leave," she pauses looking back up at me, "not at least until you give me a good reason to, because I don't want to leave you here. I don't want to leave you stewing, making whatever this situation is worse. And I know you will, because you have probably begun to already. So I'm staying, and if you need to hurt me, then hurt me, but I am going to continue to asks questions because I care about you, I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy if I can."

"Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?" I smirk. I can't help it.

"A lot of people actually, though not as charmingly as you," she returns the smirk before talking a staggered breath in. "I know this is about your mother," she eludes and her words abruptly cause me to shift awkwardly on the spot, which only confirms her suspicions as I watch as she subtly nods her head to herself. "So, did I do something to upset you in regards to her? Do you think she hates me or something? Is that something you are worrying about? Did she say something? Did you tell her about us?"

"Oh my god, Holly! Please! No to all those questions," I sigh and I grip my shins tightly once again.

"Or is it because she asked me about babies? Because I thought I handled her and the situation pretty well and swiftly I might add. It was no big deal, Gail." She shrugs it off without even taking a moment to think about my last outburst and I feel the heat suddenly rising within my chest.

"Yes, you handle her very well. Congratulations! Holly! You are a mother-wrangling pro," I raise my arms out in front of me and then bow in mock worship before returning to my previous position. _What the fuck are you doing?_

Unimpressed, she shakes her head at me. "You are not going to even try here are you?"

"I don't know what you want me to say, Holly," I deflect.

"Anything at this point, I don't really care. I just want you to spit it out so we can deal with it. Or you can deal. I have no idea, Gail!"

She sits there silently, staring annoyingly at me and before I know it the words I have been trying to hold back are at the tip of my tongue. This is the exact position I didn't want to be put in. Why couldn't she be like everybody else and just leave?

"My mother likes you, Holly," I concede.

"Okay," she responds, a little unsure of herself. "And I take it by the look on your face that this is not a good thing? I am a little confused here, Gail," she says as her nerves start to set it. She can sense the Gail-apocalypse approaching.

"You're perfect Holly," I announce sharply and suddenly the moment is now upon us. "She basically said so herself. With your fucking beautiful face and your perfect brain, your perfect job, your uncharacteristic dedication and your drive and your awards. All your awards," I find myself rolling my eyes at the last part. _You are terrible_.

"I don't know whether to be flattered right now or offended at the fact that you are using the things that I am most proud of about myself, the things I have worked so hard towards most of my life, seemingly as a way of putting me down."

"Yeah, well, I warned you, Holly," I say unapologetically, cowardly cowering behind my knee shield again.

"You did, I just didn't realize that this was where this was heading," she says, now noticeably deflated.

"Well I hope you're happy!" I add.

"What am I exactly supposed to be happy about, Gail? Because at the moment I am anything but, you are making quite sure of that," she edges backwards away from me, finally creating some distance, though when it comes to her this is definitely not a good thing to have happen.

"You and my mother?" I clarify acting like a bratty teenager and if it was the most obvious statement in the world. "She loves you, you won her over. All the talking and the laughing and the wishing you were her own, I can't compete with that."

And there it is.

"Gail I-I," she stammers before trying to continue, "the talking, it's not," she stops her train of thought and shakes her head before standing up and walking back towards the window. "I was just doing what you told me to do," she breathes out against the cold glass. After a moment she turns around and looks back at me, her eyes glassy from the tears that are threatening to make an appearance. "I was just being myself, Gail," she sighs. "Despite every urge not to be, because I wanted her to like me. I didn't filter myself. I thought-" she recoils, becoming silent again.

"You thought what?" I urge her to finish.

"I thought you would appreciate that- that I was being myself. For you. Despite whether or not I put her off by my innate Holly-ness," she rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

I sense the mood change in the room as her eyes become darker and her breathing more even. Like all of a sudden she has flicked a switch and the tables are about to be turned. _Give it to me then._

"You get off on this don't you? The conflict?" She asks dogmatically.

"Don't be stupid. I don't enjoy doing this with you," I breathe out in semi-annoyance.

"I don't mean with me, Gail," she sighs, correcting my assumption while taking a few steps away from the window and into the center of the room. "You feed off it. You need conflict in your life to function properly. To function around her," she gestures towards the door. She walks back over to my dresser and picks up the family photo again. "And it's awful," her voice breaks as she holds out the photo to me. "I hate that she has this power over you," she says tapping on the glass before wiping a tear from her eye. She places the photo back on top of my dresser. "But as much as you think your mother is the enemy, and I am not saying she isn't worthy of the title because god knows spending the last seventy two hours with her was enough to catch a glimpse of how her mind works. She is relentless, Gail. I see it. It's enough to break anyone."

Given the way they had been acting around each other today I find her last statement a little surprising. "But not you," I quip.

"I can't change who I am, Gail, or the way I act around people, nor would I ever ask that of you and I would never, ever," she says emphatically, "purposefully step on your toes when it comes to your mother, I just hope you realize this at some point before it's too late."

"Before it's too late for what?"

She walks over to the bedroom door and slides her hand down it until it reaches the doorknob; she hesitates, hovering her hand over the metal knob before eventually turning it and swinging the door open. She slowly turns back to me, blinking away her tears. "You're your own worst enemy, Gail. Just don't let this consume you."

My thumb catches the lone tear falling down my cheek as she shuts the door behind her. I fear the echoing sounds of it closing will be set on repeat until something much louder occupies my head and it's not long before that is happening.


	40. Chapter 30

As a teenager I always used music as a form of escapism. When everything in my life became too much for me and the nagging voices too loud, I'd slip on a pair of headphones and drown it all out, let the music take me somewhere else, someplace where I was no longer Gail Peck, listless nobody. And it worked, for the most part.

But now, as I look into the full length mirror, all decked out in the full dress uniform my mother had set out for me, despite the extremely loud and often shrill tones of Alanis Morisette that are filling my old room, my thoughts still keep coming back to Holly. Well, one thought in particular, and that is how much better off she would be if we'd gone our separate ways the night of the shooting.

What if I hadn't pleaded for her to stay? Surely it would've saved us both from the inevitable pain and suffering that goes along when being in a relationship with me. I guess the only difference this time is that the suffering has come a little earlier than anticipated and there are no physical signs of being shot at, just painful aftermath. _It was definitely easier getting shot at._

I dig my fingers into my hair, just above my ears, gripping it angrily as images of the hurt look on Holly's face flash before my eyes, like a sadistic movie playing on repeat, only it's one I can't just walk out of.

A lone shiver rakes down my spine as I recall the harshness of my words that had so easily left my mouth. But, as terrible as my callous words were, its Holly's simple statement "you are your own worst enemy _"_ that has been echoing through my ears for the past ten minutes, haunting me. These six words are now ingrained in my mind where they will most likely rapidly metastasize and cause even further damage if left to fester for too long.

As I close my eyes, I try and breathe through the guilt constricting my chest, but for some reason the very same breathing exercises I learnt to calm my nerves after Jerry died once again seem to be failing me. _I think my therapist owes me a refund for that session, because clearly it was an hour wasted._

"No!" I growl to myself and I shake my head vehemently as yet another tear rolls down my cheek. After the performance I just put on, I truly believe I am undeserving of such tears, so I angrily brush it away like all the others that came before it.

_How could you say those things to Holly? Sweet, wonderful Holly. How could you let your insecurities get in the way of being happy… truly happy?_

I reach over to the end of the bed and pick up one of the two tie options. But just as I am about to wrap it around my neck, the volume of the music unexpectedly decreases, pulling me from my inner thoughts.

"What happened?" I jolt backwards and the room shakes from the shear force of her voice, rattling my bones.

"Shit! Mom! What the hell? You scared me!"

With one hand pressed firmly against my heaving chest, I quickly turn away from her, back to facing the mirror, hiding the tears that have been perpetually drying on my already stained cheeks.

"Gail, what did you do?" She scolds me without a moments pause, and her all-knowing accusal sends me instantly into another spiral of familiar self-loathing.

I glare into the mirror, my ears burning, and I can't help my reaction when she magically appears behind me like she's my stalker. "What do you mean what did I do?" I scowl indignantly, even though I know full well what she means and what I've done but as hard as I try not to, sometimes I can't give up an opportunity of being the childish brat I know I am. _Just ask Holly._

She purses her lips tightly together and narrows her eyes into threatening slits. _Christ, even her silence is deafening._ If I didn't know any better, I'd assume I'm about to receive one hell of a tongue-lashing because that pulsating vein in her neck – the one that has threatened to burst on numerous occasions – looks like it's on the verge of a full-blown Mount Vesuvius style eruption. "You know exactly what I am referring to," she insists, and before I even take my next breath I am on the receiving end of that famous Peck death glare. It's one that is on par with my own.

"Despite her best efforts not to, your friend was incoherently babbling something at me at the bottom of staircase. All I managed to catch was ' _ask your daughter,'_ and then, the next second, she was gone! She looked very upset, Gail. So?" She says, holding her hands out in bewilderment. "I will ask you again, what did you do to the poor girl?"

My eyes widen and I turn to face her, because seriously, the fucking nerve of this woman sometimes. "My friend? Don't you mean your friend?" I snap back with equal force.

"As usual, I have no idea what you are going on about." She shakes her head, dropping her arms heavily to her sides, not hiding her agitation.

"And why do you always assume I have done something anyway." I turn back to the mirror and straighten my shirt, attempting to act innocent. But I am anything but; I know that. I knew it before the words had even spilled from my mouth.

She huffs, "I know you Gail, you always-"

I roll my eyes almost as soon as the words come out of her all-knowing mouth. "Oh! My! God! You think you know me?" I interrupt her, my voice loud, much louder than I had anticipated.

I direct my gaze at her reflection and she defiantly places her hands on her hips. "Well, yes, you're my-"

"The one person who actually knows me, _mother_ , just walked out that door," I say, pointing towards where Holly had escaped from a few minutes ago. "You know what? Knowing her, she was probably running away for the exercise." I throw my arms up, exacerbated, "It's all your fault."

"My fault?" Her voice goes up an octave higher in surprise, clearly not expecting...well...this. "Why on earth is it my fault?"

I pick up the belt from the bed and begin the task of threading it through my pant loops. "Oh, I don't know?" I say, my tone dripping with sarcasm. "Maybe it's because you feel the need to impose yourself into every aspect of my life; my job, my relationships and my stupid bloody hair!" I spit out as I fasten my belt buckle. "And now, this weekend, with my best friend? Oh wait, I mean your best friend. Actually no, make that the daughter your wish you had," I add in for good measure.

"Gail," she drawls out softly as I hear her move towards me, and when I look up from what I was doing, she is already standing directly in front of me with her back to the mirror.

She takes a step closer.

"W-Wait," I stammer when she moves her arms up towards my neck, causing me to flinch. "What are you doing?" She takes hold of the tie hanging around my neck and I assume she means to choke me with it.

"I am helping you with your tie, what does it look like?" She slightly shakes her head and I sigh a little in relief.

"It looks like you are ignoring everything I just said," I argue and she tightens the knot around my neck, a little too tight if you ask me, because I find myself having to stretch my neck upwards to breath easier.

"Oh no, Gail. I heard you," she acknowledges my outburst with an emphatic nod of her head. She glances up, looking me directly in the eye before casting them down again to concentrate on the half Windsor knot she is tying. Her brow slowly relaxes in thoughtful contemplation and I brace myself for what is to come by squaring my shoulders and jaw. _Okay then, let me have it._

"Do you remember when you were a little girl-"

 _Oh, that's not where I thought this was going,_ I think to myself before interjecting, "Are we talking post-brain washing here?"

"I wasn't finished!" She admonishes, folding my collar over. She yanks down on the stiffened material then moves her hands across to my shoulders, smoothing out any creases she finds there. "When you were five years old-"

"That would be pre-brainwashing," I mutter.

"I was picking you up from your first day of school-"

"You mean the nanny was." I smirk.

She looks at me superciliously, her lips stiffening into a straight line. Her eyes flutter closed for a moment and I swear, I don't think I have ever seen her nose flair this wide before. I stifle a laugh.

She takes a deep breath in; I'm sure losing what little patience she has left. I do in fact believe she wants to choke me now.

She slowly opens her eyes again, narrowing them at me. She reaches for the jacket on the bed before continuing her train of thought that I had so quickly interrupted.

"I was picking you up from your first day of school," she repeats, momentarily putting her hand over my mouth, a silent warning for me to shut the hell up. I smirk at this. "I was standing by the front gate and I noticed you were sitting under a tree making daisy chains, watching the other little girls playing on the monkey bars," she tells me as I push my arms into the sleeves of the jacket she is holding out for me. "They were all laughing and having fun with each other. You were trying to concentrate on what you were making but you kept looking up to check what they were doing, and you were pulling that face you always pull."

"Which face?"

She lifts her head, meets my gaze and presses her index finger against the frown line between my eyes. "That one," she comments on my scowl, before going back to adjust my jacket, which, to her obvious horror, is sitting crooked on my shoulders. So, just to mess with her, I slump my shoulders to make it harder for her to fix. "Seriously sweetheart, have you ever heard of moisturizer?"

My eyes automatically roll back into my head. "Mum, _seriously,_ " I imitate her. "I am not in the mood for this." Her hands slide over my shoulders, down to my biceps where she squeezes them inwards, making me stand up straight again.

"I think that permanent scowl of yours might have started that day," she muses. "You sat that daisy chain down on the grass beside you and then started talking in its direction. Do you remember who you were talking to?"

"No," I say, even though I do in fact remember but I think, why give her the satisfaction?

"Yes, you do." She purses her lips, glaring at me as she waits for her answer. She would wait all night if it meant winning the conversation. She can have it if it means her leaving me alone any quicker.

"Muffin! I was talking to Muffin, you happy?"

"I thought your imaginary friends name was Darryl?"

"Darryl? Who the hell is Darryl? Her name was Muffin!"

"Okay!" She shushes me, gesturing with her hands, "Muffin, the baby kangaroo."

"Well, technically she was a joey," I correct her.

"Fine! Muffin the Joey then," she concedes, shaking her head. "Christ! Performing brain surgery would be easier than this conversation," she says under her breath but still purposefully loud enough for me to hear.

"Let me guess, you freaked out because you thought your kid was crazy?"

"Nothing much has changed has it?" The corner of her lip curls slightly into a smirk. I have to give it to her, my mother snarks with the best of them. _Perhaps that's where you get it… No, no, let's not go there._

She regains her composure and continues, "Actually, studies have shown that children with imaginary friends…well, they can help forge the creative sides of their brains. Not to mention, increase their social skills and awareness of others..." She trails off.

My jaw drops open in disbelief. Surely she must be kidding, right? "Well, most of that didn't happen, mom."

She nods her head, "I know and that's my point, sweetheart. My heart broke for you that day and I don't think that part of me ever really healed, until today, when I saw you interacting with Holly and how comfortable you were around her and how that spills over to those who are around you. I have never seen that before, with you," she admits and I'm more than a little surprised from her words and also a little curious as to what she might be insinuating, if anything.

"I have always worried about you, Gail. I still do, it's hard not to," she admits freely, which can mean only one thing– I am currently witnessing some kind of possession. _Imposter_! "I feel as if your entire life you've always taken a back seat and observed everything and everyone from afar; you never really put yourself out there and socialized or tried to create opportunities for yourself, and if you did, you did it in secret. And that's partially my fault, I guess," she says, however, going by the scrunched up expression on her face, she doesn't sound all too convinced of herself. She lowers her head. "I never really gave you a chance. So, as the years passed, and I noticed how making friends didn't get any easier for you – actually it got considerably worse once you developed that sharp tongue of yours." She looks up at me and I roll my eyes, "I thought a change of focus might be good for you. So I pushed you, and I pushed you hard because I thought at least then you would have something important to build your life around – something that could you make you happy, especially if you weren't going to be relying on others to do that for you."

"You mean to make you happy?" I counter.

"Yes, fine!" She huffs. "I'll admit that didn't hurt but I had good intentions."

"Really?" I laugh incredulously. "By the way, you are making me out to sound like some sort of emotional cripple!"

"Well I don't think that is true for a second. However," she tilts her head, her concentration falling on one particularly troublesome button on my half open jacket, "you may be a little challenged in that department."

"You are not helping yourself right now," I growl and I try and pat her hands away, but her hands stiffen after gripping at the lapels of my jacket. It's hard not to notice how her body language changes, like she has been cloaked in sadness.

"And then you got shot." She trails one hand down my lapel, both our eyes following her careful movement as it settles on my ribcage. And for a split second, as her hand edges towards the ends of my jacket, I think she is going to go further and open it and lift up my shirt.

"What's being shot got to do with anything?" I ask quietly.

"You got shot and I wasn't there. I put you in that position." She takes a step back, leaving nothing but confusion in her wake.

"You made some bat shit crazy man with a rifle storm the division and shoot at my best friend and my colleagues?" I ask, but she can't seem to look me in the eye.

She takes a deep breath, "I forced and manipulated you into a life where you could be killed at any moment, just to fill a need to… to–" she stumbles, which is totally unlike her, considering her normally stoic nature, maybe she really is a pod-person.

"Mom, I don't understand why you are telling me this," I say and she finally looks up at me. "I am not that helpless little girl anymore and to be honest, I am getting sick and tired of constantly having to prove that to you, to prove myself to you."

She steps towards, sighing as she pulls an orphan thread from my sleeve. "I'm sorry you feel that way."

My brow automatically furrows, "What does that mean?"

She takes another deep breath, which seems to steady her. "I know I wasn't the best mother," she admits and I fight the urge to comment that what she just said was the understatement of the century. "But you're my only daughter and I love you."

I scoff. I know! I'm terrible! But I can't help it. "You have a strange way of showing it."

"I know," she agrees, lifting her shoulders ever so slightly into a shrug. Yes, that's right! Superintendent Elaine Peck did in fact just shrug!

I am buttoning the cuffs on my wrists when it dawns on me, "Is this what this weekend was about? This was your guilt-ridden attempt at spending time with me because I might die at any moment?"

She says nothing and steps around me, before nudging me closer to the mirror. I take her silence as a 'yes'.

"So does this mean what I think it means?" I ask as I look at our reflections.

"There, you look perfect," she declares, giving each of my sleeves a brush down, freeing it of any lint. "What's that sweetheart?" She looks up, now half-concentrating on my hair.

"That I can quit the force?"

She stills, and then her mouth slowly falls open. "What?"

"I said, now I can quit the force because it is too dangerous and you don't want your only daughter – who you love dearly – to die."

Her eyes widen. "I never said that, Gail. I never said that!"

"Because I've had the paper work all drawn up for a few years now. I can hand it in tomorrow," I joke.

"What? No you won't, young lady. Over my dead body!"

I laugh. "Y'know, Holly has taught me a few things over the last few months about how to dispose of dead bodies without leaving any trace of evidence. I am particularly fond of the–"

"I spawned the devil," she says to herself once she realizes I'm joking. She's shakes her head as she looks around the room in search of something. "Where are those shoes?"

I point to the floor behind her and she bends over and picks them up. "Sit," she urges me and I do as I'm told and sit down on the edge of the bed. She then passes me the patent black leather dress shoes and takes a seat next to me.

As I undo my laces, I notice out the corner of my eye that she has picked up the alternate tie from the corner of the bed and is aimlessly folding it over and over, drawing it back and forth through her fingers, possibly calculating her next move.

"Why don't you talk to me?" she asks softly.

I drop my head back and sigh. "You don't make it easy, mother."

She says nothing and we proceed to sit in silence. I am usually quite content to do this with my mother, if only because it means she is not otherwise accosting me about something. But as I continue to loosen the laces of each shoe, our silence becomes increasingly uncomfortable.

"And what would you want me to say?" I ask, needing to fill the silence all of a turns her head to me and our eyes meet. It's making me anxious, so I look down at the shoes in my lap.

I feel her gently brush my hair back from my shoulder. "Why don't we start with what you said to upset Dr. Stewart."

As my fingers tangle in the laces, I shake my head in short twitchy movements. _Anything but that_. "I don't want to talk about it."

She sighs and stands up, "Fine then," she concedes all too quickly, and oddly enough, I am a little disappointed; I was expecting more of a fight. _Maybe she is learning?_ However, in this instance I actually feel like saying something, I just don't know what or how.

She makes her way over to the door, "Dinner is in 15 minutes. And don't bother with the shoes; I'm sure they're fine. You might want to polish them before Friday night though."

I bite my lip, not quite believing what I am about to say. "I don't–"

She turns back to me but I don't look at her. "You don't what?"

Instead of undoing the laces, I notice I have in fact created more knots. "I don't…know… how… to speak to you," I sporadically space each word. I look up, narrowing my eyes, "And don't say 'use your words,' I hate that."

"I wasn't. I'm not. Just-" She gestures forward with her hands, urging me to continue.

I take a deep breath, "I got jealous," I admit and she nods. "Jealous and stupid."

She nods again but not in all-knowing way, more so in understanding.

"I don't know...I said some things about you and her and all the laughing and talking you were doing today. I was jealous, okay?" I reiterate.

"Oh, Gail," she says rather melodramatically.

"I was jealous that she could so effortlessly make you happy like that, and that you responded to her so easily. Something that I can never make you feel or do."

"Oh Gail," she says again and this time it her tone urges me look up.

"Why do you keep saying my name like that?"

"We are both really stupid."

"Huh?" I scrunch up my face, confused.

"So incredibly stupid," she mutters to herself, lightly shaking her head as she makes her way back over to the bed and sits down again.

"Mom, are you okay? You just called yourself stupid. I mean...I'm not one to disagree with you, but-"

"We were talking about you." She faces me.

"What?"

"Dr. Stewart and I?" She clarifies. "We were talking about you! I was asking her things; I wanted to know how you were doing, since– since it happened."

"But-"

"Gail, you say that I don't make it easy, but neither do you. Since Perrick, you seem even more closed off than before, with me...with everyone." I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. "You don't speak to me. You rarely answer my calls. So sometimes I am left to do my own recognizance. Holly seemed like my best bet when it came to you...I was right."

I look across the room, absently, my eyes glazing over. "But, all the laughing."

"Well she said some funny things about you and if you hadn't noticed, sweetheart, once she finds a subject she likes, she talks. A lot. I was partially laughing at her," she chuckles, remembering.

"She didn't mention anything though," I say quietly. "Why wouldn't she just tell me? I was sitting here saying these awful things and she didn't say a word."

"I don't know, sorry."

"Wait a minute…" I stand up in a huff. "Did you tell her not to say anything?"

Her eyes widen, "What? Of course not!" She defends herself.

"She said she would never do that," I say, more so to myself, remembering one the last things Holly had said to me just before she walked out. She had said she would never interfer with my business when it came to my mother. Although, she also said she wouldn't leave, and she did that too.

"Do what? Talk to me?" She asks, baffled. "Gail, that doesn't make any sense! But if it matters so much to you, I don't think she realized what she was saying half the time, and to be honest, I always expected her to tell you about our conversations seeing how you two seem to be joined at the hip."

"Mother-"

"If it's any consolation, I'm sorry."

"You should be. Fuck!" I angrily grab at my hair, pulling it slightly.

"Language!" She scolds me, standing as she checks her watch. She taps on the glass. "Now, why don't you take that uniform off and we'll talk more about this after dinner. Your father made your favorite, beef bourguignon," she informs me but I can't be bothered telling her that it's in fact Steve's favorite. Speaking of Steve…"and your brother called earlier, supposedly he's bringing someone. Let's just hope she isn't as bad as the last one; I think I went deaf within the first two minutes of speaking to her. Do you know anything about this one? She better not be a…"

I completely drown my mother out as I round the bed and quickly pull on my boots. I pick up my clothes that are strewn over the floor and bed and shove them into my bag, burying Gail-shark beneath them before taking my iPhone out of the speaker system.

"Gail, what are you doing? Your uniform!" She exclaims as I make my way over to the door. "Gail, wait!"

My hand freezes on the doorknob and I drop my head back, "Mum, I have to go."

"I know and that's fine, but promise me one thing?"

I roll my eyes, "I know, no eating in front of the precious uniform," I say as I attempt to leave again, this time I actually turn the doorknob.

"Not that," she says. "Be careful, okay? With Holly? Try not to be-"

I turn around and raise my eyebrows, wondering what the end of that sentence might be, "Myself?"

She rises from the bed. "Not exactly, but you might want to be careful where her feelings are concerned."

"What?" I say, perplexed. "I'm not stupid, mom. I think that's a given." I open the door and step through it, however, I still don't get far because she grabs me by the arm, stopping me from gaining any ground.

"No, sweetheart, she loves you," she states, which is news to me. "Probably more than she should." _Shit._ I look to the stairs and she releases my arm and I am moving quickly, past Steve's wall of fame.

"Just keep walking," I tell myself.

"Oh and Gail?" She calls out, just as I'm about to take the first step down the staircase, one step closer to an apology. I freeze on the spot, my whole body stiffening. I loll my head to the side and find her leaning into the doorjamb of my bedroom.

"Tomorrow I have a meeting with Sergeant Best, just before lunch."

"Yes, mother, I know. It goes without saying, I will do my best not to embarrass you."

Her eyes widen and then she is throwing her hands up in the air, "For crying out loud, Gail! Will you just let me finish speaking for once before jumping to conclusions?"

As her voice echoes around the house, I hear the front door close downstairs and the distinct sound of Steve's voice carries up the staircase. I take a cautious step back towards her. "Okay, okay, calm your tits, I'm sorry," I try to quiet her. The last thing I want is for my mother to be making a scene in front of Traci. Traci is probably already shitting her pants.

"Is everything okay up there?" My dad calls out from below.

My mother steps over to the bannister and peers down at the entry way, "We're fine, darling. We'll be down in a minute," she informs him calmly before looking back at me. "If you'd have let me finish, what I wanted to ask you was do you have time for lunch tomorrow, after my meeting? I think there are some things we need to discuss." _Things? What things? Holly things?_

"Fine, okay," I agree almost instantly, my tone slightly dismissive, "but I _really_ have to go now." I impatiently tap my foot against the bottom of the bannister as I wait for permission to leave.

She squints, scrutinizing me carefully to make sure her words have gotten though. "Go." Her hands flick forward, shooing me away. _Finally!_ I think. "Flee, my devil child."

Half a second later, I am bounding down the stairs, however, I slow as I go and remove one of the family photos from the wall, and tuck it carefully into my bag.

"And thank Dr. Stewart for her participation this weekend," she continues, "seeing as I didn't get a chance to," she trails off.

I let her backhanded comment roll off my back, like I do most of her comments. When I reach the bottom of the staircase my father is waiting for me with, not one, but two coats hanging over his arm. Holly must have left hers here, I gather.

Before I can even open my mouth to ask him a favor, he reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out the keys to his BMW and dangles them in front of my face.

"Thanks, dad." I smile softly as he drops them into my open hand. I rise up onto my tippy toes and place a gentle kiss on his cheek and his wiry, greying beard tickles my face.

"I'll get her back to you safely," I assure him, stepping away. After all, I am nothing if not a diligent driver.

"I'll see you soon, honey." He drapes the coats over my forearm and then squeezes my shoulder.

"Hey, loser," Steve greets me as he and Traci walk back into the entry way from the dining room. They are nursing a couple stiff drinks in their hands. If I weren't planning on driving, I'd be downing them both. What I wouldn't give for some liquid courage right now.

"Gail, we saw-"

"Sorry, Trace, can't talk," I brush her off and ignore Steve completely. I reach for the front door and turn the knob. "Fucked up royally. Gotta go."

Something clicks with Traci and she nods, "Understood," she says, and I am thankful she does. Under normal circumstances I would have liked to be by her side, at least trying to offer her some kind of moral support but seeing as I'm on an important mission right now, I think it's only fitting that I leave her with some very important advice.

I glance over my shoulder at my mother who is now standing on the bottom step of the staircase. Her hands are planted on either side of my fathers' shoulders. I look back at Traci, "Protect your balls," I offer. "And I warmed her up for you." Not looking back to see my mother's reaction, I open the door, and with a heavy heart, step outside into the setting sun, pulling the door closed behind me.

From the front stoop, I stare out into the usually quiet court, past the cars in the driveway and watch as the neighboring children play in the middle of street with their makeshift hockey sticks and pucks. Their parents watch on from the nature strip and wave as Mrs. Landingham, our crotchety nextdoor neighbor of twenty years, puts out her recycling bin so it's ready for collection bright and early tomorrow morning.

I diligently wave back as I trudge down the front steps and over to dad's car. My arms are getting weaker by the second from the heavy load I'm carrying. My tummy grumbles fiercely as the familiar scent of Sunday roasts wafts right by me in the cool gentle breeze. I breathe in deeply and savor the different fragrances assaulting my senses, sighing heavily when I eventually have to exhale. Perhaps this whole not-staying-for-dinner idea was a mistake, I think to myself. I probably shouldn't even be driving let alone speaking on an empty stomach, considering how irritable I get when I haven't been sufficiently fed.

As I reach ahead to unlock the back passenger seat door, I fumble the keys and they fall from my hand, clanging against the concrete driveway. But when I bend down and pick them up, everything else seems to snow ball. The coats slip from my arm and my bag drops from my shoulder with a thud, and half of its contents empty out onto the concrete. "You mothertrucking fucknugget of a bag! Why?" I screech with clenched fists, my head tilted towards the heavens.

"Gail Harrison Peck!" My name is burnt into the back of my head, startling me. The wind picks up speed, and just as I am slowly turning around, I see half a dozen of my possessions roll down the driveway. _There goes Gail-shark._

Looking over the roofs of both Steve and Dad's cars, I see Mrs. Landingham – well, the top half of her head anyway, as she is glaring at me from the other side of the fence. "Don't make me spray you, child." She raises her arm, showing me her weapon.

"Sorry, ma'am," I find myself apologizing, which I guess is going to be a theme tonight. With a side-glance, I take note of the parents on the other side of the road that are now frowning at me. _Whoops!_ "Your aim has always been lousy," I add, meeting Mrs. Landingham's eyes again. As a child, I was always able to easily evade her attacks. "Perhaps the Superintendent can give you some pointers," I jeer but instantly regret my decision. _Empty stomach strikes again._ Even though it's just water, my mother would kill me if I got my precious uniform wet. I just hope she didn't hear me from inside.

Thankfully, Mrs. Landingham just grunts at me and lowers her hose before dissapearing back behind the fence.

I stare down at my bag and it's remaining contents. I sigh when I realize that I now have to pick everything up. Not to mention these pants, which are kind of riding up in places they shouldn't be.

"Do you always pick your wedgies out in public?"

I am all but ready for a quick retort when I turn and see Holly standing in the middle of the driveway. She is holding Gail-shark in one hand and various other toiletry items in the other.

"H-Holly," I stutter her name, and the car keys once again slip though my fingers. The sound falls on deaf ears as she looks at me with a neutral expression. I scan her face for signs of annoyance, or worse, hatred, but see nothing. Then again, it's not nothing because her cheeks are stained with tears, just like mine, and I now know that the deep seeded pain inside me, that unbearable ache in the pit of my stomach, is not just from literal hunger, but my hunger for her and knowing that I'm the reason for those tears eats at me.

An involuntary intake of breath takes me by surprise. It's not quick or sharp but a shuddering one and it leaves nothing behind except exhaustion. Despite myself, I slowly bend over and reach for the keys. I'm thinking, the longer I take to do this, the more time I have to figure out what to say, but to be honest, I am not ready for this particular conversation just yet. You see, I was going to use the time it took to drive over to Holly's apartment to get my words in order, but now it looks like I will only have the time it takes for me to repack my bag.

I remain in a squatted position as I stuff everything back into my bag in a disorderly fashion. But even if I wanted to, I don't think I could move right now, I feel rooted to this spot in the driveway, my eyes focused on an oil slick caused by Steve's old mustang from his high school days.

I clear my throat. "You stayed," are the only words I manage to muster, my delivery is quiet and feeble. I chance a glance up at her but she is already on her way down, and soon she is kneeling next to me and shivering from the cold. I fight the urge to wrap my arms around her and make her warm again.

Still cradling Gail-shark in her arm, she soon places her and the rest of the items that she retrieved from the driveway into my bag, before zipping it up until it can't be zipped anymore. "I promised you once I would," she whispers, and my heart races with uncertainty. "Lets get out of here."

**Author's Note:**

> [Find me on Tumblr](http://gail-shark.tumblr.com)
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> [Chapter 14 Illustration](http://gail-shark.tumblr.com/post/69355877313/gail-x-holly-rookie-blue-fan-fic)
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> [Chapter 18 Illustration](http://gail-shark.tumblr.com/post/71571334028/watercolour-painting-i-suddenly-feel-like-a-deer)
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> [Chapter 25 a) Illustration](http://gail-shark.tumblr.com/post/75112736752/my-best-friend-gail-holly-rookie-blue-fan-fic)
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> [Chapter 27 Illustration](http://gail-shark.tumblr.com/post/76490516649/my-best-friend-gail-holly-rookie-blue-fan-fic)
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> [Chapter 28 f) Illustration](http://gail-shark.tumblr.com/post/79545257527/my-best-friend-gail-holly-rookie-blue-fan-fic)


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